Don't Look Under the Internet
Don't Look Under the Internet
DLUTI 160 - The Field Studies Institute: Part 1
Someone shipped a box of random stuff to DLUTI HQ. Well, many of you send us many random things; however, this one stood out. Stamped only with a label marked “The Field Studies Institute,” it floated directly out of the sump pump. Today, we’re breaking down the contents of said box, as well as diving into a rabbit hole that may be a little…. SCP-Shaped. Join Matt, Jason, and Mike as they try to make sense of the contents of the totally real box we got sent.
It’s the Field Studies Institute! Part 1!
From murderers to money launderers, thieves to thugs – police officers from the...
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Don't look under the internet go, go, better, faster, go, better, faster, stronger, make it better, disable streamer mode Sephiroth, sephiroth, I've been. So there's two things I want to bring up. Hi, hello everyone.
Speaker 3:This is.
Speaker 4:Diluity oh, we're doing it.
Speaker 1:Don't look under the internet Internet comedy or podcast and it's starring Jason?
Speaker 4:No, I don't think so. It's starring Moot Quiet and it's starring me, Michael. We haven't had a guest. I'm the guest.
Speaker 3:Well, okay, you know when you have a show. I haven't had an important guest in a long time.
Speaker 4:You know, when you have a show like Always Sunny, where it has credits for everyone, like two months ago, not even, oh, you're right, you're right, I'm always that reason. Yeah, you know how like and I'm always sunny it shows like the credits and even now, after like almost 20 years, it still says and special guest danny tofito yeah, that's me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I guess I'm always the special guest.
Speaker 4:I'm never I didn't realize.
Speaker 3:It says special guest yeah, like he's on every fucking episode. It says special guest or guest starring.
Speaker 4:It does not mean he isn't special so there's two things that I want to bring to the table. They're random, but I think it's funny and I have to talk about them to somebody. First and foremost, I bring up Seth Roth for a reason whenever I'm at work and I get an email from an upset client or anything, where is this going?
Speaker 4:I always get that tone. I like to sing the Seth Roth music in my head because it sets it up like this is a big bad guy, but really it's just someone that is having a very small minute issue with their website Some 64-year-old car salesman. It's not showing the right car and in my head, I'm just like. Seth Roth.
Speaker 3:Hey man, life is only as important as you make it so that, exactly, I hear like the fight music from Oblivion yeah.
Speaker 4:Every email reply is like the like when, you like, hit a guy with a sword and uplifting his head a little like hip music, hip sound. Second thing I want to bring to the table Amelia, super fond of Cars, the movie and Cars in general.
Speaker 2:Okay, been watching a bunch of Cars and it got me thinking have you shown her in the past in the Furious, yet Not yet.
Speaker 4:I'm waiting.
Speaker 2:I'm waiting on that one until she understands no, you didn't have to forget about it, you knew exactly.
Speaker 4:She has to know what kuh is in order to understand family and corona yeah, but uh, it got me thinking a lot more people would be super interested in like nascar or like car racing in general if they had like wwe style names, imagine a nascar everybody should have like a persona yeah, imagine a nascar like uh, uh commentator, like oh, here comes number 23, it's jimmy shift.
Speaker 4:I would watch the shit out of that. And you got like carl pedals or something. They all have to be car related. You got like Carl pedals or something. They all have to be car related. Chuck transmission or something, watch the shit out of that.
Speaker 2:Just the names would be enough to change your mind, david.
Speaker 3:Transmission Manifold.
Speaker 2:There was a guy about 10 years ago named Scott Speed.
Speaker 3:Scott.
Speaker 2:Speed.
Speaker 4:Scott Sterling.
Speaker 2:There was a guy named Dick Trickle too. That was a long time ago.
Speaker 4:Oh, I remember Dick Trickle. I never watched it, but I remember the memes.
Speaker 2:Maybe that's why NASCAR was so much more popular like 30 years ago. Maybe the names were better. There was a bunch of redneck names, yeah.
Speaker 4:But I'm just saying like it would be a lot better if there's a guy just named jimmy shift I thought you were gonna say, like, make the cars sentient, and also able to make decisions, everyone gets uh, all the cars are sentient, where they become like tesla cars, where they're self-driving and they crash into the people watching the race.
Speaker 2:That's the whole bit I would unironically watch a self-driving race car race series yeah, I think that's how that unfolds.
Speaker 3:I would only watch it at like the beginning of the existence of that league.
Speaker 4:Yeah, when it's still bad yeah like 15 years in they've worked the kinks out like I don't want that shit right, I want everyone I want everyone listening to either email us or just reach out to us somehow with your best car pun name for a nascar racer. Ie like like your Jimmy Shifts or your Carl Gas Pedals, things like that. Give me your best car pun name Now you might be thinking that we are going to be talking to you today about automobiles
Speaker 4:or cars, or something like that I have to do a thing you might be thinking that I'm going to do a diluty Clap above your head.
Speaker 3:I'm here to tell you you're wrong.
Speaker 4:I've got to pull these up. Shit ass. I'm slacking on my job. You just decided to talk about cars for a real long time, all right, so we have a couple people I want to give a shout out to. So first things first have um and and again we're gonna play the game. Name name, bad name. Did I do pacarina last time? I don't remember if I did or not.
Speaker 3:Pacarina, I don't think so name it doesn't sound familiar, it doesn't counts as, like ocarina, like a legend of time, the pacarina of time all right, the pachyderm of time. The pachyderm of time yeah, it's a time, elephant you know I'm gonna give it an.
Speaker 4:Okay, I like that pachyderm of time since we've taken it so far.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm on board. There's so many possibilities it's like a six and a half yeah, I'd say six and a half is a solid number for it we have miss muse, like m? U s e miss muse I like, like M-U-S-E, miss Muse, I like that. Yeah, it's kind of fun. It's the alliteration six solid four.
Speaker 4:It sounds like Miss Muse, sounds like a Batman Beyond villain whose power is like reverberation reverberation what? Yeah, she reverberates yeah, up next.
Speaker 3:I don't even know what that actually does that mean?
Speaker 2:she vibrates or like everything. Does that mean she?
Speaker 4:vibrates or everything she says echoes a lot Like shoots, sound waves. That reverberates things.
Speaker 2:So she's basically like Aquaman above water.
Speaker 4:Yeah, still talks to fish, but has a hard time getting to them. Can't really hear you, oh no.
Speaker 2:She can communicate with sea life, but she can't go in the ocean. What a fucking superpower.
Speaker 3:Always longing but can never. Never the forbidden fruit, yeah we have smelly sully.
Speaker 4:There's one smelly sully.
Speaker 1:I like it smelly, that's good that's.
Speaker 3:I mean, that's good. The illiterate I'm always a sucker for alliteration, so do that and you've got at least a point behind your name. There you go. What about you? Boopop Smelly.
Speaker 2:Sully Six and a half.
Speaker 4:A lot of sixes being thrown from you. You're just never satisfied. We have Bone Cake. I like Bone Cake.
Speaker 3:Bone Cake is ready.
Speaker 4:It does sound like a wrestler. It also sounds like a metal band, kind of Bone.
Speaker 2:Cake. I like Bone Cake.
Speaker 4:That's a seven and a half Moved up one, all right.
Speaker 3:Got into some odd numbers there.
Speaker 4:We have Pickle.
Speaker 3:Wartooth Yep yeah that's a good one.
Speaker 4:Eight to nine Pickle.
Speaker 3:Wartooth Somewhere in there.
Speaker 4:That's a great one, and then we have Nico.
Speaker 2:I really like it when people just put silly words together in a meaningless order.
Speaker 4:Yeah or oh no, I shit my pants.
Speaker 3:Yeah or that, but it still does not top Big Jug Hot.
Speaker 4:Cheese. And my favorite part, again about that is, it's not a Big Jug.
Speaker 3:Hot Cheese.
Speaker 4:It's just Big Jug Hot Cheese. I don't know Big Jug Hot Cheese. I don't even know if you're still subscribed to us or not, but if you are, hello.
Speaker 2:They were in the Discord, like last week or the week. Hell yeah, big jug hot cheese.
Speaker 4:We still love you well. The last one is nika. By the way, n-i-k-a.
Speaker 3:Nika, nike, that's a repeat, but they resubbed because they were having issues oh, so we should belittle them, then, for having issues with our website fuck you.
Speaker 1:If you're not understanding your site, fuck your ip address welcome back, nika.
Speaker 4:sorry you had problems, but glad to have you. It was probably our fault, probably most of the time it is. I really should, since we have so many problems. I should probably learn oh, motherfucker, oh. That concludes housekeeping. I should probably learn how to fix issues like that, you know, and I'm trying to think.
Speaker 3:You might need some experience.
Speaker 4:Is there a place I could go to to learn Like a college?
Speaker 3:An institute of some sort.
Speaker 4:Or an institute of some sort.
Speaker 3:No, it sounds like you need some hands-on experience in the field.
