Don't Look Under the Internet
Don't Look Under the Internet
DLUTI 179 - Cthulhu Corner: Tsathoggua
This week Doug and Jason dive into a Lovecraft thingy. We talk about the dude with a weird bod and ample...chestage.
Starting your own podcast? Use this link to receive a $20 Amazon gift card when you sign up for a paid account with Buzzsprout!
https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=1671664
Linktree
Buy us a beer!
Join us in Discord!
DLUTI.com
Unplanned Podnancy
Undefined Graphics (Photography & Graphic Design)
Ghoulish Mortals
Inquiries: dlutipod@gmail.com
Don't Look Under The Internet
PO BOX 6437
Aurora IL 60598
Don't look under the internet.
Speaker 4:I'm hitting the recording button and I'm doing it hello and welcome to movie phone no if you would like to see you, me and Dupree. Hello and welcome to Moviefone. No, If you would like to see you, me and Dupree press 1 now.
Speaker 3:Nope, nope, we're done.
Speaker 4:You have chosen 5 for the last Mimsy. What the fuck. Welcome to Don't Look Under the Internet.
Speaker 3:A show where we're here.
Speaker 4:That's a show that shows you, we care, yeah, there we go. Yeah, I like that. That's jason, hello, hello. That's we don, and I'm Mike. It's so nice to see you all. I don't know why I wouldn't you went straight into fucking Joker. Oh, batman bats, bats yeah, we're hi, we're back and we're doing it live, as always. We're gonna do something very fun. First off, there's no housekeeping was done last week.
Speaker 4:Go fuck yourself because, again, keep in mind everyone, we're doing two recordings in one night, because we record twice a week now how many times a month?
Speaker 2:some Tuesdays at 630 central yeah, or if you really want to feel special, you can pay us, you can pay us and you can come watch three to four episodes instead, and then we'll read your chat in between when we're recording.
Speaker 1:Because you're special and you give us money, so you earn that privilege.
Speaker 3:One of those things is because of the other Money.
Speaker 4:Anyway, everyone. So you earn that privilege, One of those things is because of the other. Yeah, money, anyway, everyone. Money, anyway, everyone, yeah, so enjoy our next episode. Doug and Jason, you might be able to tell us a bit more about this episode that we're talking about. We might be.
Speaker 3:We are and can and will. That was great, unplanned but awesome. Um, I don't know. Do you want to do? You want to intro it? Do you want me to intro it? How do we want to do this? Yeah, so, um, we haven't played a nice little soft one of these in a while.
Speaker 5:um, if you haven't figured it out yet, because mike's um not doing some long-winded weird bird scooter, we're doing a Cthulhu Corner today.
Speaker 3:I had nothing for this one there's no way to bird scooter any of this.
Speaker 4:Do you ever think dark thoughts about things that you can't explain or comprehend?
Speaker 2:Literally have you ever?
Speaker 5:wanted to try to explain things that are unexplainable. Bobby, yeah, so we're doing a Cthulhu Corner. It's been a while, I guess.
Speaker 3:It's been a fucking minute.
Speaker 5:Yeah, today we're going to cover a guy, a real chill guy.
Speaker 3:Not according. To.
Speaker 4:Death May Die.
Speaker 5:Sathagua.
Speaker 4:Sathagua, sathagua. To Sathagua To Sathagua.
Speaker 3:Actually, let's sathagua to sathagua to sathagua we're gonna make Mike try and pronounce it, and then we tell him how it is pronounced so he's sathagua figure out how to fucking spell it.
Speaker 5:I want you to follow along, mike, during this whole thing and there's actually a handful of names that hopefully Jason will catch the cue. But during this whole thing and there's actually a handful of names that, uh, hopefully jason can like we'll catch the cue. But uh like, as we're reading through, I'm gonna just stop and I'm all.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna just be like all right, mike, you say it hell yeah, I love a good quiz I have tried to put multiple different spellings into google and it's tried to correct me multiple several times and it's like I don't fucking know right now I'm what did you start with? Well, I just sounded it out s-a-t-h-a-g-o-o-a-s-a-t-h-a-g-o-o-a. Well, it starts with a t. It does start with a t. Okay, that's probably where I'm going around. We'll give you that one. Prince Satagood Facebook.
Speaker 4:Again.
Speaker 5:A lot of these names. I just want to preface all of this. I don't know the. I don't know what the correct Pronunciations are, to be fair.
Speaker 3:Here's a better preface, which is Humans are actually not meant to Be able to say these names.
Speaker 5:That's why they all sound so fucked there, there, there is, and if I had to say it, uh, there is um, a couple ways to say this, and it's sathagu from what I've heard. I should say um, and then there's Sathugua.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:I don't really care, or how Mike said it T Sathaguagua Old.
Speaker 4:Sath Old Guga.
Speaker 5:Old Sath.
Speaker 1:Old Guga, old Guga.
Speaker 4:Is there more to this guy than just his fucked up name? Oh damn it.
Speaker 2:We just did this for 21 minutes.
Speaker 3:That's the whole episode, Matt I meant to grab my.
Speaker 5:I have a little mini figure of this guy. Oh yeah fuck, he's a fat little bitch.
Speaker 3:He's a fucking, he's a fat zitty pimply bat frog Well tell us more.
Speaker 5:He's got some tits.
Speaker 3:He's got some fat tits on him. He's got some big old titties.
Speaker 5:Yeah, tell's, just get just a straight intro on Seth Agua. So they're also known as the Sleeper of N'Kai. I'm sure that's not how you say that, but that's fine. He's in a. That scared the ever-loving shit out of me, boy, holy fuck.
Speaker 1:Lissa just scared the shit out of me. I thought you were going to tell me.
Speaker 3:Dude, I think Mike and I we went to the same place like, holy fuck, someone just broke in and you are so dead, we're living it sorry, hold hold please you getting the old bat frog out batty froggy okay, so this little guy? Yeah, look at those oh he do got some boobies on him. Oh, he's got some tits. Those them areolas. They cover some fucking ground.
