DLUTI 177 - Aquatic Mysteries

Mike had a task for us this week - find a water-based mystery and make it interesting. Did we succeed? You be the judge.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:17

Don't look under the internet All right, do we want to try starting over? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, all right, can I still do the AIDS bit? Yeah, whatever. No, I'm not doing that. You can rethink it if you'd like. No, that's fine. Okay, all right, we're starting over Fresh ready. Not doing that. You can rethink it if you'd like. No, that's fine, we're starting over Fresh Ready. Here we go. Hey, god damn it.

Speaker 3 0:57

Hi there.

Speaker 1 0:59

Hey, welcome to Don't Look Under the Internet. This isn't our second take. It's an internet comedy horror podcast starring yours truly Matt. He's somewhere on the screen. I'm not pointing, just say something under the internet. This isn't our second take. It's an internet comedy horror podcast starring yours truly matt. He's somewhere on the screen. I'm not pointing, just say something hi, there's doug there as well. I think so. And then there's a jason too, hello. And then there's me, michael, the worst of us all, the butt wizard, truly butt. Yeah, boy, we have a pretty fun one today. So I'm going to start this off really simple. We're going to go with the classic diluty Clap above your head.

Speaker 4 1:32

Did you know that water is actually a really bad lubricant?

Speaker 2 1:36

It's actually pretty bad. Yeah, there's lots of other stuff that's way more lubricant-y.

Speaker 1 1:41

There sure is.

Speaker 3 1:43

I've seen tub of butter.

Speaker 1 1:44

I fucking hate you guys. Big, big jug hot cheese hitting all the points.

Speaker 3 1:52

What are you not what? What's up with you?

Speaker 2 1:54

tell us the news what's the good news, mike? The news goes the big news is uh, big news is uh, there's no housekeeping.

Speaker 1 1:59

Uh, we're recording two episodes in the same night, so I did it all last week. So neener, neener, boo boo. The big news is there's no housekeeping. We're recording two episodes in the same night, so I did it all last week. So neener, neener, boo boo, you get nothing. But if you gave us, please still give us money. We want money. Give us money.

Speaker 2 2:16

Money me please.

Speaker 1 2:18

Please me money. That's it Housekeeping done, because we just don't have any Woo Wow content at three minutes of time.

Speaker 3 2:26

That's crazy.

Speaker 1 2:27

Housekeeping done, because we just don't have any Woo Wow content at three minutes of time. That's crazy. Yeah Boy. For a second tape. This one sure is more efficient, but worse I feel it definitely was. No, it's better.

Speaker 4 2:40

It's better.

Speaker 1 2:41

I'm still using the same segues before Bird Scooter. I mean because I appreciate it and we're on a slippery slope.

Speaker 4 2:48

Hey did you know that water is actually a bad lubricant.

Speaker 1 2:51

Or a slippery slope.

Speaker 4 2:54

Lots of things are more slippery than water. A lot of things are more slippery than water, like butter.

Speaker 1 3:02

Boy, let me tell you 16 tubs of it like butter like 16 tubs of it.

Speaker 2 3:08

Did you know that if you have such a good name that you'll actually get shouted out multiple times over multiple episodes?

Speaker 3 3:15

actually all of our episodes, yeah that's how that works right you're our listener of the year. We're going to shout your name out every episode the entire year. Jason, are you in a room?

Speaker 4 3:25

with a helicopter. I feel like we should just start this episode over.

Speaker 1 3:35

Alright, part three. I can't, I can't, like I can't prove it right now, but I'm like a solid 12% positive. I am in hell and this is what it is to me.

Speaker 4 3:47

It's just repeating, paul.

Speaker 1 3:51

Genie fans over here in the Discord, oh, in the Patreon In the Discord, and underneath it is you with some big ol' titties.

Speaker 2 4:00

dog Guys, if you have not joined our Discord, please, please, please, go do that.

Speaker 1 4:08

Alright, see what I mean Slippery slope Water. We're talking about aquatic-based mysteries. Yeah, we're finally getting to the fucking topic at hand. Woo, I came up with a theme.

Speaker 3 4:23

We should let Jason go.

Speaker 1 4:27

I came up, we should let Jason go. I came up with a theme. I wanted us to talk about aquatic-based mysteries and the boys have something fun. Jason go first. Are you sure I should go first? You know, I don't know. Let's talk about it for another fucking 40 minutes, okay, alright. Yeah, I don't know, let's talk about it for another fucking 40 minutes.

Speaker 2 4:47

Okay, all right. Yeah, I found a couple of different things that I wanted to share, but the one that actually caught my eye the most was a headline and all it says is man's body quote unquote dissolved by Yellowstone hot spring after seeking place to swim what? So I'm going to try to get through this pretty quickly because apparently this is just un-fucking-bearable. So this article goes on to explain that a man by the I don't feel bad about doxing this individual, considering it's and it's all over this fucking website. So, colin Scott, age 23, no, they're dead in oregon. Um, there's headlines all over the place about this man who dissolved and for falling into a boiling acidic hot spring at yellowstone national park. Um, after he'd been looking for a place to swim illegally, I might add.

Speaker 2 5:55

Colin scott was hiking through a prohibited section of the park on june 7th with his sister sable when scott fell into a hot spring. And then, in quotes it says and did not get out. According to a report released by the National Park Service on Thursday, deputy Chief Ranger Laurent Veres told a local news station KULR-TV the pair were searching for a place to hot pot, which is the illegal practice of swimming in one of the park's thermal features. They were specifically moving in that area for a place that they could potentially get into and soak. And this is Veres. This is what's her name, laurent Veres. So this is the deputy chief saying they were specifically moving in that area for a place that they could potentially get in and soak. Sable Scout was filming a video of the pair intentionally walking off the Norris Geyser Basin's boardwalk. According to the report, when her brother fell the fuck in what I thought soaking was more of a Mormon thing.

Speaker 2 6:56

It is Jump pumping and soaking is more Mormon, but I think he was trying to soak with the park. It's not sex if I don't move inside of the geyser, that shit is so so straight, Like the, the mental gymnastics you need to be able to do to hold you God, not only have have sex, but then say this is not that I'm not gay guys, I'm not gay.