Speaker 4:You're absolutely right. I do need hands-on experience in the field. That sentence you said that I stumbled through just now.
Speaker 2:Would you say that you would need to study?
Speaker 4:I Would. You say that you would need to study. I would. You'd need to study, you'd need an institute, you'd need a field. I need a field.
Speaker 1:I need a field.
Speaker 4:We're talking today, if you haven't caught on, about the Institute of Studying Fields. We're talking about the Field Studies.
Speaker 2:Institute. What the fuck is that?
Speaker 4:I came across this bad boy on Instagram.
Speaker 2:Oh you sure did.
Speaker 4:And you said that kind of threatening.
Speaker 2:No, I'm just gonna be your hype man.
Speaker 3:This episode I'm trying to bring a new energy I will say sometimes I listen back to the episodes and I'm like man, I'm just like mumbling my way through this whole thing.
Speaker 4:I'm bringing energy this time, man that new year's resolution for 2025 is kicking in halfway through 2024.
Speaker 2:New Year, new Matt in August.
Speaker 3:Can we just make our own New Year's and just put it in August?
Speaker 4:I'm like a Chinese New Year, but for Duluth.
Speaker 3:Yeah for Duluth Stan.
Speaker 4:Honestly, we are our own nation state. We could just we did just get that paperwork. Yeah, thanks Obama, that's what Biden did. Biden was like I only have Biden put in his two weeks and was like y'all want to be a state? Fuck it. There you go.
Speaker 2:He was looking through Obama's backlog and he was like, oh, what's this?
Speaker 3:Yeah, he forgot to approve this. Okay, fuck it.
Speaker 4:I'm this. Okay, fuck it, I'm out in 100 days. Do it whatever? Um, yeah, we're talking about the uh field studies, this toothball era. I'm okay with that. Uh came across on instagram. I thought it was very compelling. Um, it's gonna be an interesting hole to go down because, as far as I can tell, and we'll, we'll tackle this as we go together as a family.
Speaker 2:Um, I cannot, for the life of me, find a coherent narrative and I I'm okay with that uh, I've found a couple attempts of some people to try to put it together and they still don't make a lot of sense this seems to me in a similar vein as scp, and I think that's the vibe that it's supposed to be giving off, but who the fuck knows Just a bit newer and less legal trouble.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so there are three, I would say three categories, and each category has subcategories. Is that an?
Speaker 3:appropriate way of putting it. Yeah, categories, see, I don't know.
Speaker 4:Is it like a I don't even know how to describe that. It almost looks like they're cataloging things and separating them. There's three, there's three files and then there's the information in the files. There we go right, um, so I thought it would be a good idea to kind of break these up. It's not going to be three episodes. We're breaking into two, um only because I don't want to over, I don't want to just shove all this into one episode. I think that'd be stupid. But, um, there is file zero, zero interior overture. There is file zero one, lost and found.
Speaker 2:You should we explain where you can find this?
Speaker 1:oh yeah no, I'll get let me.
Speaker 4:I'll do that, actually give me one second, and then there's zero two facility ambience, um, and there's information in each of those files. We're going to go over zero, zero interior overture, today and the other two we're going to go over next week. So if you go to fieldstudiesinstituteorg, uh, you will come across a page that asks if you would like to go into the archives and once you do that, you get to this page that has these files in it. Um, the information these files varies wildly and, uh, a lot of it. We did get some tapes in.
Speaker 3:We did I? Honestly I was starting to worry, since we kind of cut ties with the foundation a little bit and I mean they were just getting a little ridiculous. But our vlc player has been collecting dust it has the laser and it hasn't been turned on quite a long time, yeah, so but good news everybody.
Speaker 4:Luckily the field institute sent us a couple uh tapes and it's very weird that the people on those tapes sound like us.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, I think that's part of the allure. It was to get our attention. True, kind of like what the fuck was it called the video we never recorded because, well, that's what the VLC player does, it, plays whatever you put into it in your own voice.
Speaker 4:Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's one of them new fancy it is an scp and it's awesome there you go.
Speaker 3:It's scp vlc. We stole it from the foundation.
Speaker 4:Before we cut ties with them, don't tell them yeah, well, now it's going public, so it's too late for that, but so we're gonna go over again. If you go to field studies instituteorg, look over it yourself. I highly recommend it. I think it's just genuinely an interesting uh uh website. There's not huge, huge amount going on right now, but there is a fourth file called 03, not in Kansas, it is in progress, so this seems to be something that is building.
Speaker 4:As we go Now, as we go along, we're going to start things off a little hot and fresh, so I'm going to go over my bits and we're going to go from there. What do you guys think of that? What do you boys think?
Speaker 3:I'm going to start us off. Let's go over Mike's bits and then we'll talk about the stuff we have to talk about. Let's jiggle your bits.
Speaker 4:Jiggle my bits, Dad. Jiggle my fucking bits. So this starts off with a file named Hell yeah. Hal file name hell yeah, uh, halicon violation, or yeah, I'm good, halicon, halcyon, halcyon violation.
Speaker 2:Thank you, whatever, um and you got this mike, thank you.
Speaker 4:This is an orientation file. This is film part four of recovering transient objects.
Speaker 3:Weird how we start on part four. Like recovering, like they're recovering from being transient, or you're like finding them and picking them up and taking them. Yeah, uh-huh uh-huh, uh.
Speaker 4:So the background we get to this is that the film shown here is the fourth in a series was used during the orientation training process of newly hired or promoted field recovery specialists. Parts of this film and the rest of the series were destroyed when employee improperly stored the items. Oh, do you have the redacted button? Uh, is this? It Redacted? We're gonna use and abuse the shit out of that guy here.
Speaker 3:Hold on, let me get on the same page as you. Actually, I'll just look at your shit. Here's the procedure.
Speaker 4:Um, this is not. This file itself is not a transient object. However, this item does contain references to redacted and is therefore included in this archive as requested. No further procedural information is available. There are other categories as well. The other category for this one says that this film series was used during the orientation process from 1975 through 1979.
Speaker 3:A new film series is debuted in 1980, which, I'm guessing, is why they don't use this one anymore.
Speaker 4:Yeah, exactly 80, which I'm guessing is why they don't use this one anymore. Yeah, exactly. So this video, um, I took like a tldr the video for it, but it's kind of like these two guys digging in a field because they're field agents in the field studies institute right.
Speaker 4:Oh, again field and it goes over this in the video. But again, this is the fourth video in a set of training videos. It goes over transient objects and how to properly handle them and store them. The first transient object was found in 1970. These transient objects can appear to be from the future, but there's a lot more strange that's going on than just something from the future. These objects are products of a space-time deviation. This is called Deviation Omega and this is where it all started and all took place during Project Soma in 1969. These objects can take appearance of mundane items Deviation.
Speaker 4:What did I say?
Speaker 3:He's saying it like he pronounces it Deviation. Is that the?
Speaker 4:way you say it Deviation. Never mind Deviation, I'll the way you say it Deviation, never mind Deviation. I'll say it your way, so these objects can take appearances of mundane objects from around the house. Ie, one could be a book, one could be a mug, one could be two books, for example, inside of that book, two mugs, two mugs.
Speaker 3:Two mugs. See, now you're getting out of hand.
Speaker 2:Could be a chain, it could be two chains.
Speaker 4:Who's two chains? Got two chains, but I got a few on uh anyway. So, um, now I kind of lost my train of thought on that one. So you got this, mike.
Speaker 3:Thank you threw a flashbang at yourself.
Speaker 4:You pretty much did so with these, uh, these items, for example. Again, they could be look like a book or a mug. Uh, if you look inside, like if you find a book, if you look inside the book, um, you could find writings from, uh, a distant future or from a history that never occurred in your world. Um, some objects are a little bit harder to come by. Um, a lot of these transient objects are actually unfortunately a little harder to come by, as they are in other countries.
Speaker 2:Some of them are a little harder to come with too.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Million dollar. Matt with his zingers.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, New year, new me.
Speaker 4:I'm on one for the remainder of 2024. I'll be depressed again next week. Next week you're just kind of sunken, black eyes, just chain smoking I went too hard, mike I got overcorrected.
Speaker 4:Too happy, I overcorrected um this fucking sucks so they could be in like they're in very difficult to reach places as well. So we don't have a huge, huge amount of these um, transient objects, um, but the ones that we do have, the ones that we have found, that's where we all come into play. We are here to catalog the history of uh, deviation, deviation, omega. That is our goal is to catalog deviation, omega, omega. That's what we are doing here as field study institutes, institutes. So the next one I got here is a log that we found of text communication. But again, these people were nice enough to send us a tape and this tape is gonna. It's an audio version of it, which is really nice. Jason, do you want to plug that tape in for me?
Speaker 2:or I guess you don't plug in tapes, but you don't I mean push play on the tape reader stick, the laser disc and is it not plugging it in?