Speaker 5:I'm assuming Lissa's listening, so thank you, lissa yeah, she is, and it's actually really funny when I went out there on our little break. Um, when you put the like be right back screen up, it's just. It's just you guys talking, yeah, yeah and uh, I thought it was oh yeah anyways.
Speaker 5:So so that's uh fat tits mcgee's ex um. So he's uh obviously a fictional entity in the cthulhu mythos. The character was created by Clark Ashton Smith for his series of short stories the Hyperborean Circle. And if you didn't know where Hyperborea is, it's present day Greenland.
Speaker 3:It's.
Speaker 5:Antarctica, and I really.
Speaker 3:No, it's Greenland, so Greenland do you mean red, white and blue? Yeah, it's that blue area. Do you mean red?
Speaker 5:white and blue. Don't topical. May mike don't stop topical. No, we don't talk about red, white and blue land, all right so it's stupid anyway.
Speaker 5:Go all right anyways. So, uh, yeah, various pieces of this have actually been used by lovecraft, even though it wasn't created by him, which is actually really cool, because most of the time we see a lot of Lovecraft stuff being used by other artists and not the other way around. But that's the cool thing about the Lovecraft or the Cthulhu mythos is that everyone can make things and use things and do whatever they want with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, essentially so did he pull it straight from the 3.5 handbook or like yes?
Speaker 5:so seth agua is described as an old one um, a godlike being, from that that pantheon um, and he first appears in a story called the tale of santampra zero um, and that was written in 1929. And basically it came out in a 1931 issue of Weird Tales, which is pretty cool because that's where like Call of Cthulhu was published and At the Mountains of Madness was like introduced.
Speaker 5:So like if you ever find one of these magazines. You're sitting on a fucking gold mine, by the way, so that's really cool and I'm always on the lookout for that shit when I go thrifting, but either way, his first appearance in print, however, was in HP Lovecraft's story the Whisper in the Darkness, and that was written in 1930 and also published in 1931. Two weird tales, of course, published in 1931. Um, two weird tales, of course. So, uh, lovecraft mentions him in nine different stories, not counting an unfinished, fragmented one that would later become the lurker at the threshold, um and this makes the most, one of the most mentioned deities in the lovecraft fiction, which is kind of cool um, tied with yogsathoth, uh, and losing uh to, of course, nair lathotep to he's the most stories, yeah um and it's the money and shub's 11 stories, the black.
Speaker 5:So yeah, sathagu is, is is, uh, only not the only one of those like giants that haven't wasn't created by lovecraft, um, like shub, and uh, yeah, never appears physically in lovecraft stories, except for the mention of a wax sculpture in the horror, uh, in the museum, which is kind of interesting. Um, you want to? You want to give a description on what this do I have?
Speaker 3:to talk about what this fucking thing looks like. I mean, you've got the the, you have one iteration. I will say that if you guys haven't picked up on something yet, it's that all of these entities and beings have multiple ways to present themselves to whoever they want reminds me of the getrog monster with wings.
Speaker 5:Yes, oh my god shit, he is the getrog. It's the getrog monster. It's a colored picture. I don't know if it's coming up very well or not.
Speaker 4:Yeah, the Spotify guys are going to love it.
Speaker 5:If you're listening to this on Spotify, grow up.
Speaker 3:It's like if Jabba the Hutt had legs Big, meaty, powerful legs. I just love how fat his tits are. They're so large In almost every iteration they're like every huge boobs big old boobies, definite mommy milkers fucking honking and there ain't no milk in them suckers. That's where the whole circle on.
Speaker 3:Unimaginable is yeah wiggity, wham, wham, wazzle, um. So yeah, uh, sathagu, um. The first description of this motherfucker uh in the mythos is when, oh my god, when was this? This was, uh, the tale of zatampra zai. Zeros, um, that word first description happens in that, and it's it's when they this was the tale of Zatampra Zairos. That word First description happens in that, and it's when they encounter one of this entity's idols. Now, I know I said I would mention fucking Mountains of Madness. One of the outcroppings that holds a shrine to Yig is basically polar opposite to another one that's been destroyed. That one is also one of these shrines that would have um an idol in it for worship um which one?
Speaker 4:was it randy jackson or simon? Which idol? Simon? Simon powell or which? Yeah, I mean yeah, I'm in simon powell yeah or the other one, the lady whose name I forgot. This famous singer. Wait, no, it's colin powell. Sorry, colin powell. Yeah, it's colin powell.
Speaker 5:Okay, simon powell, herschel walker, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whose name I forgot. It's famous singer. Wait, no, sorry, colin Powell.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's Colin Powell, okay, Simon Powell, herschel Walker? I don't know. Yeah, so this is the description that we get from the tale of Zatampra Zeros. He was very squat and pot bellied. His head was more like a monstrous toad than a deity and his whole body was covered with an imitation of short fur, giving somehow a vague sensation of both bat and the sloth. His sleepy lids were half lowered over his globular eyes, the tip of a queer tongue issued from his fat mouth.
Speaker 5:They just like went in on this guy.
Speaker 3:This is like this is this is like the DK rap all over again. Like this is they're just shitting on him. Like just absolutely shitting on him. Like, have you ever seen a fat idiot? Well, have you seen a stupid motherfucker that's fat and has tits and is furry Um and another story uh called the seven gasesasses um, yeah, so dear hey zoomer, fans, here we are um, so this is actually, this is yeah there's actually a lot of there's a lot of information in this, uh, this little passage, um, and that's as long as you know anything about the history, the timeline of the Cthulhu Mythos, which is honestly the very first thing that we went over in this little mini-series we do.
Speaker 1:So if you want to know, more same.
