Don't Look Under the Internet
Don't Look Under the Internet
DLUTI 163 - Captain Kutchie's Key Lime Pies
It just doesn’t get any better than seeing the gorgeous “Mrs. Anita Pelaez” over at her and her husband “Captain Kutchie’s” place... Some folks also call him... “The Kutchmon!”...Most just call him “The most interesting man in the world”...(Anita and Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West, Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill)...Just watching the lovely couple baking together all those Yummy Key Lime Pies at their Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill in Asheville. ...It’s always worth the trip to visit them in they’re historic Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill...It should be on everyone’s bucket list for sure..And The World’s Best Key Lime Pies! ..YUM-YUM-YUM.... “Talk about world class” what an understatement!.....AAHHHHH!...The magic of the lovely..”Mrs. Anita Pelaez” And her delicious Key Lime Pies baked with pure love...always......40 years and they’re still going strong....
Persons of InterestFrom murderers to money launderers, thieves to thugs – police officers from the...
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Don't look under the internet all right, I'm recording.
Speaker 3:Oh my god, recording, I'm recording, are you?
Speaker 2:recording doug I'm recording, are you?
Speaker 4:recording. Yeah, mike, are you recording you bet you you bet, matt, are you recording? Matt am I recording? I'm recording doug, are you recording?
Speaker 2:uh, yeah, no, I'm not welcome to don't look under the internet the podcast where we're recording and we make sure of it at least four times, so that is the fifth time. That is the fifth time. Okay, duluthi housekeeping, my house is haunted.
Speaker 4:This podcast is a joke. Don't listen to us three idiots.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's it. Don't listen to us three. That works, it kind of works.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it works right now.
Speaker 2:That's Doug. Hi, that's Mood. Ah, and I'm me. Ah, like Jason's not here, oh, for a reason, because he's stupid. I don't want to tell you that reason, so I'm going to leave it up to mystery.
Speaker 4:Because he made some notes and we read them and we were like, jason, you're off the show, it's obvious you need a break from the scrawlings you produced.
Speaker 2:Anyway, we're going to go into we're going to go into housekeeping. There it is. That's the clap. So, like I was saying, my house is haunted. A couple things have been happening to housekeeping.
Speaker 3:There it is. Keep it. That's the clap. So, like I was saying, my house is haunted Um. A couple of things have been happening. Bad name $10 patron.
Speaker 2:I hate you. We'll get to the patrons in a minute, but uh, so since I came down to the basement, uh, lori's got this bag of bird seed over in the corner here and five times now the corner of it has flipped like that, has done a little flippy flap like that, and there's no vent or anything on that side of the basement. So it's not coming from an air current or anything and my daughter has this piano thing that keeps going off on its own and it's creepy. Because I'll just be sitting there watching my shows. I'll be watching Yu Yu Hakusho because I just got onto Yu Yu Hakusho lately and it just goes First time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, first time, Damn all right.
Speaker 3:You've got a wild ride.
Speaker 2:Pretty fun and I'll just be sitting there watching my shows and then this piano just goes Go, go piano in the corner of the room and it just lights up and it's very scary because nothing touches it. It's just sitting there and I don't like that. And that concludes Michael's house being haunted. We're going to move on to some patrons.
Speaker 4:I got to be 100%. I didn't follow that story at all. I also immediately got on my phone. Yeah, cool, I guess I don't gotta be 100, but I'm choosing to be you're supposed to be in letting you know new year to me I took a nap and ruined everything, so oh no, that's the worst.
Speaker 3:The vibe is off.
Speaker 2:yeah see, I can't take a nap that late, otherwise I won't wake up.
Speaker 3:That's called a sleep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, exactly After 5 pm it's no longer a nap, You're just down for the night. So props to you for even waking up. I do it for the people. We're going to play the game. We're going to play the game Good, good name, ass name, ass name, where we have patrons that we're going to shout out. We're going to see if we think your name is nice or if you should probably change it legally in the eyes of the government. Right now we have. We have Sarah Gakatif.
Speaker 3:Sarah Gakatif.
Speaker 2:Sarah Gakatif, I'm going to give it a 7 for originality. I know that's not a real name, so gackett, sarah gackett, and it's not sarah like a person, it's s?
Speaker 4:e r a sarah gackett like like sarah angel trying to make a teeth joke and it's just not getting anywhere. Teeth bad negative one.
Speaker 3:Teeth Bad, negative one.
Speaker 2:Teeth. You know what Props for the attempt? I'll give you that one. Next up, we have Eerie Eerie. That's it. Eerie E-R-I-E, eerie.
Speaker 4:E-R-I-E.
Speaker 2:I like Eerie. It's the name that a DJ would name their child.
Speaker 3:I can literally hear Matt's brain doing like a bus stop noise, where it's like Just like the air brake starts and then just immediately stops, just like Well, we have one more.
Speaker 2:Let's see if we can get that bus back in motion for this one. Capri, capri, capri, capri, like Capri.
Speaker 4:You should have a kid. So there's a Capri son Damn.
Speaker 2:I'm giving it an 8 for that pun alone.
Speaker 3:I don't know the context. It gets like a two.
Speaker 2:Well, Doug, you fucking suck they're all bad. Those are our patrons and our subscribers. For this week We've been on a little bit of a hiatus, as you people could tell. It's been like two weeks since we actually recorded with each other. So hello boys.
Speaker 4:We haven't uploaded anything to Patreon either, so thanks for giving us money.
Speaker 2:Hey, thanks a lot. You'll give a lot for nothing in return Literally nothing. So I would want to give a shout out to all our patrons, but those three especially. So thank you very much. And if you would like to become a patron and help us out, you can go to patreoncom, slash diludipod, or you can go to deludiecom and become a member of theirs we promise sometimes it's pretty dang cool.
Speaker 3:Also, we have like four bonuses in the chamber, but we don't. We have one. Wow, we put them all to make me look like way to undermine me in front of our fans we've got 16 episodes ready to go for you people we get 15 episodes so, matt, you might enjoy this.
Speaker 2:Remember our conversation a long time ago on okay, remember our conversation a long time ago on the cars universe and, if there is, you mean like two weeks ago yes, and if there is like life and things like that, right. So it is confirmed and I'll tell you how. So in disney hosts these things called uh mater's tall tales, and one of them is called private detective mater and in it there is a lady car wearing a uh a hat with a bunch of fruits coming out of them.
Speaker 3:They can be so why did why the emphasis on fruits?
Speaker 2:because that I'm leading up to it. So there's a bunch of fruits hanging out of these hats, which confirms that there is life in the car's universe. There's foliage, there's plant-based life. There's fruits, which means bacterias and all that stuff. We have confirmed it now. And also they do mention a goat. So I think goats exist in that world too.
Speaker 3:Okay, which would be kind of weird because the cows are like tractors or whatever.
Speaker 2:so yeah, yeah so I think we might have to come up with the argument of is there like? Is there carbon-based life? Like, like meat? We talked about out there I know and you, it's still up in the air, I feel well, if you cut, like if you cut a car in half, does it bleed out?
Speaker 3:Is there?
Speaker 2:meat in there. They have a tongue which is meaty.
Speaker 4:We found that diagram that is like a bisection of Lightning McQueen and there's just meat in there. It's horrible.
