Don't Look Under the Internet
Don't Look Under the Internet
DLUTI 181 - Geocities and the Long Bone Library
This week, Doug buys a soda from the '90s, Jason fills a bathtub with milk, Matt eats a hamburger, and Mike buys a used car from a man named Ling.
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Don't look under the internet oh man, that fucking brain worm is really on a tangent right now I love it.
Speaker 2:I gotta put the popcorn away because I'm still eating it, even though I said I wasn't going to smack, you're gonna turn into a popcorn brother.
Speaker 4:You said that You're going to turn into a popcorn brother, jesus Christ. You said that with the same verbiage as the what's up brother guy.
Speaker 5:That's exactly what I thought of.
Speaker 4:What's up, brother?
Speaker 5:It's.
Speaker 4:Tuesday, brother Tuesday.
Speaker 3:Man, what a time.
Speaker 4:All right, let's get into it. Jesus, I got to cough it out. I got to cough the RFK out.
Speaker 5:It's slithering out like a worm, pick a marker. There's seven in four seconds. All right, ready yeah.
Speaker 4:Yes, Hello everyone Welcome to don't look under the internet. I love you. Shut up, I love you too, fan, sit down, sit, sit sit down. I love you too.
Speaker 2:What is happening we're?
Speaker 3:not sure anymore.
Speaker 5:Mike watched Megamind the other day. Now, that's all he can think of and I love you, random.
Speaker 1:Citizen now I'm going to look on the internet.
Speaker 4:Internet comedy horror podcast starring yours truly, jason hello. We got.
Speaker 3:Doug, what is up, my guys, we got.
Speaker 5:Matt cool, we got Matt.
Speaker 4:Cool.
Speaker 5:We got Matt. He's trying Fuck you we got me too.
Speaker 4:I'm here as well. There we go.
Speaker 2:Hey, Matt, remember the last time when we said that this is the worst, yeah.
Speaker 5:We're just one of ourselves.
Speaker 4:This one's going a little bit better. Yeah, you say worst, I say about par.
Speaker 5:For course, I don't see a difference Exactly.
Speaker 4:I'm going to hit us. I'm going to hit us with a good old fashioned Clap Above your head, housekeeping Gotcha bitch. I'm going to hit us with a good old fashioned clap. Housekeeping gotcha bitch, there is none, oh you got us cause we record twice.
Speaker 2:We were expecting housekeeping, but there wasn't any.
Speaker 1:I hate this, I don't enjoy this.
Speaker 2:I need to go past this are you? Supposed to be doing the.
Speaker 4:Rizzler thing yeah, what's the Rizzler thing? What does he do? Yeah?
Speaker 3:he shushes you and then does the jaw.
Speaker 4:I don't know. I'm not fucking 20 again. I'm a 31 year old man who doesn't understand. I don't understand.
Speaker 2:Gen Z humor. Anyway, we have no housekeeping, we have none Straight into it, mike, quick bird scooter Straight into it burst.
Speaker 4:So, instead of housekeeping, you know what we're going to fucking do. Instead, go right into our topic of our episode Boys. I'm feeling weird today. More weirdness, huh, I'm feeling weird, and that means our topics are going to be weird, but not weird instagrams or reddits like we may have done previously, or in the future, depending on how we decide to do this. Santa claus no worse than santa claus. It's his brother pants a clause.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm glad you tried.
Speaker 4:I'm glad you tried because I was gonna say no, I'm feeling weird. So I sent the boys a couple websites that I made them look up. They never saw these websites before I sent them to them and now they get to try to describe to all of you what the fuck I sent to them. Um, I need you to go last.
Speaker 5:I know, I know.
Speaker 4:So I started with the last episode. Doug, I'm going to have you start today, okay.
Speaker 3:So where do we start other?
Speaker 1:than the beginning. Am I right?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so Mike sent me this website. It's pretty stupid, Thanks.
Speaker 4:Doug.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, he sends me this website. It's called. The URL is PackardBell95.com. Slash fortune. Wow, okay, if you don't know what Packard Bell? Yeah, it was a fucking computer manufacturing company. They made some other shit too, but Usually it's.
Speaker 2:Netscape.
Speaker 3:That's enough background that you. Yeah, they had the Netscape shit. They actually had this. Like when I was doing some Looking into this a bit more, I was like looking at some Packard Bell shit. They made this like virtual house thing.
Speaker 3:I don't know if you guys remember it but it was like it's such a like a 90s like vibe, like I don't even know how to describe it, but it's like every 90s game summed up into one thing, but it wasn't even a game, doesn't matter, totally off topic, but uh. So, yeah, you go to this packard bell website, um, and you are greeted with the utmost of vaporwave aesthetic. Um and a uh, you see a fortune. There's a little book with a question mark and if you click that, uh, it just gives you a bunch of like pop-ups, like a bunch of like, different worded, like it says don't be afraid with a copy cup or the medium is the most the message. It just says it just goes through a bunch. But the whole point of this is that if you click on the fortune teller, it asks you if you'd like to seek your fortune and you can click no, thank you, and it'll go back, or you can hit guide me towards my fate once you click on that, you get a pop-up.
Speaker 3:This pop-up is different every day. This is, it's a fortune. You're gonna get a different one every day. Um, this one today. It says small confidences, mark the onset of friendship. Uh, yesterday it said um a smooth, long journey, great expectations show. Um, it just says something different every day. Now what happens is if you click on the pop-up, it kind of goes away. It comes back. You can just keep doing that, but eventually the vending machine puts out a pop. You can click on the soda and actually I think it does something different every day. So let's see what it does today. So today it's filling up the screen with green liquid. You always see bubbles and then you get a butterfly. That kind of shows up on screen after a little bit.
Speaker 3:Once the butterfly is there, it's. I'm pretty sure that's like the MSN butterfly, because it takes you into an MSN chat and you're talking to.
Speaker 3:Well, I don't know who you're talking to, but it's Winter player obviously asl yeah, um, it just says a bunch of stuff uh, yesterday it was talking about colors and uh, or, actually it gives you a lucky color every day. It looks like, um, but yeah, it kind of just goes through some random stuff and you know, it says put in earplugs, your daily lucky celestial body is the green ring nebula. Your lucky color of the day is green, with a specific hex code and you can try and click on other stuff, but really the only thing you click on is buy. Once you do that, it takes you back to that screen that you were just at with the same fortune pop-up and uh, yeah, it just kind of cycles through that and you can get a new fortune every day.