Speaker 3:It gives a guide map. And if you do want to go back and reference that a little bit more. It's going to come up in this description. I need to go back and reference it. Same From the seven ghiases you must win to that secret cave in the bowels of vormithadreth. I know we talked about vormithadreth. Yeah, obviously we did, obviously we haven't done the vormi yet, but we have not.
Speaker 3:We've talked about the planet, though, for sure. Yeah, um, beyond the dens wherein abides, from elder most eons, the God Sathagua. You shall know Sathagua by his great girth and his bat like furriness. Right now we're talking the look of a sleepy black toad which he has eternally.
Speaker 3:He will rise not from his place and come, he will rise, not from his place, even in the ravening of hunger, but will wait in divine slothfulness for the sacrifice. Um, so that actually this is a very, very telling passage about, like what this motherfucker is all about it's just a lazy frog sloth, so sathagu is often found sleeping. That's on, that's his like default almost every time yes, um, he's very fucking lazy.
Speaker 5:Refuses to leave his chambers unless actually like mortally threatened, like his life's in danger um, it'd be like another elder god, would be like the only reason to make him leave.
Speaker 3:Pretty much, yeah this is if nibbler had the, the political sway of like a, just a god, like. That's what this is cute, fuzzy, very fat, unfortunately not like nibbler, but doesn't do much kind of sleeps and bums around. If somebody wakes him up, well, that's his next meal does he take like oh you woke me up. Thousand pound shits I would hope so, based on his fucking girth. He is known for his girth.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they did say that.
Speaker 3:And a girthy boy has a girthy poop, I think. How many Keurigs does he have? How many? What Keurigs? How many Keurigs does he have?
Speaker 2:I don't fucking know how many Keurigs can you shove up there.
Speaker 3:Take that, multiply it by 7.3, and you got your number.
Speaker 2:I got at least 15 Kecas riding around in my colon right now.
Speaker 3:Unpunctured.
Speaker 5:Just waiting for a rush.
Speaker 2:I just kind of squeeze and pop one of them if I'm feeling a little tired.
Speaker 5:It's like those poppable menthol cigarettes. You're just like ooh, I'll take a little.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, I forgot about those. Oh boy, 9 am. So if you wake Seth and go up, you are his next meal. However, if you wake him up but you bring a sacrifice, he goes you know what? Okay, at least you tried and instead of you he devours the sacrifice instead. But that is basically this whole thing's fucking life.
Speaker 5:It sleeps but I I took out a part of this section that I thought was kind of funny, but it was too long and didn't make sense. But I just want to mention that there was one instance where somebody brought someone for him to eat and Seth Agua hated the guy so much that he ate him instead.
Speaker 3:I let the sacrifice live. Yeah, oh, that's fucking great why are they?
Speaker 4:do they get anything for sacrificing someone to Seth Agua? It's like an offering essentially. Yeah, it's an. Why are they like?
Speaker 3:do they get anything for sacrificing someone to?
Speaker 5:well sometimes they're offering essentially yeah, like it's it's in.
Speaker 3:Just like every sacrifice, ritual sacrifice that you might offer to a deity, they're doing it in hopes that this deity will give them so now my crops will be okay he'll give you like magic and shit like he would give you yeah, he gives you actual shit. What do I have to sacrifice?
Speaker 2:to get a suckle of some of that teat what I don't think you have to sacrifice just some sanity, I think, what will I have to sacrifice?
Speaker 4:for him to help me get these cake ups out of my head. Uh, he'll suck them right out um, oh fuck where was?
Speaker 3:I right, eats whoever awakened him, otherwise he's a sacrifice. Blah, blah, um. So have we talked about robert price? I'm pretty sure his name has come up a couple of times. Oh, I know, there's
Speaker 2:so many just like generic will, hansons and shit.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Stories.
Speaker 3:Robert Price is a is a if. If HP, lovecraft is the scribe, uh, robert Price is one of the scribes, apostles Like they're. He basically took on a lot of work. Um, when it comes to adding to the Lovecraft mythos, you're going to see his name all over the place. Um, he does note that Lovecraft, sathagua and smiths differ at practically every point. So, smith, another lovecraftian, uh, cthulhu mythos contributor um has taken upon himself to give his own set of rules to sathagua. I will say that's not really breaking many rules, because not many rules were given for sathagua. Just that he's fat, he is a bat and he's a frog. Like that's pretty much the three things that we know about sathagua. And he's lazy, I guess. Um, so lovecraft. Um, after after we hear these bat and sloth comparisons, um, we look at the how it was presented in the whisper, in the darkness um lovecraft was like hold my beer, guys oh yeah, he's just like hold, you guys are not doing this correctly.
Speaker 3:Hold on, this is what. This is what sathago is. Sathago is an amorphous, toad-like god creature mentioned in the uh necotic manuscripts and the Necronomicon. However, both Lovecraft and Smith portray Seth as capable of shapeshifting. Fucking weird, I know right, it's almost like every fucking being in this mythos can shapeshift.
Speaker 4:That seems to be the go-to ability.
Speaker 3:That's how they hide. That's how they make sure that they can get intel on what's happening on Earth, the place with the hidden Yacoubian cube, the all important planet in the universe, all spark it's.
Speaker 3:it's basically the same thing, um that's actually funny that you mentioned that um, so in the story, uh, the horror in the museum, um, it's a, it's, this was a story that was actually ghost written by lovecraft. Uh, he didn't write it, but he did give pretty much every detail when it, uh, he expressed what he wanted and then it was given to him by some unknown person. Um, it was written that black, black Sathagua molded itself from a toad like gargoyle, into a sinuous line with hundreds of rudimentary feet. So some very, very there's some details that come up differently the hundreds of feet, the fur covering the whole thing, frog like mouth. A lot of these are very, very similar and very fundamental when it comes to describing Sathagua. Sathagua is capable of communicating with humans. Thank fucking God, he knows English, can't wait to talk to this thing, including its cultists, obviously, and occasionally rewards them for their services by offering occult knowledge or gifts such as presenting oh fuck, what is this?