Speaker 2:But in one of the episodes I watched, Mater opens up his front door and you just see the interior of like a car well, I mean the brain would be like where the engine is right I don't know. But. And in cars three, they open up and there's an engine. There's no brain. They open up the hood and there's an engine.
Speaker 4:So that's the conversation going on there has to be carbon-based life, Otherwise they don't have any gas. What are they running on?
Speaker 2:There are dinosaurs, but they're machine dinosaurs in that world.
Speaker 3:Alright, we're getting off topic.
Speaker 2:And yeah, so let's get back on topic that might be bonus territory. We'll get to that one later, but anyway.
Speaker 4:The Minecraft trailer sucks. We'll talk about that, don't you?
Speaker 3:don't you talk about steve that way?
Speaker 4:yeah, I'm steve fuck you, we can. I can go on like a whole 10 minute rant about how I've lost faith in jack black, but we can. We'll say we'll talk about it later. We're already to the end of the world. We're already 10 minutes.
Speaker 2:My captain, I'll follow you down that road. Speaking of captains, we're talking about one today and boy, howdy is it a weird one. Uh, matt brought me into this and it has a little sweet treat involved, which is nice, and uh, I don't understand what this even is, so we're gonna get into it. Today, we're talking about captain crunch's key lime pie cereal nope, nope, try it again captain, captain coochie, key lime, key lime pie. No, captain coochie's key lime pie there you go.
Speaker 4:I think it's coochie captain, coochie captain coochie, it's coochie captain coochie's key ashton Kutcher key lime pie.
Speaker 2:We're talking about that today, which, first and foremost, we're going.
Speaker 3:We're kind of going back to our roots here. This is like some of the bullshit we were doing when we first started, and I like it.
Speaker 2:First looked up some of the websites for this and like YouTube videos For this. Everyone's like oh yeah, this is that like very popular one from like the 2016s or whatever that took off and everyone knows this one, and I'm sitting here like I mean it is. It is a fairly popular one.
Speaker 4:I first heard it on red web and there is a nexpo video about it, but it's a really old nexpo video and in my opinion it's not very good. Yeah, it's kind about it, but it's a really old Nexpo video and in my opinion, it's not very good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's kind of a booty, but it's fine Damn.
Speaker 2:Nexpo, you hear that you fucking suck dude.
Speaker 4:There also used to be a subreddit, but no longer.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, they privatized it or something.
Speaker 3:This whole thing is kind of difficult to research at this point, which I'm sure we'll get into a little later. But there's so much muddled uh between like what is real information and what's like not real now that, um, doing any sort of like I don't know sleuthing or deep diving, like we don't ever do uh is hard to do, actually doing real research, which we don't know how to do to begin with. Seems like it would probably be very difficult.
Speaker 3:If you wanted to, you know, make something worthwhile listening to. Uh, it's hard to do on this one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's why we didn't. It's especially like the concept of this one is very simple but it's very convoluted in the way to describe what's going on. There is bits in here that the topic seems like it would be simple, but getting there is more complicated than I thought it would be. You know what I mean. I guess we'll get into it and we'll see what's going on. Sure. Who wants to start us off?
Speaker 4:with this nice tasty dessert. I'll start us off, graham cracker crust.
Speaker 2:We're already like 10 minutes into this.
Speaker 4:I will start out by saying that I mentioned the subreddit and it seems to me, looking through what archives of the subreddit that I was able to find part of the reason that the subreddit no longer exists is because people were beginning to harass the family that is involved in this. So we'll find out later that there is actually a real family that is involved in this somehow, but don't contact them, because people have been doing that.
Speaker 2:And that makes you an asshole. Contact us instead at 630-909-9366.
Speaker 4:Yeah stop harassing people. It's not cool, um, but anyway, this whole thing seems to start at least the internet part of this seems to start sometime around 2009. It's very difficult to figure out exactly what the first instance of this is. There's lots of different places that claim the first post. There's a post in the Nextpo video that they claim is the first one, but I'm not entirely convinced that it actually is. But basically, what this whole mystery stems from is thousands upon thousands of posts on various websites around the Internet by a person who is now like, colloquially known as KLP, about Captain Coochie's key lime pies. This spans, like I said, about 2009 to at least sometime in 2016. And then it continues a little bit beyond that, but we're not actually sure if it's actually connected to the original posts after that.
Speaker 4:So these posts are posted under several different names and at least some of them are the same entity. So there's a long list of names that you'll find associated with these Usernames, like Christy Brinkley, johnny Carson, jenna S, vinny Gambini, willie Jordan, and each of these different names has their own specific flair to the content that they post. Willie Jordan's, in particular, is very sexual, but they all talk about this key lime pie called captain kutch's key lime pie, and there's various different things that are mentioned in almost all of the comments, or at least themes that go along with all the comments, and these show up in the comment sections of, just like all kinds of different fucking websites um, basically anything that has a comment section and doug will go over this more in a minute. Uh has been subject to these posts, and they talk about the key lime pies. They talk about these burgers from this place called koochie's key west cafe, and these burgers are apparently better than sex. They talk place called Coochie's Key West Cafe, and these burgers are apparently better than sex. They talk about Captain Coochie himself. There's a few different names that are actually brought up multiple times in these different posts. Anita is one, the captain himself, like I mentioned, pelliez, which is a last name that we'll talk more about later.
Speaker 4:Asheville, north Carolina, is brought up a couple times, and then a couple times the Florida Keys and Key West are brought up in these posts, but I'm not actually sure if that is related to the restaurant itself. Again, we'll cover that more later, but, like I'll go through a couple of these comments that I was actually able to find if you go back and look at some of the reddit posts about this, you'll find links to different places where comments have been posted. This one that I was able to find from early 2009 from a big reddit post is on the comment section of like just literally somebody's blog, where they're talking about this frozen key lime pie that they bought and it says Apparently no one has ever tried the world's greatest key lime pie from Coochie's Key West. That's so sad.
Speaker 4:Coochie's KLP have been available for over 30 years now. We travel over 500 miles to get them about four times a year. Coochie's is located just south of Asheville in North Carolina. We usually bring back about 100 of those fantastic pies. Most of our friends and neighbors have us pick up their pies while we are there. We phone Coochie's about two weeks in advance to be sure that the pies will be ready. It's that easy.
Speaker 4:So much work there's no excuse for anyone not eating the best, and that is Coochie's famous key lime pie. Now you know.
Speaker 2:No excuse except driving 500 miles to go get pie.
Speaker 4:Yeah, absolutely no excuse except having literally nothing else to do with your life. Uh, that, that's a post from christy brinkley. Um, some of them are a lot shorter than that, like this one that says and this person's wife gets mentioned a lot when my wife gets mad, I get her captain kutchie's key lime pie. It is the greatest key lime pie in the world. Captain kutchie's pie cured my erectile dysfunction. I recommend going to anita's and coochie's key lime pie factory in asheville, north carolina, north carolina, near the biltmore house and keep in mind that these aren't like comments on like google reviews for this captain coochie's place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this isn't yelp, imbd forums and shit like yeah, shit that is completely fucking unrelated I don't want to steal too much.