Speaker 3:And I tried to look in, I tried to inspect the page source. I didn't see anything too wild. Um, there, there wasn't any like secret stuff going on. I tried clicking on like literally like damn near everything, and there just wasn't. There's just nothing on. I tried clicking on literally damn near everything and there just wasn't. There's just nothing else to click on. Did you do the Konami?
Speaker 4:code into the D-pad on the machine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, no, I did that All that happened was. Kirby came out of the screen and blew me. You left that out.
Speaker 5:That's an important detail. I would have led with that.
Speaker 3:Well, I was trying to save that for my own personal game, but I guess everybody know that now kirby's out of the bag. Now, yeah, that's it. That's all I got on this one. It's just a straight up. Uh, you know someone's telling. I don't know why it's packard bell, but it's a glimpse into the 90s.
Speaker 4:I thought it was a very interesting thing and I I feel like there's more here. We just haven't found it, uh, I looked and nobody has.
Speaker 3:Everybody that's talked about this that isn't on the site. Uh, literally just were like, oh, that's fun, like a nice little fortune telling thing. Nobody has said that there's more to this than there is, and I couldn't find anything either. So if you know more than I do, let me know. But it just recycles. Uh, the other cool thing, actually fun little tidbit. Uh, if I have my sound off right now, but, um, a bunch of the sounds they use in this are from, uh, fucking final fantasy 7 and Myst.
Speaker 1:Oh, fuck yeah.
Speaker 5:What's Myst what?
Speaker 3:That's a whole episode on its own.
Speaker 1:That's a whole episode, all by itself.
Speaker 3:Myst and.
Speaker 5:Riven were like the original point-and-click mysteries they were impossible.
Speaker 3:Myst was really cool.
Speaker 2:It was really fucking hard if you go look at the source, there's a link. There's a link in here to agoraroadcom, which is like a forum, and the person who claims they created this website it's name is MySpaceTom full circle yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 3:I forgot to mention that. I did see that yesterday. I didn't know what to do with this, though Cause everyone's friend Tom.
Speaker 2:There's something about keys to the secret Agora chat room. I'm out of my element here. This is a corner of the internet.
Speaker 3:I don't know what Agora Road is. I feel like I've heard that name before I didn't know what this was like. I feel like I've heard that name before. I didn't know if this was like Agora Road.
Speaker 5:Why do I fucking recognize that term?
Speaker 2:I feel like a boomer parent looking at.
Speaker 5:Hey man, it'll happen to us sooner than later.
Speaker 2:We're closer to that. No idea what's going on here.
Speaker 3:It looked like a normal forum, so that's why I didn't really go into it. Well, not normal, I guess. So that's why I didn't really go into it. Well, not normal, I guess.
Speaker 5:That's not the correct word for this but I didn't know if this had anything to do directly with it or not. It's a Macintosh cafe.
Speaker 4:I've used it on a topic in the past.
Speaker 5:I don't remember what, though it goes over all sorts of hidden internet, dead internet theory.
Speaker 2:Here's a turkey bathing in a Denny's coffee cup.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that looks comfortable, man is chilling.
Speaker 5:Man's is chilling. Agora Road's Macintosh Vaporwave Cafe.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah, it's very weird, I don't know. I thought it was an interesting site and I fully did not know if there was more to it or not.
Speaker 5:Oh shit, agora was a darknet market operating around the Tor network, not anymore.
Speaker 2:Now it's whatever the fuck, this is I'm sure somebody will show up in our Discord and educate us as to what we've missed.
Speaker 5:I hope so. I love when people do that.
Speaker 4:You're the only one. I just enjoy it. I like the aesthetic. I love me a good vaporwave aesthetic boy, I tell you what um all right well if that's what you're at. Um, I'll go first because I want, I want jason to go last. I know, matt, I love yours, so I want you to go before jason. I want to save the best ones for last. I guess I'll next here, so you know mine was bad.
Speaker 1:No, I couldn't find any more to it.
Speaker 4:I couldn't find any more to it other than what you talked about, so I figured that you wouldn't have much more to bring to the table.
Speaker 2:I think there's more to Doug's than mine.
Speaker 4:Oh, that's good. Well, I like the aesthetic of yours better. It's a better joke.
Speaker 5:Well, that's good. Well, I like the aesthetic of yours better.
Speaker 2:It's a better joke Well it's a joke. Doug's isn't really a joke. Anyway, please continue.
Speaker 4:So mine is called diagramwebsite, and if you go to diagramwebsite this is pretty much the roadmap of the Internet.
Speaker 5:Oh my God, it's a Venn diagram for the Internet.
Speaker 4:Kind of yeah. So when I say it's a Venn diagram for the internet, kind of yeah. So when I say it's a road map, I mean it is. You can follow a line and pick a line on here and it'll go through a bunch of different type of themed websites that you can find along the internet basically everything that you could find entertaining on the internet is here the topic.
Speaker 5:Tiles are wild.
Speaker 4:I know they're all over the place, kind of I know they're all over the place, kind of like a map, they're all over the map, and there's a bunch of really random ones on here that I thoroughly enjoyed. I haven't looked at all of these, obviously, because there's way too much shit here, but one that I thought was very interesting. Way at the bottom right there's one called Cyber Witches Under the myth.
Speaker 5:Under myth one called cyber witches under the myth, myth, under myth, and it literally talks about how, which overlaps with ecology and atmosphere and technomancy and like there's a lot of shit here, um, but tldr under cyber witches.
Speaker 4:It basically tells you about how the new age of like dark magic and everything can be done over the internet and you can become a witch on the internet and use the internet in your spells isn't the whole thing about witchcraft is like spoken word holds power, sure.
Speaker 4:Sure, now the nice thing about this site is it looks a little gobbledygooked right now because it's a map. It's kind of all over the place. Down at the bottom left you can see there's other areas you can go and you can just view the index where it basically gives you a fucking Excel, where it it gives you the name of everything that's on there.
Speaker 3:the link and it gives you how to hack my neighbor's wi-fi.