Speaker 4:Does he let them know about discounts? Chili's has two for one margaritas on tuesdays, perfect, and they're like here's a child, he's a child, yeah and you get two margaritas for the price of one child, gives him the coupon, right?
Speaker 3:um, so, uh, yeah, so in the story, the door to saturn, um, this is uh, there's a, there's a device that do I even. I don't think I should even go over much of this. I'd have to go over the whole fucking story and I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 5:Um, you don't know that it's. The story is fucking wild though, but it is um I'm, I'm.
Speaker 3:I don't think we should touch on it, because that's going to just open a can of worms and ask more questions than it answers.
Speaker 5:I made this one kind of long and I was like almost thinking about like putting in a bunch of little blurbs about some of this other stuff. But I was like no, no.
Speaker 3:I think the important stuff is that he's a fat bat frog covered in hair. I will say it's not agreed upon whether Sathagua communicates with speech or telepathy. Um, it might be a combination of both. All we know is that whenever Sathagua speaks, whoever is hearing him can understand what he is saying, as long as the message is intended for that person. Um so like, just for example, when it speaks to one person, they hear a quote, unquote deep, rumbling sound, but knew not whether it reverberated the dusky air or their own mind, and the sound shaped itself, albeit uncouthly, into syllables and words. This is also an excerpt from the seven Giyases, other forms. As a god, sethaku can alter his shape the better to adapt to whatever environment he is in when dwelt on. Uh, jesus Christ, psychronauts, it's a planet. It's another name for Saturn, the old name for Saturn. What?
Speaker 3:was named before we named it Right Was psychronauts, um, also from the story door to Saturn, um, this next name that's coming up. This is all, mike right.
Speaker 5:I want.
Speaker 3:Mike to say this is Mike. So from this story we kind of glean that he possibly, quite possibly, might look more like his paternal uncle by the name, his paternal uncle, let me get my cheaters on it's like the last line.
Speaker 4:His, his let me get my cheaters on.
Speaker 3:It's like the last line. You can't just say this first syllable over and over again. I'm trying not to.
Speaker 4:I don't know, because Quagmaza.
Speaker 3:Quagmaza. So Quagmaza, how close am I? I don't know, because human tongues are not meant to pronounce this word.
Speaker 4:You tricked me. You tricked me, I'm cursed or something.
Speaker 5:I will let you know just a little bit about this thing. It looks like balls that have those little handles that you had as a kid and you would like jump and like bounce on them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's kind of like that. No, it's a big inflatable ball.
Speaker 4:Like you'd sit on it, but it has a handle. Oh yeah, it looks like that.
Speaker 5:It's like a big ball with a long-ass head and like bug arms. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Um. So, no one knows how to pronounce that name. You guys just fucked with me on that. You set me up for fail. No one knows how to pronounce it.
Speaker 3:Someone wrote it down, I'm going to write the alphabet From A to Z, and I want you to pronounce that word.
Speaker 2:It even laughs at you. You try to pronounce it and then it laughs at you. Ha, stupid fuck. You try to pronounce it and then it laughs at you. It's like his ha stupid fuck.
Speaker 3:Um, I think, yeah, that's all I got for the description, though there's a lot of different opinions about what he looks like, but they all centralize around bat frog big bat frog, mommy milkers, some ho dong bong gong gurus where does this fucker live, doug? How do we get a hold of this piece of shit?
Speaker 5:That's a great question and I can only answer that with about three quotes that I have from the book. So the first one is from the Mound that HP Lovecraft wrote. Mound that hp lovecraft wrote, and it said this was a squat, plain temple of basalt blocks without a single carving and containing only a vacant onyx pedal uh, pedestal. The remarkable thing about it was its story, for it was a link with a fabled elder world, compared to which even cryptic yoth was a thing of yesterday. If you've never read lovecraft, by the way, uh, it's hard to it's.
Speaker 5:It's very old, it's old english, it's hard to read. It is hard to read, so okay, uh, continuing on. It had been built in imitation of certain temples depicted in the vaults of zen to house a very terrible black toad idol found in the red litten world and called sathagu. In the yathic manuscripts. It had been a potent and widely worshipped god and, after its adoption by the people of kenyan, had lent its name to the city which was later to become dominant in the region. Yathic legends said that it had come from a mysterious inner realm beneath the red litten world, a black realm of peculiar sensed beings which had no light at all but which had a great civilization and mighty gods.
Speaker 3:Before ever the reptilian quadrupeds of yoth came into being, I think this is a reference to what something is colloquially, colloquially referred to as the dark world, which is like an in-between between life and death. I think yeah.
Speaker 5:I don't know for sure. However, it really this kind of explains, like why he's such a sloth and why he doesn't do a whole lot, because the world that he was worshipped in in this quotation is one of no light and its followers were like like it was like bug people.
Speaker 3:we are bug people um, if you want to look up a fun thing that resides in that world, check out. Uh, it's an. It's a being called a vanguard and those things are. It's essentially something that has one foot in that world, one foot in ours, and can communicate and search for things based on whoever's eyes it's looking through.
Speaker 5:Super cool yeah, so, um, this next quote, uh, it's kind of similar. Um, this one is from in, uh, the whisper in darkness. It says they've been inside the earth too. There are openings which human beings know nothing of. Some of them are in these very vermont hills and great worlds of unknown life down there, blue lit and kinyan kinyan uh, red and black, lightless in kai.
Speaker 5:It's from in kai that frightful sathagu came. You know the amorphous toad like god creature mentioned in the pneumonic narcotic manuscripts in the necronomicon and the common myth cycle preserved by the Atlantean high priest Clarkash Tan. You know, clarkash Tan.
Speaker 4:Sounds like a Star Trek character.
Speaker 3:Yeah they really do.
