Don't Look Under the Internet
Don't Look Under the Internet
DLUTI 193 - Really Tall Podcast: Episode 3
This week we take a break from the internet horror to bring you everyone's second favorite podcast. Remember - long things are just tall things sideways.
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Really tall podcasts, really tall podcasts, really tall podcasts, really tall podcasts. Tall things. They are tall, they are not small, they are tall things, really fucking tall podcasts.
Speaker 3:Fuck yeah, that's all you get, that's all.
Speaker 2:I needed.
Speaker 3:That's all I needed.
Speaker 2:The whole thing. That's true, we're in it baby.
Speaker 3:Hello everyone, welcome back to round, like welcome to Vindicators 5 of a really tall podcast. No, I know, that's why I brought it up. Welcome to a really tall podcast, a podcast about things that are oh so tall and not so small. I'm here with my very tall guest, jason.
Speaker 2:I am tall, jason, hello.
Speaker 3:I'm here with my other really tall guest, Matt.
Speaker 5:I guess I'm tall compared to like a toddler.
Speaker 3:I'm here with my other tall guest, Doug.
Speaker 2:He's like no, no, I'm not.
Speaker 3:And I'm the other really tall guest, and by really tall I mean by yeah, you had nothing, did you? You just started talking Baby standards. Matt took the thing I was going to say and I didn't have anything.
Speaker 5:The thing is we don't ever see people like fans or anything. We're all under six feet tall, so we all like none of us look drastically taller than the other ones we could just be like. What? Yeah, there's no way, jason's that tall.
Speaker 2:Yeah, jason's like six foot. Last time I got measured. I was six foot, Okay Well we're all within in like a few inches of each other.
Speaker 5:So we could just be like Jason six, five, Mike six, I'm like eight nine.
Speaker 2:I think my brother is six, eight. You do have all family. I'm the shortest one in my family, aside from my mom, I hate you.
Speaker 4:What's the saying?
Speaker 2:Six, six, eight, 47 or something, oh, 46, 86, 47.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, oh, is that about shoe size right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%. Definitely nowhere related to the sentiment when 86, 46 was being shared.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, no, no, no, it's different, it's different. I'm pretty sure White is Kids, you Know is more. They'll explain it.
Speaker 2:Last week we talked about it a little bit. We touched on it this week. If you still haven't fucking looked up, the White is Kids, you Know? Sketch about the president. Fucking, what are you doing?
Speaker 3:Yeah, anyway, we're going to be here to talk about some very tall things and I'm very excited for it, because I brought a couple very interesting ones to to the table. I think we're all very excited. Who wants to go first? Do you want me to start it off, or does someone else have something juicy that they want to start off with?
Speaker 2:I'm going to go somewhere in the middle.
Speaker 4:I want to break down how I've collectively knowledged Paul in my. I have a couple sections. Alright, I got living things. I got fucking you brought. Categories I got mountain I got fucking you brought categories I got mountain. I got fucking, I got natural phenomena, I've got fucking just strange things in the animal kingdom. What do you want?
Speaker 3:Where do you want to hear? Let's go, phenomenon, give me a phenomenon Tallest natural phenomena. Phenomeni.
Speaker 2:Where do you guys fall into that?
Speaker 4:Give me a phenomenon, tallest natural phenomenon. Did you know that a supercell storm can rise almost 50,000 feet in the sky, jesus Christ. It produces tornadoes and stuff like that 50,000 feet.
Speaker 3:Holy shit, they're like straight up.
Speaker 4:They're taller than skyscrapers, bro Like think about that.
Speaker 3:Is that the tallest one on record is 50,000 feet, or is?
Speaker 4:that just an average. They can. I think that's an.
Speaker 3:I don't want to say that's an average, but I want to say they can, can do if it can get up to I would say 50 000 is the tallest, and if it can get up to it's been recorded that 50 000 feet is.
Speaker 2:It's one of the tallest bigot tallest, not biggest we don't use that adjective here what?
Speaker 5:yeah, come on, it's really tall, not really big some things are sideways yeah long is just tall side on the side
Speaker 2:yeah, in 2018, um, a storm reached the stratosphere, piercing a layer of it like it went through it Is this fucking 2012, where it sucks the stratosphere down to the earth and flash freezes everything.
Speaker 4:No, it's 2018, bro. The movie that was 2012. No, it is. This was just when it happened here.
Speaker 3:No, it is this was just when it happened here, so that tells me that people on the ISS could probably see this thing from space.
Speaker 2:They can taste it, yeah. Yeah, pretty clearly right, If it hit the stratosphere, oh yeah, they definitely could see it and they could probably see the difference between regular cloud systems and then whatever this motherfucker is. Do you think they're just like?
Speaker 3:because they're moving pretty quick. You know what I mean, like relatively quick around do you think they're just like? They're just like whoa, look at that storm, that's crazy. And then like just casual conversation hey, jim, check out this. Oh my god.
Speaker 2:And they're just this giant 50,000 story fucking thing, holy fuck orbital velocity for planet earth is about a thousand something, 18 miles per second it's not bad, that's.
Speaker 4:Can you imagine just a 50 000 foot tornado coming at you? That's big, it's too big.
Speaker 3:Well, there's a big, there's a big, and that's a hell of a big tornado, bro, tall sorry um, that's a hell of a hell of a Hella tall. It's too heavy.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that's right. We got to rate it Tall or not.
Speaker 3:Our other podcast would be too heavy podcast. That's the next one.
Speaker 5:Too heavy podcast.
Speaker 3:So what are we rating these? On the scale of one to five talls, I'm going to rate that five talls. Vegeta scale I'm going to rate that 5 out of 5 tall. That's too tall, right there.
Speaker 5:That's fucking 5 out of 5 tall, you can argue, that is.
Speaker 1:Really fucking tall, really fucking tall Podcast. I didn't mean to hit it twice, but I did.
Speaker 3:It worked. Every time you get a 5 out of 5, you get the jingle.
Speaker 2:So okay, I'm sorry, I'm fucking hooked on the science of this. You're telling me the top of this storm system technically reaches an area where there's no oxygen.
Speaker 4:Yeah, apparently, or like very limited, yeah. So I guess, adding to this fun fact I don't know how this ties in I'm not a fucking meteorologist and or scientist, you're not a wizard, but Paxton. So these, these clouds, I guess, are called not, not to loosen clouds and they not form from.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not loose cloud.
Speaker 4:The not loose cloud.
Speaker 2:The not loose cloud. Yeah, the knocked loose clown. I love the knocked loose clown. Um the knocked loose clown basically these, these clouds form jason, oh, no what happened nothing a prediction, maybe who knows continue.
Speaker 4:This will be funny later okay, um, basically, these like clouds form ice crystals at the edge of space and they're only visible, like during twilight, uh, hours, uh, and we only found out about these clouds because 140 years ago, um, the eruption of Krakatoa happened and it revealed them.
Speaker 2:Damn.
Speaker 4:So that's on science, for y'all Get knowledged.
Speaker 2:I did a fucking Get knowledged. I got a high school paper on Krakatoa. Apparently. You could feel the explosion from the coast of Africa. I think, All the way in my specific plums, deep, deep in your plums Coast of Africa, I think. All the way in my specific plums. Deep, deep in your plums.
Speaker 3:I'll go next because I could segue.
Speaker 5:Oh, sorry, I got it specifically for you.
Speaker 3:I'm going to go next because I have a segue it's Alterado.
Speaker 2:Liquid Gold. There you go. It's actually really good. What are we drinking?
Speaker 3:I got some liquid gold for you. Oh yeah, I guess. What are you drinking? What are you thinking? There's a bottle here and it's empty. Yeah yeah, Jason just got us a couple beers Alterado Alterado Liquid Gold and couple beers Alterado Alterado liquid gold, and Doug has.
Speaker 4:Alterado they didn't have Buffalo Trace at the drive-thru liquor store yeah, because the fucking distillery flooded.
Speaker 5:Oh shit.
Speaker 3:Matt, do you have anything or no?
Speaker 5:I've got Diet Ginger Ale.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, dude From Casey's. No, I poured it in on Casey's cup, so that.
Speaker 5:Mike wouldn't bother me about it again.