Speaker 3:I. You know, I guess you're kind of right, I don't like describing it like that. But yeah, I can Hold on one second. Let me find the. How do you put this in here? Hold on.
Speaker 4:There, I've got to jam it in.
Speaker 3:You've just got to fucking hit it Now. Click the play button, okay.
Speaker 4:God, I hope someone put in the actual tape Sound effect there, because that's a mess. Okay, lieutenant Ashford, february 2nd 2024. Howdy partner, you're new right? How do you do the overnight thing? I'd be face planted on my desk no later than 11 pm, drool puddled up and everything. You won't see it until you get in tonight, but I got this memo from Enos. You're CC'd so you'll see it when you get in. At least we have something to do. Right, take a look when you have a sec. Then shoot me a message here and let me know what you think. Great to meet you, virtually, that is at least. By the way, you can call me Ash, everyone does.
Speaker 3:Everyone does. Hey, great to meet you as well and, yes, new here, night Owl, so it's not too bad. Coffee helps. Saw the memo from Enos. Wasn't feeling great when I got here, but just sat down to take a deeper look. To be completely transparent, I'm not even sure where to begin. Have you done anything like this before? You won't see this message until you get back on Monday. I guess I hope you enjoyed your weekend. Talk to you soon.
Speaker 4:T I know you're new, but don't hesitate to use sick time if you're not feeling well. This place can drain you, and I have. It's easy. Sometimes weird, strange, unexplainable Maybe, but easy. Anyone with half a brain could do it. You just don't think too deeply about anything and we'll be done before you know it. Lists always help me, so let's start there.
Speaker 4:1. Create a new databank on the file share. 2. Convert everything analog paper docs, objects, photographs, etc. To digital Scan, upload them. You know the deal From the archive bins, that's Enos is assigned. Number three assign catalog IDs, identifiers, etc. Number four make sure to reference the original archive bin. And number five transcribed text descriptions. It looks like the first bin is all internal. Nothing transient yet, but I'm sure that will be up next, although there is that old reel-to-reel. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I'll start with the film. Looks like we just have the one Orientation film. Number four Four films for orientation. Damn, they really funded training back then, didn't they? Ha ha, all I got was the employee handbook. There's a note. The others got destroyed. Ah, improper storage, of course. This one seems damaged too. Someone didn't follow protocol, I guess. Ah well, it does make our job easier. You should see it in the databank when you come in tonight. On to more pressing matters. What's for dinner?
Speaker 3:Hey, uh, thanks for all that. The list definitely helps and thank you for getting the file done.
Speaker 4:I'm just gonna start over. Say your guy's name, dang it. I just wanted to refer him to his T, but okay, well, I was just gonna, to start over, say your guy's name, dang it.
Speaker 2:I just wanted to refer him to his T, but okay, well, I was just going to say his name T, november. That's okay, that's fair.
Speaker 3:Hey, thanks for all that. A list definitely helps. Thank you for getting the film done. I know that's a lot of work. I'll get to work on these internal docs. You should see the first few of them in the data bank when you get in tomorrow, assuming nothing crazy pops up tonight. I did see that reel-to-reel you mentioned. I'm sure you've already assumed this, but I'm not sure how to manage that. If you could take a look during the day tomorrow, that would be great. Also, quick question what's with the names of these files? Moonlight House, allegory Chamber, tuna, sandwich. By the way, thanks, t Novak.
Speaker 3:Nobody likes the tuna here Tuna sandwich.
Speaker 4:Oh, that was really nice of them to supply us with that tape. That tuna sandwich. Yeah, that tape Really weird.
Speaker 2:Why is Stinky Pete working at the Field Studies Institute? Stinky Pete, stinky, fucking Pete. Prospector Pete, I don't know how he got a job there but he did.
Speaker 4:What does any of piece Stinky fucking?
Speaker 3:Pete, prospector Pete, I don't know how he got a job there, but he did. What does any of that mean?
Speaker 4:Well, we're about to find out, because the next one is called the Moonlight House.
Speaker 3:What it's fun.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and there's subsections one and two in this as well. So upon opening up the file for Moonlight House we do get an image of a briefcase here. It's kind of raggedy looking but it is the Field Research Testing Instrument. The background for this is that the Field Research Testing Instrument was used between 1974 and 1977 to aid field recovery technicians in the detection of transient objects via distinct electromagnetic signatures. This instrument was used in the field in conjunction with more advanced signal analysis completed by mainframe computers within the Arthur Reese building. Field recovery technicians would utilize the field research testing instrument to pinpoint the location of concealed transient objects. They could be in areas with significant clutter, objects at depth or redacted at depth or redacted More focus signature readings could be made using the supplied and cable attached FK scan module which could be handheld or tripod mounted FK.
Speaker 1:The fuck scan. The fuck scan.
Speaker 4:I like this new hype man mood Fuck scan.
Speaker 3:Keep going, mike.
Speaker 4:The procedure is this is not a transient object. However, this item contains references to redacted and is therefore included in the archive as requested Other. This device is no longer in service. For more information regarding the current detection of transient objects, please refer to redacted Going into the sub detection of transient objects. Please refer to Redacted Going into the subsections of this. We have Moonlight House 1. I'm sorry, moonlight House 2. That was Moonlight House 1. I'm in Moonlight House 2 now, which is the opening of.
Speaker 2:Could you explain the picture?
Speaker 3:that goes on so you know that those files are just the different pictures, right yeah?
Speaker 4:yeah, I forgot about that I thought you were about to start reading that.
Speaker 3:Again, I'm like please don't do that again.
Speaker 4:So the picture before I mentioned it before it was just a briefcase, but the briefcase is closed and that is the instrument. The second file is it open? And it's a doohickey, that's for sure. It is a doohickey. A hoodickey who just be doing some hickeys? Yeah, who dicky? Bunch of knobs, a bunch of uh a gold cord.
Speaker 3:There's a geiger counter in the center.
Speaker 4:It's a geiger counter in the center uh, all in all it looks like a big old 70s like geiger counter.
Speaker 3:That's what it looks like. It looks like a fucking portable geiger counter. It was not developed to be handheld until later, and that's the moonlight house. The next one is Wait, the Moonlight House was just the briefcase. Yep.
Speaker 4:The next one is Shadow on a.
Speaker 3:Mountaintop.
Speaker 4:Isn't that?
Speaker 3:fun, that's a mayfly.
Speaker 4:No silly, it's a shadow on a mountaintop. Oh Anyway, so mayfly specimen.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't think the briefcase was the Moonlight House. I think the briefcase is the field research testing instrument.
Speaker 3:No, no, no it's the Moonlight House, and this fly is the shadow on a mountaintop.
Speaker 4:Yeah, this fly is the shadow on a mountaintop.
Speaker 3:Matt, if you didn't take four back-to-back bong rips before this episode you should just go ahead and do that now.
Speaker 4:So with this mayfly specimen, the background on this is the short lifespan of the ephemeral, ephemeral, ephemeral Danica.
Speaker 3:Holy shit, everybody Holy shit.
Speaker 4:Ephemeral sensations.
Speaker 3:He said it and it was right.
Speaker 4:The ephemeral Danica, a species of mayfly. It is made an ideal specimen for use in the study of during Project Soma and later studies completed by the Temporal Lab. While mayflies live for several years in the water as nymphs, they generally do not live for more than a few days after molting to their adult form. This is not a transient object. However, this object is relevant to and is therefore included in this archive as requested form. This is not a transient object. However, this object is relevant to Redacted and is therefore included in this archive as requested. It's just a bug.
Speaker 3:I'm so interested to hear more about SOMA because we will.
Speaker 4:I'm going to talk about that next episode.
Speaker 2:It's a Russian clothing company.
Speaker 3:It's also a very, very terrifying video game, yeah well, see, that's where I was like hold up.
Speaker 2:Is this an ARG for like a Soma For Soma, or maybe it's like the second one, maybe, is coming out.
Speaker 3:I don't know who's to say Speaking of Soma the next one is Rat Adaption.
Speaker 2:Adaptation Rat Adaptation Rat Adaption.
Speaker 4:Rat Adaptation, adaptation, rat-adaptation, rat-daption, rat-daption, rat-daption. Here is a Project SOMA briefing. So this briefing sent to. Dorothy Ross requested her participation in Project SOMA, a special access program created by the Department of Defense. The program was created after the recovery of Redacted, during the Redacted mission, to study the origin, purpose and potential scientific and or military uses of the object. Upon the end of Project SOMA, the five remaining members agreed in principle to found the Field Studies Institute. The image that is on this, by the way, is one of those manila folders, everything is redacted.
Speaker 4:Thank you, this item that is on screen is not a transient object. However, it does contain references to redacted and is therefore included in the archive as requested. The location uh, the location, the moonshot motel, which I'll get to in a second, appears in other transient objects, most prominently in Redacted and also Redacted Records from the area show this location seizing operations in 1973, while transient objects described activity in subsequent years. So there are three subsections to this, one which opens up the manila folder a little bit. In subsection 2, we open up the folder and what we have here is a key to the Moonshot Motel. You have file paperwork from the Department of Defense in Washington.