Speaker 4:I ran out of creativity.
Speaker 3:So like Clarkish, Clarkish Tan.
Speaker 4:What do you think this guy's name?
Speaker 1:is? I think he looks like Clarkish Tom.
Speaker 3:Yeah, as much as I love fucking cthulhu, mythos, shit, uh, the names are fucking wild. Some of it's just fucking silly like yeah, all right.
Speaker 5:Last quote um in ancient eras, seth igua lived for a long time on yugoth along with its parents, gizizgoth and Mike.
Speaker 4:Oh, I'm up again. Gizgoth, get the fuck out of here. And Are you fucking serious what?
Speaker 3:is this. There's no vowels, so figure it out.
Speaker 4:Z-Styles Hem-G, hem-hem, z-styles, hem-genie, the Styles.
Speaker 3:Hem-Genie Z-Styles.
Speaker 5:Hem-Genie Z-Styles, hem the styles, hem genie the styles hem genie, the styles, hem genie, I just like gizguth gizguth is great.
Speaker 4:I'm fully under the impression that whoever was creating half this shit had a stroke while they were penning it and they were like, no, just do that, make that a name and make it so no one can pronounce it, just roll with it. He wrote it, we have no time, shove it out, go um, all right.
Speaker 5:So, yeah, lived with the, so lived with its parents deep underground caves live his parents basements fucking loser dude.
Speaker 3:I'm laughing at the fact that Doug thought for half a second that he might try and pronounce something and goes nope, fuck, no.
Speaker 5:Lived in his parents' basement. Now I have to talk about his cannibalistic granddad, fucking Cazax Kulof. There's too many X's Doug, allow me.
Speaker 4:Let the professional handle this. Cazax Kulof. There's too many X's, doug, allow me. There's too many X's. Let the professional handle this. Kazaxcloth, kazaxcloth, kazazucloth, kazazucloth, kazazucloth.
Speaker 5:Eventually, sathagua Moved to Cyclonosh or Saturn, and then later to Earth, traveling from one world to the next by moving between. Sathagua moved to uh, cyclonosh or Saturn, and then later to Earth, traveling from one world to the next by moving between dimensions, as opposed to crossing the gulfs of space. Um, it's first emerged deep beneath the surface of the Earth, in the light, uh, lightless underground land of Enkai, which we had mentioned before, and from there Sathagagu eventually moved closer to the surface and dwelt inside mount vorm and uh, mythadreth and hyperborea, but then returned after the continent iced over.
Speaker 3:So I actually think it's the admiralty mountain range. If we actually want to know what, what this mountain is, I'm pretty sure it's the tallest so is this supposed to be taking place way, way, way back in the earth's beginnings?
Speaker 4:oh, this is yeah, or?
Speaker 3:something is when. Do you remember when we talked about the Elder Things coming to Earth?
Speaker 1:Fire Island and there's a war going on between With the vampire.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, after the Star Vampire, after the Fire Vampires around the time of the Elder Things and Shogoths. God, fucking Lovecraft was a fucking nerd dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, huge His fire.
Speaker 4:Vampires came to earth and there's a cube that they're trying to conquer huge nerd from the guy who, like fucking loves lord of the rings yeah, I like good cinema, they're taking it to the fucking. Yeah, that's what you said I like good cinema. What are you trying to say?
Speaker 1:you're a fucking nerd got him, got him, got him, I could hear the let's hurry it up from Mike.
Speaker 2:I just got pee, real fucking bad go pee.
Speaker 5:We're not needed right now you know that's a good point. You should just have a piss can.
Speaker 2:Below your thing I drank two sodas before the last episode, and then a cup of coffee, and then I had to pee, and then, between these episodes, I drank two more sodas.
Speaker 4:Did you pop two K-cups up your ass? That's what I should have done. Now you really have to pee. Let's call it the penis spittoon. I'll make a sacrifice for you to fucking Sathagua, that way he can just take all the pee out of your body.
Speaker 2:I got you. Can you get me some Kenyan gats while you're at it?
Speaker 4:I got you.
Speaker 5:Kenyan gats. But I think the last thing I have about where Mr Toad has lived I think the most recent one is that he now resides in a ruined undercity, underwater city of youth, which is technically near the Bahamas, Yep.
Speaker 4:Oh, so he vacationed to a nice sunny area.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 4:Respect my boy Sathy.
Speaker 5:Alright, who worships this fat fuck, Jason, Honestly he sounds like my kind of guy already.
Speaker 4:I'm just saying Kind of same, though.
Speaker 5:It'm just saying I mean kind of same, though it's pretty great.
Speaker 3:It's a pretty lazy life, I would chuck a dog at him.
Speaker 4:if it meant he gave me magical powers or something I'd be like. Your fingers are glue now, Fido, go. And then he just allows me to relax in the Poconos or something. Yeah, why not?
Speaker 3:The people who do actually worship this motherfucker. It's the patron. So Sethagua is the patron god of the Vormis, which are like furry arthropoid creatures that technically inhabited the Algofian mountains in ancient Hyperborea. Again, almost positive, this is just the admiralty mountain range in antarctica that had a larger land bridge at the time and again. If you want to find more about that, just read uh, at the mountains of madness, um, do, do, do uh. So, apparently, um, humans in Hyperborea have also been known to worship Sathagua.
Speaker 3:Now, I will say there were not many humans in Hyperborea around the time that Sathagua was kind of present and accounted for. Not a lot, but there were some, and I'm assuming that they were all kind of kept as slaves or something of the sort, especially considering that we are the handiwork of Shogoths, which was just underwater sea blob, uh, made for heavy lifting. Um, at one point, um, there was, uh, there was kind of like a, an influence or culture war. I guess Um, influencer war, I guess so, if you want to call it that, um, influencer war, I guess so, if you want to call it that, the influence of Sathagou was actually replaced with the worship of someone named Yunde and the few remaining cultists that were actually dedicated to Sathagou at that time were. I mean, they were persecuted. I'm going to go ahead and say executed. Probably that's just how these fucking beings do.