Speaker 3:My guy reuses cups on the fucking regular yeah man Reduce, reuse recycle.
Speaker 2:My dad has used the same fucking plastic big gulp cup for like six years.
Speaker 3:I'm pretty sure Wash that he does Anyway, I, Anyway, I'm going to kick off of the knocked loose clown and go to mine. I have the world's tallest clown. So I bet you guys didn't think that the world had a tallest clown, did you?
Speaker 5:I would hope they did Well, unless every clown is exactly the same height.
Speaker 2:No, that's what clown college is for.
Speaker 5:This is according to Shave like a quarter inch off the bottom of your feet. Let it heal. See how you measure up. Shave it off again this dude's like six foot five.
Speaker 2:We got some work to do.
Speaker 3:This is according to SarahKeyescom. I'm sorry, what State Fair flashback. Did you receive a balloon animal from the world's tallest clown, quacky, in 1970?
Speaker 3:Quacky the world's tallest clown, almost 7 foot tall With the hat. Quacky makes a dog From balloon during the 1970s State Fair. He build himself a duck. He build himself a duck clown Because of the voices he would make A duck wait, hold on, hold on. So he called himself a duck clown because of the voices he would make A duck Wait, hold on, hold on Because he could be like so he'd call himself a duck clown Great.
Speaker 2:Is that an actual category for clowns?
Speaker 5:It wears like a duck bill too. What the fuck he does. It's a fucked up bill.
Speaker 2:It looks like an elephant's nose.
Speaker 3:I'm not normally afraid of clowns, but this is horrifying. Why is this blurred out now? Because I'm normally afraid of clowns, but this is horrifying.
Speaker 2:Why is this blurred?
Speaker 3:out. Now, all of a sudden, you get to pay. It wasn't like this before. Well, refresh it and then it might-. There we go. That was weird, but Quacky-.
Speaker 2:Yeah, keep refreshing, it's a paywall.
Speaker 3:Quacky Quacky, quacky Quacky.
Speaker 4:He's really fucking tall.
Speaker 3:So many ads just popped up. So Quacky is 6'9" and he has a university degree in education and a letter in basketball, which is kind of fun, but he was the local clown.
Speaker 5:A letter in basketball, which one B A S. A E T B Again A. I hate a lot of what's happening right now. A E T B Again A.
Speaker 3:I hate a lot of what's happening right now.
Speaker 2:But you had to know this was coming right.
Speaker 3:So he was. He was at the States Fair in 1970, between August 31st and September 2nd of 1970. His name is Eugene Curtis, but again his stage name was Quacky and he was 6'9 inches tall. He was reportedly the tallest clown in the world. He was also the only A 6'9 clown. Yeah, look at him just fucking, just loom over this man.
Speaker 4:Can we do an exercise real quick?
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Alright, jason, mike, I need you to close your eyes. I want you to think you need to go to. You're at the fair, right, you're walking up to this clown. You're like 10 feet away from this clown and you're just walking up to this clown, right, okay, are you there?
Speaker 2:Yeah, have I shit yet or no? God damn it Cool, I did now. The answer is yes, I have now shit, okay exercise over fuck you, doug and Matt thanks, buddy, the collaboration was real and I hate both of you for it so anyway, I'm gonna go on to read more about this article real fast so so Curtis had an interest in clowning that.
Speaker 3:So so Curtis had an interest in clowning that. It came to him While he was playing high school basketball at Maumee Ohio Later at Bowling Green University.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 5:I thought you said Curtis's.
Speaker 2:I thought you said Curtis's clowning Came, while blah blah blah. What is the clowning? He while blah blah blah? I'm like he said what is the clowning.
Speaker 3:He said I worked part time on a playground and I learned that kids clustered around me. What does that mean? While I talked like a duck Wait wait, wait. After school in 1968. What does that mean After school?
Speaker 3:In 1968, he quit a factory job To become a traveling performer, towering over his audience, especially when he added a high Added, a high hat to his look. Quacky entertained the masses by making balloon animals Puppies, snakes, giraffes and elephants. His son, chris, told the Toledo Blade In 2013, shortly after his father's death, that his father often went through 2,000 balloons a day and enlisted his four children To blow them up using a small air compressor. Holy fuck.
Speaker 4:My wife works at the factory and I work part-time at the playground, our also saying my wife works at the factory and I work part-time at the playground.
Speaker 2:Uh like our limits two mil that is the state, um, but yeah he was great, doug, you could get by on a clown education.
Speaker 5:You have to understand.
Speaker 4:I can't even get past the fact that this man said he worked part-time at a playground what does that?
Speaker 3:mean his shows were popular with children, but also with adults. We're all just children, only some are a little older than others. He said he performed until 2010, bringing smiles to the faces of untold number of children and adults. There's not much money in it, as people think. How much money do you?
Speaker 2:think.
Speaker 3:But there's more to life than money. He said in the newspaper profile in 1969 about his chosen profession I like clowning. You always see the good points of people you know, never the bad. That's the thing about being a clown.
Speaker 4:When do we get to the tall stuff?
Speaker 3:He's 6'9".
Speaker 2:Paul is a clown. What do you think?
Speaker 3:He's 7' tall. He's a duck. He's a duck clown. That's seven foot six foot nine. That's fucking huge all right now.
Speaker 4:I need to know what the actual biggest duck is.
Speaker 2:Hold on this is gonna be a four hour episode because we just keep getting interested in things.
Speaker 3:What do we think of the tallest clown boys?
Speaker 5:I think he's terrifying and I would never want him to show up, I'm gonna give him like four out of five tall maybe what would have made him five for you if he was over seven feet tall what about you, jason?
Speaker 2:uh, I have to get three out of five dolls. I think what? Because if you take away the clown makeup and stuff, he's just a dude.
Speaker 5:But he's a clown right, but the thing is like if you put him on the scale of people that are tall that's fair. You know what you put yaoming in a fucking clown costume.
Speaker 2:He's gonna he's now the world's tallest clown.
Speaker 3:You're yeah, that's fair is yaoming, blowing up fucking balloons and shit. No, but quacky is you, might be you don't fucking know what he's up to you.
Speaker 5:Don't know what he does what do you?
Speaker 4:got doug on his off days uh well, if you look at chat um, the longest duck ever is named long long boy. Oh sorry, tallest duck ever is named long boy. What in the fuck? He's three and a half feet tall holy shit that's a big fucking duck uh tall fucking duck. Sorry but uhacky. I'll give him three and a half talls for being pretty, pretty sure what would you rate him, mike, five out of five honks, you're biased five
Speaker 2:out of five honks the fact that you made the clap horn all right, matt, the fact that you made the clown horn noise alright, matt alright, I got a few things give me one, I'll do the shortest.
Speaker 5:First the shortest story the tallest chainsaw. So the tallest chainsaw is a chainsaw. So the tallest chainsaw is a chainsaw called big gus.
Speaker 3:And big gus, yeah, that's one of those things that you cannot say it without having some sort of southern twang big, it's not it's not big gus, it's big g see, that's the thing is like.
Speaker 5:I thought that this would be a thing in like Alabama or Mississippi or something like that, but it's actually outside of a business in Michigan.
Speaker 5:And this was actually a post that I found on Facebook and it has a description it says known as the world's largest working chainsaw. That's an important distinction. Big Gus is 22 feet long and weighs around 3,500 pounds. God damn, he's a massive, functioning chainsaw displayed at the Eupress Tourist Trap in Ishpeming, ishpeming, michigan. He's custom built to highlight the scale and power of logging equipment and to draw visitors to the quirky roadside attraction, which features unique displays celebrating Upper Peninsula culture. And it's just a. It's a big, fucking blue chainsaw.
Speaker 5:And I guess apparently this thing does, goes runs.
Speaker 3:I was gonna say do you have like, um like footage, or have you seen footage of it actually running? Big Gus works.
Speaker 5:I haven't seen footage of it. Let's see if we can fucking find some. How about that?
Speaker 4:Hell yeah, there it is right there oh shit. Big.
Speaker 5:Gus, Big Gus going boy.