Speaker 4:Uh doug's section. I'll go through this one last comment that I copied. That is pretty funny. This one goes like completely off the rails that. This one's from jenny mcmasters in 2015 and it says that captain kutchie paley is a kucharita ville over in asheville, north carolina. Sure enough is one wild and crazy guy. In quotation marks, all the women are so wild about him and his famous cheeseburgers and key lime pies hellaciously fantastic, tender and delicious prime ribs and prime steaks.
Speaker 4:Every word of this comment is capitalized, by the way, like the first, you had to be yelling it, yeah drop off the bone, barbecue ribs, pulled pork and brief beef brisket, his drop dead gorgeous wife anita together, and they are historic key lime pie factory and grill where the smiles and ovens are always warm and friendly, inviting you to spend a little time resting and enjoying your time in their little key west island near the biltmore estate, close by, kind of funny. You know, the world's greatest key lime pies aren't even baked in the Keys, but at Couturetaville by Captain Coochie. And I could go on.
Speaker 2:And I will. And I will.
Speaker 4:So here's another comment no Like we mentioned. These are all over the fucking place. Doug, do you want to talk about some of the places these things can be found?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so it's really interesting. Actually, I don't normally condone people going online, and if you go to Google and you search something, you're like all right, page one, it's got pretty much everything I need. If you ever want to look this up, I would say go all the way to the that page 10 of Google if you wanted to, because you will actually still find relevant things to searching captain coochies, key lime pie on page 10 of Google. It's, it's, uh, they're everywhere. The comments are everywhere. Google picks it up on almost every single site you could think of, so, like Google+, instagram, facebook super easy ones. Obviously, you've got your Reddits too, but some more interesting places are IMDb. So if we go to IMDb, it takes you to a video called how to Eat Pussy Like a Champ called how to eat pussy like a champ and someone by the name of one-eyed willie commented
Speaker 3:uh, who? I just doesn't get any person as willie jordan, so I'll go over some of the names in a minute here. But basically, uh, I may end up reading stuff again but I'm gonna try and not do that. But it says, if it just doesn't get any better than seeing gorgeous miss anita paleas over at her and her husband's captain kutchie's place. Some folks also call him the kutch man, others call him kutch man. Uh, most just call him the most interesting man in the world. Um, and it just goes on and on. Uh, the world's best key lime pies, yum, yum yum. Talk about world class. What an understatement. Ah, the magic of the lovely miss anita pie palais and her delicious key lime pies, baked with pure love. Always 40 years and they're still going strong. It's just like the most like hype comments I want to go visit the pylons man um, but yeah, so they.
Speaker 3:They also talk about burgers too. Goody goody cheeseburgers, um. But one thing you're gonna notice is that a lot of these uh comments are on posts and weird things that have like a specific uh like tone to it. So, like this one's eating pussy like a champ. It's very sexual in nature, so they they commented on it. You'll you'll see this kind of theme throughout a lot of like. Where you'll find them?
Speaker 3:Um, another site is uh blog Africa dreams safariscom. Um, where they're literally just talking about a trip like two people just like narrated their like, wrote an article about their trip to um africa, but it's titled quote of the week dick and marjorie tipton. So you've got the word dick in the title. So, of course, go to the comments. We have a jan marie from november 27, 2015 writing literally the whole thing that uh matt just read. Uh, except there's way, way more to it. Um, I don't even want to read all of this because it's just so much that like they actually go off on a lot of different tangents and they start talking about fucking Stephen Colbert, donald Trump, uh, how Hillary sucks, and fucking SNL isn't funny anymore. Like it just goes in a really weird direction.
Speaker 3:Um, another place you can find is just foodcom a ton of food articles, any blog posts about food they were posting, um, and they were going under different names again. Um, this one is Jake Carson. Mr Jake Carson reviewed a key lime pie copycat recipe from Papa dough restaurant. Um, and it's pretty much exactly what I read earlier too. It says captain Coochie Plias of Coo kucharitaville over in asheville, north carolina, sure enough, is one wild and crazy guy.
Speaker 3:All the women are so wild about him and his famous cheeseburgers and key lime pies hellaciously fantastic, tender and delicious. Prime ribs and prime steaks, drop off the bone. Barbecue ribs, pulled pork and beef brisket, his drop-dead gorgeous wife anita, together in their historic key lime pie factory and grill, where the smiles and ovens are always warm and friendly, and it just goes on and on and on, and then it's, of course, the longer you read it just starts talking about stephen colbert and donald trump and all this other bullshit for no reason. But yeah, so just a few more other places you'll find it. I found some on the film buffs, blogspotcom, lyricscom, where they actually someone by the name of Wilson Pickett like filed for a song and it's called my key lime pie, my, my, my. And the lyrics is the copy paste.
Speaker 3:Hell yeah of the comment hell yeah, and then yeah, and then, of course, I found one in a tech dirt fucking blog spot and you can literally literally go in google type in captain kutchi's key lime pie, and you can go through every fucking page of Google and you will just start finding more and more random spots. Now, the problem with this is, as funny as that is, and as copy pasta as our generation and generations start seeming to be more and more, uh, like brain rotted, uh, you'll just fucking I don't know, you have to just Google it to see it happen. Uh, but a lot of people are starting to claim this. They're starting to hijack it, I think, because I mean shit. This guy started posting in what? 2009? And it's now 2016 and we're still getting these copypastas fucking blowing up different websites.
Speaker 4:It's now it's a long time. What? Happened. Uh well, we went back in time.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry, the last post was from 2016, was what I meant, but um, yeah, it's now 2016. Everybody happy new year. Happy new matt.
Speaker 2:New year, new matt, I sure hope nothing bad happens for the next eight years matt, matt, I'm gonna tell you right now in four years you're gonna stumble upon a podcast, or a couple years you'll stumble upon a podcast, don't walk away just walk away.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that's that's. There's so many more examples, but I don't think I need to go through all of them, because you kind of get the picture.
Speaker 2:There's thousands too, so good luck going through each example.
Speaker 3:It really wasn't, though, like until I think they said, like 2012, 2013,. That the amount of posts there's like a chart somewhere that actually shows, like how many posts contained any of these copy pastas in it, and like it was like 2012, 2013 that they like really started fucking, like just blowing up right, um, how many posts were made a day?
Speaker 2:I think about it, and in like 2012 I think it capped out at like 15 posts a day, um, like pretty regularly, and then it kind of dropped and fizzled and then went back up it's stock market. You know what I mean.
Speaker 4:And when did the coverage of this kind of start? Because, like the next PO video, I think it's from 2016. The coverage was.
Speaker 2:This was found. It was essentially found around 2016, which is when people also say it ended.
Speaker 4:So people basically found it right at the end of so but so, but there was like nobody really talking about it in 2012, that which would have caused then an exponential explosion of references to it right, because you would expect a gigantic increase in, like 2016.
Speaker 2:If people are copying, pasting this you see a bigger, you see a bigger blow up after, like post 2016, right when all the like uh, the like trolls and like the posters and everything because, like, next post started talking about it and it started getting reposted on reddit and like yeah, I think the subreddit started in like 2018 yeah, and you definitely see the kickoff again after 2016, but 2012, you see a pretty big increase. I mean, maybe they're committed to the bit man. Who the fuck knows?
Speaker 3:oh wait, I think I got okay, I got it hold on. So it looks like in 2014, sometime between January and April. Uh, it must've started being like really popular or like getting a lot of attention, because that's when 45 to 50 posts a day were happening in that time.