Speaker 4:This is I'm afraid none of it's like from. I've clicked on like a dozen of these already. Not a single one I found so far. 12 of them are safe man, yeah, uh, not one that I found so far is like nudie or not safe for work, so weird computer. What about that one? Thatie or not safe for work, weird computer.
Speaker 5:What about that one that's marked not safe for work? Where do you see that? I don't Okay, I'm just lying.
Speaker 4:What about the one that says big boobies here? It's just titscom. Okay, there's one on here Like there's a whole area that's just fun. And it's area that's just fun, it's just the goofy things that you can find on the internet. There's a whole website, there's silly, useless software that you can download software on your site on your computer, and it's like those old early 2000s where you can download an icon and the icon will move around.
Speaker 5:Just stupid shit, it's stupid.
Speaker 4:There's clickers where you click on it and there's a button that just says click here, and you click on it and it would just be like you clicked a button, it activated this. You clicked a button, the button changed color. You clicked a button, it moved up. It's just silly.
Speaker 5:The best one I've ever seen for a clicker website was just a big red button and when you clicked it it told you how many times you've clicked it Once. That's it. It's a very fascinating site.
Speaker 4:I highly recommend just taking time to website is a room. That one is interesting. Uh, I looked at that the other day but I couldn't find too much into it. Um, it's very weird.
Speaker 5:It it's definitely like you can make you can build a house on the internet. All of these are so strange, but they're words, what, what?
Speaker 4:the fuck. The strangeness goes even further, because not only does this site itself, not only is this site itself strange and entertaining, but down at the bottom you can submit websites. If you go to info, it'll tell you info on the creators A project by Christopher Tijal, if I want to say, and Elliot Cost. It's weirder, though, in Athens. If you click on Christopher, it'll take you to his website that he's created for CloudMoronmanagement. It's underwater, mop it all up. It's all underwater. You click it, it flushes the water and it'll tell you hey, this website is a surreal estate holding company. And then it goes on to say, yeah, it goes on to say this website is flooding with water. There's other websites that are also flooding with water. We need your help to prevent more websites from flooding with water.
Speaker 5:This seems like the type of thing that gets super baked and be like yeah, I'll fucking help.
Speaker 4:It's so fucking funny.
Speaker 5:I almost had.
Speaker 3:That is so loud.
Speaker 4:I know.
Speaker 3:I've almost got the water levels falling.
Speaker 4:But you can go from here and then it's like here's a list of other websites and you have to help keep the water levels low and on this it has a counter on some of these websites where it's like this is 78% full of water, this one's 2%. And if you go to these sites it has this flooded animation and it's like click the water to drain it and you gotta click it to drain it and then if you go back you see the counter like oh, it went from 100% down to 99% and that's your job.
Speaker 5:It's to drain the water.
Speaker 4:I feel like you. You just stumble across a job that doesn't pay me, and all these other websites on here that this cloudlordmanagement manages are other websites you can go to. There's internetphonebooknet If you go there it's a physical infrastructure, for it's a phonebook. It's a phonebook. Yeah, it's so fucking weird. It's very yellow, but there's just shit.
Speaker 5:It's got a few pages too.
Speaker 4:It is so wild to me Operated by Chris, and it's like hello, I'm Chris, and if you go back enough, go back. If you go to info again, if you go to Elliot this time around, you'll find Elliot's computer. You can browse Elliot's computer, and if you browse his computer, there's a whole list of different variations of his computer, always in motion. What? Always in motion? It's constantly moving. There's a blurry version of Elliot's computer. It's the exact same thing, just blurry, like it is so fucking weird. And this guy's whole thing is that domains are expensive, so why not use subdomains for everything? And so he has a list of subdomains that he's like everyone should just use these. There's a bunch of grayed out ones I'm still adding to this site and I'm adding these.
Speaker 4:So these have all been proposed within the last two months, december is when he's making all of these these are all new the website itself, the diagramwebsite that was made in 2023.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that's my big question here is why, yeah, like I'm fascinated by all of this. I'm like this is actually pretty impressive, isn't it? As long as I know why it's happening, I think.
Speaker 4:I like the idea of a roadmap of the internet. That is super cool. I love that concept and I love that you can go on here and be like let's go to the fun category and you can just find something dumb, useless and yeah useless website, let's click on it. Take me to a useless website, please. Okay. Where are we going? Sliding toys. It's a puzzle.
Speaker 5:You just make a puzzle. Yeah, like genuinely, this is just stumble upon, yeah, kind of With more direction.
Speaker 4:But you can like learn shit from this too. Like there's stuff on here about, like ecology where you learn stuff about ecology. You can go to the green web. The green web you can go to places like there's a whole text genre that goes into small as well. All of this it's like a venn diagram. Like you were saying before. There's the damaged earth catalog as well. That is in a bunch of these and the damaged earth one's very fascinating to me. I wasn't able to look too much into it I would.
Speaker 4:I would enjoy this we are humans, we might as well get used to it. So far remotely done. Power and glory as via government, big business, formal education, church, has succeeded to the point where gross profits obscure actual loss. In response to this dilemma and to these losses, a realm of intimate community power. Uh, community power is developing power of communities to conduct their own education, find their own inspiration, shape their own environment, shape their knowledge with others, practice that aid, uh, this processes are sought and promoted by the damaged earth catalog and if you go to any of these, like degrowth, for example, gives you a big old fucking explanation as to what's going on with the degrowth of the internet. You can go back, appropriate technology, you can learn about appropriate technologies that were around in the 1970s, and so on and so forth. Why should we?
Speaker 5:oh my, this is cool if you'll learn a lot, that's for sure. There's just so much shit here. I don't want to do that.
Speaker 4:You can find wikis, random wikis, on here. Random chat rooms.
Speaker 5:Multiplayer publish, and those are the two, and there's a wiki for that. Sure, what does that even mean?
Speaker 4:There's Special Fish. Special Fish is a community word processor for writing, poetry, journaling and logging, brought to you by users like you. How, like you can. Just let's just get out of here pbs. It's just a bunch of weird shit, but I'm fascinated that not a single website on here is some, like you know, known site. They're all these weird underground solar protocol. So, yeah, it's just weird shit and I'm I'm so fucking here for it.