Speaker 1 7:22

I only have same sex attraction. It's different Completely-sex attraction. It's different, completely.

Speaker 3 7:27

God damn it. It's not losing your virginity if it's in the butt, that's true, though that one's accurate actually.

Speaker 4 7:35

It says so in the Bible. But sex is a child. It does cause no child, as Limp Bizkit would say.

Speaker 2 7:43

Our man Fred Durst, the gospel of Fred Durst.

Speaker 2 7:45

So anyway, as they would, say our man, fred dirt, the gospel of fred durst, yeah, fred, um, so anyway, uh, this, this couple, colin and sable, uh decided to head off the path, um, apparently in a very, very obscured area of the park, and, um, all that was described is that this couple went to go look for this place to soak, colin falls in and the next hour or two is spent by Sable essentially calling into this very, very dark pit of water for Colin. Eventually, rescuers were actually unable to safely recover Scott's body due to the volatile thermal area. So you know, there's a guy boiling alive in this fucking spring right, and the rescue team, the emergency personnel, who's supposed to be prepared to save people from these types of situations, says the water's too hot. We can't go get him. Excuse me, why did you call me? What do you got for me? Says the water's too hot.

Speaker 1 8:46

We can't go get him. Excuse me, why'd you call me? What do you got for me? It's really hot, I got popcorn we could watch.

Speaker 3 8:56

You know how fucking hot this water is, bro, I'm not getting that guy out of there.

Speaker 2 9:00

You want me to go away. What are you talking about? Emergency personnel shows up and they determine that it's much too risky to go in. What are you talking about? So, yeah, emergency personnel shows up and they determine that it's much too risky to go in after this guy to rescue him.

Speaker 1 9:09

A guy's just screaming in the background. It's real hot.

Speaker 4 9:14

It's probably one of those things where they could rescue him, but he's going to die anyway.

Speaker 3 9:21

Possibly Just let him melt. It probably feels better than If we took him out and then he died Because he's just hot as fuck.

Speaker 4 9:30

He can die now or he can just spend Two weeks in the next.

Speaker 3 9:34

They go to rope him out.

Speaker 4 9:35

Getting repeated infections.

Speaker 3 9:37

I imagine they would go Slowly leaking out of your butt. I would imagine they were going to rope him out.

Speaker 1 9:43

Tie a rope around him and pull him out by a helicopter, but they're like, actually, once we hoist him up, he's just going to ooze out of the rope. He's just going to ooze out of the rope. He's just going to become slush. The geyser is the only thing holding them together. It's like when you get into a car accident. Or like when you get into a car accident.

Speaker 4 10:03

Or like when you get run over by a train on the subway as soon as we move the train, you're going to die.

Speaker 3 10:12

It's like when you take apart a boat and then rebuild the boat.

Speaker 1 10:16

Does anybody else have an example?

Speaker 4 10:19

The ship of Theseus.

Speaker 2 10:21

There you go.

Speaker 4 10:24

If you replace a man's spleen.

Speaker 2 10:27

With an automobile? Is he still?

Speaker 4 10:29

the same man.

Speaker 2 10:31

Or is he?

Speaker 1 10:31

a car.

Speaker 3 10:32

PS2 is where your legs used to be.

Speaker 2 10:38

Hey, they're still your legs.

Speaker 4 10:41

Are you Crash?

Speaker 3 10:42

Bandicoot, Is that Exhibit Yo dog are you crash band dude?

Speaker 2 10:45

is that exhibit yo dog? We put ps2s in your legs.

Speaker 4 10:50

We heard you like ps2s we heard you like to pee, so we put ps2s the second version of peeing in your legs.

Speaker 2 11:03

God damn it. So yeah. So this guy gets his legs wet, and also the rest of his body, and emergency services decides you know what, it's too hot, it's just too volatile to actually go in, so we're just gonna watch. Um, they, oh god. So instead of staying and seeing what kind of happened, they left and they came back the next morning. Don't worry, they definitely showed up the next morning. However, it's almost like the problem had just disappeared. There was no body. There was no nothing. There was no visible evidence of any crime being committed here. Nothing happened.

Speaker 2 11:45

Let's go home, the only thing that they actually found was a wallet and a pair of footplugs. And a hot spring we have to be on a lift now.

Speaker 3 11:56

Like we're telling people how to make easily obtainable explosives, how to get rid of body. We're on a lift.

Speaker 1 12:04

Do you think they watched this man screaming, boiling alive? Just sink into the geyser and they're just like I don't. I don't remember why we were here. Let's go hit Chili's up, dude. Let's go hit Chili's.

Speaker 2 12:17

This is a problem. Do you see a?

Speaker 4 12:20

problem? I don't see anything.

Speaker 1 12:22

Do we have to report this? It's a hole. What would we?

Speaker 2 12:25

report yeah hey, there's a, there's a geyser over there, there's a hot spring. Yep, all right, that's all we got. Um? So apparently the water temperatures at the time of him falling in usually reach, uh, right around 199 degrees fahrenheit or 93 celsius. Um, but at the time that his so this is kind of where, oh, okay, the body was no longer visible. That doesn't mean it wasn't there, okay, they did eventually retrieve remains and when they did, the water's temperature was 212 degrees, which means it was boiling, and there was a whole bunch of warning signs, this, that and the other. Obviously, stupid things happen to stupid people, because stupid people are stupid. They'd been visiting from Oregon, they had just graduated college and here my favorite part of this whole article is at the very end. It said no citations were issued. Article is at the very end. It said no citations were issued and that, you know. That makes me happy that no one decided to issue a citation to a the partially degraded, dissolved dead body in their in their hot spring.

Speaker 4 13:37

We expect you to cite the person as much as you can paper into.

Speaker 2 13:42

The guys are like yeah, here's, take it idiot but on top of that they say not to cite the person who just lost her fucking husband like, okay, that's great, good for you guys, but aside from that, that's all I got. I will say when this was first presented, it was presented more in the light of there was a body found in the, uh, the yellowstone park that had been partially dissolved inside one of the hot springs. And, um, it wasn't until they got the report from this uh, the sable family or what's her name, save scott collins, or sable that's her name, first name is Sable Damn Apparently when she eventually came forward and said, like hey, we were actually doing illegal things here and that's what happened. That's when they kind of figured some stuff out. So for a while there was just a partially dissolved body floating around the Yellowstone Springs. There's probably lots of that. I mean, honestly, if you guys had to take a guess, how many bodies do you think get dumped in the Yellowstone Hot Springs every year?