Speaker 3:Holy shit, that thing's huge, holy fuck. Oh my god, this dude's power is. There's an actual trigger.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's literally putting his arm around it. Dog Big Gus fucks Dude.
Speaker 3:this looks like something straight up. I'm imagining this a fucking redwoods right. I'm imagining like a gundam fight going on like they stumble past this and they just use yeah like oh my god yes, like pacific rim, where, if you hit the boat, why is he using a chainsaw? Go fight on big gus's farm.
Speaker 2:I don't know why you're fighting in the ocean. There's no chains, chainsaws there.
Speaker 4:I want to see Big Gus fight Paul Bunyan.
Speaker 5:The thing about Big Gus to me, though, is like yeah, it's running technically, but are these blades really spinning fast enough?
Speaker 3:to cut anything down.
Speaker 2:They look pretty slow. I don't think anything would get cut with this.
Speaker 5:Imagine the size.
Speaker 2:It might take a while.
Speaker 3:Imagine the size of the Bruce Campbell.
Speaker 6:That you would need to have this on Seriously. How did he die.
Speaker 4:He jumped on the big Gus.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that, okay. So I'm gonna give big Gus four and a half. It would be a five, but it does not Look like it runs fast enough to cut.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I'm. I'm gonna give it a four simply because, yes, it's a chainsaw, yes, its name is big Gus. All of these things are working for it. However, I think it might take me hours to cut down like a tree if there's footage of it cutting anything, then it's a five yeah, that's, that's exactly what I was gonna say.
Speaker 5:You can prove to me that Gus is doing putting in work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and not like a like oh, if you put this near a tree for like a year, it'll cut it down Like that. No like, give me, it has to be a decent amount of time.
Speaker 3:This'll be. I did a things. Next video, making an actual giant functional chainsaw to cut the plant in half, obviously, doug.
Speaker 4:Oh, obviously, doug, I'll give it a 4.5. That was pretty fucking tall Pretty fucking tall.
Speaker 2:I digged it Tall ass chainsaw.
Speaker 3:And everyone remember. Long is just tall, the long way Stop giving away our secret the long way.
Speaker 5:Now it's tall. Long is just tall.
Speaker 2:Long and tall are the same
Speaker 3:shit, giving away our secret the long way, if you take anything long and put it on its side now it's tall, it's tall, long is just tall.
Speaker 2:Long and tall are the same shit, just like smell and taste. Well, I'm going to go in a bit of a different direction with one of mine. Okay, do you? I want you guys to pick one or two, okay, three.
Speaker 3:Oh, say it out loud Two Cool, I thought you were giving us options. Yeah, I thought you had more after that just wanted to.
Speaker 2:I only I have two, but I'm pretty sure both of mine are gonna end in a lot of questions. I'm pretty sure, um, all right. So you said two, right, yeah, cool. So the tallest enema in the world is actually at a Russian spa resort that has built an 800 pound monument to one of its most famous treatments, the enema wait, how is an enema tall?
Speaker 3:isn't? Isn't enema an act?
Speaker 4:it's not a machine it's an act and it's also a device. Are they saying what came out of?
Speaker 2:no, it's so. It's the device that delivers said enema to the person so in through the butt out through the mouth. So this is this is a better way to describe it this statue is actually. It's cheating a little bit, because it is not solely of the enema device is it functional? I doubt it. I don't think it is. I don't and I know that'll hurt it, but that's okay. This sculpture it's 800 pounds and it shows an enema on the back of two very small toddlers.
Speaker 3:Oh so it is a large enema by name only. It's what An enema. Two very small toddlers. Oh so it is a largest enema by name only, it's what An enema.
Speaker 2:No, the first part, you said the tallest. And I'm enema Pretty much. I was trying to find something like the highest point where an enema was given or something like that, but this is all I could really find for it.
Speaker 5:Why the like? I guess these are toddlers. They're like cherubs.
Speaker 2:Isn't that not the same thing, just different backstory?
Speaker 5:Well, they have wings. Oh, do they? The one in the back does yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I see it now. Oh yeah, okay, I didn't see that before, so okay, that actually makes it fucking weirder yeah, why three? Sheriffs celebrating the most gigantic enema you have ever fucking seen in your life. Yes, you're right. It is held aloft by three Botticelli style angels. It was revealed at the Mashuk Akva term spa in Southern city of fucking hell. That is an episode.
Speaker 4:Nailed it.
Speaker 2:You're not Russian, it's okay. Um, this is a quote from the director saying there is no kitsch or obscenity. It is a successful work of art. Quote from the director saying there is no kitsch or obscenity. It is a successful work of art.
Speaker 5:An enema is almost a symbol of our region. You don't want that. I choose to believe that they just went with standard toddlers at first and somebody was like what the fuck man?
Speaker 3:Why is?
Speaker 5:there an enema just on toddlers, and then they gave them wings to make it less weird.
Speaker 4:They're angels, it's fine. Now, they're angels, it's fine. It's a cherub, it's fine, it's not a child.
Speaker 3:Stop asking questions.
Speaker 4:I haven't been doing this to children.
Speaker 3:What I like, the idea that they didn't even give them like the wings were such just like cardboard that they stapled on.
Speaker 4:It's like paper mache that they spray painted. You can tell they're glued a little bit, just a little bit.
Speaker 2:They're welded. They've got that pattern in it. If you guys could guess how much this costs to install what would you say 1.2 million. Wait.
Speaker 4:It's pure bronze Dollars, or ruples, euros, actually Dollars or ruples.
Speaker 2:Euros actually Dollars or euros?
Speaker 3:Euros Speckles 2.3 million euros. Okay.
Speaker 4:Doug 688,000 pesos, whatever.
Speaker 5:Euros. Okay, matt, I'm going with like $200,000. So like what? Is that Like 150? Well, well, matt is closest dang.
Speaker 4:This cost 21,000 euros okay wow, that's not a really tall amount. No, it's not a really tall number, but the end of it itself is really fucking tall.
Speaker 2:That's fair. It was installed in a square in front of the spa with an accompanying banner. Hold the fuck on.
Speaker 4:Can you request, can you request to use the really tall enema when you go?
Speaker 2:I'm sure you can. I don't know what their answer would be Like service.
Speaker 4:Fucking bronze.
Speaker 2:So there's a banner that also accompanies this fucking statue, and here's what it says let's beat Constipation and sloppiness With enemas. Banner that also accompanies this fucking statue, and here's what it says let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas.
Speaker 5:What is happening?
Speaker 3:Where's that again? Yeah, I was literally about to say I can't pronounce it In Russia.
Speaker 4:Zeles novzok this sounds like why is weird as shit? Kind of fucking Russia. If you're Russian can you explain this to me Someone?
Speaker 2:Make it make sense. The fucking addition for the slogan of let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas.
Speaker 5:It's just very strange to me that this is anything that someone felt passionate enough about.
Speaker 2:Or paid an exorbitant amount of money for Like over 50 grand, I think, is what that turns out to be US. The sculptor, whose name is Svetlana Avakina, said she had designed the monument with quote-unquote irony and humor in mind and was inspired by the works of Italian Renaissance painter Alessandro Botticelli. I don't think that's true, more like Botticelli. The device oh my God, this is not a real quote. Are you fucking kidding me? This device is eternal. It will never change. She said. We can promote this brand, turn it to a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors this has got to be one of the quickest enema this is gonna be one of those things
Speaker 5:where like this is what they wanted. They just wanted people to talk about it, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, 100, we just fell prey. I. How do you not, though, with a fucking slogan like let's beat constipation and sloppiness with animals?
Speaker 5:that's just fucking, that's got sloppiness. That's my question.
Speaker 2:I understand what constipation is, but sloppiness Following that word, I think Pepto-Bismol should sue I agree. I think any kind of publicity these people can get is good for them.
Speaker 5:What are we ranking this? I'm giving it.
Speaker 2:It's not functional. Sure yeah, the functionality thing that really yeah, that part, maybe not even a 3.
Speaker 5:I'm giving it a 2. This is a 2 out of 3.
Speaker 3:Yeah, 2 for me, I will give it a 3 for concept, but in my heart it's a 2 because it's just a statue. If someone were to shove this up their butt.