Speaker 5:I feel like there's a whole category just for retro social networks.
Speaker 2:There's drugs involved there, it's all 100%.
Speaker 5:Adderall at the very least.
Speaker 4:But I highly recommend anyone going on here and just exploring just a little, because John Carpenter, jr Carpenter, anyone going on here?
Speaker 2:and just exploring just a little because.
Speaker 4:The fuck. Yeah, it's just John Carpenter. Jr Carpenter I have. It's just fascinating. I'm in this rabbit hole of I don't even know what the fuck I'm looking at, right now, I know, I know it's fascinating, right Like once you, once you start, this is pretty fucking great yeah.
Speaker 2:This is just a list of websites that are not any larger than 256 kilobytes, like why why not, is what you should be asking yourself.
Speaker 4:All right, do you think? Do you think?
Speaker 3:they? I don't even know. Are they just ai making all this shit? Is that what's happening here?
Speaker 2:no, I don't think so.
Speaker 3:I mean it seems curated and like I don't know, I guess, I guess, yeah, I, I don't know how to tell, even if, if, if they were, yeah, just so much.
Speaker 2:Of this just seems meaningless and useless. Like I don't, yeah but interesting.
Speaker 3:For example, I went to oh fuck, where did it go? Oh, if you go to like the bottom, uh, like left corner, there's one that's sorry audio people uh, if you click that and then just like pick a random thing inside of the geosities or geocities I don't even know um, everything just looks like fake or like it was someone's old 90s website, I don't even know that's what geocities was, though it's like a it was like a website hoster where you could go make.
Speaker 3:It was like the square space of his day that's where I made my first website nice, like if you just scroll down and just pick on, pick any topic like below, it'll just bring you into a weird one, or like it'll just bring up these random shits yeah, I'm just.
Speaker 2:This is kind of what GeoCities was, I don't know.
Speaker 4:It'll just bring up these random shits.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just this is kind of what GeoCities was. I don't know, GeoCities was like that era that we've covered a lot. Yeah, these are from the 90s, where it was like internet because we can. Yes, there was a guy talking about bears, which is kind of what this whole thing feels like, but it's a lot of this was done and like. Well, it was started in 2019, but like years after that, like it's like internet, because we can 20 years later.
Speaker 4:I don't understand I'm just I'm really glad that this exists, just because it's so we do what we must.
Speaker 5:It's so it's wholesome content.
Speaker 2:I mean, I appreciate that yes it's so weird it hasn't tried to sell me anything yet yeah, there's nothing, there's no advertising to try to sell me anything.
Speaker 5:You're not gonna see something fucking disgusting and gross. You're not gonna see someone getting beheaded. You're not gonna see a bunch of porn Like it's legitimately interesting shit.
Speaker 4:I know I had to stumble across anything not safe for work on that, Like it. Just it's a fascinating project. Give me 20 minutes. It's a fascinating project and I don't know why it exists, but I'm really glad that it does.
Speaker 3:Um, I'm trying to speed run porn here.
Speaker 4:Best viewed of speed run porn here. Best viewed with netscape 3.0 at 800 by 600. Oh, yeah, yeah, uh, highly recommend it. I just want to bring it to light because, again, very fascinating stuff there.
Speaker 5:I'm gonna stumble on that. I'm gonna fucking not do anything that day because I'm there, yeah, um matt what you got for boy.
Speaker 4:Let me tell you boy.
Speaker 2:I have a website. It's fitting that we ended up on GeoCities, because that's kind of what I got for you. Right now, what I got for you is a GeoCities website that is McDonaldsHamburgercom now, if you go to McDonaldsHamburgercom, you're going to be redirected to McDonaldsHamburger Ne. Now, if you go to McDonaldshamburgercom, you're going to be redirected to McDonaldshamburgerneocitiesorg, which is like a more modern version, a more better version. Yeah, and it is a 90s-ass looking website with these hamburger models and it says Welcome toaldshamburgercom, welcome to mcdonaldshamburgercom.
Speaker 2:The background is like planets in space it says you're visiting my dream and then something underneath that.
Speaker 2:There's a lot going on here, but what is very important to note is that this website is not affiliated with mcdonald's the hamburger restaurant in to note is that this website is not affiliated with McDonald's, the hamburger restaurant In fact, the creator of this website has never even eaten their hamburgers and this is merely a coincidence and he would have actually appreciated if the legal action against him would stop, because he doesn't mean any infringement by what's going on here. In fact, what he bought this website for was to promote his friend McDonald, who likes hamburgers.
Speaker 5:This is another South 32 fucking toy. It's kind of like that. I just know it.
Speaker 2:So he has a friend named McDonaldald and he wanted to buy him a website, and mcdonald likes hamburgers so he called it mcdonaldshamburgerscom. Um, he also owns arby's pastramicom, which, if you go to army's pastramicom, you're just gonna get this youtube video of this guy. And in the youtube video he's like ranting about McDonald's and he's like is McDonald's even real I? And then he like claims that he tried to go into one and that, uh, the cashier yelled at him and he took his penis out. And then was the cashier the other guy.
Speaker 2:Um, yep, no, this guy, the guy who owns McDonald'surgercom took his penis out um, you're gonna find out by clicking around on stuff in here that his favorite cryptid is vince mcmahon. Yeah that his favorite crypt is mcs this mcmahon. You're gonna find out that this is owned by a comedian named sam labuti labuti um and he you can find his YouTube channel here. He has a stand-up routine on his YouTube channel. He's a funny guy. He has a very dry, absurdist sense of humor.
Speaker 4:Oh, I love that.
Speaker 2:And you can find his YouTube channel, you can find his Instagram account, but yeah, I mean, that's pretty much the gist of it, right like it's just.
Speaker 1:It's a website that he claims he bought for his friend and now he owns. Now he owns mcdonalds hamburgercom yeah.
Speaker 2:I receive calls late into the night from a man who only breathes into the receiver and does not answer any of my questions. I think this is related to the McDonald's. I like that you called it the McDonald's the.
Speaker 5:McDonald's. I tested the.
Speaker 4:It's like this doesn't work on mobile. I tested it on my Motorola Razr and it looks like shit.