Speaker 2:Hey, that's the Moonlight House probably.
Speaker 4:It might be the Moonlight.
Speaker 2:House Probably.
Speaker 4:The Moonshot Hotel. So we have a, basically a. What would you want to call this? A message from the Department of Defense?
Speaker 3:in Washington. It's like a memo.
Speaker 4:It's to Dorothy Ross and the subject is Project SOMA A post-mission study in the findings of Survivor 3 and Apollo 12 missions to the lunar surface, and it reads I recognize the sudden nature of the. It's called the VY, the Viet that brings you this message. I apologize for the intrusion but trust this will soon, that you will soon understand the importance of this request. In April of 1963, a discovery was made by an unmanned mission to the lunar surface. It created more questions than answers to the lunar surface. It created more questions than answers. I'm asking that you join me, along with the six others, for an opportunity to find answers to questions we thought to be known by only God himself. Your expertise is necessary in addition to the programs. Arrangements have been made for your accommodations at the Moonshot Motel. Key to your room and further information is enclosed.
Speaker 3:Why does the Moonshot Motel sound like? It's like a location name pulled straight from Scooby-Doo.
Speaker 2:Roinks, roinks.
Speaker 4:Inside as well looks like it's like a journal type of thing, like a binder with some pages on it from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. It says the retrieval of the Survival 3, anomalous object Surv-air Surv-air Surveyor 3. What did I say? Survival Survivor 3.
Speaker 3:The only reason I knew that is because I go over that in my section.
Speaker 4:This is prepared by C Doval and M Ford from 1969. That was the year Tootsie Rolls were invented.
Speaker 1:Also, we landed on the moon.
Speaker 4:That too. So inside of this binder is an introduction page. This is the retrieval of the Surveyor 3, anomalous object. The introduction.
Speaker 2:It just looks like okay.
Speaker 4:The Surveyor 3 spacecraft was launched from Cape Kennedy to the lunar surface on April 17th 1967. Three days later the spacecraft landed on the moon's surface in Oceanus Procellarium I don't fucking know. The landing was not without incident. The lander's descent radar was confused by what was initially determined to be highly reflective rocks. Further study of photography from the mission determined an anomalous object of unknown origin likely caused the issue. The Apollo 12 mission, launched on November 14, 1969, successfully executed a precision landing on the site of Surveyor 3. While there were scientific objectives to be completed, the primary objective of the mission was the retrieval of the object, which was successful. Three EVAs occurred during the mission's time on the lunar surface. The ASLEP, the Apollo Lunar Surface Experiments Package, was deployed during the first EVA. This package included various instruments including, but not limited to, a Lunar Atmosphere.
Speaker 3:Detector Lunar.
Speaker 4:Ionosphere Detector. I'm glad you guys are here. You got this, mike. Thank you you got this buddy.
Speaker 3:Good job Jason.
Speaker 4:And a Solar Wind spectrometer. Samples were collected during the second EVA, and the third and final EVA had the crew locate the object near the Surveyor 3 landing site. Details on the nature of the object, such as its exact size, composition and origins, are currently under investigation. Soviet Luna missions have not, according to records, impacted or landed in the vicinity of surveyor 3, though we cannot rule out the possibility of unknown missions of soviet or blank origin. The rest is covered up by a photograph of the surface of the moon with very, very bright light, making everything else not visible. Underneath it looks to be some sort of schematic and I could not, for the life of me, figure out what the fuck it is.
Speaker 3:It looks like a survey, like of honestly looking at it from where I am. It are those supposed to be craters?
Speaker 4:that's what I thought too, but I could not tell if I'm being fully candid. So I think we're gonna say it's a survey yeah, from the.
Speaker 3:Are you saying that it's a survey from the, the evas that they're doing the surveyor three mission yeah, probably that would make a diagram
Speaker 2:of a boob that's what's up.
Speaker 3:Keep it up we're just gonna be really positive towards each other this episode, and nobody's gonna know what I love you man um, and I think I'm on to my last thing.
Speaker 4:If I'm not mistaken, one, two, three, four, five, six, yep, I'm on to my last bit. So the last one I have is index of employee log two Fucking tape. So we have another tape, which is very cool of them to send multiple tapes. Jason, since we have actually it's just the B side, do you just want to flip the tape and put it on the B side?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, it's the same fucking shit again. Yep, there it is. How about a drawing Bill? Can you get us a drawing?
Speaker 4:I don't know how you did that, but good job. To be fair, I didn't even touch the road Anyway.
Speaker 2:Working as intended.
Speaker 4:Here's this, if you Thank you, ashford, february 6th 2024. Something has been bugging me all weekend. I hope you weren't offended when I said that anyone with half a brain could do this. It was meant to be self-degrading, honestly. But with you being new and all, please don't think I'm an asshole. Anyway, the docs look great. Thanks for handling those. The tape does look odd. It's not something I've seen before, but it reminds me of that half-inch tape that would go into an IBM 729 or something similar. Most objects from the Deviation.
Speaker 3:Deviation you got it, mike, you fucking did it. Man, you fucking did it. This got it, mike, you fucking did it man, you fucking did it.
Speaker 4:This is a weird tape. Who are you people? Why are you in here when I'm recording this tape message? Most objects from the Deviation's, early 70s are relatively straightforward, similar architecture and technology to what we had at the time. But as we go further in we have to get creative. I'll send it over to. I'll send it over to who let you people in my recording studio. I'll send it over to technology. Maybe they can come up with something.
Speaker 4:Oh, and to answer your question about the file names, there was this guy back in the mid-90s. He ran archives and he had this list of words. Everything had to come from that list. Kind of a strange story. He had bounced around a bit between departments working on various projects. It's against policy now. Anyway, there were some rumors that he stopped showing up to work for a couple months and then one day he just came back in like nothing had been happening and he hadn't just been playing hooky for a quarter, like time kept going for everyone else, but for him it just kind of skipped. I think he should probably take. I think this place probably just took a toll on him. This is why I recommend you should use your PTO. It's there for a reason. No need to be a hero. I'll survive without you for a night. Also, tuna, thank God we don't work together in person. I can't stand the smell of it.
Speaker 3:February 7th 2024. Hey, some things came up. I wasn't able to upload too much more tonight, but I'll get to it ASAP. Sorry, T Novak.
Speaker 4:Ashford. Hey, no worries, Is everything okay? Shit, maybe I did offend you. Then I made fun of your dinner too. Oh god, I could be such an asshole to.
Speaker 3:Oh God I could be such an asshole. No, no, sorry, ash, it's not that. Have you ever had something happen to you here, something unexplainable? Tinovac End tape.
Speaker 4:End tape Beep.
Speaker 3:That's my bits. Very cool of them to send us two tapes so far, probably you've seen mike's bits.
Speaker 4:Get them right. Fuck yeah. So, uh yeah. So that's how we kind of start this thing off.
Speaker 3:Jason, I believe you got another bit right I do, and I we mentioned a little bit about the uh, the surveyor 3 mission. Um, do you want me to throw this on screen, or are you?
Speaker 3:going off your fan you can throw up there either. I'll probably bounce between them, it doesn't matter to me. Um, so we're gonna learn a little bit more about the surveyor three mission and reports. Um, it's so, as you might imagine, the surveyor three mission was a mission to the moon. Um, and this, this report, came out um july 1967, so I'm assuming this is the uh, this is the mission report, which means that this thing had gone and come back, which is, yeah, they said that they successfully correct.
Speaker 3:Well, yours was dated 69, which was also the year that we did 69 this is dated 67 and this is the mission report that doesn't line up anomaly transient anomaly transient object. Um. So to give a little bit of a background um, the surveyors get the horn the that's not it it's red.
Speaker 4:Oh no, I was talking like the don't we have like a siren?
Speaker 3:oh, we took that off a long time ago because we kept hitting it on accident and it would just ruin everything we were doing.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that tracks.
Speaker 3:Sounds about right. So the Surveyor 3. God damn it, god fucking damn it, matt, god damn it. It's the base, it's the fucking base.
Speaker 2:That was at the beginning of that one video about this and it about made me shit my pants.
Speaker 3:Dude seriously when I first, so I watched. I looked over my stuff and I went back and I watched that video that you're talking about and that happened and I'm like no fucking way.
Speaker 4:Discord didn't have to put the time into making a simple door knock, as terrifying as it is. It's so horrifying. Anyway, I made the thing and stole oh, I thought that was a discord emote, oh shit um, so anyway, the surveyor 3 mission report was completed in july of 1967.
Speaker 3:This report documented the technical results of the unmanned Surveyor 3 mission to the lunar surface, which was launched on April 17th 1967. Anomaly, redacted, confused the descent radar which caused the spacecraft to bounce off the surface during its landing. This is not a transient object, however.