Speaker 5:Like functional or not, I'd upgrade it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I need pics of it being used and I'll give it a better score.
Speaker 2:I'll do a follow-up, I'll go three.
Speaker 3:What are?
Speaker 2:you rating. It Me Like a one.
Speaker 5:It should have been a fucking bronze statue.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's a missed opportunity oh my god that would have been bad oh my god, yeah, it should have been a fountain 100% if they're already gonna spend that much money on it it's so cheap non-functional bullshit, you know right yeah, but yeah, that's my world's tallest enema, weighs 800 pounds. I dig it. And he's in Russia, which makes sense.
Speaker 3:What? All right, doug back to you what you got, boo All right, we're going to play a game.
Speaker 4:Oh wait, do we want a tall fact about something Jason is scared of or isn't scared of?
Speaker 3:Is Is oh no, all right, all right cool.
Speaker 4:That makes this way easier and it's very short. Have you guys ever heard of a darwin's bark spider? Yes, I'm bye, I'm going is that the one that was just discovered?
Speaker 3:I know I I don't know there's a brand new spider that was just discovered in australia. It's the world's most venomous spider.
Speaker 4:Well, that's not this, then. This spider spins the longest known webs, spanning up to 25 meters, which is basically used for them to just cross rivers. So they will spin a web across a whole fucking river just to scare Jason how do they do that? Out of their butts, mike, oh right, yeah well, how do they get shit?
Speaker 3:25, I don't get I truly have no idea.
Speaker 4:I don't even understand that. I don't even understand the process of them going over water, like how does that? Yeah, I don't really know, um, but that being said, they spin this web. This is really actually just a fun fact their silk is tougher than Kevlar what are these things called again? Darwin's Bark Spiders Darwin's.
Speaker 5:Bark Spiders.
Speaker 4:I guess I should have looked up a picture too. Darwin's Ark spider.
Speaker 3:They'd be anyone that hates spiders. It's about to pop up.
Speaker 4:Yeah, arachnophobia warning. Arachnophobia warning, it's an ugly little bitch. Yeah, it's like I don't know, man, cute is like jumping wolf spider. Well, not wolf spiders. Those little, those little guys, yeah, the guys with the big eyeballs yeah, that's pretty cute. They're just fuzzy little guys they are just fuzzy little guys, um, but uh, that being said, I don't have a whole lot on that, I just thought that was interesting. So the animal that jason's not afraid of is called a. How do you say a U with the umlaut over it? U?
Speaker 5:U.
Speaker 4:So these are called Ruples Griffin Vultures and they hold the world record of flying at an altitude of 37,000 feet, which is taller than fucking Mount Everest, to put in perspective. Damn bro yeah. And unlucky fact is one got hit by a jet in Africa. I feel like that's gonna happen if you're flying that yeah, it doesn't seem like that, seems like not possible, but I don't know too heavy, absolutely. What does a fucking Rupel's griffin vulture look?
Speaker 5:like it just looks like a like, it looks like a bird, it looks like a vulture look at the twitch.
Speaker 4:He looks mean, you think he's, you think he's nice.
Speaker 3:I mean it's a vulture, they're all mean I feel, yeah, I feel like you're just cranky about the fact that you are a vulture.
Speaker 5:You woke up as a vulture and you're just like fuck.
Speaker 4:Do you want one more? That you are a vulture. You woke up as a vulture and you're just like fuck. Do you want one more animal? One more animal fact. Hold on to it.
Speaker 3:Hold on to it, I got plenty.
Speaker 2:He has so many, I got plenty.
Speaker 3:Let me pull something up for you boys. I want to pull up, I'm going to pull up. Have you guys heard of I'm going to pull up the Tallest Girl, and by the Tallest Girl I mean the movie Tall Girl from 2019. Have you heard of this? No, no.
Speaker 3:So the movie Tall Girl talks about the life of a high school girl who is very tall. She goes into, she's away for summer, comes back and boy, is she tall. She's like 6'3", 6'4" tall girl. The director is Nzinga Stewart and his stars Ava, michelle, griffin, gluck and Sabrina Carpenter. Look at that and I know what you're thinking. Is it that Sabrina Carpenter Look at?
Speaker 5:that. Wow.
Speaker 3:And I know what you're thinking. Is it that Sabrina Carpenter? Yes, yes, it is. But Tall Girl is basically the life, the troubles, the perils of Tall Girl and the way that she has to maneuver through high school. The boy that she likes doesn't like her back because she's tall. She has a best friend, a little dwarf of a boy.
Speaker 3:And by dwarf. I mean, he's just an average tall man, man-child boy To her. He's small, but he's just normal. He's one of those drama kids. He's a drama kid. He's in school plays, he's a geeky dude but he has a crush on Tall Girl. What is he going to? Um, and it ends up at the end. Spoiler, and this you are.
Speaker 3:You are trying to convince us to watch this movie, or they get together why would and I bring this up because of the sequel tall girl 2, or as I like to call it, too tall, too girl wait, wait, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 4:I just realized something yeah, did we, we didn't even, we didn didn't even rate halls on animal facts.
Speaker 3:Oh shit, you're right. Okay, so tall is on the animal facts the spider thing, spider meter web, that's a five meter web. That's a five out of five. That's a tall web.
Speaker 2:Zero out of five, because there's an abomination to nature. What about you?
Speaker 4:I'll give the spider a 3. It's tall, but I mean, I guess relative to the spider 25 meter web, that's 75 feet dog. I'm aware of how math works.
Speaker 5:Yeah that's pretty fucking big he almost said it.
Speaker 2:He almost said the thing. He almost said it that's pretty fucking tall.
Speaker 4:If you say that's pretty fucking tall to the thing we're talking about it's an automatic five.
Speaker 5:I'll give the spider a five.
Speaker 2:If you're surprised at the bigness.
Speaker 1:Fives baby, Really fucking tall podcast.
Speaker 3:We did it. The Vulture, I'm gonna give give it a three and a half, because it's not necessarily that it's tall, it's just flying tall. You said the Vulture can fly 35,000 feet up in the air.
Speaker 2:There's almost no oxygen up there. That's insane.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but it's too heavy.
Speaker 5:What the fuck's going on there it's too heavy. Yeah, I'm going to give it a three and a half.
Speaker 4:That's like I hit by a plane. Yeah, I'll probably give that one a three too. That wasn't my best work.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:From what.
Speaker 2:I heard I'd give it about a three.
Speaker 5:Okay, yeah, I'll give it a three just because it's not the object.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's good qualities, good way to determine tall right German Paul Right yeah.
Speaker 3:So, anyway, back to tall girl. So, tall girl again. It was a 2019 film, um, about the trials and tribulations of tall girl. Um, you do get like. I mentioned before the sequel tall girl to this sequel came out in 2022. It's fairly recent, but essentially what this is is now. You know, you know there's trouble in fucking tall girl and small boyfriend. You know, they're kind of arguing a little bit, they kind of do a little bit of a breakup and she realizes that he was like the cool, he kept her in a good spot, he was good. She thought that she could conquer the world without him. No, you need small boyfriend Storyline. After Jodi gains popularity, her miscommunications start causing a risk with those around her and now she really needs to stand tall. There's three of these movies.
Speaker 5:I have to assume that a major plot point here Is that she's bad at basketball, right?
Speaker 3:No, I don't think she actually plays basketball.
Speaker 5:Then why not? Why would you not?
Speaker 3:Jodi, the tall school girl in high school, always felt uncomfortable in her own skin. But after years of slouching and being made fun of and avoiding attention at all costs, jodi finally decides to feel confidence to stand tall. I'm more shocked that Sabrina fucking Carpenter is in this movie. Yeah, this is bad.
Speaker 2:Hey, to be fair, it's not good.
Speaker 3:And Angela King's leaving the office We've got to take whatever work they can. But Sabrina Carpenter, she's like a big name Holy shit, fucking Angela's in this. But I wanted to bring those up Because how many movies about too tall Too old do you have in?
Speaker 5:life About too tall people 74% of Google users Like this movie Well they're wrong 74% of Google users are fucking moron.