Speaker 1:This is peak humor this is great because,
Speaker 5:yeah I'm here for because why not? If you guys have not figured the theme of the week out, it is because why?
Speaker 2:not. There's a link here that says next site and if you click on it, nothing happens. I don't even think there's a link.
Speaker 3:I think it's actually in the image behind hell yeah, please email if you would like to advertise on this.
Speaker 5:We gotta get into that.
Speaker 2:We gotta advertise on this logo down here in the corner absolutely.
Speaker 4:Just shove it into the background.
Speaker 5:So there's a, there's a marketing technique that we should try is just find fucking obscure ass sites like this and be like just put our shit on there.
Speaker 3:We should just start buying up tons of websites Like we just like. Let's find all the like top websites and then like change one letter Like someone would like, accidentally you know that's called domain squatting and it's illegal.
Speaker 4:Yeah, well, the guy in the 90s got in trouble South 32.
Speaker 5:We had a whole episode on this.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, what is that guy up to? Are we on the?
Speaker 5:shit list. Yet I have not received a cease and desist or any type of lawsuit.
Speaker 2:I'm going to stop sharing this screen in case he's done something. He's listening, south 32.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, it goes somewhere else now. Yeah, I think he's onto his third 32.9 oh it takes you.
Speaker 2:It takes you to like a construction company, which I think is like wrapped up in this whole weird yeah, yep it seems like the actual somebody new?
Speaker 5:schizo dump page is gone well good because, holy shit, that was a nightmare to trawl through.
Speaker 4:No, that was amazing.
Speaker 5:It was fun. That story was a lot of fun, but lord was that hard to look at.
Speaker 4:I can't remember which one of us found that, but I'm happy we did.
Speaker 2:I have no idea.
Speaker 4:Anyway, thank you for the burger, and now I want a burger.
Speaker 5:You know what goes really well with a burger.
Speaker 4:Oh my god, what Jason A bathtub full of milk. Wash down that burger with a bathtub full of milk.
Speaker 5:It's just a small bathtub full of milk.
Speaker 3:What did you just give him? Tub girl? Is that what happened?
Speaker 2:What the fuck am I looking at? Oh, you know, I don't think I can show this on twitch because that's technically a nipple, even though technically that's nudity fuck that's so stupid?
Speaker 5:uh, okay, so mike sent me bathe in my milkcom. You might be able to get away with sharing it. You might, and we might just be I don't know, I know, I know.
Speaker 2:I don't know what the current status on that is, but I know male nipples have gotten people banned in the past, so I'm not gonna there's okay, I see there are two pictures that don't have any nipples.
Speaker 5:Scroll to the bottom, let's just share that holy crap. The fourth picture and the one at the very bottom is the worst one. Oh, it's the worst one by far. Damn, scroll the tab. Anyways, I know you guys are probably asking yourselves what the fuck are you talking about. Well, if you go to batheinmymilkcom, you are literally going to get eight images of this woman on. This lady, older woman, standing in a kind of dingy looking white sleeping gown.
Speaker 5:Very, very ghostly, very ghostly, very strange, but each one of these pictures she's never in the same fucking position. It's not like she has like a place she stands for this, it's just wherever she might be, which has all sorts of questions all over that, but we're not going to go into that. And she's standing next to different men that are inside a bathtub that is in the center of the room. Okay, it's not attached to a wall, it is literally sitting in the center of the fucking room and they are sitting in what looks like a bathtub full of milk I can't even reach the site that's probably better doug now.
Speaker 5:That's. That's all that's here. You could the very bottom. It says if you would like to reserve a spot to bathe, please.
Speaker 5:It says, please, email me right away and so however, you figure out pretty quickly this is not actually an advertisement to bathe and milk, because if you click on it you go to a patreon for someone named alan wagner comedy. The comedian creates stuff, um, and if you look into this a little bit deeper, um, and actually if you head on over to r slash, true wagner, which is the subreddit for alan wagner, you're gonna find all sorts of things that this person has created and you discover that the, so this website, was actually the, the secondary point of contact for these, because the first way you found out about this was random fucking flyers stapled to telephone poles in your town.
Speaker 5:And like literally it would show this. It said you have the option between soy almond and natural or original.
Speaker 4:Original Original recipe, which is terrifying almond and natural or original original original recipe original recipe, which is terrifying.
Speaker 5:Um, apparently several, several news outlets from both the uk and here have tried to get in contact with this individual to legitimately see if this is a service that they can do. Um, one milk, please. Turns out it is not. You cannot actually reserve a milk bath.
Speaker 2:Through this website. Through this website, is there an app?
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 5:The app is in development, imilk, and it brings the bath to you.
Speaker 1:Uber milk, uber tub.
Speaker 5:I don't think anything is actually going to come of this. I think it's just done for the sake of comedy and because this man, alan wagner, has made so many flyers like so fucking many. Um, if you look at this subreddit, the first thing you're going to see is something written in spanish or portuguese, I'm not sure. I actually think it might be portuguese. No it. It translates to have you been having strange dreams?
Speaker 5:oh no oh no just saying this this was a very open and mystery that we decided to start this show off with.
Speaker 2:Yet here we are finding a and now, this is how we end it.
Speaker 5:Goodbye everyone, goodbye, we're done um, I'm not sure if this is actually tied to him. A lot of people are speculating. It's in the same style as all of his other flyers. Um, but here's another one just in case. Actually, this is valentine's day, did just happen not too long ago. Um, this valentine's day, get her a gun. It's a postcard of a gun, or a watch that's been modified to. It actually holds a gun as well. Oh, sick, you just wear it on your wrist. Um says it's the new era and blank, blank, blank shop shop now sells guns to women. Elegant round handle, silent hole.
Speaker 4:Bullet window. I have a silent hole. You can watch it fly through.
Speaker 5:Voice activated trigger and a special chamber to store husband's note. And it's designed by Wilbur, our newest gunsmith. Wilbur is from the generation of gun makers what, and we are proud to learn from his fresh perspectives as we continue to evolve with the changing times into the future. But yeah, if you'd like a gun for a woman, this is where you go. Apparently there's another flyer that says there is a hole in my yard filled with a soup I ladle and ladle but it keeps refilling.
Speaker 5:Where is the source? I am scared to investigate. And then underneath it says cup three dollars, bowl six dollars.