Speaker 1 14:53

Is there like a Mormon mob? Why am I thinking Mormons?

Speaker 4 14:58

Mormons.

Speaker 2 14:59

Mormons in.

Speaker 4 14:59

Yellowstone doing organized crime.

Speaker 2 15:03

It's Mormons going we're going to let you go soak now and they're going to get all excited and then they're going to realize what's happening.

Speaker 4 15:10

You're going to soak with the thermal bacteria there you go.

Explosive Encounter With Aquatic Beast

Speaker 2 15:17

I was like I don't know what resistant bacteria can't be much. Yeah, but yeah, that's all. I thought it was an interesting story about how late night, just trying to have a good time soaking a hot spring at Yellowstone, turns into turning yourself into people soup.

Speaker 1 15:35

Okay so I bet there there's a point where he was like boiled to perfection. You know what I mean Like perfect.

Speaker 2 15:42

Oh yeah, like tender.

Speaker 1 15:44

Yeah, fall off.

Speaker 2 15:45

Call the bone Call and fall off the bone type thing. Yeah.

Speaker 4 15:50

I hope everyone enjoyed that episode of Jason sticks his beard in a weed whacker.

Speaker 2 15:58

So it sounds like we need to figure out this fan situation.

Speaker 4 16:03

I was impressed by how it seemed to get progressively worse as he went on.

Speaker 1 16:08

Really, oh Lord, Join Jason live in the Channel 5 helicopter as he goes over his storm.

Speaker 4 16:16

Just a DJI drone.

Speaker 2 16:18

Next time I record remote like this, you guys are just going to see like five weed whackers back here and then you're going to be like you're not allowed to record it.

Speaker 3 16:29

All going at the same time.

Speaker 1 16:31

Well, I guess I can go next. Can you? I can, but may I? I'd love Vetoed. I can go next. Can you? I can, but may I.

Speaker 2 16:42

No.

Speaker 4 16:42

Vetoed. Doug said no, so that means he has to go.

Speaker 2 16:47

Alright.

Speaker 1 16:49

Didn't fucking think of that did you, Doug?

Speaker 2 16:50

Mike wanted me to go last. Oh shit, you're right, that was last intro we didn't do the intro.

Speaker 4 16:59

We tried, but we didn't get all of it. I'll go next. Good, get us out of here.

Speaker 1 17:05

July 30th 1915. Jesus, right off the water is a fastened rock. 60 miles off the coast of Ireland there was a German U-boat being captained by Freiherr George G von Forster I don't know if that's the correct way to pronounce his name or not, I went to school with that guy. I hope not yeah.

Speaker 1 17:27

He had a U-23 Schmidt U-boat that was prowling off the waters of Fastnet Rock At this time they came across a British cargo steamer called the Iberian and this was carrying trucks and jeeps for the Allied war effort. This was right in the beginnings of World War I. So once this happened, once they got a sight of this British cargo steamer, the Germans fired a torpedo at the cargo ship and just decimated this motherfucker, murdered the entire crew. There's 61 people on that. That. Um, that cargo ship dead. Um, roughly about 30 seconds after it sank, um, there is a huge explosion underwater caused by the hundreds of gallons of gasoline that were on board. This explosion set off this massive, massive wave of exploding wreckage and shrapnel that went flying all over the place and even damaged the German U-boat. Wow, this happened.

Speaker 2 18:39

Is this a retelling of that part of? Uh fuck, what was that from? Or the Suez Canal Crab. Is it Monument Mythos? Oh, monument Mythos, yeah, where they nuke the ocean.

Speaker 1 18:50

Seems like it, but it gets better. So Are we the parallel universe? Fuck, Honestly, with everything that's going on in the world, that makes sense Maybe. So, with this giant water plume of explosion, as this happens, the Germans notice something in the air they sent this what they call a giant sea monster.

Speaker 1 19:18

They sent a giant sea monster flying 80 feet in the air. What decimated this motherfucker? They claim that it is, or it was described as, a 60 foot long aquatic reptile, similar to a crocodile, with a head that tapered to a point, a long pointed tail and four webbed feet. Um, now, there are no official records of this happening. The official record for what happened to this boat is it just got damaged by shrapnel from the explosion. Um, people have been speculating that this creature that they saw, um, according to the description, was a Mosasaurus, which went extinct about 66. A what Mosasaurus?

Speaker 4 20:03

A Mosasaurus, a Mimosasaurus.

Speaker 1 20:05

Mimosasaurus A Jason Mimosasaurus.

Speaker 4 20:08

Oh, okay, mosa.

Speaker 1 20:10

M-O-S-A-S-A-U-R-S.

Speaker 4 20:11

Mimosasaurus is what they call Becky. After brunch on Saturday hey, hey, hey, hey, Dude save the jokes for your bit.

Speaker 1 20:27

No, yeah, so this creature went extinct 66 million years ago. So they say no, it didn't. But here we are Now the Germans have found one. They exploded one. It was just chilling in the ocean just up in the air. Was it alive? You don we are Now. The Germans have found one. They exploded one. It was just chilling in the ocean Just up in the air, was it alive?

Speaker 2 20:41

We don't chill in the ocean.

Mysterious Sea Creature Encounter

Speaker 1 20:42

Thanks World War, I Thanks Obama, thanks Obama. So Other thing that happened here. Now you might think, wow, that's insane, they just found a fucking Mosasaurus, that's awesome, they exploded, this fucker, I bet it'll never happen again. Well, that's insane. They just found a fucking Mosasaurus, that's awesome, they exploded, this fucker, I bet it'll never happen again. Well, a little bit of shock and awe here.

Speaker 1 21:05

Not three years later, on April 30th 1918, there is a British patrol boat off the coast of Ireland again and it spotted a German U-boat. They fired a torpedo at the U-boat but they didn't receive any returning fire or any type of retaliation. They were a bit off-put by this. They're like was it that easy? Did we win that easy? They're a bit shocked. They also noticed that the Germans surrendered very, very quickly and they put up no fight.