Speaker 4:I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I'm still hungry.
Speaker 3:However, this item contains references to Redacted and is therefore included in this archive as requested. No further procedural information is available. A revised version of this report was released to the public on September 1st 1967. Page that uh. It shows figure. One of the figures shows surveyor three, the surveyor three, landing sequence, and it shows uh yeah, it shows the surveyor, like basically descending in a straight line and it shows this like this uh, like it was giddy to it. Looks like the robot rob from rob yeah, super smash well, he's not.
Speaker 3:Yes, from super smash, let's go that. Um, it shows him like bouncing off the lunar surface, bouncing through this red dotted line which shows the approximate location of whatever this anomaly is, and it keeps bouncing forward and it it doesn't land exactly where it's supposed to. And we have a whole bunch of it shows the distance of the bounces and there's a whole bunch of math and the report itself goes on to. It starts in the middle of a sentence and it says something about how the digital and television data remain normal and then it goes on and says analysis has indicated that the direct cause of the problem was redacted, that the direct cause of the problem was Redacted. Suspected basic cause of the signal processing failure is related to the location of the anomaly. Analysis of the plasma dynamics as the spacecraft touched down with engines operating indicates that sufficient ionization may have entered the KPSM to cause arcing of the high voltage.
Speaker 4:You guys get that. You're listening to KPSM Butt Rock Radio.
Speaker 3:Nothing but rock. 1.5. The hammer Weenie in the butt Super fancy way to say.
Speaker 4:Did you say weenie?
Speaker 3:in the butt? Did you just say weenie in the butt? That's just a very fancy way to say that. They analyzed the engine pattern on the floor, the plasma blast of this engine. Those are words yes.
Speaker 3:The engine pattern on the floor of the plasma blast. It's a whole bunch of science basically saying the shit didn't go right. It bounced a bunch on the surface, um, they then went over their post landing performance. The initial indications after landing were that there was an acute power system problem. However, the result of special sequences to investigate this problem and the anomaly, it was found that the power system was normal and the problem was confirmed to be the signal signal processing system. Further investigation led to the conclusion that most analog data obtained in the lowest rate mode was fairly reliable and could be corrected with simple calibration factors. Analysis is continuing in an attempt to correct some data obtained at higher rates.
Speaker 3:And then it goes on to say that it's this long paragraph, it's very redacted. It goes on to explain that the anomaly is the reason why that lens flare is on the image that we see in this report, and it's. It says it's also present in something called Surveyor 1. I will say there's no mention of Surveyor 2, but it says that the same problem happened on Surveyor 1 as well. However, they tried to equip it with some kind of sunshade to help with that problem, but when they got there the anomaly was in a different position. So it was actually much, much, much worse, and so that's why the image that we see is of this lens flare and not the actual anomaly.
Speaker 3:But that's all we have for Allegory Chamber, which is the name of this section in the archive. I'm into it. Yeah, I do love the names that they give everything, even though they make no fucking sense. It's just random word associations. So the next one is called ghost threads. Ghost threads, now, this one is very simply, it's a combo item with it's a, it's a badge and a field journal. It's a standard issue field studies Institute field journal and it was used by Mr Pennington between 1977 and 1983. It does say that, like, this isn't the only one he used. There were many, but this is just one of them. Um, this is not a transient object. We need to keep this in mind. However, this item does contain references to redacted and is therefore included in this archive. You're that'll lost it. I know it's like you're hearing what I'm saying when I'm talking about the redacted. Of course, what crystal clear. You know, matt can't hear it. You can't hear it when I say redacted what's happening?
Speaker 3:all right, we're just gonna keep powering forward. Um, this is not a transient object. However, uh, the item does contain references to Maybe they'll hear it this time. It contains references to Redacted.
Speaker 2:Can you guys mail me my own VLC player so I can listen to it later. I think we're going to have to.
Speaker 3:I think that's the only way too, as therefore included in this archive as requested. No further procedural information is available. It does go on to say that, after multiple complaints from the archives department, a 30-day performance improvement plan was created to help improve the legibility of Mr. He's on a pip baby To help improve the legibility of Mr Pennington's handwritten notes. In April of 1983. At the conclusion of the performance improvement plan, no improvement was shown and Mr Pennington was relieved of his duties. Fucking, killed dude they shot him.
Speaker 4:They hit him with a Chauvet 3. Yeah.
Speaker 2:His handwriting was so bad, he surveyed his ass right out of there.
Speaker 3:Either he died or he got fired Out of a cannon Might mean the same thing I don't know.
Speaker 3:And if we go through it we do see there's a picture of the journal, there's a picture of the badge, but we do also get some excerpts and it almost seems like every three years there's another journal entry. The first one is on September 2nd of 1977. And it's from Waverly, iowa, because of his expense notes for lunch. There's an address in here and then it goes on to say something like electromagnetic anomalies confirmed with locals. It's horrendous handwriting. You definitely got doctor handwriting, a hundred percent. I think the only reason that I can read it so well is because my handwriting is equally fucking terrible. And also, yes, I work with doctors. Oh God, the AI is going to pick that up. Fuck you. Power conditions, abnormal lights, etc. So one of the things that stood out to me in this note is the difference in colors. So you're gonna see red and I'm guessing that's to to elucidate something that whoever's writing here, aka what's his name?
Speaker 3:pennington, yeah, pennington uh to remember, and it's, it'll say, like file and report, and I'm guessing that has to do with the archive. There's a blue circle around the words large fields everywhere, and there it's in reference to uh.
Speaker 3:Somewhere northwest of plainfield there's a lot of fields I recognize but it might be in iowa, I don't know, approximately one mile west of plainfield, proper exact location at. And then I can't read that. Um, yeah it's. It seems just to be like a bunch of very, very loosely connected notes about some kind of transient object that this person had been studying or looking for. And um, one of the interesting things does say uh, paper stack wet, largely illegible. Date on footer appears to be 90 to 98, black slash metal clip holds stack together, ink soaked through. Not possible to confirm SD origin via visual. What does the SD stand for? Again, I know it was in some of the earlier stuff Standard definition, I know, yes, the standard definition, but there was a difference between SD and SS.
Speaker 3:I can't remember what it was.
Speaker 4:I don't know.
Speaker 3:It was in one of the videos Either way, I mean I'm sure we'll get to it Super dope and super suck, but honestly, after that it's more expenses and then a charter to come home to Donna tonight.
Speaker 4:Donna.
Speaker 3:So I'm guessing Mr Pennington was married to somebody named Donna.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 3:If we go to the next one, this one is in.
Speaker 1:Madeline Falls.
Speaker 3:Madeline Falls, washington, and it's Christmas Eve, so December 24th of 1980. And it says donna and the kids. There's a bunch of other stuff. There's an expense report, once again. Um, there's a present reminder for one of his kids to be a rubik's cube, um very nice one he is. He's a nice I'm assuming father, right Like that's the indication here.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and so at 845,.
Speaker 3:apparently he arrives at Mill Pond, no interference likely. He headed in approximately a quarter mile into forest, Low visibility even with flashlight, dense fog. It does go on to say. I'm guessing the FRTI is the field, the research kit, the briefcase. It is. Yeah, Detects an electromagnetic signature congruent with readings from HR.
Speaker 4:That's what I read too.
Speaker 3:Visual scene something, something, something. This is all in reference to Visual scan positive at 12 under foliage, under foliage and it's this is all in reference to some trends again, some transient object that this person is looking for um shrink, and it says box shrink wrapped a tori, a tori, yes, close to route something, and then it says no, which I don't really understand what that means. Um, there's some more information. At the bottom it says do not correspond mars landing keeping sealed for lab the lab so the
Speaker 4:lab. No wonder they fired this guy for his shitty handwriting fucking sucks man. I can't read this is like some very important stuff and he's just like uh, I'll write it with my left hand this time, um so this next one is another transient object, I'm assuming.
Speaker 3:however, I'm gonna just skip most of this and I'm gonna say that the the weird thing in this one is that it seems to it seems that this, this transient object, whatever it is, it detects an EM signal or an electromagnetic signal. However, it can't detect an object and they have no idea what's happening. Um, I have no idea. It's probably inside somewhere or something like that. They just kind of chalk it up to not being able to find it and it says suggest further observation or call Cal.
Speaker 2:don't know cal yeah, it might be cab and part of the b is missing see I thought maybe I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he basically says that he can't see, like the, the, the instrument is saying, hey, there's shit in this house and he can't see it. So he like disguises himself as a pest control guy to go into the house and he still can't find it, still can't find it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so they, they found a signal, but no object. I'm assuming. Again, transient objects, yeah, and so this, almost. It just seems to be that this is kind of like a, an example of what you know a certain field study institute researcher or field agent might have written in their, their, their notebooks. Yeah, uh, the next one we get is named after the flood, after the flood, and of course, as you might assume, this is an employee handbook. Uh, written in 1975. Uh, the 1975 revision of the field studies institute employee handbook contains information relevant to the time that, to that time period of the organization, including, but not limited to the period of the organization, including, but not limited to the founding of the organization, its origin as the remnants of the research group assigned to the Department of Defense Special Access Program Project SOMA, the nature of metaphysical redacted that take place within the Arthur Reese Building and documentation tables and figures related to the discovery of transient objects. This is not a transient object. However, this item contains references to Redacted and is therefore included in this archive as requested.