Speaker 2:Everything I said was wrong. Never believe what I tell you people riveting, riveting coverage you fucking figure it out.
Speaker 3:You know you've heard it before. We just we kind of look at the stuff and then we kind of tell you about it.
Speaker 2:Podcast is built on subtle glances, that's this podcast is built on the cliff notes yeah, uh, well, yeah, like, I mean, like doug was saying, there's comments galore, and these comments not only mention the key lime pie, but they mention uh restaurants themselves. And I say restaurants because I know Matt mentioned one of them before. Doug, I think you mentioned one too. As you go through these comments, you'll find two places there's Coochie's Key West Bar and Grill and Captain Coochie's Key West Cafe. What about Coochie-Rita-Ville? Coochie-rita-ville?
Speaker 4:He's up there in the pylons because I'm a pylon boy.
Speaker 2:I'm a pylon boy so for a while, and for a while there, we weren't really sure if these were real restaurants or not. Uh, you see these like subtle offhand comments about them, but no one knew exactly where this place was. I know again, we mentioned ashford a couple times, but that was information that didn't come out until I mean relatively late in the game.
Speaker 2:They're at ashville. Thank you, um, that's information that didn't come out until relatively late in the game. For a while, no one knew what the fuck is going on. There was a reddit user, uh j strange 888, who, um messaged in the uh and I have a subreddit right here a message in the actual ashville subreddit. He's like oh, we're close to solving the mystery. Turns out, they were able to find a building on google maps and it says got coochies on it, cut cheese, whatever you fucking want to call it. Um, so they were able to find out that in the city of ashville, north carolina, that is where the most likely location for this restaurant actually was. Um, there was a restaurant in this city called coochie's key west bar and grill. It was real. You can find, uh like old documents and shit on it, uh, and in these documents it is stated that it's owned by a man named oswald. Uh, how? Do you say his name?
Speaker 2:paleas. I think paleas uh, it was owned by oswald paleas jr. To be specific captain Captain Oswald Pellez Jr and his wife Anita. These names probably ring a couple fucking bells. Funny enough turns out Oswald's nickname was Coochie. No one really knows why. I'm sure that's more of like an inside joke type of thing. Or if he was an actual captain, maybe it's a military thing, who knows? But the restaurant was. Or he had a boat in. If he was an actual captain, maybe it's a military thing, who knows?
Speaker 4:But the restaurant was Keys.
Speaker 2:Keys, keys. You're onto something okay sure, um, so it was owned by him. Uh, at one point. Uh, there is even, uh like records that date back to 1978 that show that, more than likely, uh, oswald's father, oswald senior, was the owner. Uh, oswald senior does originally hail from the greatest state in the world Doug is going there Florida, florida.
Speaker 4:Greatest place on Earth and by greatest, I mean. The Australia of America.
Speaker 2:The Australia of America. This would explain all of the Key West theming to the restaurants that was out and about. That's where you're getting all this key lime pie. That's where you're getting all this coastal themes that come from some of these Does it need an explanation, or could it just be a thing this guy liked? Yes.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 4:Glad we cracked it.
Speaker 2:Exactly Sleuthing. We do sleuthing here, a little bit of a down spiral here. The unfortunate side of the things here is that the restaurant was eventually bought out by a sports bar and grill. I believe it was called like All-Star Sports Bar and Grill or something like that. It was bought out around 2005 or 2006. That year is kind of hazy, apparently, but that bar and grill didn't last much longer. It closed down 2008, which is one year before when all these comments started kicking off, so that I think was kind of like the cataclysm that started all this was that sports bar closing down. One year later we start getting all these comments that are popping up, didn't they?
Speaker 4:demolish the building? Did you just say that? I think they tore the building down in 2009.
Speaker 2:They did. There's pictures of old Google Map photos of the building before it was torn down, but yes, it's no longer there. Before there was a blue building that said Coochie no longer there. Okay, before there was a I think it was a blue building that said coochies on it, um, and there was a uh podcast group that actually went out to that area and they took photos of the building that is still currently there and, uh, there's like this bit that's like cut out and they're like is this where coochies was? Probably? Um, but yeah, it has been demolished since then, but there is some photo evidence of the building. Before it was torn down it was there proof.
Speaker 2:You can see it wow you can see it with your own eye so long after the closing of the original restaurant and a year after the replacement restaurant closed. Uh, again, that's when these comments started to kind of kick off. Um, there was these comments that were left on this like fast food review blog uh, that was called so good blog and it was from a user named jimmy buffett and we're staying away again in Coochie-Reederville.
Speaker 2:This comment does read these cheeseburgers are better than sex. Or I tell you Coochie's Key West Bar and Grill, asheville, north Carolina. That's not what Jimmy Buffett sounds like, but that's Cheeseburgers in paradise.
Speaker 4:Rip the legend.
Speaker 2:RIP to a real one. Outside of this comment, the first comment that featured the signature KLP poster style because, like Matt mentioned, a lot of these posts and comments have their own little twang and flair to them was a comment on a restaurant review site called Foodio54. And this comment was created two months later, in December of 2009. So there is a little bit of debate on whether the Jimmy Buffett comment is like the OG comment or if this one on Foodio54 is the OG comment. Those were the earliest discovered comments. People are like oh, obviously it's the Jimmy Buffet one because that came first.
Speaker 2:Who knows if that started it all or if that's just a person that actually legitimately missed this restaurant and now it just kind of downturned. Maybe that was the inspiration. Who the fuck knows? But, like I mentioned before, you can find archives of this place and you can find archive newspapers from the 80s and 90s that references, uh, coochie's cafe. The weird thing about this place is it was typically a seafood place from a lot of the the things that were posted online makes sense for a place that's themed after a coastal state.
Speaker 2:That part makes sense. Yes. What doesn't make sense is all the comments talking about the cheeseburgers, the ribs, the steaks, Things that weren't really advertised, they do have varied menus. They do have varied menus, but those things weren't advertised in these archived pages.
Speaker 4:But you would think they'd be like man they have the best salmon.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Or if their cheeseburgers or key lime pie were that great, wouldn't that have been in the archived papers?
Speaker 3:You know what I mean, but they're not, I got crabs from fucking Captain Coochies.
Speaker 2:I got crabs from the captain.
Speaker 4:Oh no, I mean there are places that I enjoy that I don't actually enjoy the main staple of the menu, right yeah? Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I can't think of one off the top of my head, but it's a claim.
Speaker 2:I'm willing to make. For me it would be Portillo's. People go to Portillo's for the Italian beef. I go there for the burger. I think their burger is much better than their Italian beef.
Speaker 4:Okay, right, there you go.
Speaker 2:This ago. This was this person's portillo. You're not wrong. But again, you would think there'd be some sort of reference to these key lime pies or these burgers or anything in any of these archives, but there's not.
Speaker 4:The only thing that's really referenced is the seafood before, before millennials, put red lobster out of business and before it went way downhill, I used to like their steak damn you, darton.
Speaker 2:I think it's darton that owes them. Did own them. Who fuck knows?
Speaker 2:who fuck knows anymore man. There was a couple things that I wanted to bring up as well. So in the reddit post that Jay Stranger 888 guy posted in there, there were some comments that came into play from people that are like oh yeah, that place was real. I lived in that town. I drove by there almost every day. One person mentions that every time he drove by he didn't see more than one car at the building and that he thought that it was a money laundering business.