Speaker 1 21:41

So, as they took the german soldiers, uh, in this boat hostage or in the submarine hostage, um, the u-boat commander, captain gunther kreksh, um, yeah, he. He stated the following happened Uh, he stated that the previous night the crew surfaced to recharge the subs batteries. Um, but as they floated up, this massive sea monster crawled onto the side of the vessel. The creature had giant eyes, devilish horns and a row of knife like teeth. Devilish horns and a row of knife-like teeth. According to the crew on the u-boat, the creature attacked the forward mounted gun latched onto it with its mouth in an attempt to tear the ship apart. The crew was freaking the fuck out and they decided to just fucking unload on this thing which I would too but it barely made a dent on this creature. It didn't seem affected at all. So the sea creature started to twist the sub upside down and basically had this thing on its last leg. It was about to just start sinking into the ocean. The soldiers just kept unloading everything they had they had basically all hands on deck at this time Just unloading everything in every arsenal that they have in a last ditch effort to just get rid of this fucking monster. Finally, after just bombarding this creature with all this weaponry, it removed itself from the U-boat, but the U-boat was so badly damaged that the Germans couldn't submerge their U-boat anymore and they were basically just coasting on the waves until the British arrived and they got shot with a torpedo.

Speaker 1 23:29

Now there is no real evidence that this is another Mosasaur, mostly because the way that they described it doesn't really sound like a mosasaurus, um mosasaurus. They didn't have devilish horns, uh, they didn't have, like, um, the ability to like latch on. They had flippers, so it's not like they're latching on to anything, um, so a lot of people speculated that this was one of the first um, like, uh, uh, like instances of a giant squid which you know. Back in like ye old day, people used to say that the giant squid was a Kraken. You know, that's where the myth came from the Kraken it was. People think that that was just a giant squid. This is potentially the first modern day discovery of um of you know a giant squid. This is potentially the first modern day discovery of um of you know a giant squid based off of what they're saying of the kraken.

Speaker 1 24:26

Yeah, they released the kraken. Um now, I don't have much more on this other than that, but I think it's very fascinating that both of these happen off of the coast of Ireland, which doesn't?

Speaker 2 24:41

Ireland's got some fucked up sea, sea-based folklore, the?

Speaker 1 24:47

Kelpie, the Kelpie.

Speaker 4 24:49

There's one close to Scotland yeah, I like to think.

Speaker 1 24:54

I don't think sharks are really around that area like that.

Speaker 2 24:57

So sharks are wherever the fuck they want to be sharks.

Speaker 1 25:02

They're terrible. That's fair, yeah, but I don't know if sharks go around the coast of Ireland like that? I have no idea. I couldn't tell you. I'm not a sea biologist. It's interesting to think of what these creatures truly were and were they biologist. Yeah, it's interesting to think of what these creatures, um, truly were and were they can you imagine in like the 1600s?

Speaker 4 25:26

can you imagine, like on the in the 1600s, being on a ship and just peering over the side and seeing a giant squid though I'd shit my pants 100%, I'd make up folk stories yeah, well, especially like modern boats are like.

Speaker 1 25:40

you know, they're metal, they're steel. Back in the day you're just on the Mayflower made of fucking birch.

Speaker 2 25:46

That's what's gonna rip that shit up. So apparently, one of the most commonly found species of shark around Northern Ireland there are about 20 that you can commonly find there One of the most common one is something called the Basking Shark, and here I'll drop a Harold Basking yeah, Harold Basking the shark. Um yeah, it looks super fucked up. I will say that.

Speaker 1 26:12

Hmm.

Speaker 2 26:13

Where's Discord?

Speaker 1 26:16

Yeah, I'll drop it there, so you guys can look at it Wow. Wow, that's really all I had, but I found that one. It really does. Where did you drop this?

Speaker 3 26:28

I think it looks like it stuck to a mean pants.

Speaker 4 26:32

Thanks for that, Doug.

Speaker 1 26:33

I don't see it. Why not?

Speaker 2 26:38

I should probably hit enter, huh.

Speaker 1 26:40

Oh yeah, that'll help. Oh, those guys, yeah, I know, yeah, they filter, feed off like shrimp and shit, I think.

Speaker 2 26:46

Yeah, they don't really have teeth, but they use like something similar to baleen, like whales use. They suck into their gills. Yeah, can you imagine if our main eating apparatus was hair in our mouth? E, e, yeah.

Speaker 3 26:59

Life would be a lot different.

Speaker 1 27:01

It's like it's like a golf ball through a garden.

Speaker 2 27:07

And it does.

Speaker 1 27:08

That's really all I had for mine. It wasn't anything huge, but I like a good mystery that took place in, like I love like a World War One, World War Two, like like paranormal, supernatural kind of thing well, you also love cryptids and this is very like.

Speaker 2 27:25

Yeah, this is this is like this is like cryptid eyewitness account. You know what I mean, man that's.

Speaker 1 27:30

That's fair. The only thing that upsets me a little bit is this is just a lot of word of mouth because there's no real documentation to the creatures. So we are pretty much just basing of word of mouth because there's no real documentation to the creatures. So we are pretty much just basing this off of. My grandpa told me who knows if that's real.

Speaker 4 27:45

That's what I was going to ask is like are there any military documents that document that any of this actually happened?

Speaker 1 27:50

No, there's nothing. It's just all word of mouth based off of what the captain said. But even the captain like Puffed ether.

Speaker 2 27:57

Yeah, we used to tell this story about a 60 foot crocodile that we blew up with a torpedo we actually just shot a real shark with a torpedo, and it was it was actually a protected species of whale, so we can't say anything about that yeah, but it's even.

Speaker 1 28:11

It's even like stated here that um, um, fucking, what's their faces, the captains? I forgot their fucking names for a second there. But the only fact to any of these stories is that in the first one, the Iberian was sunk by Captain George G Von Forrester's U-boat that's the only thing on file and Captain Gunther Kretsch was captured by the British with no fight. But again, there's no evidence of sea monsters. They never put that into any type of files. So who knows?

Speaker 4 28:48

Who's to say.

Speaker 1 28:49

Who's to say? Who would have thought?

Speaker 4 28:53

Me, I've got boat, so I have a particular I hear what you're talking about now.