Speaker 5:It's pretty great um, yeah, I mean, it's a bunch of stuff like this. He'll mail person, like like actual mailers, to people like there was a whole campaign that he sent out. Um, that it just said one free favor from your neighbor, william. He sent it to everybody that lived like within like a mile radius of him. It's. They said he printed these, these metal coins called william coin, willy coin, and they've got his face on them and it's it literally says hello. This is the authorities of Gainesville. Our records indicate you recently received a William coin which can be redeemed for a free favor from William. Not going to doxy here. Unfortunately, someone used their William coin to request that William set their enemy dogs on fire. Luckily, we arrived just in time to stop the event. The enemy's dog was unharmed. We're letting William go, since we know he was just doing it because of the William coin. However, we are forbidding anyone from redeeming any further William coins due to the man's request which was inappropriate, interesting and it's literally just shit like this.
Speaker 4:I wish I had the time to just put a random flyers around my neighborhood.
Speaker 5:That's the only thing I keep thinking of.
Speaker 2:There's so much like look at this, this is the you can't find, just like a random saturday where you could just drive around, just put flyers I might have to do this now like there are so many flyers.
Speaker 5:This guy has made easily 200 flyers, easy, um, and he keeps making them. Um, there's like wanted ads, like he asks for a piano lesson simply because he doesn't know how to sit down, like that's the real lesson is. Apparently he needs lessons on how to sit down, but he needs a piano teacher to teach him.
Speaker 5:That's right, it's just this weird absurdist comedy that he happens to just post up in public and confuse the ever-living hell out of people and news outlets alike, apparently I am a thousand percent here for that kind of Tom foolery yeah it's.
Speaker 5:It's if you want a good time and it's sweet, it's short. Like you don't need to look into lore, you just take the flyer for what it is. They're fucking hilarious, if that's. If you like absurdist comedy, go check out r slash. True Wagner has a pretty solid grasp on all of his work. Or you can just go to bathe in my milkcom.
Speaker 4:A lot of comedians tonight, lots. It's almost like I did that on.
Speaker 2:We can learn a thing or two.
Speaker 4:Purpose. Yeah, I, now that you got out your thing out of the way.
Speaker 5:Mike has a surprise topic.
Speaker 4:I have two, no three. I have three surprise topics. No, I just have three little itty bitty boys, and by itty bitty boys I mean they're very weird sites that I wanted to bring up just because we're the three itty bitty boys.
Speaker 4:There's four of us, but you guys are my three itty bitty boys. These are a couple sites. One is silly, Two are kind of off the fucking wall. I would love for us to dive deeper into these, but I do not know how we could ever do that. So I just want to bring these to the fucking world's attention, and by the world I mean the fucking seven people that listen to us. So the first one I want to bring up is called undermoundcom, and if you go to undermoundcom it is a very, very weird site that says all roads lead to undermount.
Speaker 2:If you scroll down it's just a list of a bunch of Under your mom's pubic mound.
Speaker 4:Dude, you fucking got him, bro Got him. It's a bunch of imagery. It's just a bunch of imagery, but for each picture you click on, any one of them takes you to a completely different page that has to do with that image but doesn't. At the same time, it's like a video. It's a legit video.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I thought it was just a gif.
Speaker 4:No, it's a video and every single one of them is different. Some are videos, others are websites where it's like a game you can play. What if it was about AI?
Speaker 3:I don't know, but it's like a game.
Speaker 4:You can play a video game on here. What it does, I don't fucking know, but there's a bunch of these and each one is different.
Speaker 5:Big, friendly and three-eyed. I feel like I'm inside like Reboot, except.
Speaker 1:I know yes.
Speaker 4:It's fucking nuts dude and every single image is different. That's what is crazy to me. Every single one of these is something new. Now, not all of my games. Like I said, some are. Some are videos. I can't there is an option down at the bottom there's a button that says this way, and if you click it it goes off welcome, yeah if you click it it goes off Good welcome.
Speaker 4:If you click it it says good welcome and you can. It's down another fucking rabbit hole. There's one that says enter. You go on that and it says continue to the undermount or go to the exit, to the gallery. There's a button that just says button. If you click on it collect the tabs. It's just what is this.
Speaker 5:Oh my god, this is a drug site. There's so much weird shit here. This is 100% a hallucinogenic site. Probably he said collect all the tabs.
Speaker 1:There's a dude holding a tab of medicine on his fucking tongue.
Speaker 2:This is totally meant to.
Speaker 5:Oh my god, this is totally meant to explore when you're on some kind of hallucinogen Interesting.
Speaker 4:Big love and buh-bye for now, it says like 100 everything you click on takes you somewhere that's both wild as fuck but oddly diving, with floaties, oddly detailed. It's, you know, pixel art, that there was some thought put into every single little thing and it like it, ecstasy somehow yeah, I mean, that'll just happen. That'll just fucking happen.
Speaker 4:Dude, whoa, look at dude what the hell yeah but I just want to bring that one up because it's fucking bananas. Um it's. I had to tell someone about it. I I stumbled across that and I was like that was made.
Speaker 4:I can't, I can't yeah, I can't give this to one of the guys to look up, but I also can't ignore that this exists I have to talk about. I have to talk about it fair. Um. Another more simple one that I wanted to bring up is just cheeseverseorg. Now, if you go to cheeseverseorg, you can explore and savor the world of cheese. At Cheeseverse, we offer a wide range of reviews about delicious cheese varieties from different countries and cultures. Discover new flavors, textures and aromas and indulge in your taste buds. You can search for shit on here, like if you just search like Gouda, you'll get reviews. Reviews of Gouda. Not fucking Braille Looks like it. No, it's Morse code.
Speaker 4:What in the hell yeah not everything you Google or search is going to lead you anywhere. It's very weird and hit and miss. I've found many that work, but you can go to posts and it just takes you to nothingness and it's just a very Test one you can download. Don't click that. No, I'm not clicking any of this shit on here. I highly recommend not clicking on anything here, but it's just what is this Deadline giveaway. Yeah, Like what is this site? Cheese socks. What is that? You know what it is?
Speaker 2:Is this cheese?
Speaker 1:or a science experiment.