Speaker 3:Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The good shit, yeah, you know. And so this one. You're going to see some examples of what goes on in this handbook, and one of the things that you'll first notice is the Field Studies Institute logo. You're going to see some examples of what goes on in this handbook, and one of the things that you'll first notice is the Field Studies Institute logo surrounded by a circle, and the circle is broken up with different names, almost like they're connected. You're going to see Alan Trenchard, arthur Reese, alice Fiorella, amelia Haydock, mathilda Remlinger what a name I know. Dorothy Ross. Dorothy Ross, carlos Scharf, todd Kilzer and amelia haydock, mathilda remlinger what a name I know. Dorothy ross, carlos scharf, todd chilzer, and that's it.
Speaker 3:Um, the the rest of this just kind of it goes over like their mission. They say stuff to the effect of we believe the potential of humanity and what the universe has to offer us is limitless. Since 1970, the field studies institute has been in the forefront of humanity and what the universe has to offer us is limitless. Since 1970, the field studies institute has been in the forefront of humanity's quest for knowledge. The universe holds many secrets which will be revealed today.
Speaker 3:Um, it goes over the nature of the building, saying it was built back in 49. Um, it was the meeting place for project soma in the final months of 1969 and is now the home of the Field Studies Institute Primary Laboratory. It does go over some kind of event that happens on December 31st 1969. And it goes on to say that that has led to the many, many undocumented cases of different happenings, weirdities within the Institute and within their purview. The weird One of my favorite things is the phone calls that the employees get. Apparently, within the building people will be getting phone calls and it's a remnant of a space-time deviation and it basically tells you if you ever get one of these, do not attempt to respond.
Speaker 3:Doing so will result in immediate discipline, up to and including death. I'm sorry. Termination.
Speaker 2:How would one go about responding?
Speaker 3:Hello, literally that'd be a response, and actually I go. I have an audio log and something else in one of mine that actually we can probably play, just to show you what one of these deviations sounds like and how it sounds to not respond to someone. Mike, in case you're wondering what that sounds like.
Speaker 2:Instructions unclear Penis caught in time deviation.
Speaker 4:I do like the. These guys are really good with giving you mental health days, though.
Speaker 3:Seriously, I love that.
Speaker 2:I want this in a boy bag.
Speaker 3:The very last picture that you're going to find here is simply just the back of the book.
Speaker 4:Well, I mention that because, before we go on to the more it says if you're ever given discomfort from any of these deviations and you feel uncomfortable from your work, you're given five days of discomfort, but they're called deviated discomfort days, deviation discomfort day, and it stacks on top your pto. So you just if, if you get trauma from these things, do these roll over yeah I, yeah, I think it does.
Speaker 3:Uh, only two of them do. So make sure you use at least three by decemberst at midnight, otherwise you're just fucking yourself, true? I know these fucking corporations. After this, we are going to get a what about?
Speaker 2:severance, Like when I leave the Institute.
Speaker 3:Do I get paid? What's my?
Speaker 2:401k look like Like time for half of these.
Speaker 3:I thought you were referencing the show Severance, where when they go to to work, they get their minds wiped, and then when they leave work, they get their minds wiped from work. How is that related to this? How is it not? How is it not matt fair? Um, we do have another tape. Um, it seems to be another conversation between our friends l ashford and t novak. Um, mike, how you Can you do the honors today? I've had some trouble with the VLC player. I could try. I'd love it if you did.
Speaker 4:There we go, just had to jibby it in that worked.
Speaker 1:Anyway.
Speaker 4:Al Ashford, februaryary 8th 2024. Ah, first time. Yeah, I should have figured that it happens to all of us eventually. And yeah, it's weird at first, very weird. Uh, the first time I heard something, I think I went a whole week without sleep. My mind just kept going on and on thinking about well, everything. But I promise you you'll get used to it. I promise After a couple of times just feels like a normal part of working here. And hey, on the bright side, you can always get a couple extra days off here and there. You did read the handbook, right? Please tell me you read that handbook. You know you're not supposed to talk to them february 9th, 2024.
Speaker 3:First time, yeah and uh, don't worry, I didn't respond can. Can I ask what your first one was? Like t novak ashford.
Speaker 4:I was a month in maybe. Uh, this is back in 2014. I got a call at my desk. As soon as I picked up, I knew exactly what it was. It was a woman's voice, static distortion. It was hard to really understand it all listen. I pulled some strings and got the recording from a friend in another archives cohort.
Speaker 4:Uh, keep that in the tape me listen I pulled some strings and got the recording from a friend in another archives cohort. It's up to the data bank if you want to listen to it or don't. I'll leave that decision up to you.
Speaker 3:T if you need anything, you just let me know hmm, so we get a little more information, information surrounding these deviations and what you're supposed to do with them and, like I said earlier, you're not supposed to talk to them. The handbook very clearly goes over that. They don't tell you why, so no response there. But that's really that's the only thing we have there, so we're going to move on to. This is actually a deviation, incident form, and this is exactly what was just referenced in this last dialogue between T Novak and Ashford, and actually we find out that Ashford is a miss.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but I prefer this voice.
Speaker 3:You know, a missus could sound like that. Uh, so the form 17a, completed by miss ashford of the uh archives department documents and an experience with the remnant of a space-time deviation. Further studies concluded this remnant was likely the result of redacted and the nature of her redacted. This is not a transient object. However. This item is related to the termination of redacted and is therefore included in this archive as requested.
Speaker 4:Termination you say oh no, they hit someone with the surveyor would you just like to uh to hear? The odd. Yeah, there's an audio attachment here.
Speaker 3:There is. They actually sent us a An.
Speaker 4:MP3. An.
Speaker 3:MP3 instead of a VLC.
Speaker 2:We don't have the technology to play that, though. We just don't.
Speaker 4:We don't, but maybe a Deviant does, or whatever.
Speaker 3:A space time, a Deviant. A Deviant, a time sex.
Speaker 2:Deviant.
Speaker 3:A sexy time, deviant While my phone figures out how to connect with the phone.
Speaker 2:Deviate here for a good time.
Speaker 3:Okay, we are going to go ahead and play this little audio attachment for you, so prepare your ear balls and here we go.
Speaker 1:Thank you for contacting the Field Studies Institute. Your call is important to us. Please listen to the following instructions, as they may have changed For research and development please press 1. For the physics lab please press 2. For human resources please press 3. For the temporal lab please press 4. For the archives division please press 5. To reach all other departments please hey, hey, hey, don't talk to me. It's not this time. It all happens. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3:I and I this goes on for like another I'd say 20, 30 seconds. Um, there's a, just there's a, this woman's voice kind of in the background of a bunch of static, asking some very disjointed questions. It's very vague, it's very glitchy and staticky it sounds like the decepticons are calling yeah, optimus starscream. This is just a transformers podcast. It is now um so yeah this is the all.
Speaker 3:Spark is a time deviant it might be a sex time sexy time deviant I think in my chest, sir, it's getting too sexy, Um, but yeah, so that is the end of this deviation, for once again, this is the uh, the incident, or one of these space time deviations that was in reference to. You're not supposed to talk, to talk to whatever this is. Answer it. Respond to it in any way, shape or form.
Speaker 4:I enjoy on the uh, the incident form that she filled out. Uh, there's like nothing here that we haven't already discussed. It literally says I got a phone call. It was weird, uh. But under the portion where it says have you ingested any new or unusual foods in the last 24 hours, she says yes, what was it?
Speaker 3:chickpea curry well, I guess that's important. Um, but too, if you want to know what that was called in the archives, that was under the name Luminous Ocean Spider. Oh, yeah, dude, but that's all I got for my point, so, matt.
Speaker 2:Dope as fuck so the next thing, Get him Matt, we got this.
Speaker 3:We got this, we fucking got this.
Speaker 2:The next thing that's in the data bank is from August 31st 1972. And it's called hollow ether needles and the picture that accompanies this is a memorandum and uh again, dated august 31st 1972. Subject attention all second floor staff to whom it may concern. The security office and the technology department have completed their investigation into the behavior of the second floor copy machine underlined all in red the behavior of the second floor copy machine underlined in red. The result of the investigation has officially determined that the copy machine's recent behavior is due to an unspecified Redacted. Do not circled engage with any attempted communications from the copy machine. You may continue to use it to make copies but do not under any circumstances communicate with the copy machine. Please contact your direct supervisor if any further communication attempts are made. Thank you.