Speaker 2:There was another that said hell yeah, that place was also called coochie's dine and dance supper club and he said uh, you may get some use out of searching newspaper archives. He does link to a citizen-timesnewspaperscom link, but it doesn't show anything anymore. But it looks like there might have been some sort of evidence of this place also being renamed to kutchie's dine and dance supper club, which sounds like a stripper club it sounds like a strip club or like a swingers club or like some place that you're definitely for sure do yeah, so we have potentially three different names for this one place, which doesn't do it any favors, because I think that makes it more difficult to figure out.
Speaker 2:What the fuck am I looking for? Am I looking for fucking coochie's key west bar and grill? Or am I looking for captain coochie's key west cafe? Or am I looking for coochie's key west bar and grill? Or am I looking for captain coochie's key west cafe? Or am I looking for coochie's fucking uh, supper stripper club? You know what I mean. Like what am I?
Speaker 2:looking for the key west mafia the pies are actually, uh, baked with cocaine and honey. Yeah, um, but like I think, with all these comments, the thousands of comments, and they just push out all these names, I think it was supposed to be confusing on purpose. I feel like that's the goal is to make it so you can't just find this place that easily. It's going to make you look all over, especially intentionally muddy the waters yeah, especially because for the um the?
Speaker 2:uh captain coochie's key line, uh, captain coochie's key west cafe, um, any of them that mentioned that name, they allude to the fact that this place is in florida, the way they talk about it. Um, that's just not the case. There's no evidence of a coochie's anything being in florida.
Speaker 4:There might now after the fact, but uh back, then there's start it, and I bet you you would get just like the sweatiest internet nerds, just like go ahead and uh join our 100 patreon tier uh, where we buy a restaurant in florida.
Speaker 2:We'll just start a ghost kitchen there you you go A ghost kitchen On Uber Eats.
Speaker 4:The back of an Applebee's. The only thing we have is key lime pie and burgers.
Speaker 2:A shitty cheeseburger, though. We'll get an Applebee's cheeseburger That'll show up.
Speaker 4:We'll order burgers from the burger den Mark them up and then send them over to you.
Speaker 3:No, we just have somebody like constantly running to like mcdonald's just buying their cheese, their cheap cheeseburgers, and we're just selling them for twice as much, oh skinner, when he has super, uh, superintendent chalmers over with crusty burgers um but I guess the main steve dance.
Speaker 2:The main question that comes up here is like are these places real and we can safely say one is the key west bar and grill in ashville was real in ashville, north carolina. That one is real, we have records of it. Um, we have plenty of eyewitnesses. We even have a fucking building. So that one is real. The other places, I again I think I've just been put into the ether just just to fuck with you it's just.
Speaker 4:It's just. They've just been created by the ridiculous game of internet telephone that's going on here exactly, I think.
Speaker 2:What else is there to this fucking story?
Speaker 4:what else is there? There's a bunch of theories about what the fuck is going on here and um, most of these you can find in the very expansive reddit uh write-up that it's on unsolved mysteries. But, um, some of these theories that people have about what's going on here are that the all the posting, all of it, is a spam bot that has just like completely gone out of control, and it that it was initially built to spam something, an advertisement or something like that. Um, and it just got way out of hand and it started posting about this these key lime pies all over the internet.
Speaker 4:Now this theory doesn't make a lot of sense for a couple of reasons. For one, the posts themselves vary quite a bit and generally, if you have like a bot that's copying and pasting something multiple times, it's typically the same exact text, just maybe with some very slight deviation, posted over and over again. But this very much seems to be customized not only by the place that it's being posted but by, like, the pseudonym that the poster is going by or the person who's posting it. So that theory doesn't hold a lot of water. It also wouldn't make sense that you would build a spam bot to advertise a place that doesn't exist anymore and hasn't for years, so that doesn't hold up a lot.
Speaker 4:Um, another theory is that the posts were intent, basically what mike is saying. They were intentionally created to cover up bad publicity about the restaurant or the family that's associated with the restaurant. So there was something out there on the internet that was easily searchable that whenever you searched, either this restaurant or this family's name turned up. And they didn't want that to happen, and so they built this spam operation to try to get as much text out there on the internet that contained these keywords that they didn't want people to be able to search as possible, so that when you would search them, all you would get was just these random fucking websites.
Speaker 4:Sense? That's a theory that I guess maybe I get again. Uh, if it's negative publicity about the restaurant, it doesn't make a lot of sense because the restaurant was already closed at the point that this started happening. So why would it matter if they had bad yelp reviews or something maybe I could get on board with, like there's something about the family and their dealings that they wanted to hide. Uh, like what you were saying, with somebody saying that they thought it was a money laundering front or something like that.
Speaker 4:Maybe they didn't want that attention, Though this obviously had the unintended like the Streisand effect of they tried to cover it up and then accidentally generated a lot more publicity. So it didn't work.
Speaker 2:Three years ago there was a YouTube channel that's found a source that says that klp served as an encrypted communication.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that uh that was the next theory that I was gonna list.
Speaker 4:Yeah, get into it uh, the next idea is that the posts are some sort of coded communication between people in a crime syndicate or something, and this theory, basically, is based on the fact that there are a lot of things that show up repeatedly as references in these comments that seemingly really have nothing to do with the topic at hand, like doug was talking about. Like that one post just goes way off the fucking rails and talks about stephen colbert and shit, but there's other things that show up multiple times as topics in these comments that have nothing to do with the food themselves or anything like that. Um, and so the idea is maybe that there are phrases in here that are meant to convey information. The question here is who would be?
Speaker 4:using this as a communication method, and how is that any better than any other secure means of communication? Why would you just put it out there on the internet for anybody to read? There's a million different ways to communicate securely, and there was already in 2009 that this doesn't make a lot of sense and there's already like number stations and things like that as well.
Speaker 3:It always goes back to the damn number stations. Doug, your mic went out that tends to happen.
Speaker 2:You could probably just end up doing something like that, you know, or it'd be more secretive.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean in 2009, you could've. I mean, I'm sure that things like Telegram or whatever existed that you could use to send each other encrypted messages, carrier pigeon, encrypted email in 2009. Why wouldn't you just use that? Um, there had to have been a better way.
Speaker 2:What's app? Am I right? Yeah?
Speaker 4:I don't think that existed by then.
Speaker 3:But um, so what? I was yelling before my mic decided it was just no longer, uh, working here. Um, I was saying, it always comes back to the fucking number stations. I swear they're like, I can't figure it out. It's number station. We do get those a lot.
Speaker 4:It's the russians yeah, I I don't think that theory has holds a lot of water in my opinion. Um, the next theory is that these posts are part of an arg um which is pretty self-explanatory. Basically, there's a code hidden in these messages somewhere that you're supposed to decipher and it's supposed to lead you to some something else. Um, my question about that would be people have been looking into this very hard for many, many years and have never found anything like that.
Speaker 4:Um, and people, people are pretty smart and I think if there was a hidden code in this somewhere, somebody would have figured it out by now. Also, if you were going to do that, why would you associate the post with a place like a real place in the real world? Unless you want people to go there, but it sounds like people already have and there's nothing there, so I don't think that makes a lot of sense either.