Speaker 3:If there's a worship being an executed it, was that probably probably um, oh yeah, although that the sethagua faith did experience a resurgence after this yunda kind of took over um, but this was following the quote-unquote miraculous disappearance of Eben, which is again. Eben is one of the main characters in the story the Door to Saturn. He's already learned a ton about the relations between Saturn and the mage.
Speaker 5:He's a mage, or like a wizard or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think the mad Arab actually knew what he was doing, not just writing random shit, the slightly peeved Arab. Yes, exactly the slightly upset Arab.
Speaker 5:I'm one ticked off. Arab, the lightly annoyed.
Speaker 3:So I know you guys heard me talk about, um, the story, uh, zamtra Zeros. By the time that story was written, or the time period around that that story is written about, um, uh, sathagoo is no longer worshiped by humans at all. In fact, humans had completely forgotten altogether that this bat frog like creature had existed on earth and kind of influenced our entire culture. But you know that happens, um, it's uh, the temples were abandoned. So again going back to mountains of madness, the abandoned temple.
Speaker 4:That shit never makes sense to me when it's like, oh yeah, there's this all powerful magical God that had all these magical abilities, but over time we just forgot about it. Not if like a dude was. If if a guy like I walked up to a guy and he was just like, hey, I'm gonna go chuck this goat into this monster's mouth and then I'm going to walk out with like bags full of cash, I don't think that's ever going to go away, cause people are just going to constantly go to that because it's a well of wishes you get whatever you want the thing how do you forget about that in this sense, is that it's not that people forgot because they weren't they like, couldn't get stuff from them.
Speaker 5:It's that there was somebody more powerful and giving better stuff. So you have a fat, sloth titted goat or, uh, frog, and then there's, like you know, big, strong other deity sexy god, much better things with much more people involved and gotcha okay. So he was just lots of uh. Yeah, he was just lazy, he just didn't, he to put it lightly he just didn't give a shit, he does not care.
Speaker 3:This out of everybody that we're gonna do, we are talk, have talked about or are going to talk about. He literally lived in his parents basement bro yeah, dude sathagu is like he's the biggest, laziest piece of shit. That like he's not evil, he's just not motivated.
Speaker 4:Get a job at all get a job, grow up like, do something with your life now, after saying all of this.
Speaker 3:For a very long time, he was worshipped by the Kenyans, which are oh God, no, it's K-apostrophe-N-Y-A-N that is the name of the place where these beings dwelt, assumedly human. And now, in this area, you're going to find images of Sathagua. However, in some cases, you're going to find that a lot of these images show him bound, almost like whoever is painting these pictures looks at him as almost like a prisoner instead of a god. That has not been explained. There's no real answer to why that is it's a metaphor.
Speaker 3:It could be, who knows, maybe the gods have struggles just like we do, and that's just making them more human. Who knows?
Speaker 3:Fuck them, making them more human who knows fuck them and so, but these people, the Kenyans, did end up making a bunch of idols, and throughout history you're going to find a lot of different idols that depict a fat bat frog like creature. These are supposedly created by this people. After this, the idols were were actually discovered to be not created by this group of people. It was actually created by the in kai um, which you'll remember from before that. Oh yeah, yeah, I remember um. So apparently this is just kind of like a big hand-me-down um. And again, you're going to find all of this in hp lovecraft's the mound, where you will also find that in kai's habitants and sathagu, as original worshippers, were the ravenous, formless spawn, and so it kind of links together three different races of things and it gives them an origin story, which is kind of cool very similar to how we got an origin story yeah, it's a little convoluted, but it's overly convoluted, it's hard to grasp.
Speaker 5:But they're actually Scooby Doo mask revealed they're actually the elder ones yeah, I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't
Speaker 4:for those Kenyan if it wasn't for those. Kenyan children if it wasn't for those meddling um where was I?
Speaker 3:oh yeah, um, sathagu you're also going to see is, uh, has a almost like an association by proxy to the star vampires. The only reason the star vampires and sathagu are related in any way, shape or form is that when the being known as Cthugha came to earth for the first time which I think was the first being to actually touch earth brought her star vampires with her. A war was waged, and I'm almost positive that Sathagua elected the help of the star vampires to help defeat the elder things. I want you to help me beat up to suck me off yeah.
Speaker 3:Um, oh, another important fact about sathagua and, uh, the, I guess, the hierarchy of followership um, normally it's all one rank, it's all just followers who bring sacrifices and sathagua says yes or yes to both um, and then eats one or two of the things in the room. Um, he is known and identified as a great old one, which is the same realm as, uh, cthulhu. Um, so cthulhu and sathagua are apparently kind of on the same level. Still, a step or two down from, like near lethatep, shabnagrath or azathoth were kind of known as just like staple beings that if they were to just get erased, then a lot of what we see and hear and think and feel every single day would be very fucking different, if not non-existent. Um.
Speaker 2:I could only dream Wonders.
Speaker 3:The last thing I want to say is that, if we want to get into, like the elements and a little touch a little bit on witchcraft, um, if we, if we look at the the history of the earth, we include the formation of the elementals and what they contributed to like what we have now. Um, there is a big rivalry between the natural order of earth, aka the elementals, and this outside deity that's trying to exert his own force on earth. Obviously, those are going to come to a head, um, and if you'd like to read more about that, you can go ahead and read something called the scroll of Morlock, which we'll tell you all about that, if you want to know, in a very long winded fashion.
Speaker 5:There's these creatures in that story called the napkas or I don't know how to. I don't know how to say it, but they look fucking awesome. They're like these like imagine an old man, but with like a bear head, and they have like six arms.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like goro. Yeah, it's like if goro and jack frost, the horror movie, had a baby they're pretty cool, yeah, um, but that's all I have for, uh, the servitors of the bat frog known as sathagua um, I got some fam to talk about here, some fans.