Speaker 2 29:00

Oh my god. Yeah, welcome to our world. The fan just kicked into high gear. I'm so sorry, everybody. Fuck, I gotta figure something out. I'm sorry, go ahead, I'm ruining everything.

Speaker 4 29:10

Tori in the Twitch chat claims that it's not as audible as it may seem, but I think when we compress and do all the mastering and stuff, it's going to be real bad. But we'll see what we get. We're working with what we have to work with. So I have a particular boaticle, and this particular boaticle is called the USS Cyclops and shipwreck. People have probably heard of it before and if so, you're just going to hear a bunch of information that you can find easily on the internet and have probably seen before, but I think it's interesting.

Speaker 4 29:42

so the uss cyclops was a ship that was launched in 1910. It was built by william cramp and sons in philadelphia, and this was a boat, or a ship that was initially tasked with just transporting stuff from, like latin america um up to the united states. It was eventually assigned to be a military transport ship during world war one, so as that, like during that time period, it was sailing through the bermuda triangle and it completely disappeared and it failed to show up at its final destination. So it was hauling 10,000 tons of magnesium at the time, and it's noted that its maximum capacity was stated to be 8,000 tons, so it was probably overloaded with magnesium.

Speaker 4 30:31

There's been a lot of speculation about what actually happened to the ship. Some people say that it was just strong storms, like strong storms, in combination with the fact that it was overloaded, caused it to turn over and sink, and others claim that maybe it was also sunk by German U-boats, that the boats blew it up. The German government was eventually questioned about this and they claimed that they have absolutely no knowledge or any record of the ship and to this date it has never been found. So it was taking this magnesium from Brazil to Maryland and it most likely sank somewhere near Cape Charles in Virginia. It was nearly 600 feet long, which makes it one of the largest ships that's ever been lost and never found, and it's actually perhaps the largest Navy ship that's ever disappeared and never found, and there were 300 people on board at the time and no shred of evidence of any of these people has ever been uncovered. Again, um, it kind of sounds like the.

Speaker 2 31:29

The boat was just kind of a big wick just from initial like yeah isn't magnesium super explosive, yes, yeah it has to get hot enough, but it burns at temperatures of like 1300 degrees or something like that. It's something fucking like, or maybe it was 3000 degrees, right it's something ridiculous.

Speaker 4 31:47

It's quite possible, with 10 000 tons of magnesium on board, that it something happened and it caught fire. I mean it was the fucking like 1910s.

Speaker 2 31:57

Somebody was probably smoking a cigarette and like accidentally lit it all on fire so main uh, magnesium and manganese are two of like the, the catalyst uh metals that you use to ignite thermite, which is used to melt doors and shit, I mean I imagine, since it was a navy ship hauling shit, that that's probably what they were going to use it for was explosives or whatever, probably.

Speaker 4 32:20

But yeah, it's never been found. It's quite possible that it burnt up before it sank and that's why it's never been found. There were really no clues until in 1968. And I found this on Numanet, and Numa apparently is a nonprofit called National Underwater and Marine Agency, run by a guy named Clive Cussler, and he, I guess, takes it upon himself to document and try to find ships and stuff that have never been found before.

Speaker 4 32:48

He claims that a guy named Dean Hawes, who was a Navy diver, told him that he was on a navy mission one time to go for a dive and he descended upon a large hunk or a large hulk that was lying in about 180 feet of water, about 40 nautical miles off the northeast uh, the northeast of cape charles. So he basically said that he was standing on top of like the largest vessel that he's ever seen underwater and he had to come up quickly and the weather turned bad so they had to leave and he wasn't able to explore it any further and he had never known actually what it was until he saw a picture of the Cyclops later on and he was like that's the ship. That's the ship that I found underneath the water. And so there was one mission to go back and try to find the ship, and they went back to the coordinates that he claimed that they found the ship at and there was nothing there and oh so ship. And then he died.

Speaker 4 33:58

Not long after that mission happened, clive Klessler, the guy that claims that he dove and found the ship, died, and so now any information about the location or anything has been lost with him. So nobody knows where the fuck this ship is. Somebody claims that they dove underwater and saw it one time, and now we'll never know. Look, they dove underwater and saw it one time and now, we'll never know.

Speaker 2 34:20

Look up his boat's travel itinerary. We gotta find it.

Speaker 1 34:25

Look up his boat.

Speaker 2 34:27

That's probably what I'm doing. After this, if you go to the NUMA page for it.

Speaker 4 34:33

he lists the coordinates that Clive gave him and he says that according to Clive, this is where it's supposed to be, but he's never gone back himself to check.

Speaker 1 34:44

Let's get some billionaires down there and then see if let's just go ourselves.

Speaker 2 34:49

Yeah, we'll build them a submarine out of bologna packages and saran wrap and send them down there.

Speaker 1 34:54

Yeah.

Speaker 2 34:55

And PlayStation 2 controllers, sorry.

Speaker 1 35:01

And.

Speaker 4 35:02

PlayStation 2 is for your legs, just to wrap it up right and then, yeah, we'll sync that and that'll become a tourist attraction yeah, there we go um and then we can send more submarines to go.

Speaker 2 35:10

Look at the wreckage. It's a set. It's. Every time someone goes down there it gets to be a better attraction.

Speaker 4 35:17

Exactly. It's just generations upon generations of dead people at the bottom of the ocean. Looking at other dead people at the bottom of the ocean.

Speaker 1 35:26

So here you can see Tim looking at Tom, looking at Jeff, looking at Tony, looking at Chris.

Speaker 2 35:33

And if you follow all their gazes, you'll find the beginnings to an ARG.

Speaker 4 35:38

It's just like the monkey evolution to humans thing, except just dead people on the floor, different types of dead people.

Speaker 1 35:47

The missing link is just the person that has yet to go diving and die. That's all it is.

Speaker 2 35:54

Just because the missing link isn't here doesn't mean it doesn't exist, Mike.

Speaker 4 35:58

My favorite thing about the USS Cyclops Wikipedia page is that it starts with named after the Cyclops, a race of giants from Greek mythology.

Speaker 1 36:05

As if you've never heard what a.

Speaker 4 36:06

Cyclops is before.