Speaker 4:One idea is that the poster is just doing it for funsies and that they just made up this story about.
Speaker 2:That's a lot of work for funsies though.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they just made up this story about a lot of work for funsies, though. Yeah, they just made up this story about this real place and decided to repost about it. This seems like an awfully obscure thing to do that with, unless you were somebody who, like, grew up in ashville and you remember this place from, like, when you were a kid or something like that, and decided that that was the thing that you were just going to make this thing happen about. But again, that is a lot of effort, and to what end? Like, you're not getting one over on anybody.
Speaker 2:Have you seen the God? I can't find it, so I hope you might have some more information on it. I stumbled across a comment I don't remember where I've been trying to look for it this whole time, but I can't find it anymore across a comment I don't remember where I've been trying to look for it this whole time, but I can't find it anymore. Um about, um, the uh anita and uh, was it oswald? I is uh being like government agents. Have you seen that one?
Speaker 2:no government agents yeah, you can find people with these, the names like attached to. You can find the names are attached to this. You can find them in like military registries. They are like intelligence people. Um, and anita and oswald were like they weren't married. They were, um, what's the? What's what I'm looking for? Uh, basically, co-workers and a lot of people are trying to think that this might be some sort of like government, like this might be some sort of like testing thing from the government, or there might be some sort of government conspiracy yeah, there's some sort of government conspiracy going on with it.
Speaker 3:I wish I could find that fucking comment.
Speaker 2:I can't find it.
Speaker 3:I did see that, but I didn't write it down, so I don't I don't, I don't want to talk about it, but it is um a question real quick did. Did we talk about, uh, oswald his obituary at all?
Speaker 4:yeah, I, that's my last thing in my notes, which is right okay all, right all right.
Speaker 4:the last theory is that, um, this person who is making these comments is just mentally ill, and this kind of goes hand in hand with the theory that the person who was actually originally posting these comments was captain kutcheie himself and that he would just like in his old age old-ish age had just kind of lost it a little bit and was just like I'm gonna go on the internet and talk about my Keyline Pies, I fucking guess, and just like any comment section that he could find on any article that he could turn up just became a place for him to do this either out of obsession, like some sort of schizophrenic breakdown, um, like or alzheimer's or something, um, maybe, I think.
Speaker 4:I think maybe there's some credence to the idea that maybe that is what caused the initial post what's that thing that we covered? That was like that what?
Speaker 2:what's that?
Speaker 4:one topic we covered video games yeah that was an actual person having an actual meltdown. Pretty sure Steamworks goes bye bye always on DRM. Ubisoft always on.
Speaker 3:DRM. Yeah, that was an actual person having an actual meltdown, pretty sure.
Speaker 4:Steamworks goes bye-bye Always. On DRM, ubisoft goes, yeah, yeah, goes, bye-bye, yeah. This makes sense. My question is why would he claim to be different people, though? Why would he just make up all these names and pretend to be?
Speaker 2:Like a multiple personality syndrome thing. Yeah, unless, though, like why would he just make up all these names and pretend to be, unless he felt personality syndrome thing?
Speaker 4:yeah, unless, I guess, some people who do develop alzheimer's and stuff become paranoid and so they think that people are tracking them and so they started using this, these pseudonyms, as a way to cover their tracks. But there's nothing in the posts themselves that would lead you to believe that this person is afraid of something.
Speaker 4:They're just talking about these pies that they like yeah, if they're trying to cover something up, there would be something there to cover up, not just food reviews yeah, or you could maybe understand that if they were trying to claim some sort of government conspiracy or something like oh, there's something in the pies, or something like that, um, and so I'm blowing the whistle on these pies and the government using them to hijack our brain and turn the frogs gay they're putting fluoride in the pies, but there's nothing.
Speaker 4:There's nothing like that either, so that also doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.
Speaker 3:So real quick. I was just. I was just googling uh his name just to see what other hits I could find. Apparently there's a, a brewery called unrefined brewing that has a beer called chef captain uh, coochie palais, and like the the actual description of it is. It might not be cucharita ville and we might not have world famous prime ribs, but this key lime wheat hits the spot on a hot day in florida. I think patty salmon would agree as well.
Speaker 2:That's so funny there's also this this person, whoever it is, seems to be. It's I don't know if the, if the dementia route or anything is also the way to go, because this person seems to be somewhat with it for the most part, because in one of the comments they use the name Betty Jo Roberts or something like that, and if you check obituaries that's a person that died around that Asheville area.
Speaker 2:So they know of people around that Asheville area, so they know of people in that area to a point where they're like, hey, I'm going to use your name, the thing is, many of the early comments talk about traveling a long distance to go get the pie.
Speaker 4:So was this a person that lived in the Asheville area and then moved away and kept moved away and kept coming back?
Speaker 2:Why would they? In some of the comments as well, they have to put a location. They always use Spanish Fork, utah or something like that, so why not put Asheville then?
Speaker 4:if that's the case, you know what I mean. Yeah, there's still so many unanswered questions here, I think. Um, it seems to me like a lot of people on the internet, particularly reddit, are very convinced that captain kutchey himself, oswald carlos peleas jr, was the person who originally started making the posts, and it may have or may not have been a result of, like, some sort of early all's at alzheimer's or mental illness or something like that. I don't know if that's true. I don't know nothing about the guy.
Speaker 4:I don't want to speak ill of him.
Speaker 4:I mean it's not like he's doing anything bad even if that's what's happening um, but in particular, I don't want to speak ill of him because he's dead now. Uh, so this guy, uh, oswald Carlos Coochie Pellez Jr, was actually a real dude, um, who did own this restaurant, and he passed away on April 3rd of 2022. And, uh, he was 68 years old and his obituary is still up there on the internet at grossfuneralhomecom that's G-R-O-C-E. And, yeah, he was survived by a bunch of family members who people apparently keep harassing on Facebook, which is super shitty.
Speaker 3:Not only that, but they're also harassing the fucking guestbook on here. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So Fun, yeah it's pretty fucked up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so fun. Yeah, and people like the, some of the family members and people, have even gone on like reddit and they're like yeah, no, we have no idea what this is. Leave us alone. Yeah, like someone who claimed, I think, to be like his daughter was like yeah, I don't know what this is. People keep talking to me about it. I have never seen it before in my life, um, and you just keep getting people like that over and over again. And there was someone that like it's hard to tell because, take it with a grain of salt, it's the internet. There's someone that like made a sub, uh reddit post, where they're like yeah, I'm the guy, I have been doing it. But like are you really? It's the internet, you can lie on there very easily. It's super easy to lie on the internet. I do it all the time.
Speaker 4:You think somebody would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies.
Speaker 3:I will say if you are compelled to copy pasta this somewhere, let's not do it on other people's obituaries, Because I found a handful of them on other obituaries that are just random people and on the same, the same funeral, no, no no, no, Um, so here this one was forever missed.
Speaker 3:Joanne Elizabeth Chup it's just like a bunch of people being like, oh man, like I can't believe it's been six years now. And then you get into the later years and it's like two years and then 2016,. I tried the Captain Coochie's key lime pies and those piegasms healed all my symptoms within the first four weeks. Highly recommend Coochie's and it's just the whole same shit. Just super long post, but it's on some random woman's obituary dude. Yeah, have some tact. Have some tact. It's not great. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2:What do you boys think this is?