Speaker 3:I would recommend everybody watch the cosmonaut uh variety hour. Uh, cosmonaut picture show. Uh uh video on tall girl and tall girl too, because it is the funniest thing you'll see in a long, long time. Everyone should just see cosmonaut uh uh picture show. It's one of the best things on YouTube. Kyle's not pee-pee show, but that's tall girl and too tall to girl. What do you think?
Speaker 4:Zero, that's a one for me what?
Speaker 2:I give it a one. What? She's dark gargantuan, so is Yao Ming Fuck.
Speaker 5:It's just a. She's not like the tallest woman in the world, though tallest in school this goes back to like the clown thing right. I'm seeing a theme with Mike's face like yes, tallest clown, but if you just look at him as a person, he's not that tall you can argue that about all these, you have fucking highest flying bird.
Speaker 3:But if you look at it as just a bird, it's just a bird. Well, yeah we gave it like two because of that damn Mike.
Speaker 4:What was the first search engine you googled?
Speaker 3:tall girl in oh, I've known about tall girl because of the cosmonaut.
Speaker 2:Oh, so you didn't have to google it, you just knew about it I knew about it correct you didn't start at pornhub at pornhub or anything like that.
Speaker 3:No, he normally does start there. If you could find me the tallest girl in porn. How do you think I got to the tallest clown? Ooh wait, have we covered?
Speaker 4:biggest penis ever yet. I believe, jason, jason had cumshot, not penis. I knew it was like Dick adjacent. Yeah, I knew it was like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, all right, dick, dick adjacent. Yeah, yeah, that's fair, dick adjacent.
Speaker 3:Oh, call her pee pee Matt, what you.
Speaker 5:What you Tallest telephone. So in 1988. In 1988. A, an insurance company based in the Netherlands called Central Bahir, built an 8 foot tall functional telephone. It's like an old style handset and it was so large that it had to be answered with a crane like, if you wanted to make a call they had to roll a crane in and pick up the handset.
Speaker 2:I'm just imagining the receivers on the ground and you've called someone, you're connected and you run over to the area where you speak and you go.
Speaker 1:Hey how are you good?
Speaker 4:they didn't have to miss every call. By the time the crane can pick the phone up. It's like weighing way too many times.
Speaker 5:I like to imagine that they like wheeled this thing in and they were like all right, all the calls to the insurance company are going through this phone now.
Speaker 3:I was about to say imagine taking the time to answer that thing with the crane and all you hear is just are you aware that your extended warranty is about to expire? We are trying to reach it Boom Direct. So is it functional? Yeah, it's functional.
Speaker 5:It works. That's why they have to listen to the crane. So you can make a call with it. It's got buttons on it.
Speaker 2:You can press the buttons Dial it up how much force it takes to push the buttons. There's just a guy jumping on it.
Speaker 5:You need the world's tallest finger for that.
Speaker 2:If only somebody had researched that.
Speaker 3:Imagine slamming that phone. It would cause an earthquake in town.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but it would make such a statement though.
Speaker 2:That's what they should do.
Speaker 5:They should rent this thing out if it still exists and be like do you really need to hang up on somebody with gusto?
Speaker 2:Really make a point. Do you want their earth to shake when you hang up on them?
Speaker 5:We'll call them on this for you for $100.
Speaker 3:God, how exhausting would it be if you try to dial out a phone number and you actually hit the wrong number. You got to hang it up, pick it back up and try again, like, oh god, it's a fucking 45 minute process like just to order dominoes. I'm curious what the speakers are like, oh, 911 yeah right, it's probably.
Speaker 2:It'll probably blow your fucking eardrums away. Honestly, I want to know what. So hanging up on someone is one thing. I want to know what. Like a like slamming the phone down, like does, like they just delete a town, like that's why it calls the earthquake?
Speaker 4:yeah, yeah, can you imagine like living like in a mile radius of this thing and like someone calls it? Oh god imagine, imagine.
Speaker 3:Imagine the sounds that the world's tallest modem dial-up modem makes. When you pick up the world's tallest phone, everyone in the vicinity deaf it's like a fucking.
Speaker 2:What's that the myth, the monument mythos is that over, oh yeah, climbs up the towers to turn them all off.
Speaker 3:Yeah, president James Dean.
Speaker 5:I want, like dead mouse, to like do a set, but use this as the speakers.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, I feel like dead mouse or marshmallow would be one of the two to do that.
Speaker 3:Dead mouth. Five, hell yeah, five yeah.
Speaker 4:Dead mouth five.
Speaker 3:Yeah, 10 out of 5,. Yeah, 10 out of 5,. Yeah, that's the world's tallest cell phone, Jesus. Honestly, that was pretty tall and it works. That's a 5 out of 5.
Speaker 4:That's a 5 out of 5. For me too, I think that's a 5 out of 5.
Speaker 2:That's a 5 for me. Yeah, baby.
Speaker 1:Really fucking tall Podcast.
Speaker 2:Alright, I only have the one other, simply because I was kind of engrossed in this one. It's a lot of fun. Have you guys ever heard the name Adam Rainer Rainer? I hardly know her. Nope, I'll take that as a resounding no. Couldn't follow up that.
Speaker 2:Adam Rainer was a man that was born in Hungary in 1899. He enlisted in the Austro-Hungarian army in 1917 and he intended to contribute his services and possibly his life fighting in World War I. However, army officials basically just scoffed at Rainer's stature, and it turns out he was no more than like four feet tall. Now, simply because it's 1899. Oh, I know, we'll get there, don't worry. Oh, just you fucking wait. Being that it's 1899, records of individuals aren't exactly the best, so it actually puts his height anywhere between, uh, four foot six inches and three foot five inches. So four foot six is the absolute tallest he could have been. Three foot five is absolutely the shortest he could have been that's really not tall it's very, not at all so.
Speaker 2:Um, apparently four foot six is the clinical threshold for dwarfism, and so he was a diagnosed with dwarfism at that moment and b rejected from the army. Um, so he's turned away. Now had these same individuals run into this and run into adam rainer several years later, not just like a decade later, I think it said it was like eight years later. Um, they would not have recognized him in the slightest because he now measured to be what was it? It was over seven feet, it was, I think seven foot eight was where he was at like eight years later, jesus christ, mm-hmm, how'd he do it, jason?
Speaker 2:so this is the, the. The world's tallest dwarf is what I am going to go over today. The world's tallest individual with dwarfism is adam rayner, because when he enlisted in the army, he had dwarfism, still has dwarfism, but he also has something called genetics of a tree.
Speaker 3:What happened to this fucking dude? Yes, god damn.
Speaker 2:It says the likely cause is something called acromegaly, which is a disorder of your pituitary gland. It's the same shit that uh fucks his name, andre the giant. He had uh, acromegaly as well. Um, and that's why he got to be like I think he was actually was seven foot what? Six, something like that. He was huge. You guys remember him. He was a giant. It's in the name. It's in the name um, and that actually that launched his wrestling career. Um made him famous. I'm sure many of you have at least heard the name, if not seen um things that he's done.
Speaker 5:So I heard this means put down like 40 beers or some crazy shit like that, yeah there's that picture of a regular sizesized beer in his hand.
Speaker 4:It looks like a fucking mini can?
Speaker 3:It looks fucking tiny.
Speaker 4:Regular-sized Rudy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, regular-sized Rudy.
Speaker 4:What is? That from. I have no idea. I don't actually. Is it Bob's Burgers?
Speaker 5:It sounds right. If you say it with enough confidence, it is yeah, but he's really small.
Speaker 4:It is.
Speaker 5:Bob's Burgers yeah, is bob's regular?
Speaker 2:yeah, he's um, so yeah, so this, this individual identifies as both a dwarf and a giant at the same time, which I did not fucking think was possible, because of how contradictory that is. Um, but no, the uh, adam rayner qualified for dwarfism, keeping him out of the army, which was something he wanted to do, which I guess that's sad. For that, however, had he joined, he probably would have died or he would have survived eight years and then stomped all over his enemies. So how tall was he at the end, 7'8".
Speaker 5:That's pretty tall.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I'm sorry, 7'3". I'm sorry 7'3", that's pretty tall.
Speaker 5:Oh no, I'm sorry, 7'3". I'm sorry, 7'3". Okay, that's a big difference.