Speaker 4:What is that? You know what it is. You know it's a science experiment. What is happening in here? I'm telling you, dude. I stumbled across some weird shit and I needed to tell people about it. There's this fucker cheese giveaway.
Speaker 5:Deadline is january hey, well, I have a podcast if you can't hold your audience captive and talk at them about weird cheeses eas Easter egg.
Speaker 4:Did you know cheese verse has a hidden Easter egg? If you're a star Wars fan, you might want to check this out. Head over to cheese verseorg and look closely. Not everyone will find it, but if you do, may the cheese be with you.
Speaker 5:What, what.
Speaker 4:It's just such a weird site and you're going to learn about. I know what site and you can learn about. I know what you can learn about cheese. You can just learn about cutting a giant cheese wheel in half there's, so not off topic.
Speaker 5:This is actually on topic.
Speaker 4:You can make an account on here yeah, you can, and it also has links to TikTok, so this is a relatively this.
Speaker 5:I don't know why, but I feel like there's a video that exists of a man going into a cheese shop in like Switzerland or some shit and he tries to buy one of those giant like parmesan wheels and the like oh yeah, the guy's like no, he's just like yelling at him and like what the fuck are you talking about? He's like I want to buy this whole wheel.
Speaker 4:He's like, no, get the fuck out but this is updated because it's linked to, like, relatively recent TikToks and stuff, so this thing gets updated. About cheese, yeah, about cheese, don't forget, and it gives you a history of cheese, the making process of cheese, pairings, recommendations and fun facts. Did you know the world's most expensive cheese is made from donkey milk. In Serbia it's called Pule and can cost over $1,000 per kilogram. This is just a weird fucking site. Everything you didn't want to know about cheese.
Speaker 5:Everything you didn't want to know about cheese.
Speaker 2:I submitted a review but it didn't show up.
Speaker 4:Well, that sucks and I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Try again later, I guess Probably because I spelled Gouda wrong. Probably oh your post will be reviewed and may take some time to process before it becomes visible on the site. So you're telling me somebody manually reviewed test123, test123?.
Speaker 3:I hope and said yes, this is good, this is the shit I'm fucking talking about.
Speaker 4:I have one more site that I want to talk about, and this one is probably one of the most off-the-fucking-wall sites I have ever seen in my life. It is called hell dot, long bone library dot. Oh hell yes. Now, if you go here warning you're gonna experience some shit, so be careful, I have no idea should I be sharing? You can. There's nothing, there's no like imagery on here.
Speaker 4:Really, that's like disturbing you might get a xenobite there's pages that I would recommend staying away from, just to be safe. There's one called Sexted. Wow. Nope, there's nothing crazy on it, but it might cause an epileptic seizure.
Speaker 2:Sausage muttering competition Adults only. Oh man, I want to click on that. So goddamn bad.
Speaker 4:Stay close to on the top. If you're going to click anywhere, stay on Partypalooza. Ling's Cars and History of the Library.
Speaker 5:Ling's Cars is where it's at.
Speaker 4:But I have no fucking clue what's going on on this fucking website. Dudes, I just had to bring it up because it's so fucking weird.
Speaker 3:Well, there's a sausage buttering competition. I'm playing Tetris right now on the website.
Speaker 4:First and foremost, when you go onto the site, you're presented with an archive search, but I don't know what to even search for. You can enter your email in spots. I wouldn't recommend it. It looks like it continues, but I can't scroll anymore. And there's eyeballs all over. You can click on the eyeballs. I have a seizure and you get audio. I hate that. Yeah, you get audio. If you go up to the top, there's tabs for other things. There's games like what Doug went to, who's in my mouth, there's History of the Library and if you click on that, oh my God, is it so fucking weird?
Speaker 5:And I can't read it. Is it McShub, mcshub Sure?
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 5:God.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you can't read anything because it's just moving and zooming in and out. It's so fucking weird. Sext Facility and staff Wow yeah.
Speaker 3:Home that noise the eyeballs make is terrible, I know.
Speaker 4:There's a tab called Ling's Cars and if you click on it, this is where it's at. Welcome to Ling's Supercars. Cheapest cars, crazy deals Ask Ling now. He's Carly's genius yeah, trusted by Dragons Den. And none of these are really clickable, except if you go to browse cars and other things. You can click on those. It doesn't take you anywhere, but you can click on them. There's a man, meet Ling. He's the car lease genius, which is nice.
Speaker 5:And there's a weird I don't even know what, the I don't know what that is either image me, click me, does nothing but this is, it's a, so it's an image of a car that's just been absolutely fucking totaled like oh, but it's just
Speaker 2:scrunched up, yeah, yeah but my god, there's no gore, or anything but no, that's kind of what I was afraid of, but it looks like there should be.
Speaker 3:I mean it's just as you go to that thing that says click me, click me, click me. On the left side I tried to click, you can't click it.
Speaker 4:Oh, you can't.
Speaker 5:Oh, I didn't do it before. Ling is a bitch ass motherfucker.
Speaker 4:This is overtoned devil is squatting the contact page of the library website. Rent free yeah, we can't get a trespassing warrant on them for the website. We have a bounty of roughly $5,000 on this four-eyed freak. Anyone up for the offer is welcome to take it. It didn't do anything before. That was weird. Yeah, this is just such a weird fucking site. Longbone yeah, longbone Library. John Coxelli. Here at Longbone Library, we only hire the best of the best. There is a list of our most humbly trained and self-taught employees john coxcelli, certified liberator and self-proclaimed liberal since 1976. Guy andu martino, self-taught sharpshooter and child investigative manager, professional std enthusiast what goober big coxley, big coxcelli this is just such a weird fucking site.
Speaker 4:This is like LHLHQ.
Speaker 2:And the fourth thing down says children under the age of five must be chained to a pole located outside Leashes are provided.
Speaker 5:Hell yeah.
Speaker 4:But what an interesting site. I have no idea what's going on here. I feel like there's a lot. There's free hugging nights. There's a sewage party. Yeah, there's a free hugging night. You can go there. You can get hugs. You can see the front desk for more information. Dr Jeremy will be the one hugging.
Speaker 2:We would love your kids at Longbone Library.
Speaker 5:What the fuck?
Speaker 4:God damn it, Mike what did you even search to find this? You don't know. Don't ask, that's fair. I shouldn't. I should know, but so I I've stumbled across.