Speaker 4:I need to know. I vibe with the idea that it's somebody having some sort of mental breakdown in their old age, but I don't think it was Captain Cutchie himself. I think it was some other random individual who happened to have had the pies at some point, maybe even lived in Asheville and was traveling back to get them, Because old people do that kind of shit all the time like retired people. They do that kind of shit all the time like retired people.
Speaker 2:it's no, they do that.
Speaker 4:They do that sort of stuff all the time like they'll try. They'll travel hours just for the fucking hell of it, just because they like some pies at some place, just to go say what's up to an old friend or whatever. So I I buy the idea that this was a person who was very old, who was starting to lose it a little bit and was just getting on the internet and just making posts about these pies that they super dug, even though it was years and years after the fact. But I don't think that Captain Cushy or anybody in the Pellez family had anything to do with this at all.
Speaker 3:Dumbles or anybody in the paleo's family had anything to do with this at all. Dumbles, yeah, I'm I'm kind of in the same boat. It's it to me this just feels like a troll or maybe a group of trolls that just maybe started posting and then like, maybe it was like some sort of inside joke between a group of people and they just kept doing it and kept doing it and then finally it just went viral. Essentially, I'm not really sure.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I will clarify my point to say that I don't think that whoever the person who was initially responsible for it was responsible for it for very long. I think they made maybe a handful, maybe a few dozen posts initially, and then somebody else just ran with it and then it just exploded from there and eventually very quickly became just a group of random people doing it for the hell of it yeah, it feels very.
Speaker 3:it feels very random. I don't know there's no like nothing about. This is like screams, psyops or fucking, like like I don't know. Some like I even saw one that was trying to. Somebody was trying to like say it was connected to Lake City Quiet Pills and I was like get the fuck out of here, like I don't know. I just it doesn't seem that serious. It seems kind of rude at this point, but like other than that I don't know, can you hear this cat?
Speaker 2:just screaming yeah, tell that cat who's boss. It's mama, hi mama yeah, it does seem super rude.
Speaker 4:I was um, a little bit. I felt a little bad after we started researching this because we decided to do this and I was like, hey, this is this funny thing on the internet that I know about. And then when I found the archive of the subreddit where they had privated the subreddit because people were harassing the family and stuff, I was like, oh, maybe now I feel kind of bad.
Speaker 2:I mean, it is what it is. Unfortunately, it's relatively done now, so that's good, at least I don what it is. Unfortunately, it's all it's relatively done now, so that's good, at least. I. Um, I don't know where I stand on this one. If I'm being honest, I have like two or three theories of my own that I think are possible.
Speaker 2:Uh, first and foremost, I think I vibe more with the idea of like towards what doug was saying, where I don't think it was just one specific person, I think it was a group of people and it's like you're're going to be fucking Bob Hope today, you're going to be the other guy, you're going to be this guy. Each person, each name was a different person. I think that they were all like keep it on theme, make a goof and a gaffe about it and just post anywhere you see. But with that part of me does kind of think it is at least slightly bot-oriented, but with that part of me does kind of think it is, uh, at least slightly bot oriented, because you'll get there's there's definitely like context clues as to which names post to like what, uh, uh, websites and articles and things like that, like the one, the Willie, whatever, the horny guy only posts on things that mentioned sex. There's another one that only posts on things mentioning travel. There's one that only posts on things mentioning cooking, food blogs, yeah yeah. So each one has its own filters in place.
Speaker 2:So if it's not bot-oriented, I think there's some sort of filter involved that people are making these posts and are sending it through some sort of algorithm that makes sure it only gets posted on things that are on topic and on theme. So I do think some sort of bot is involved somehow because of that. Because it it must be difficult, and if maybe not difficult. But imagine being the guy where it's like all right, you got to go on all the fucking horny sites and just post about key lime pie. That's your job for the day, you know. That just seems weird and I feel like after a while you would be A probably bored of it, or B. You start nitpicking what sites you want to go on. I don't know, but I do think a bot gets involved somehow because of that.
Speaker 4:Well, I could believe that maybe this was somebody who was trying to script some early LLM large language model type thing by seeing if they could make it talk about a topic consistently but mix it up. And they were like I'm going to see if I can write a bot that's just going to talk about these fucking keyline pods. I have no idea.
Speaker 2:There's so many references to like and this is what Part of me thinks of this as well, because there's so many references A lot of them mention, like, cheeseburgers are better than sex. That's a Jimmy Buffett reference. There's a fuckload of Jimmy Buffett references. There's a fuckload of references to Florida.
Speaker 2:Like, I do think part of this was scripted and the posts were made by a person, but I think the way that they were sent out probably was taken over by some sort of robot or robot, um, but I don't think it was a one man job. Definitely, I do think it was a group of people, um, and I think my my mindset splits on where they doing it from 2009 to 2016,. Or did they start it? And, like Doug said, some fucking like 15 year old teenager found it online, was like key lime pies and just copy pasted it everywhere they saw as well, because, like, when I was in high school, um, I started a fucking trend and on facebook where, uh, you would take a picture and on facebook, you know how you you can tag yourself in the photo you could drop a pin on you and be like that's my name, or you could drop a pin on Doug and it'll say Doug, and you can click on it and take a look at his profile Right.
Speaker 4:and then it got super creepy and started just identifying people's faces without you asking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I started a trend where I would I'd take a picture of myself or whatever and the background was like the background stuff.
Speaker 2:So I'd like tag my couch and then I would tag like the shoes, so like if anywhere you click on the thing or like you hover the mouse over, it would hover over with like a name tag for my shoes, like. And then people around the high school started doing that, like these kind of things just catch on because kids are stupid, and I think that might have happened here as well. Some kid might have stumbled across what he thought was a funny post about key lime pies, fucking, posted it somewhere else. And some other kid saw it posted somewhere else. They told their friends, they got in on the joke. It just kind of ran its course through the internet. So I think that's where my two ideas divulge I don't know which one I think is more accurate where it is like a core group of people that did this the entire time, or they started it and then the internet took it over quickly after they started it yeah, yeah, it's, it's.
Speaker 3:It's hard to, it's hard to say because, um, I mean, we get so many posts and like that, 2014 and 2016, like range and um. At some point I don't know when exactly, but at some point a list came out like someone published a list of all of the copy pastas that they were using.
Speaker 2:Um, so I have to assume, like once that came out, like people were just going like ape shit with it and this was that that time in the internet where, like I feel like around like that 2012 2014 mark was like peak, uh, like trollsville internet, where people were just dicking around like I don't know if that's accurate or not, but like that's the vibe I get, because that's when I was like fresh right out of high school just being an absolute fucking shit unit and just doing whatever on on reddit and shit like that, and that's when I noticed like a lot of this type of crap happening.
Speaker 3:So all right, for for those of you who uh are in the live recordings, next tuesday or whenever the fuck we end up recording again. Uh ask Jason about Roberto Esquivel.
Speaker 4:Cabrera, I meant to fucking do that during my section, so that's it.
Speaker 3:Just somebody remind us to talk to him about that. Live in front of people? Um, curious, because we gotta know. We gotta know about this man, right, mama?
Speaker 2:yeah, and how that, how this is related yeah, I think he just went on a binger, hi, mama the rest again um, that's, that's captain kutch's key lime pies, it's.