Speaker 2:Still tall, still tall, going from fucking. Let's say shortest 3'6", highest 4'6" 3'5", double in your height, bro. That's fucking insane, as an adult too. What did he learn how to photosynthesize? When? Did saying as an adult, to what he had learned how to photosynthesize when did you say, like 1899 is when he was born are?
Speaker 5:there any photos?
Speaker 2:yeah, there's actually a lot of them, adam, and then RAI NER PP. Ep I so actually there was, there were a lot of EP. There were a lot of.
Speaker 3:There were a lot of.
Speaker 2:A lot of images released Around this anomaly that actually did not contain An image of Adam Rainer. However, since then there have been many, many, many Images brought forth and tagged appropriately. He doesn't look as fucked up as you think he would. Oh yeah, he looks normal as shit. You would just kind of level out.
Speaker 5:I mean he do be looking a little weird, but it's. It's not like I would expect somebody who goes, who has dwarfism, who grows, like this, to just be like really, really oddly proportioned, but he'd just be looking like a dude sorry he slowed down growing.
Speaker 2:At seven feet three inches they don't actually have his total height, but he, he kept growing until he died and he did, he died. He died in a Do, do, do, do, do, oh in 1930. He grew so big, he blew up. Somebody loved him so much that he just kept growing. So in 1930, a doctor actually performed an operation to remove his the tumor.
Speaker 3:Chop off his legs.
Speaker 2:Chop off his legs make it normal, yeah, a height decrease, uh no. In 1930, uh Hirsch performed an operation to remove a pituitary tumor, which is thought to be one of the things causing his drastic change in height difference. Um, and hopefully halt his growth. Uh, he survived the then. Now it's more common, but then it was very risky. However, the disorder itself was not eliminated completely, and apparently so, everything in his body halted the growing process, except for his spine, and apparently his spine Grew into his intestine, perforating it, which made him die of sepsis. Oh well, that's unfortunate. That is fucked up, that's badass, that's fucking badass.
Speaker 2:And apparently in between. So he grew to 7'1, and about 1932, and between 1932 and 1950, he gained another 7 inches of height. Where, though, that's a solid?
Speaker 3:question Doug, unfortunately still a dwarf in where it counts.
Speaker 2:That's what we're actually talking about. It's a giant in height.
Speaker 3:Tallest man, dwarfism Hog, was more of a piglet.
Speaker 2:So he his height was very impressive. However, the tallest man in the world measured up to be about eight feet 11 inches, so not quite standing up to like I stood by a regular human, however, someone who is a dwarf growing to be fucking 7. 7'10". Jesus Christ, that's insane Pretty fucking tall. Pretty fucking tall.
Speaker 3:You know what? That's pretty fucking tall. I'm gonna give that 5 out of 5 talls too, I'm giving that five talls.
Speaker 4:I'll give it five. That's a comeback story. If I've ever heard one you know what that means.
Speaker 1:We're the fucking tall podcast.
Speaker 5:I do like an underdog story.
Speaker 4:We like when they come back. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, like the Kardashian, yeah, yeah, yeah, we, the Kardashian, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know the Chris Pratt bit.
Speaker 2:Who's next? Just one little piece of reference. Is it me again?
Speaker 5:I think so.
Speaker 2:I think it might be. But just a quick piece of reference, for tallest guy in the world was 8'11". When he was five years old he was five feet tall, four inches put some respect on robert wadlow's name when you refer to him.
Speaker 5:He'd be wadlowing around robert wadlow yeah five foot four at age.
Speaker 2:Five, that's wild pretty sure the equation is not your age in feet plus four inches Dude, imagine trying to deal with the terrible twos when your kid's like four feet tall.
Speaker 3:That could be like what my eating you up.
Speaker 2:Eating the shit out of you.
Speaker 3:That could be looking at me. I'd be like go to your room. I want to go to my room. Yeah, alright, alright. I'll be in the other room. I guess I'll go, You're right.
Speaker 4:I'm going to go to my room, I guess.
Speaker 3:Fucking six-foot-tall ten-year-old Shit. Fuck this.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, yeah, that's fucking wild. Some of the kids we get in surgery are also.
Speaker 3:Nah.
Speaker 4:We had a six-year-old that like almost six feet tall at one point. Goodness gracious, stupid doug. All right, so I got. I got a section. This is gonna be this. This I'm gonna bring up some mountains. Have we done this before?
Speaker 3:have we heard about this? Have you heard? Have you heard about what is a?
Speaker 4:pipes before I get into mountains. Random trivia for tall, all right, okay, but the long, tall, but the long way, all right. Uh, there's a fungus in oregon that's, uh, the largest living organism on earth by area and it spans four square miles underground that's not so it's tall, the long way.
Speaker 2:One fucking mushroom.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's fucking wild.
Speaker 2:But, anyways.
Speaker 4:so so we all know Mount Everest is fucking big right, it's the fucking tallest mountain as far as the tallest point on Earth technically.
Speaker 2:As long as you don't go and do Antarctica, yeah.
Speaker 4:So Mauna Kea, if you've heard of this mountain, is actually taller than Mount Everest. However, it's just underwater, monika, I think you pronounced Monika. It's just mostly underwater, mike, get out. So Everest is 8,848 meters, mauna Kea is 10,210. Yes, thank you, jason. This is better. So it's taller overall, it's just mostly underwater. You know what I'm saying. It kind of gets a bad rap right?
Speaker 5:Aren't most islands just really tall mountains? Really, All islands are really tall mountains, yeah right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's true, I don't know. Every island is just really tall.
Speaker 5:It's just a mountain that has water on it. That's fair. That's true. A mountain is mostly water.
Speaker 4:So, aside from that, have you heard of Mount Thor? Ooh, no, that sounds fun.
Speaker 2:I've never tried to do that, mount Thor is located in Baffin Island, canada and it has the tallest vertical drop on Earth, are you sure?
Speaker 4:Norway, norway, I heard the newer it's 4,100 feet straight down. Damn Jesus, straight down. I guess a lot of people like to bass trumpet. It's like a huge bass trumpet.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah. You mean wings to come off that bitch.
Speaker 4:But are you familiar with Olympus Mons?
Speaker 2:Yeah, on Mars.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so Mount Everest comparatively is 88oms, mons 88,000. Yeah, she's, yeah. What a guy Guess how tall Olympus Mons is, how tall is?
Speaker 3:Mount.
Speaker 4:Everest. Mount Everest is 88,800 feet, 8,000?
Speaker 2:153,000 feet.
Speaker 4:Or meters, meters, sorry, 153,000 feet or meters 153,000 meters, then Times that by 3.
Speaker 3:Is that 24,000 feet?
Speaker 2:25,000 feet. That's pretty close actually 21,000 feet.
Speaker 4:You almost nailed it For Everest or the Mars one.
Speaker 3:Mars.
Speaker 2:Everest is what Like 19,000?, 17? Okay, all right.
Speaker 4:Let's rewind here. Everest is 8,800 meters.
Speaker 2:Okay, the meters thing is fucking me up, that's right, which is 29,000 feet.
Speaker 4:It's 29,000 feet. Yeah. Olympus Mons is 21,000 meters, which is about 69, wow, so it's three times taller. It's also extremely wide. You know how wide, really wide podcast bro you know how wide this bitch is.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna say the size of like let's do it in miles we've got one, we've got five more directions. We'll go like 400 miles.
Speaker 4:Bro, are you reading my notes 400?
Speaker 1:Was I right it's 370 miles wide.
Speaker 5:Oh baby.
Speaker 4:It's almost a chode bro. It's big as fuck bro.
Speaker 2:Is there? Hold on, I need a scientific equation for chode.
Speaker 4:But fun fact it's actually so massive on mars that it actually curves with the planet's surface. Um so if you ever stood at the base of olympus mons, you'd actually never see the top. It would just be like that's kind of sick actually isn't it kind of crazy I I love this thing I, I love planet stuff and outer space stuff.
Speaker 3:It's just so crazy to me um what's it called is, are you? Are you saying olympus mod like mod mons?
Speaker 2:oh like pokemons gotcha like your mons pubis, but a mountain don't talk about my mom's pubis jernine, I'm sorry if you're kidding.