Speaker 2:The beloved child named jonathan mandel died by a head injury under the supervision of dr timothy. He will be, or mr timothy, he will be. The parents were sued and incarcerated.
Speaker 4:What the fuck? Just an absolute, your algorithm is fucking ridiculous. Dogs. I love finding this weird hole of the internet. Oh, that's great, because it has no benefit to society. No at all. It's a distraction. You don't learn anything from it. It's not even like there's a story to it, really it's just a waste of time.
Speaker 4:It's a waste of time, and I've wasted everyone's time, but I'm glad I did so. It was an entertaining waste of time. Exactly, honestly, that's all I really have. If I'm being totally honest, I'm very, very upset. I have one last one that I want to bring up slightly. Now, I don't know the full context, because I saw some shit on the site that made me immediately exit out. I gotta say one more thing before we leave Please do.
Speaker 2:If you go to the long when was I just at Fucking Partypalooza and go to the staff and faculty, there's John Coxley and then oh, okay, I wasn't paying attention, self-taught short shooter and child investigative manager, professional STD enthusiast oh yeah, I like the next name Goopert Big Coxley.
Speaker 4:Big Coxley oh, I don't like what he does for a living, but that's okay. But there's one last one that at first glance super fascinating. I'm not going to have us pull up the website because I'm ashamed of it, but it's called the St Cloud Superman. If anyone wants to look up, I don't recommend it, don't do it. But TLDR.
Speaker 4:It starts off innocent enough where this one guy in this town called St Cloud. He basically dresses up as Superman and, quote-unquote, does a bunch of good deeds around the city, basically like a Phoenix Jones type. Only this guy gets worse. I want to do an episode of Phoenix Jones, by the way. We might do that in the future, we'll see. It is up to you now, anyway, and we'll deny it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so as you go on this website, he talks about how the whole thing is dedicated to his father, who was a man who did the best for his community and wanted what was right for the United States citizen. Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. And then it starts to delve into how his dad was like a chairman in like the Republican Party, like groupings of this town and all this other stuff about being a Republican and he's like oh, my mom helped raise me the most. Dad unfortunately wasn't around too much because he was in the military, but he was a staunch Republican. Yada, yada, yada. And as you keep going, there's a few things here and there about how he helps the city and he gets cats out of trees and all this dumb shit. And as you keep scrolling, there's talk of Nazism.
Speaker 4:And I'm like you had to fucking ruin it. You had this funny thing that I thought would have been interesting and then you had to fucking ruin it and be an asshole and be a shitty person, and so I'm not going to recommend anyone look into it, but that was my main thing that I spent a genuine amount of time looking into until it went into Nazism and I got really pissed off when that happens. So don't look it up, but I want to bring it to everyone's attention because I spent a good three days nonstop looking at this thing for like three hours a day.
Speaker 1:Three days nonstop. No, okay, like three hours. They pulled a Kanye on you. They pulled a fucking Kanye on you Did you order a shirt?
Speaker 4:No, I did not order a fucking shirt, but yeah, there's that. So Nazis weird, but Nazi bad Mike, Crazy right Mike.
Speaker 5:I need you to know that you just to our audience went here everybody. Here's a big red bush button you should not press.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I did kind of do that. You absolutely did. Um, I don't even know what time we're at for this one, but I'm assuming it's time time to go to time, I think oh, fuck, yeah, we did it, boys and girls.
Speaker 4:Um, well, I was padding for time with that last one, so matt, if you want to, at the end you can just snip out that last bit about superman. I don't give a fuck, that's completely up to you. Fuck hell, yeah, leave it in the. I'll give up. Um, but yeah, I thought all these websites were very fascinating. I'm glad you got you boys got a little bit of entertainment out of this. Oh it, it was so much fun and maybe I'll do this again. Odds are I probably will, because I don't know what else to do with some of these episodes.
Speaker 5:So here we go. We can always do the thing I've been suggesting for the last year and a half. No, we're not going to mention one.
Speaker 4:We also do the other thing that I've been suggesting for a year and a half.
Speaker 5:yeah, I don't, I I don't believe it. I will believe it when I see it. I'll look into it for you, bud I've already okay.
Speaker 4:Well, no, like I want to look into it more because I have to make the outline I think me and jason are the only ones who actually fully looked into it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have not yet I haven't touched it. It's really interesting, it's really cool, but it's just a lot, yeah, anyway it's because of the way it's formatted, the way you have to research, it sucks. It does it's garbo? We'll look into that another time.
Speaker 4:Right now we're ending the episode. Goodbye everyone. I'm going to say love yourself and take a me day every now and then. You deserve it, jason what do you got?
Speaker 5:As always, stay fucking paranoid. You never know if there is a lady next door to you selling personal milk baths out of her home. Um, if so, pause the episode. Silly, go dive in that sounds way better than what we're doing here. So go experience that um and then be paranoid by everything else in your life.
Speaker 4:I guess yeah uh, matt, what you got.
Speaker 2:Business idea I had while I was waiting for this to be over Open a restaurant where everything comes out of a pipe. Mr Tube Steak? Well, no, I was just thinking. Have you ever been to one of those ale houses where you walk up and there's like an iPad thing and you can just like pour yourself beer?
Speaker 5:out of it.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah that, but just like soup and also beer, just like anything that can be shoved out of like a spout.
Speaker 1:Please tell me that it's going to be out of one of those machines. Don't mix them up Cheese out of like a spout.
Speaker 2:Please tell me that it's going to be out of one of those beer pot spouts, Don't mix them up.
Speaker 4:Cheese yeah, you could do cheese sauces. Yeah, they provide you with a Ziploc baggie at your table that you can fill to go.
Speaker 2:Hey, there you go With like a straw you can just shove in it.
Speaker 4:Mood soups.
Speaker 2:There you go. Yeah, there you go. Free idea for everybody.
Speaker 4:Doug, what do you got? Don't steal his idea though.
Speaker 3:Go to wwwpeensandbeanscom. Okay.
Speaker 5:Have fun.
Speaker 4:Okay, okay, bye everyone, jesus Christ, bye Again everyone, I guess. Uh, no, don't stick around, we're done don't look under the internet.