Speaker 2 36:09

Named after the Cyclops. To be fair, I'm sure there's X-Men fans out there that have no idea what an actual Cyclops is.

Speaker 1 36:16

N Name after Cyclops, the popular character, the laser shooting blind man.

Mineral Confusion and Lost Boats

Speaker 2 36:25

Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah, I mean, that's just kind of where everybody's head's at today, so nobody knows what this fucking boat is. And it's full of magnesium 10,000 pounds of it it's okay. Sorry, it's not magnesium, it's manganese no manganese is the specific form of magnesium used as a whip.

Speaker 4 36:51

You think I know these things.

Speaker 2 36:53

The only reason I know this is because I read the anarchist cookbook in college.

Speaker 4 36:57

That's it and it all comes back around.

Speaker 1 37:00

Yep. All this has something to do with Jason's college days.

Speaker 4 37:04

Manganese is a micromineral, magnesium is a macromineral. So hey, if nothing else, today you've learned something.

Speaker 2 37:10

You've learned something. That's it. This is the first time this show has taught anybody anything.

Speaker 3 37:16

Probably Holy crap the other thing I learned?

Speaker 4 37:20

that really cements that I'm an idiot, that it doesn't know anything, and cements that I definitely don't know. History is that I didn't know that Santa Maria sank and nobody's ever been able to find it either.

Speaker 2 37:31

I didn't know that either.

Speaker 4 37:34

I guess they abandoned it because it got stuck.

Speaker 1 37:37

Someone get the.

Speaker 3 37:38

Stepbrothers on this. I was literally just thinking that shit in my head.

Speaker 4 37:43

The Nina and the Pinta and the Santa Maria. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, that's exactly when I read that, that's exactly what I started doing in my head.

Speaker 2 37:52

Someone get that Catalina wine mixer on this, the Catalina wine mixer Prestige Worldwide.

Speaker 4 37:58

Worldwide. Damn, that's what I got.

Speaker 2 38:05

If you guys don't hear from me for the next four weeks, it's because I'm looking for a lost boat that doesn't exist.

Speaker 4 38:10

If just suddenly a bunch of manganese turns up on the black market. We know what happened.

Speaker 1 38:15

We know why.

Speaker 4 38:16

And I don't show up next week, jason never comes back. He's never heard from him again. He's bought a bunch of property somewhere and is just living with us.

Speaker 2 38:25

To be fair, the leader of the Silk Road is out of prison now, so there might be a market.

Speaker 4 38:33

Oh, that's true. Hook up with him and be like look, I've got a bunch of explosive minerals Not with me, but I know where it is Now we just need to find a way to get them from there to here, To here well, that was fun, mike have you lost?

Speaker 2 38:51

boats. Have you lost any boats?

Speaker 1 38:54

I had a couple in my day, but nothing really worth mentioning, nothing on the scale. I lost a boat in the Antarctic Sea filled with meth.

Speaker 2 39:08

But it's not that important, it don't matter to clear this up he lost the boat while he was full of meth.

Speaker 1 39:16

The boat was empty the boat had. They wonder where the meth went um doug, I know you have a fun one, okay, uh all right, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk about this, uh.

Speaker 3 39:31

And then, matt, I actually have a video that I sent um that we can play when I'm done talking about it. But man, it's so depressing. All right.

Speaker 1 39:42

So this is the Just selling it Awful.

Speaker 3 39:45

Yeah, it's just a terrible thing that happened. That includes water.

Speaker 2 39:50

The mystery here is that is why is Dougoug bringing this up today?

Speaker 4 39:55

um for funsies it's just to bring everything down.

Speaker 3 40:00

Um, yeah, pretty much. Uh, I mean it's it's just your run of the mill like just bad shit. It's not really that depressing, um, but all right. So this is for those of you who haven't heard of this um I want to bring up. It's called the Paria diving incident. Oh God, so this happened in February of 2022.

Speaker 4 40:22

Oh this fucking shit this is fucking depressing. Yeah, this is awful.

Speaker 3 40:28

Yeah, I know it sucks.

Speaker 2 40:31

With a big grin on your face.

Speaker 3 40:33

Well, I just go down the line. Everyone's like man fuck delta p all right.

Speaker 2 40:40

So really, really teeing you up for success here fat, fat delta.

Tragic Oil Pipe Diving Incident

Speaker 3 40:44

P happened here, um. So this, this is a horrible incident that happened off of the coast of Trinidad, involving five divers who were basically just performing maintenance on an oil pipe owned by Perea Fuel Trading Company. So basically, these five divers were unexpectedly sucked in to this pipeline due to what's called a differential pressure event, or a delta.

Speaker 4 41:11

P.

Speaker 3 41:12

It's a killer. Delta P, delta P. So, since the divers were unexpectedly sucked into the pipe, uh like all of their gear was like not properly on them at the time because they weren't like ready to dive essentially. So their equipment and the divers were all just fucking sucked in to this pipe like instantly. Um, yeah, this is giving nutty putty vibes.

Speaker 1 41:40

I hate it. Yeah, right, so imagine a 30 a 30 inch by 30 inch.

Speaker 3 41:46

Like you know, tube, that all of these guys are just now sucked into. Basically, one of the divers, christopher Boodrum. He was a super experienced diver and what happened was, after they got sucked in, they kind of all got pushed into this area of piping that wasn't fully submerged, right. So it's pitch black, there's toxic fumes, it's a fucking oil pipe, uh, and these guys are now just like hundreds of meters away from where they originally were, in like fractions of a second. You know, I'm saying like they're just fucking goof. Um, so you'll see in the video. Actually, well, you won't see. You'll hear in the video some of the like them talking after it happens, but, um, it's like just the. The audio is just creepy as hell too. Um, but basically christopher was able to. He was, you know, the only. He wasn't damaged, he didn't have any broken legs or nothing like that. So what he did was he actually was able to traverse back through the pipe.

Speaker 3 42:50

Actually, the the worst part about this is is that they got sucked in. He thought they got sucked in. He thought they got sucked in head first and they didn't. So we spent an hour in one direction, going further down the pipe, not realizing that he was actually going the wrong way, and then had to go back again, um, but he ended up finally managing to get back to the beginning of the tube. So I guess the best way to describe this is that, like they were building the tubing and they had this like pressure chamber around the open end of the tube and they had a plug in it. And you know, they're trying to fix this tube and they accidentally, or maybe on purpose I'm not really sure how to build a fucking oil rig. So, like they, they basically removed this plug inside of the tube, which caused the event to happen I think it was an.