Speaker 4:Jernine's moms.
Speaker 2:That's the new name for Mars' largest mountain.
Speaker 4:Yeah, no, I just had a couple mountain facts. That's all I had for mountains, that's fine.
Speaker 5:Here's the thing, though If they're measuring it at the base, you gotta chub it up first. Where are you going with this? No, you gotta chub it up first. Where are you going with this?
Speaker 4:No, yeah, you gotta chub it up first, but. Do you do it from the base or do you do it from the balls?
Speaker 5:Exactly.
Speaker 4:Balls of the mountain or base Are you allowed to push?
Speaker 5:in, like you know.
Speaker 2:Like yeah, on the groin Right, exactly To make it look bigger, like like, like, yeah, on the groin, exactly exactly is it trimmed?
Speaker 4:is the Olympus Mons trimmed? I'm not sure. Actually, are you allowed to?
Speaker 2:compact the soil around the mountain is.
Speaker 5:I guess what we're asking yeah this is what I was gonna ask a much different direction. We got too hung up. This is what I was going to ask A much different direction.
Speaker 2:Forget it. We got too hung up on the girthiness.
Speaker 5:What were you going to ask? We're not hung enough the water. So if Mars had oceans, would the water cover part of the base of the mountain? Because the thing with Everest, right is it's like it's 29,000 feet from sea level, right, yeah, yep. So, is Olympus Mons, though 70-whatever-thousand feet from what would be Mars' sea level Versus bottom of the ocean.
Speaker 4:Right, and I don't know, actually, because I don't know if we have a. That's a solid question. I don't know if they have a map of where water would have been on Mars if Well, why not? Doug Right.
Speaker 3:I don't know. Come on, space man, give me the fucking facts. You brought this to us.
Speaker 2:He's like fuck my life, Really fucking.
Speaker 4:I fucking tall podcast.
Speaker 3:I have no answer, other than that we have questions, doug oh, you're right honestly, I'm glad you played that, because Olympus Mons is giving a 5 Olympic man is getting a 5 for me, that's tall as fuck.
Speaker 4:I'll give Olympus Mons a 5. That's like 65,000 feet, honestly, I don't even care how tall it is. It's so wide, bro, it's so wide and that's really what matters anyway 370 fucking miles horizontally tall.
Speaker 2:That's insane, that's a big one.
Speaker 3:That's a lot of feet. That is Tell me, do you want something living or something not living? That's crazy. That's a lot of feet. That is Tell me, do you want something living or something not living Living.
Speaker 4:You've done a lot of living, let's get some not living.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, your clown was alive, your girl was alive, so I have in front of me the world's longest sorry, lord's tallest, tallest, world's tallest, world's tallest couch, world's tallest dead elephant, world's tallest couch. So there is a couch and it's long, and by long I mean tall because long is just tall, the long way it is 1000 meters tall. It's like two thirds of 3,302 feet and six inches. This was made in Russia. What's up with Russia, dude?
Speaker 3:well, they on July 25th of 2014, the Russian furniture company Manogo Mabelli manufactured the just over one kilometer long sofa in celebration of the company's five year anniversary. Muffuckers.
Speaker 2:Oh, tall as fuck. I thought it was like to scale. But it's just a regular ass size sofa, just real, fucking Really tall. So you could get really tall, you could sit on it, you could. And you'd be comfy, big as fuck, tall as fuck, we'll get the lingo done.
Speaker 3:One day, tall as fuck. This is only our second episode Technically third, vindicators 11. We'll get there what?
Speaker 4:are we doing.
Speaker 2:What are you doing on that couch? What aren't you doing on that couch?
Speaker 5:That's actually a better couch. This is the new casting couch. Having the world's narrowest orgy.
Speaker 4:Narrowest yeah the world's tallest orgy, World's longest train.
Speaker 2:Yeah there you go, the longest elephant train Right here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't have much more information on it besides that, but it is just like your standard looking red couch, it's red. I thought that was pretty dang neato.
Speaker 2:It looks like a pretty good couch? I don't know yeah, I think as far as couches go, it looks soft.
Speaker 3:I'll give it that.
Speaker 5:I don't know it's a soft looking couch. It's kind of like leathery. Like what material is this?
Speaker 3:I doubt it's leather. That's a lot of leathers weather. It's way too many cows.
Speaker 5:Yeah, we need more cows.
Speaker 2:Okay, you know how many homeless homeless people are probably sleeping on that thing, and a lot of leathers, leather, that's way too many cows yeah we need more cows.
Speaker 4:You know how many homeless people are probably sleeping on that thing and pissing on it because they installed fucking spikes Doug.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is Russia. Oh, this is Russia yeah.
Speaker 5:Yeah, no, they just took them out, you know how many dead homeless people are on that thing.
Speaker 2:That's what it's made out of, actually. So spikes come out at night, so when they're sleeping, it's just like yeah, this couch is made of at least 2,000 homeless people. It's a human couch.
Speaker 3:So let's take a look, let's go from the non-living to the living. Let's go to the world's tallest elephant Now. Last time, if you guys recall Living or dead Last time, if you guys recall living or dead last time, if you guys recall, um, I did the world's tallest giraffe and we are all a little disappointed because we found out giraffes aren't.
Speaker 3:Don't be as tall, but elephants, on the other hand, elephants are pretty fucking tall, you know, elephants are huge. So what do you think? The world's tallest elephant? How tall do you think the world's tallest? 40?
Speaker 4:three feet. Three feet for the world's tallest elephant.
Speaker 3:How tall do you think the world's tallest elephant is? 40. Three feet. Three feet for the world's tallest elephant. Well, you're going to be very impressed then.
Speaker 2:I've set myself up for success.
Speaker 3:What you thinking? Matt 50. Yeah, look, 50 feet for the world's tallest elephant. Five stories Wow. Why not?
Speaker 4:Doug, what are you thinking?
Speaker 3:I said 40 without a unit 40. So world's tallest elephant? You are all about to be disappointed once again, because the world's tallest elephant is a name I can't pronounce Ramachandran was born in 1964, is an Indian elephant. Owned by who? I didn't say born in 1964, is an Indian elephant and is the world's tallest? Huh, who's it owned by? I didn't say owned. I said it's an Indian elephant.
Speaker 2:I know, but that's the next sentence that you're skipping over because you don't want to pronounce that word.
Speaker 3:Yep gonna skip it. It's commonly known as Raman. He is the tallest living captive elephant in Asia, standing at 319 centimeters or 10 feet 5 inches.
Speaker 2:I am glad they specified it was the tallest living elephant.
Speaker 5:It's really not that tall man 10 feet, that's it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I thought elephants were bigger.
Speaker 5:We're back at the giraffe thing. Is this the world's tallest elephant, or is this the world's tallest captive elephant?
Speaker 3:It says you did say the word captive, it does say captive. I'll give you that. Ah, you got me there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got me there. Ah, so there might be a world's tallest, probably a bigger one.
Speaker 5:Hold the fuck on. This is an elephant we have at home.
Speaker 2:There's literally a list of individual elephants on Wikipedia. What does that mean? Is that all of them? Of course there is Every single one. No, go up Every elephant.
Speaker 5:We made a Wikipedia page for every elephant.
Speaker 3:See also See lists of individual elephants. It's just a list of elephants. Oh yeah, it tells you all about them Circus.
Speaker 2:Elephants, carrying elephants, fanny elephants what?
Speaker 3:Tallest elephant recorded 13 feet. Oh shit, motherfucker, I was wrong 24,000 pounds get a giant of Angola, an adult male.
Speaker 2:African Savannah elephant guess where it lives? Africa. It's called the Giant of Angola.
Speaker 4:Well, this is African Savannah elephant, probably Angolia.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Doug, for finding the obvious answer that I walked Mike to.
Speaker 3:This also says the 13 feet, but this says bull elephant, african bull elephant.
Speaker 2:Angola, 1972. It's got a big old dick.
Speaker 3:Either way, I was wrong. It's 13 feet.
Speaker 2:No, no, you were right if you were talking about captive elephants.
Speaker 3:Not as tall as I thought. No, I thought elephants were as big as fuck I'm noticing a trend with animals.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why aren't they bigger?