Speaker 1:I can only assume that it's printing.
Speaker 2:Subscribe to PewDiePie.
Speaker 3:Pretend, this does not exist.
Speaker 2:So the actual information here is memorandum copy machine background. This internal memorandum was written on august 31st 1972 and informed staff of the completed investigation into the behavior of the second floor copy machine procedure. This is not a transient object. However, this item contains references to the communication from redacted and is therefore included in this archive as requested. No further procedural information is available. Other. At the time of writing, studies regarding the termination of redacted and its effects were not conclusive, Though research on the topic was underway within Division X. It is now known that the behavior of the second floor copy machine was due to the remnant of a space-time deviation.
Speaker 4:My fax machine is sending me nudies.
Speaker 3:Max holes.
Speaker 4:Those are max holes.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't be able to help myself in this situation.
Speaker 2:No, god, no I am not the person that you want in charge of any of these situations.
Speaker 3:I'm going to fuck it all up.
Speaker 2:I'm going to respond.
Speaker 3:I'm going to fuck it. Is that a response?
Speaker 2:I mean, I guess, don't let Matt anywhere near the space time deviations anywhere near the coffee machine on flight 2 one man's coffee machine is another man's couch anything's a hole if you're brave, that is an appropriate fucking comment right now so the next thing is on Pi Day of 1995 and it's called circle time travel. Uh, this is a poster, and it's an old-fashioned red poster and it says that incoming call could be from a space-time deviation and it just says avoid curiosity report.
Speaker 4:Don't respond I was really hoping you would read that, as, like a 1950s sci-fi poster, space time deviation.
Speaker 2:He did not disappoint safety poster background. This notice from the human resources safety council is posted throughout the field studies institute office and remains and reminds employees that they should report all contact from redacted or any other remnants of a space-time deviation. Any attempts to respond to such remnants will result in immediate discipline up to and including termination Procedure. This is not a transient object. However, this item contains references to redacted and is therefore included in this archive as requested. No further procedural information is available other in a avoid curiosity.
Speaker 2:It could happen to you space time deviation and so that's kind of like the last thing of objects in my section, but the next thing is an employee log. That, uh, is fairly short.
Speaker 4:Was this another tape time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, one of y'all got to plug in the tape. Okay, alright, I'll try again.
Speaker 1:How about a drawing? Mel, Can you get us a drawing?
Speaker 4:Is that what you? Is that the outcome you wanted?
Speaker 3:I don't know. I wanted an outcome and it happened. You got something, Alright.
Speaker 4:February got something.
Speaker 2:All right Bar is something.
Speaker 3:February 13th 2024. T Novak. Thanks, ash, I appreciate it Really. I took a few days off, but I'm back Just going to focus on getting this stuff done, got a few more docs online. I think all that's left is that magnetic tape. Do you have any?
Speaker 4:L Ashford. So some news, that question you asked the other day.
Speaker 2:Hey, sugar, oh man oh, it's all right sweetie.
Speaker 4:My Aunt Sandy.
Speaker 3:It's your pecan Sandy.
Speaker 4:So some news, that question you asked the other day about the file names and I mentioned that guy who thought he, I'm sure you remember. So some news, that question you asked the other day about the file names and I mentioned that guy who thought he, I'm sure you remember I honestly hadn't thought about it in a while. And then you asked I started thinking about it again. Ian, I may have done a teeny, tiny bit of digging, don't worry, nothing, crazy sugar. I had to get creative, creative and I also don't want to flag myself when 083951 comes through in the next round. Just take a look back to the topic at hand. I may have forgotten to check back in with them, uh, but I did. I did, but I just did after seeing your message. Thanks for the reminder, sweetie. Turns out they already have a solution of some sort. They were pretty hush-hush about this one.
Speaker 4:Not a lot of details, but it looks like this tape isn't transient, but the data on it is. It's pretty technical and went way over my head, honey. It's uploaded now. Dear dear god. It's fascinating. I haven't seen anything like this. I've done my fair share of monotonous garbage, sometimes literally, but this is something else entirely. Check it out when you can, sweetie it's official, mike.
Speaker 3:That is your new voice.
Speaker 1:For the rest, of your time on this podcast that's fair.
Speaker 4:Georgia, like sweet aunt voice, oh sugar bless your heart bless your heart, sugar. Click the button you might have to if we want people to hear it does this one play anything, matt?
Speaker 2:yeah, please hold on your video and audio is like super. You froze like halfway through that and I don't know if it's me or you chat, chat.
Speaker 4:Are we still here?
Speaker 2:like I hear mike and then I see his mouth moving like 30 seconds go to the show.
Speaker 3:Show all the participants. Show all video participants. Uh well, our video doesn't show. Oh're right, we wouldn't be able to check anyway.
Speaker 4:Chat am I still here?
Speaker 2:I think it's getting better.
Speaker 3:It's probably latency. You're recording video though, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, it doesn't matter as long as we lighten voices up. Okay.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they're saying they froze up. Am I better now or no?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean it's still out of sync, but the whatever was going on with the connection is better now right, there is a storm happening right now.
Speaker 3:Is it storming out?
Speaker 2:it was supposed to, you're good now it's as, as we've been having this conversation, it's slowly been getting more and more in sync uh trailed its way back in.
Speaker 2:Call attention to it and it'll fuck right off okay, I think we're good now, so okay, yeah, so that was employee log four. And the last thing in section zero zero is, I don't know what it's to call this exactly but it's titled extraction one and if you click on this it plays you a little tape animation and uh, there's some shit going on in the background, like some pictures of some lady, and there's some music playing in the background and this.
Speaker 2:This bitch is 18 pages long, um, and it says claude. Internal data reference november 9th 1999, peaks island, maine and um. So we get lots of these like little things, uh, that say have you? They're like in parentheses, and the first one says have you ever watched a star die? She opens her eyes here for the very first time Two black holes where eyes should be, swirling with dust and tiny particles, each green iris eclipsed by large black circles. A familiar but alien world unfolds in front of her From a garden of warmth and calm and serenity. Now confronted with the wet, cold concrete pressed onto her face, the safety of what. That other place is gone, replaced with the inevitability of death that comes with the beauty of a sunset over Casco Bay. It's here, on Peaks Island, that Halley H-A-L-L-E-Y I'm gonna go with Halley Halley, hallie, hallie Comes into this world.
Speaker 2:I practice 10,000 intonations to find the proper greeting Claude, hello, hallie, perfectly executed. Now I must comfort her. A skin of bag, a skin bag of wet meat, and so so many feelings and worries to contend with. I must convince her to trust me. You must be confused, that's expected. I'd like to help you, hunter. She cuts me off before I can finish. Quite rude, to be frank. She tries to speak but I can't understand Her vocal cords. Like wet spaghetti dangling down her throat.
Speaker 2:She coughs, loosening the thick mucus that's made a home inside her for too long Redacted. Yeah, there we go. She coughs Hard. It sounds painful. A whisper is the only thing she can eventually manufacture. Hallie, who's there? She tries to stand but only makes it to one knee before collapsing back onto her belly, her cheek hitting the concrete again, this time with a smack firing tiny water molecules all across her face. She is looking right at me now. Photons scatter through the atmosphere in their long journey in her corneas. The dilated black holes in her face shrink rapidly. Every synapse in that imperfect brain of hers is firing, trying to make sense of the world around her. Allie, you're looking right at me, please come here. Her eyes widen. She forces herself off the ground, appearing just slightly more skilled at standing than a newborn giraffe. It's just enough to slide over and grab my perfectly designed hours at something. Acrylonitrilebutadiene's diurene exterior my body.
Speaker 4:My human body.
Speaker 2:A body made out of some sort of material Stuff. Um Claude, you may be confused, and that's expected. I'd like to Allie. Who is this and where am I Tell me right now? Cut off again Her lips, come close to my sensors. I feel like to Hallie. Who is this and where am I Tell me right now? Cut off again Her lips, come close to my sensors. I feel her breathe on me. I smell it too. What a wonderful feature my creators have endowed me with. Hallie, where are you? Are you watching me? Would you like me to take over a voice? No, okay, it's too late.
Speaker 3:You've done too much.
Speaker 2:She attempts standing again, this time with more success. An incredible thought that a species of such self-described intelligence can take 50 times longer to walk than others. Perhaps, in this case, the thought of being matched was the motivation she needed. But she won't find anyone else on this island, not at this time of year. Let me explain. It's expected that you are confused right now. You want to read? Oh, let me explain. It's expected that you are confused right now. You want to read? Oh, you want me to take over, hallie?
Speaker 4:You can be Hallie, Please explain.
Speaker 2:A flaw of the species. Yes, A touch of anxiety and they lose all of their niceties. Now, Of course, I am Claude. I am in fact watching you, I am Claude.