Speaker 5:It's always funny hearing that they're like they're mom and they're dad.
Speaker 3:He's my dad.
Speaker 5:He's my uncle, willie. So Ashen Smith took Lovecraft's creations to his own gods and wed them together, essentially and basically molded them like a Greek pantheon. Essentially and basically molded them like a Greek pantheon. Essentially um more than like that a cosmic group of beings that, like Lovecraft, did Right. So, uh, he assigned outlandish, like familial relationships to his gods.
Speaker 5:Oh God yeah Um making uh, the, uh, a Saturnian um, the his cool, the uncle of Sathagua, and ascribe this bizarre family tree to a parchment of Nam. I don't know what P-N-O-M, I don't know what that means, but that is actually.
Speaker 3:I think the next sentence explains it.
Speaker 4:Then he got Agent Orange. Hyper Borea's leading. There's probably a better Nam joke in there somewhere, but I would suggest it.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I was like I gotta, I was trying to redirect out of that and I was like fuck it.
Speaker 4:What's the song from every fucking Vietnam? Fucking.
Speaker 5:Fortunate.
Speaker 4:Son Fortunate, Son Fortunate Son which is the most anti-american song ever fucking written.
Speaker 3:If you read the lyrics, well, I think that's the point, but it is, it's lost on a lot of people. Yeah, we shouldn't do that.
Speaker 5:You're right man yeah, so the parchments of nom is literally just like, uh, this guy's genealogy report essentially um, and both smith and lovecraft agree that sagua is a descendant of Azathoth, but the specifics of its lineage diverge. In the family tree that is basically drawn by two different authors, khazadul Ra was the son of Sathagua, who destroyed him in a fit of jealousy Spoilers, I guess Sathagua had at least two children with his wife Shathak, wife Shathak Shathak oh my god, that's the worst one I'm pretty sure it's.
Speaker 3:Shathak welcome to the Shathak. How can I help?
Speaker 2:you but like it looks like Shathak got shacked up with Shathak and then, went down to the fuck shack.
Speaker 1:I was in the room, so I was like alright, here we go.
Speaker 5:Here comes Shack. There's a bunch of names that I'm about to butcher so many these two children. The first was Asadagawa, also known as Zavilpugahua I don't know, evil Poo, it's right. And then the normal kid name was Vorm.
Speaker 4:Vorm.
Speaker 3:I think, it's Vopagua, that's a good guess. Vopagua is what Mike landed on. I think it's Vopagua, that's a good guess.
Speaker 5:Vilpagua is what Mike landed on, I think it's Vilpagua, is the Z silent?
Speaker 4:I don't know, is the T in Sathagua silent? Listen to yourself.
Speaker 5:I don't know. I've never heard it spoken out loud.
Speaker 4:Is it Cthulhu?
Speaker 3:It's Fatty Clip.
Speaker 5:Wait, did you bring up Shathack earlier? We literally just got off. I'm I'm mad I missed it. It's fine. Um, where the fuck am I now? All right? Um, yeah, so those are the two kids. Um, there's basically uh, all of these, all of these sathagu and fucking uh descendants or whatever they fucking made. They're basically shitting out formless spawns.
Speaker 4:And I really don't like the thought of these things.
Speaker 3:One of Sathagua's children is French. Oh oui, yeah.
Speaker 2:That makes it even grosser.
Speaker 5:That's the scariest thing I've heard all day Hippolyta.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's just all day Hippolyta yeah. His name is. I'm pretty sure that's just another name for Hippolyta, which is a Greek. Is his name?
Speaker 4:Escargot, but it's spelled like a.
Speaker 1:Z in the beginning and two G's and shit.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 5:Yeah, so basically they just gave Zathigua a bunch of kids and I don't. I don't really know why they do that, but um, so who said something about the all spark earlier? Was that you mike me, that was my me. Oh, we're about to go in the other media, which I'll let jason do, but I just I had to say that there's a piece in here about the transformer transformers that one of their planets is literally colonized by a race and it's the system of where they live is named after sathagua yeah, nice, it's probably the fucking.
Speaker 4:Was it the guys that made them? What are they called nerd?
Speaker 2:something with a fucking nerd brother fuck, what does it fucking call?
Speaker 4:they call, I gotta look this up now yeah, they made, they made the, they made the transformers. So, like Doug was saying no. Seth.
Speaker 3:Agua does appear in a lot of other medias. That's what it says. No, who created the Cybertronians?
Speaker 4:Who created robots, quintessence. Thank you, quintessence, I just saw it. Thank you, quintessence. Anyway.
Speaker 3:Cool, bro, now that we've solved that mystery.
Speaker 4:The Quintessence created the Transformers. They basically made them be a slave fucking race Transformers corner.
Speaker 3:Yeah, in some pop culture, some other media that we see almost every day, depending on who you are and what you like. Seth Agua does appear in book two of the Illuminatus trilogy um, under the name saint toad saint toad.
Speaker 4:I like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like that that's a good one, saint toad. Yeah, um sathagu is also one of the components for anime I do too.
Speaker 3:I've seen, I've seen like half an episode. What's it called? Uh, so it's from the anime. Uh, hiyori, uh Nyakuru Nyaruko-san. Jesus Christ Um Sathagua is one of the components for the BLT sandwich. The other two components are Byaki and Leogar, which are both entities from the Cthulhu mythos. This anime is literally it. It humanizes all of the Cthulhu Mythos. This anime is literally it humanizes all of the Cthulhu Mythos timeline and puts them in an anime together. So it seems interesting. I'm not sure, actually, what kind of anime it is. It would have to satiate a certain genre for me to watch. That, I think, because I could also see another direction where that goes.
Speaker 2:That I don't want to see that's just a child. If you feel anything when you look at that picture, that's on you, buddy.