Speaker 3:Get bigger 100 men versus one elephant I think we could take it. Well, yeah, that's how we got here, isn't it we?
Speaker 2:used to hunt those.
Speaker 4:I swear I could be wrong and someone fact-checked me on this, but I think the reason animals aren't as big as they used to be is because of the oxygen.
Speaker 2:Yeah there used to be way more oxygen. Because there's way more plant life.
Speaker 3:That's why we don't got bugs. That are you. You remember how bugs yeah like fucking bugs were a mess.
Speaker 5:Sloths were huge, but then like volcanoes erupted and shit and like dumped a bunch of carbon dioxide into the air and now we have little baby.
Speaker 2:The.
Speaker 6:Amazon rainforest and shit. Now we have 13 foot tall elephants.
Speaker 3:We need some olifants in this world, some onlyfants. Olifants, yeah, olifants, do you guys want to do?
Speaker 2:one more.
Speaker 3:Go for it, I'm out.
Speaker 2:I've exhausted my interesting facts. Do you guys have any more? You guys can guess which of us.
Speaker 5:I mean I've got a few more, but they're not terribly yeah.
Speaker 4:I've got a few, but they're Probably not super Talkative worthy.
Speaker 3:Well, first off, what are you going to rate the elephant out of five? Like one, that's a one.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's a one for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah that's a one man. That's really upsetting, honestly.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, I have. I have two more as well, so I guess I'll just get them. I have three more when?
Speaker 4:are we at?
Speaker 5:time-wise time was before Mike continues to power in more than 18 minutes, but I don't know how much of that was break.
Speaker 3:There was a decent break. We have at least 15 minutes of break?
Speaker 5:Probably not, but probably not Probably about seven. Just do the last one.
Speaker 3:Okay, so I'll do one more then, just because I went to very big things to go to very small things, what do you think is the world's tallest ant boys?
Speaker 4:An inch An inch, an inch, two inches, two, with no unit. Okay.
Speaker 3:Well, it is the Dinopanera gigantea and it is. It can get up to 1.6 inches. That was close. Yeah, yeah, you were right there, um, with the and, and I think these are the females, yeah, the females, and they're, they're big old ants, big old, big old ants, um, but they're usually in south america but they can be found on the coast of the crimean goyana.
Speaker 5:I feel about ants like I'm people who feel about spiders ants just suck.
Speaker 4:Ants are just annoying bro hey, borax powder and sugar.
Speaker 3:You kill every single one of them and just real quick, because we're here, I got the world's tallest cake, which is 108 feet.
Speaker 5:Jesus, fuck a 10 story building in Indonesia that's fucking cute.
Speaker 2:Look at that bitch that's a 10-story building.
Speaker 3:I even have the dimensions of what it's made of. I have the dimensions of the cake are 33 meters in height, 9 meters in width, so 108 feet tall, about 30 feet wide. Weighs 20 tons. The ingredients include 1,750 kilograms of powdered sugar. 3,800 pounds of sugar. That was just the powder sugar, holy shit. 3,800 pounds of sugar. That was just the powdered sugar, yeah it's 3,800 pounds of sugar 500 pounds, yeah, powdered sugar 3,800 pounds of powdered sugar, 3,500 pounds of regular sugar. Hold up 3,500 pounds of powdered milk, no margarine.
Speaker 2:You're going ahead.
Speaker 4:Did people eat this? Because, because, if not, that's the biggest waste of fucking food.
Speaker 5:It's the same yes, back up 300, this one in china, because if it's this one in china it doesn't count, because it's got like it's got like five feet of gap between like it's in indonesia it's in senayan city in indonesia.
Speaker 3:It also also has 535 pounds of powdered chocolate and 100 liters of liquid sugar and 3200 kilograms of eggs. Jesus, 71, 7142 pounds of eggs. How many chickens did they get? Oh my god.
Speaker 4:That's why the?
Speaker 5:egg prices are going up, bro oh my god, they built this fucking cake In 2008. In 2008.
Speaker 4:We're feeling the repercussions. It just took a while to hit.
Speaker 3:It just took a while, you know, yep. And then I have I think we covered already tallest trees Hyperion is 380 feet.
Speaker 4:Oh that was one of mine, actually Nice. Yeah, dug one over that. Actually fun fact its location is fucking secret.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because they don't want people to come around and fuck it up.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but you know what is fucking it up? Goddamn woodpeckers. Yeah, stupid assholes. Stupid asshole. You want to know what the tallest flowering plant is? Yeah, it's the mountain ash, native to Australia, and it can grow 100 meters tall.
Speaker 2:Jesus Christ, what 300 feet.
Speaker 4:Man, I'd be out here slanging just tall at you guys and you don't even know.
Speaker 2:If this was a competition, I think Doug wins Does he just chat so many tall things at us real quick Like holy fuck.
Speaker 3:Damn, that's a big ass flower.
Speaker 2:I never thought I would enjoy this content like more than our regular content, but today was one of those days.
Speaker 3:It was a pretty good time. It was a lot of fun, Matt. Do you have any other ones that you want to share?
Speaker 5:Big ass pair of scissors, hell yeah. Big ass pair of scissors, hell yeah.
Speaker 4:I like how we all had like a very like specific kind of like thing that we were going to talk about our specific tisms were very apparent this one.
Speaker 5:See, I'm like almost afraid to say it because I know it isn't really that impressive. It's a 10 foot long, tall pair of scissors by the Arizona Science Center, and they built the scissors to celebrate the opening of the Science of Guinness World Records exhibit. Which makes sense Like if you're going to open a thing for Guinness, you've got to be like man we've got to open it with the biggest scissors right.
Speaker 3:You know what? Because of that.
Speaker 1:Really fucking tall podcast.
Speaker 3:You got it, buddy.
Speaker 4:Why does my cat look so concerned? Right now, you do be looking pretty concerned. He's like what the hell is that?
Speaker 3:What's in your feeling? Doug Well, boys, I think this was a very successful, really Tall Podcast episode. Really fucking tall I can't wait for the Deloady to really pop off with this.
Speaker 4:I don't know when this happened, but fucking Craig is in the fucking Discord right now, Craig.
Speaker 3:haven't seen you in a hot minute, Craig.
Speaker 4:I haven't seen.
Speaker 2:Craig in a minute. Is it Craig or Tall Craig?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's important.
Speaker 5:Craig stopped paying us, it's Craig. Craig, now he's back paying us. He stopped paying us?
Speaker 4:Oh, he is paying us. Okay, how does Discord even know? Like I was thinking about that the other day, I'm like, if someone stops, do they just still have access to this fucking?
Speaker 5:channel it. I was thinking about that the other day. If someone stops, do they still have access to this fucking channel? It's got a plug-in like a bot thing that removes the rule at this upend.
Speaker 4:You're fine for now, Craig.
Speaker 2:But don't get on our bad side. It's very hands-off, which is what we like.
Speaker 3:It's fucking Craig. Well, everybody, thank you for joining us on.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 3:Tall Podcast. Appreciate everything that you do for us and that you stick around, and next week you Tonight.
Speaker 4:You. I fucking love Aqua Teen oh man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's all I got. I'm gonna go ahead and say Go out in the world and if you find the world's tallest dad, give him a smooch with your world's tallest lips. Jason, what do you got?
Speaker 2:Be paranoid. The world's tallest lips could be anywhere. It could be anywhere Done anytime.
Speaker 4:Slap the world's tallest bean against the world's tallest peen and, I guess, write into guinness about it and then we'll talk about it and cover for the ensuing shockwave matt, are you?
Speaker 3:oh, do you wish you would have played the world's tallest game of oblivion right now?
Speaker 5:sure man, all three pixels of you guys is great right now. I apologize this time.
Speaker 4:I don't know what can we talk about? How broken fucking oblivion is and and I know it was already broken, but man, I saw somebody just totally break that game in a matter of minutes and it was hilarious, I mean yeah, that's kind of.
Speaker 3:Let's talk about it next time.
Speaker 2:On Dragon Ball Z.
Speaker 3:Bye, everybody On. Smackdown.
Speaker 5:Don't look under the internet. Outro Music.