Speaker 1 43:37

I don't think the chamber was like fully pressurized yet or something.

Speaker 2 43:41

I I it was an accident, I don't remember I think the removing, removal of the plug caused the depressurization. Yep, because it it basically took a point of entry in the tube and said you're now a valve.

Speaker 1 43:55

Yeah, and now I know it was. It was an accident that had to do with like a pressure system, like you said. I just see them in.

Speaker 2 44:02

Yeah, so this is the worst experience I can think of, by the way. Oh yeah, this is like my worst here.

Speaker 3 44:08

This is. This is like I like, I'm afraid of like, like dying in a small space, or drowning, and this encompasses both of those things. I love diving.

Speaker 4 44:20

And ooh. Ain't no fucking way you're gonna get me underwater. We don't belong. We don't belong in this ocean. I hate water, hell.

Speaker 2 44:27

No, I could spend my whole fucking life underwater.

Speaker 1 44:30

There's a reason we evolved to be on land. So we don't go back, don't belong.

Speaker 4 44:37

yeah, so we left like have you ever heard that story about that chef that was on that boat that sank and, yeah, every, every single person except for him died and he was stuck at the bottom of the ocean in an air pocket in the ship and that somebody, they found him and dragged him out and he was like I'm never going back to the ocean I didn't even know he was alive.

Speaker 1 44:54

They thought he was. Everyone was dead right.

Speaker 4 44:56

Yeah, like that, yeah it was like three days and he was like yeah, how would they? Know this is a sign from god. He's telling me that we're not supposed to be in the ocean. I'm gonna stay, my ass oh, we're not.

Speaker 2 45:06

I agree with that. We are not supposed to be in the ocean. That's not going to stop me from going in it, though yet, um, anyways, so uh, where the fuck am I?

Speaker 3 45:18

all right investigation, no, that's totally fine.

Speaker 3 45:21

Um, I mean, this is horrible, it's, it's like it's horrendous this is fucking horrendous, um, and it was really all of it was due to, uh, negligence on the business's end, but basically investigations revealed that the pipeline had developed a dangerous differential pressure which created a powerful suction when the divers attempted to remove an inflatable plug. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So the commission of inquiry concluded that Pria Fuel Trading Company and LMCIS, or Land and Marine Contracting Services, um were grossly negligent and basically what happened is, uh, the report criticized them for failing to initiate a timely rescue. So let me explain, kind of what happened here. So we have christopher who spends hours trying to get out of this pipe and finally gets rescued and he goes hey, there's four of my divers down here and they're alive. I've got, uh, uh, two guys with broken ribs and arms or legs and like we need to rescue them, like they're I.

Speaker 3 46:29

He's, like I could probably guide you to like exactly where they're at, and they basically were like OK, cool, and they went over to this tube and they could actually hear the guys in the tube Like they were like all right, this is where they're at and they're like well, the only way to do this is to saw the tube open and that would cause huge financial losses for our company. So we're not going to do that. And all four of them died After four days of being in that tube A dark pitch black tube Because basically they lost too much money. They would lose money because they had to cut this fucking pipe open and they didn't rescue the four other guys and they all fucking died in this tube and it is absolutely terrible they did. The companies got charged with corporate manslaughter.

Speaker 1 47:24

They had to pay a fine of $1,000.

Speaker 2 47:27

Which probably cost less than what it would cost for them to get the people out.

Speaker 4 47:32

That's probably the option they were weighing Right. Yeah, that's how that works.

Speaker 3 47:37

This GoPro footage right now that's happening is like it's just like the instant that they get, you get like they get sucked in, it just goes black.

Speaker 4 47:47

It's fucking wild. I see what's happening, oh Jesus.

Speaker 1 47:52

They're just fucking standing in there and then they're not Just skip to the end. I think it's at the 11 minute mark or 12 minute mark. There's the whole thing. This is just a small snippet.

Speaker 3 48:00

Oh yeah, where they're talking, oh yeah, oh no, actually this is a different thing.

Speaker 1 48:06

Yeah, this is a different video. This is the unedited.

Speaker 3 48:09

This is the whole unedited film, if you. If you scroll down a bit, though, there's a part where you can tell that they're like in that part of the tube that's not filled with water, but you can hear him being like, hey, like you good. And the guy's like, nah, man, like my, my legs broken and like, yeah, I think. And then another guy's like, oh, yeah, no, I'm, I'm, I got some broke too, like, and they're just like, he's like super efficient about it, like he stays really calm and like the guy should have saved a lot of people.

Speaker 2 48:41

Oh, my god, you can hear him saying like I'm inside the pipe trying to get out. Yeah, that's so fucked.

Speaker 1 48:48

They got real. Lucky that that pipe wasn't, you know, filled with oil, so they could breathe at least. I don't know, I don't know that I would call this lucky. I would rather die instantly by inhaling oil. Lucky that that pipe wasn't, you know, filled with oil and so they could breathe at least.

Speaker 4 48:53

Oh yeah, I don't know, I don't know that I would call this lucky. I would rather die instantly by inhaling oil than wait in there for four days just to die.

Speaker 3 49:00

Anyway, that's yeah that's fair I can hardly my breath as it is like I would be fucked, like I'd be insta dead in this situation yeah can you fucking even imagine and I'm I'm happy, so I forget who mentioned it the nutty putty cave incident.

Speaker 2 49:19

Yeah, I like nutty putty. Just this is. This is this is I. I don't know which would be worse knowing that the people that are right outside the tube can save you and they won't, or knowing that they're gonna seal you into a fucking cave and you're going to die in there.

Speaker 4 49:35

Well, I think the thing about the nutty putty thing is, I think he had hope to the end that he was gonna yeah, I was just saying I think nutty putty is worse because he had a trickle of hope the whole time just, I think that's better, though, because he eventually just passes out and they give him a bunch of morphine and they're just like shh, go to sleep and I think that is better than just like waiting in a tube for four days just to be drowned.