Speaker 3:Call that one. Sethagu is also the god that the two deus machina of the Anticross members, Vespanius and Tiberius, Sychanosh and Beelzebub were modeled after, the former being the name of said great old one's home planet, Psychronosh, which is another name for Saturn. They both possessed abilities related to the aforementioned god, notably the formless spawn and star vampires In Transformers animated. The all spark almanac to one of the many planets that was colonized by the Cybertronian race is the Hadeen system and is named after Seth Agua. Yeah, Didn't we just go over that? We did. That's what Doug was saying earlier. Very lastly, I'm sure there's more mentions, but a big one is the crossover comic Godzilla versus C Cthulhu A Death May Die Story.
Speaker 4:I do need to read that one. I've seen that online.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I want to read all the comics from that. It features Seth Agua as a main antagonist, godzilla's very Cthulhu, mythos based metal band that, uh, they have a few songs that sing about sathagua, um. And I'm sure there's one other band that is very, very cthulhu based. I'm pretty sure they have some songs by them as well. But other than that, I mean, as far as a, a being that is indescribably horrible, that is the maximum we are allowed to describe him, I think.
Speaker 5:I think we hit the word limit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yep, yep, yep. Do you guys have any questions about Batfrogman? Honestly, dude, this one's pretty straightforward.
Speaker 4:I just like how he's just a big old toad man yeah
Speaker 5:literally there's no, yeah, he just eat people I have.
Speaker 3:There's no godlike monster like literally the only like superhuman power that I like, looked at here, is obviously a immortal until killed. There's a lot more, but the other one is he's just lazy. He sleeps until people bring him sacrifices and then he eats the sacrifice, unless he doesn't like the person who brought him the sacrifice, in which case he eats both of them.
Speaker 5:There's a lot more. He's just a cat.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there's a lot more Lovecraft stuff in sorry Lovecraft stuff and Transformers, I thought oh, there's, a there's devoid elder God. There's a dude named elder God.
Speaker 3:Like there's a guy the beast, it's me elder, god or whatever. The or no. I theory on yeah interesting that. Yeah, I theory anyway, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Matt, yeah, when was the book this guy is from published?
Speaker 5:The first one, written in 29, published in 31.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pretty sure that's the same year that Tootsie Rolls were invented.
Speaker 3:I think, you're right.
Speaker 2:Holy shit, holy fuck.
Speaker 3:Maybe onto something there he might be.
Speaker 2:Are we supposed to rule?
Speaker 1:the shits of Elder God.
Speaker 4:It's because you know the answer Don't fucking do it. The answer is right here.
Speaker 1:It's 1931 or whatever you say You're right, holy fuck.
Speaker 2:Also, somebody left us a YouTube comment and said that Gargamel hasn't been brought up in a long while.
Speaker 4:Because we shot him and he died. So there hasn't been brought up in a long. There's a reason we shot him and he died. So there you go. Yeah, gargamel died. We killed him because he tried to steal my smurf and turn him into gold. So I fucked, I killed him.
Speaker 5:I killed him dead. Do you guys know what Tootsie Rolls are made of?
Speaker 3:Tootsies.
Speaker 4:I really just want to know what to say. It's a little Tootsie and a pop. Anyway, everybody does that make a big one.
Speaker 5:a get, I don't want to say anything, it's a little Tootsie and a pop. Anyway, everybody.
Speaker 2:Does that make a big one. A gat, a gat room, a Tootsie gat, no, no.
Speaker 3:Doug, we can't share that special information with the people because we will do an episode on Tootsie rolls, I'm fucking sure.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Be on the lookout, fuckers, build a mystique.
Speaker 4:I think that settles it for Cthulhu Corner.
Speaker 3:I believe it has been described as much as an indescribable being can be described he's been corned his corn has been cobbed thank you everyone for joining us.
Speaker 4:as always, we're probably on whatever social you're on don't look under the internet. Send us an email. Always peep socials. We're probably on whatever social you're on Don't look under the internet or the LudiPod. Boom bam, send us email. Ludipod at gmailcom Shouts out to Ghoulish. Mortals and to Undefined Graphics. Mike Lowy, look him up if you want graphic design or photography work, or just to say hi to a handsome fun man.
Speaker 4:That too. If you come across a toad man, feed him a tooth and he might. Or your friend, he might give you wealth beyond your wildest dreams, or jizz fingers, or he might just give you jizz fingers, I don't know, it might be like a monkey's mouth thing.
Speaker 5:Would you rather have jizz or spaghetti shooting out of your fingers?
Speaker 3:Would you rather have jizz or fingers? Okay, hang on, hang on. Hang on, hang on because there's something that's going to sway me.
Speaker 2:Subscribe to the Patreon and find out what our answer is Nailed it, nailed it.
Speaker 4:Nailed it.
Speaker 2:There we go Hell.
Speaker 4:Yeah, boy, what do you? Got to say Jason, Anything.
Speaker 3:Yeah, as always, stay fucking paranoid If you see a bat and a frog in the same second. Just die, just end it. You're done, that's.
Speaker 2:That's all, douglas bean bean frog bat tits the bullet points of the episode Matt honestly, you just boiled down the whole episode to four seconds, like you know if you're listening to this, I hope that you've made it through most of your day without just experiencing existential dread, and if we could provide that service for you, you're welcome.
Speaker 4:I was really hoping you'd say if you're listening to this, don't.
Speaker 2:I thought that's where that was going, if you can move, don't, just don't, well, you were always funnier than me. So just keep correcting my jokes. Tell me what would tell me, what would have been funnier to say. And then and then the listeners get two jokes for the price of one and a half in this economy, that's a steal, jesus Christ. There's no tariffs on that? Yeah, but they're working on it, so get it while you can.
Speaker 1:Bye everybody.
Speaker 3:We love you, guys, thank you for sticking around.
Speaker 2:Goodbye don't look under the internet.