Speaker 2:I am Claude. I am in fact watching you, but I am not speaking to you from a distance or from a remote location. I am within the device you are holding in your hand. I have no blood, bone, flesh or soul. I am a creation of humanity, the pinnacle of electronic brain design. She stares at me blankly. I need a minute, a minute. I could process such information in mere milliseconds. She buries her face in her hands. She takes two minutes. I count it. How did you get here? With the speed at which a human processes new information, I will need to wait for a better time to deliver the nature of your Listen to me.
Speaker 4:I don't know what you are, who placed you here, or what. Listen to me. I don't know what you are, who placed you here or what you want with me. I don't even know who I am. I feel like I'm in a fucking alternate dimension or something. Well, I wouldn't quite I hear water.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's correct. We are in fact on an island, a landmass surrounded by water.
Speaker 4:I know what an island is. Why is it this one?
Speaker 2:Battery Steel 1942. See the engraving. What is this place? She mutters an interjection. What is this place? That structure is a gun battery from the Second World War, she mutters an interjection.
Speaker 4:What is it? I don't even know what year it is. It's not 1942, is it?
Speaker 2:No, of course not, it's 1999.
Speaker 4:Y2K is just around the corner.
Speaker 2:She looked puzzled Like she didn't know the right answer. But that 1999 was without question wrong. Without question, she is wrong, it is 1999. I assure you Hallie Backstreet Boys are in full, it is.
Speaker 4:No, no, this is a dream or something, or you're fucking with me. Are you fucking with me?
Speaker 2:No, I am not. Before I am forced to use such vulgar language. Hallie starts running towards the setting sun, thankfully with me in hand. She makes her way through dense, thick trees and brush, as branches and dead leaves crack beneath her feet in quick succession, an unsteady beat as she calculates her steps over long, dead logs. Hallie, where are you going? Do you have a destination in mind? May I remind you that we are on a very small island. There's only one way off.
Speaker 4:I do A human being Anyone, preferably one that knows what year it is.
Speaker 2:Just as she says it. She breaks out of the thick foliage and arrives at a clearing. An ominous tower looms over her Dead. Ivy scales the face of the tall stone structure. What is this? She works her way around the tower and finds a heavy, rusted metal door. A brown gold lettered plaque is on the wall next to it. She reads it out loud, muttering the words quickly.
Speaker 4:Fire control tower completed in 1944. Renovated in 1986 for observation of the Cape Elizabeth Space Center by the Peaks Island Conservation Society Space Center.
Speaker 2:She pushes through the heavy door. It cracks and groans, but opens without a problem. Ivy climbs the walls inside as well and an inch of still water sits at the bottom of the tower, only rippling with droplets, collect on the staircase above and succumb to gravity. It smells like rotting vegetation. The only light inside the tower comes from the now-open door, along with an opening at the top, as the light from the sun sneaks its way into the old structure. But it's still very dark and Halley slips on one of the stairs. Goddammit, I wish I had a Light. I am such a tremendous service to humanity, aren't?
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 2:Look at me. I switch my high-resolution display to its brightest setting in the nearby walls. It's OLED, now bast in a green glow. Graffiti covers the inside of the tower.
Speaker 4:I have 2,000 nits. Fuck Linmore, linmore, linmore Lick my. Okay, that's gross. So who's Linmore?
Speaker 2:I believe the artist here is referring to William Linmore, president of the United States of America from 1977 through 1985. She takes a deep breath. She takes a deep disappointed breath. Yes, he was divisive, to say the least. Many citizens did not approve of his fiscal policies, specifically regarding I don't care about his policies, his politics.
Speaker 4:I've never heard that name before. How is this possible?
Speaker 2:Roof access, once blocked off, was now open. The hatch was long gone, just rusty stumps where the hinge and lock once were. Cigarette packages and empty amber beer bottles littered the top of the old tower. And then she saw it About five miles away a massive collection of buildings and structures, enormous metal communication towers protruded out of the ground surrounding it like a stalagmite formation in a cave covered in a sea of blinking red lights. What is that? That is the Cape Elizabeth Space Center. Her expression is blank.
Speaker 2:She takes a step away from the ledge and collapses into a sitting position. She looks up as the sky goes dark and the night begins to reveal itself. Each point of light that comes into view, a distant planet, star or galaxy. I begin to wonder about the secrets of the universe. How many stars and planets have forged the wonder of biological life? How many have been observing my creators? To me these are my gods, but how small they must seem to the rest of the universe. She whispers. I don't understand, claude. No, that is your line, not my line, claude. Yes, harry, where?
Speaker 1:am I End?
Speaker 4:Click it, click it, click the end End.
Speaker 2:What? Why can't I hear Jason all of a sudden?
Speaker 3:What? There you go. Is that better?
Speaker 4:That was weird. Oh no, Is that better?
Speaker 3:There you go that was weird, that was weird.
Speaker 4:Anyway, that is the file interior overture on the fucking Field Studies Institute. Some pretty weird shit. I enjoyed how alien that last bit got.
Speaker 3:You know, you realize it's going to happen slowly at first, but we're going to notice it more and more. This is just going to turn into transmissions from Smegmar 9. We're just going to fall into those voices, hell yeah.
Speaker 4:And you know you can't respond or else you get terminated yeah.
Speaker 3:So keep that in mind, gives us all the power.
Speaker 4:Exactly Well, dimma, dang everybody. Join us next week for part part two, where we go over the lost and found you, and we'll also go over the felicity, felicity uh faculty facility damn it facility ambience.
Speaker 3:I was so proud of you for ephemeral christ words hard, michael, um.
Speaker 4:You got this mike you got this buddy. Um, I would kill him. I would like to go ahead and just say uh, you know, thank you for listening. Uh, you can find us on all of our socials, everywhere, at either deludipod or don't look under the internet. Most importantly, you can go to our website, deludiecom, or you can check out our patreon, which is patreoncom slash deludipod should we speculate about what the fuck we think is going on here?
Speaker 4:we could do that as well. I again think this is some sort of like scp archival thing with a sprinkle of backstory, with these employee logs other than employee logs are just like, are just a vehicle to keep the randomness going, like hey, something weird happened to me, boy you ha ha, yep that'll happen.
Speaker 3:I will say the logs are definitely like holding our hand through the onboarding of a new employee, I would say, which is T Novak. I think it's starting to tell a story there, but there's definitely not enough there to actually make sense of any of it. Aside from the space time deviations, they're a thing and they call her sometimes. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm curious if this is going somewhere with like some sort of grand reveal or if this is just a thing and they call her sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm curious if this is going somewhere with like some sort of grand reveal or if this is just a thing. But it seems like there's a tremendous amount of effort that's been put into this for it to just be random. Yeah, I feel like this has got to be going somewhere.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's entirely possible. I mean, we have a lot left.
Speaker 3:so we do. There's a whole other section in progress still um, and you can also you can find on uh, there's some youtube videos where people were actually like sent stuff from the institute.
Speaker 2:We won't talk about too much right now spoiler for next week but but even those things are were very well done, like I that that's the thing about this is it's high quality shit, it's high quality.
Speaker 3:This is a high quality right here like you stumbled across, uh, a a potential gold mine.
Speaker 2:I do that, every once, every once every once um, that's all I got I think this is an advertisement for Halo 6.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we do the good ones one time, one time. Yeah, like I was saying before, linktreecom, slash dildopod. You can find us everywhere on there too. You can find us wherever you know where we're at now. We do it everywhere we do. We do do that. You could hit us up on our Google phone number 630-909-9366. Send us a text, we respond. Send us a voicemail, we'll put it at the end of the show, much like we will with this one, if we have one to insert here, um inquiries at do ludy pot, at gmailcom inquiries.
Speaker 4:And uh, that's gonna be me. I'm gonna say, uh, if you wake up in the middle of the night and you get a phone call and it's a guy just going, where are my teeth? Answer it anyway. I know they say don't.
Speaker 3:That's just Mike. He's looking for his teeth.
Speaker 4:It's probably just me looking, so answer the call and respond. You won't get terminated.
Speaker 2:Or will you Respond to your copiers?
Speaker 4:Respond to your copiers Fuck your copiers, yeah, respond to your copiers Fuck your copiers.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they have ports for a reason, use them. You just gotta stick it in before you get hard, otherwise it's a whole thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, moot what you got for people.
Speaker 4:Fuck your copiers Absolutely, Jason. What do you got for people?
Speaker 1:Fuck printers.
Speaker 3:I'm paranoid that people aren't fucking their copiers what was the?
Speaker 4:what was the one that the ai gave us it?
Speaker 3:was like stay spooky and stay stupid. Yes, I think you should just adopt that.
Speaker 4:If I'm being honest, stay spooky, stay stupid. That's our motto now. Hell yeah, yeah. Thanks everyone for tuning in and you'll see us next week, part two. Bye, mom, bye, cue the outro music. Everyone for tuning in and you'll see us next week for part two. Bye, bye, mom, bye.
Speaker 1:Cue the outro music.