Speaker 2 50:00

I wonder if they're still in there every single time that I think to myself, their bodies probably still are because if it was too, much if it was too much to get them out while they were alive well, it's an oil pipeline though right that's what I mean.

Speaker 4 50:15

If they're using it I assume it would eventually push them out.

Speaker 2 50:20

If you go fill up next time and the gas doesn't come out, call for help.

Speaker 1 50:24

Just get a finger, uh-oh.

Speaker 2 50:28

We should not be laughing about this. We have to make light of it. Like fuck, that's just so depressing. We know we don't, but like, how else do we deal with it? By being respectful, I mean, we don't know we should be respectful, because that shit like that sucks, that fucking sucks well, the whole survivor of this, the uh christopher yes, I'll be saying it wrong boo drum or bow drum.

Speaker 3 50:54

Um, every time he speaks about it in like interviews and stuff, uh, he's like yeah, I have nightmares almost every night. I have like ptsd I'm actually in financial like struggles because of this like the man just got like fucked and I bet the company's like, if you try to do anything, we're gonna fucking come after you or kill your whole family or some shit.

Speaker 2 51:18

Lg signed up for Disney Plus once, didn't he Probably Damn.

Speaker 4 51:25

Yeah, I hated everything about that one.

Speaker 1 51:28

It gave me the ick, so bad.

Speaker 2 51:30

It's just sad through and through, like every point of this story is just fucking horrific. You're welcome.

Speaker 1 51:38

The worst part is the Chris guy was like Doug said. He was the only one not injured, so he's like you guys stay here, it's safe. I'm going to continue forward. The worst part is, if I remember correctly from when I was listening, because they were just stuck in an air pocket. He would have to go under and keep going, not knowing if he's going to hit another air pocket or not, and just hope god he finds another bit to breathe and he's any any moment.

Speaker 4 52:03

He's just done he has no idea I will say I can't imagine the sure range.

Speaker 2 52:10

If you're an experienced diver, I will say they do teach you ways to create your own air pockets underwater if you run into situations like this. I'm sure some of that knowledge was put to use for sure. Oh yeah, I think he also had a fucking terrifying situation.

Speaker 1 52:26

If I remember correctly, he had um like an air tank with them yeah, I think he think he had a tank.

Speaker 3 52:32

He found one. When he was diving One of the equipment, he ended up finding one. I forgot to mention that. Yeah, is he religious now?

Speaker 1 52:42

Right, Fuck, I would be dude, no he's depressed.

Speaker 2 52:45

Dude, you just found an air tank while you were diving, got sucked into a pipe and that fucking air tank saved your life. Like I might look for a god at that point, like I don't know he's this.

Speaker 1 52:58

I can crawl through a pipe if I have a tank yeah, I don't know that that whole thing is just, oh god, that will suck. Well, I hope you all enjoyed that ending to the episode. Now that you're on a bad note, let's get you on a better note. Um, I, we're leaving.

Speaker 2 53:19

We're leaving you don't have to listen to this anymore no, I mean, yeah, it's.

Speaker 1 53:25

It's one of those things where you know, obviously not a mystery, but it's still one of the more fascinating uh uh tales out there and just absolutely terrifying. Like I know, we talk about scary things on the internet. That's real life scary. It don't get scarier than that.

Speaker 2 53:40

Um well, mike, do you remember when we first started this show like we were dead set on finding some real shit? And then we did and we decided oh, turns out, this is not that fun.

Speaker 1 53:51

Yeah, I don't like talking about the real stuff because it's just real. Real life starts at stake.

Speaker 2 53:56

I like fiction or I like it because it does remind us that, like hey, this shit does actually happen. It's not just fiction, sometimes, yeah. However, the fictional side of it is much more fun yeah like way more fun. Let's stick to that part if we're actually going to make these events happen in real life.

Speaker 1 54:14

I'm also going to stick to this part by saying thank you for listening. Find us on any social media that you're on. We're probably on it too. Uh, just look up. Don't look. Look up diluty. Or don't look on the internet. Odds are you'll find us. We have a link tree uh, linktreecom. Slash delete pod that has links to a bunch of shit on it. We also check out our YouTube again. Just look us up. Anywhere, we're probably there. Gmail dilute pod at gmailcom. Go to our website, get some merch. That'd be super dope and then, fuck, that's really all I got. Fuck, if you're watery, don't go in a pipe. I don't know, I ain't got much If your job entails working on a pipe in the ocean don't go in it, or if you do.

Speaker 1 55:07

I'm just going to say it. This might sound morbid. I'd be packing a cyanide pill with me anytime I go under.

Speaker 2 55:15

One of my teeth is made of cyanide.

Speaker 1 55:16

From now exactly anytime I hear stories like this, I'm like I'm if I'm going on a cruise line, I'm packing a cyanide pill, because who knows what could happen anytime I think of the cyanide pill in the tooth thing, I always think about that like part of aeon flux.

Speaker 3 55:31

I don't know if any of you watch that when? They're like making out across the train and they're like tong is using to like grab the the note from the tooth.

Speaker 1 55:39

Yeah, that's all I got. Uh, what do you boys got hell orthon? Yeah, there you go fuck corbin kentucky.

Speaker 2 55:52

Fuck them, fuck them hard, fuck him right. Also, stay paranoid. Someone from Corbin, kentucky, is going to come fuck you.

Speaker 4 55:59

Focusing all my mental energy on not pissing my pants right now go go pee in a sweet porcelain throne, my man.

Speaker 1 56:09

Yeah, jason, what do you got?

Speaker 3 56:11

sit down while you do it enjoy it.

Speaker 2 56:14

Yeah, sit down, take a load off man. Stay fucking paranoid. Never touch pipes Ever. Don't go near them, don't look at them wrong, don't touch them. You might get sucked off.

Speaker 3 56:25

If it ain't a crack pipe, it ain't worth your time.

Speaker 2 56:30

And even then you won't remember.

Speaker 4 56:31

Doug, what do you got?

Speaker 3 56:34

If you're, you should when you and if you, mike, what do you got?

Speaker 1 56:41

I already did my bit. Bye everybody, have a day, bye bye.

Speaker 4 57:02

Don't look under the internet, bye.