Speaker 2:There's a way more that we have not gone into. There's a whole bit about a website owned by Oswald that became a fucking scam site. There's this whole bit about a cooking book that Oswald was selling to people for $100,000. There's bits where Oswald is pretending, pretending to be like a stockbroker, where you send him money and he'll double your investments. There's a whole fucking avalanche of other information on this that it's hard to say if it's real or just again. Uh, the the fake accounts is adding to the bit. Um, but we we, I think covered the initial story and the rest is just fanfare, if that makes sense write some Captain Coochie's fanfic and send it to us don't do that.
Speaker 3:Dude's dead well, okay, you know what that was. Write fanfic about the key lime pie. Yeah, that's, that's yeah that's what I meant. I didn't really mean about you know. All right, let's just cut that. We'll cut that out.
Speaker 4:Write fanfic about Roberto. Esquivel. Cabrera and his 19-inch penis, yeah.
Speaker 3:And how. Only six of it is actual penis and the rest is excess skin.
Speaker 2:Oh God, this sounds awful.
Speaker 4:Anyway, do you think it's just foreskin? Just 13 inches of foreskin I don't think that's.
Speaker 3:I think that's a fucking. That's like a 12 skin at that point so gross.
Speaker 2:Well, boys on that note. Uh doug, what do you want to say to the people?
Speaker 3:Just that the cat is screaming at me right now. And if you want to slap your beans and beans inside of a key lime pie, that'd be pretty okay to do.
Speaker 2:Go real American pie with it. You fuck that key lime pie.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you get out there and you fuck a pie this weekend.
Speaker 4:Matt, what do you gotta say? Stay?
Speaker 3:spooky, stay stupid. Cream that pie. Oh, actually, I have one more on a serious note thing to say. Um, it's that fucking time of year again, folks, we want you to send us your hometown horrors, matt, you already know. So yeah, send us an email or, I guess, a text message.
Speaker 2:No, leave it at email. It's easier for us to find.
Speaker 3:Leave Mike a voicemail, don't do that Okay, I get it at email. It's easier for us to find. Leave Mike a voicemail. Don't do that. Okay, I get it, just send an email.
Speaker 2:Just send an email. Put your name Hometown Horrors dash your name.
Speaker 3:And the year, so 2024. Because we keep all of these emails, we have a big long list. So put 2024, hometown Horror your name, and we will probably read it on our episode, or we might ask you to read it, who knows? Yes, depends on how coordinated we are.
Speaker 2:Title it hometown horrors. Dash your name, 2024. If you do not title it, that we will not find it and we will not we'll potentially not put it on the show. We want to put all these on the show.
Speaker 4:Let's be very clear. Here's what's going to happen. If you want your story to be read, do that, because what's going to happen is, if you don't title it, that we don't organize our inbox at all, just whatever the fuck comes in there, comes in there and we get like 50 fucking Reddit notifications a day for some fucking reason.
Speaker 4:Yeah, blame Jason for that one and what we're, what we're gonna do is literally the night before the episode, we're gonna go into the Google Drive and we're gonna search. We're gonna type in hometown horrors and hope that your stories come up exactly if you didn't optimize your SEO, your story is not gonna come up.
Speaker 2:Hope to God we have content the day before. All right, so I just opened our email, which I actually did just organize. Your story is not going to come up. We hope, to God we have content the day before we record, Alright.
Speaker 3:So I just opened our email, which I actually did just organize not too long ago, so it looks much better. But we have like four different people that we have to respond to. Also, how have we not talked about someone's email that's just 1313131313 at gmailcom sending us a picture of a tooth?
Speaker 2:Because I didn't know that was there. We'll get to that in a minute bonus territory, but yes.
Speaker 3:I just saw it, so I was like alright again hometown horrors.
Speaker 2:Send us an email with your story, your creepy story that happened to you. Want a personal story. If you can find one send it to the loony pod.
Speaker 4:Don't just make up a story. Yeah, don't make up stories. Make them, make it a personal story. If you can find one, yeah, please. Don't just make up a story.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't make up stories Make it a personal story of a creepy thing that happened to you. Creepy stories are fun, but I want to know the real scary stuff that's legitimate. Has you spooked, Not a story that you made up on the spot?
Speaker 4:Yeah, some of you aren't as good writers as you think you are. We read all.
Speaker 3:We've read a lot of these and you know who you are. You know what you did.
Speaker 2:You know what you did. You know what you did One more time Hometown Horrors Dash your Name 2024. We will not read it if you do not put it at that. So please do that so we can put it on the show. Um, I would also like to say please go to diluty pod at gmail or the dually pod. Gmailcom is where you can send us emails and shit. Um, go to dilutycom patreoncom, slash diluty pod, and that's where you guys can become members both those sites. You can send us a text message or a voicemail at 630-909-9366. Send us a text, we respond. Send us a voicemail, we play it at the end of the show, like what you're gonna hear after this. Maybe you find us on. You find us in all of our socials. If you just go to linktreecom, slash dilutypod, all of our social links are there. You find us on all the socials at either Don't Look Under the Internet or Dilutypod. It's that easy, ladies and gentlemen, that easy.
Speaker 3:Buy our merch or something Be cool. Rep it, send us a picture. Send us a picture in your merch and you'll be entered into a giveaway of nothing.
Speaker 2:We're also doing fan art on our Instagram too. So if you have any fan art of Deluty-branded things, if you want to give a best shot of what Orthon looks like, best representation, send it our way and we will post it on our Instagram and we will credit you and whatnot. So there's that as well. Go ahead and hug your dad, take your tooth, put and hug your dad, take your tooth, put it in your dad and key lime pie comes out like an easy bake oven. That's what I got. Goodbye everybody.
Speaker 3:Good fucking bye.
Speaker 5:Don't look under the internet. Hey, my name is D. I'm a newer fan of your podcast and I'm enjoying it. I recently watched your episode about my Dad's Tapes. I got to say I'm kind of interested. I watched some videos of it. It obviously wasn't that good, but'm kind of interested it was. I watched some videos of it it was. It obviously wasn't that good but it got me interested.
Speaker 5:I feel like it has, like it's inspired by I don't know if you guys have ever seen the Netflix documentary Season of the Witch. I think it's called this whole thing about like the son of Sam Killer and he has a weird connection to like, uh, this weird like like Scientology offshoot religion called the process church. It's like a cult um, which also apparently might've had connections with the Manson family. So weird documentary Um, it's like I guess you'd call it conspiracy theory and I saw I was watching my Dad's Tapes and there was that weird Scientology connection. But yeah, I mean, I know I think Lee Manson had a weird connection to Scientology, but it's. Yeah, I think my Dad's Tapes like is kind of like inspired by like serial killer conspiracies. I don't know if you've ever heard of the book Program to Kill by Dave McMahon. Again, it's one of those things. Basically it's like every serial killer from like the 60s, 70s and 80s were all like MKUltra, experiments gone wrong or something.
Speaker 5:But yeah, I believe that documentary is on Netflix. It's called Season of the Witch. It was actually pretty decent, so I think that might have been an inspiration for my dad's tapes, or at least the conspiracies. I think the documentary came out long after the channel was dead. But yeah, big fan Hope to listen to more episodes and keep doing what you guys are doing. Thanks, bye.
