Don't Look Under the Internet
Don't Look Under the Internet
DLUTI 197 - Prehistoric Emergence
This week we take a look at another example of everyone's favorite unfiction medium.
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don't look under the internet I'll take a shot to that all right, hell yeah okay yeah yeah, we're cool cheers, doug, hello everyone.
Speaker 4:this is your daily dose of deludy hi, everybody. Hi, we're here, we're we're. We're here, we're vibing kind of we're in. We're here, we're vibing kind of we're in a deluty mood. Hi, this is Don't Look Under the Internet. Internet comedy horror podcast featuring the likes of yours truly. That's Doug. Hi, that's Matt.
Speaker 2:I am alive.
Speaker 4:This fella to my right is Jason, hello, and I'm on Jason's left and I'm Mike For now, yeah, and we're here and we're doing a podcast. We're doing a big podcast. We're all feeling super good about this, mike especially knows what he's doing right now.
Speaker 3:Cannot tell you. This man knows exactly where the sentence is going, what the point is and what's coming right after.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So I'm going to start this off with a bit of a very simple, very straight to the point little clap above your head. Got an easy one for us. We only have one name to give a shout out to. So we're going to play the timed we're going to play the game of old days. We're going to play the fat, the time the we're going to play. We're going to play the game of old days. Name to play come time, Doug, that's what he said. We're going to play the game of.
Speaker 1:Oh, he's like we're going to play fat and then just stop talking and I was like what, we're going to play the game of name.
Speaker 4:Is it good, is it bad? You tell me so definitely a name.
Speaker 3:That's the one thing you know.
Speaker 4:We're going to give a shout out to Major Bear yeah. I'm yep, considering it's Pride Month, major Bear, I'm cool with it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, do you know Major Laser and what if there's a Major Laser Bear you?
Speaker 1:mean Diplo and friends.
Speaker 4:Diplo and friends and his bear posse. Diplo and Friends sounds like one of those like child cartoons like Baby Looney Tunes or something you just get, Diplo and Friends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's just like a bunch of babies playing EDM.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I heard a baby cop has actually got a cameo in some of that.
Speaker 4:Baby cops, a baby cop stripper. Now he's not doing so hot after that, he's a baby.
Speaker 3:YMCA. He's making more money now than when he was on the force. I don't know.
Speaker 4:The baby.
Speaker 2:YMCA. They are the young men, they are the young men.
Speaker 4:They are the young men, god damn it Doug.
Speaker 2:Look at me, I'm the young men now.
Speaker 3:Well, we're clearly talking about something to do with police officers or the YMCA today. Right, we're talking about people. None of those things.
Speaker 2:There's no bird scooter that can get us out of this.
Speaker 4:Oh no, I got my ways.
Speaker 3:You got our four by4 bird scooter you can pull us out with, I just need some all-wheel drive my guy.
Speaker 4:An all-wheel drive electric scooter. A bird toe at this point. That concludes housekeeping. Major Bear, good name, I think we can all agree after that, love that. Yeah, it's pretty solid. It's funny because we may not be talking about a major bear, but we are talking about a major other type of animal, wow.
Speaker 1:Let's rewind that a little bit. Let's do that again.
Speaker 3:Let's put any amount of effort into that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, try it one more time. You know, you guys never stopped to ask if I should. You only asked if I could segue us into our topic.
Speaker 1:I thought you were going to say you guys never ask if I'm major, okay.
Speaker 3:Holy Lord, y'all didn't ask if I should.
Speaker 4:Oh, I see the segue now Segue us into our topic and our topic today Dino.
Speaker 1:DNA.
Speaker 4:We're talking about something prehistoric. It's a dinosaur Talking about them coming out of a hole. We'll get to that.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah.
Speaker 4:Not Mel's bowl, though that's a different topic.
Speaker 1:That's what she said.
Speaker 4:It's one of our smut books that we have in the box. It's next to the milking farm. We're talking about prehistoric emergence. Hell yeah, or P for short, or P. I saw that. I saw that. I saw that on your doc.
Speaker 2:I'm like hey.
Speaker 3:Jason. Well, if you're European, it might be P yeah Um so a little bit of a backstory to this.
Speaker 4:So we're talking about prehistoric emergence, which is a YouTube analog horror that I found that has a very surprisingly large amount of views on it and I figured new Jurassic World movies coming out soon. Why not try to get in?
Speaker 3:with the algorithm, take advantage.
Speaker 4:Yeah, see if this might not spark a couple extra views or something. We'll see, who knows. So, matt, whenever you upload this to YouTube, make sure in the title it's just Dino Dino, dino, dino.
Speaker 2:Dino, Dino.
Speaker 3:Jurassic.
Speaker 2:World Dinosaur. Dinosaur Call it Prehistoric Dinosaur.
Speaker 1:No, name it like Jurassic World Dominion or whatever it's called.
Speaker 4:NADP like RIP DVD, RIP X Dominion or whatever it's called yeah.
Speaker 1:I was about to say Like, like, like, like, like, like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like like, like, like, like, like, like, like.
Speaker 4:They'll think it's the movie We'll hack our way into a fucking sponsor deal.
Speaker 3:I'm tempted.
Speaker 1:Hey, it's not illegal right Probably.
Speaker 3:I'm just going to take the poster and just put Doug's face over here. It's transformative, fuck you.
Speaker 2:This is parody now.
Speaker 4:Nowhere did it say this is an actual thing. So again, a little bit of an analog horror. It's very short. Um, we're gonna cover season one. I think you, jason and Doug.
Speaker 3:I did watch the 22 minute video. That is the first episode of season one. Yeah, you are correct, and you can actually if you look here you'll see exactly where I decided it was bedtime ready there. Oh, I wonder what happened here.
Speaker 2:You can actually, if you look here, you'll see exactly where I decided it was bedtime Ready there.
Speaker 3:Oh, I wonder what happened here.
Speaker 4:It's just the same letter over and over again, so you watched the season two of episode one. Yeah, and you got season two, video two, nice. So, yeah, yeah, we got a lot to talk about. Yeah, we're going to dive into it.
Speaker 3:So, jason, you're going to start us off with video one, just in general. So start us off with this. This boy, you did say this is analog horror. Right, technically it is okay, because you definitely would not get that at all from the first five seconds.
Speaker 2:So the first thing we see is the emergency alert system like this before, damn it, I'm already I'm gonna be a good boy today.
Speaker 1:I'm going I thought it was like a nature documentary, I don't know it's matt.
Speaker 3:I am going to walk you right up to the line and see if you step over. That's my goal today. Um so again, never seen this before in any analog horrors. We get the emergency broadcast system or the eas emergency alert system, and this is what this says is don't go in the water. The two-minute playback of this part of the video amounts to about don't go in the water. You're not allowed to go in the water. The water's bad for reasons. Fish fuck it yeah fish fuck.
Speaker 3:You don't want to swim in fish fuck, and that's just what we think for you. However, do you want to visually describe fish fuck, and that's just what we think for you.
Speaker 2:However, do you want to visually describe the first five seconds of this? Just really give a real good, thorough description.
Speaker 3:Just go right into it. All right, you're going to get this really long, just klaxon, just horn, over and over again going, and you're going to hit the emergency broadcast system in like a red banner with young letters.
Speaker 2:It's so blue there's so much blue and there's, and you're going to hit the emergency broadcast system in like a red banner with a young letter.
Speaker 3:There's so much blue and there's a ticker, yeah, there's a big ticker that goes across the bottom telling you, and it's all in an AI voice saying do not go in the water. Stay away from the water. Any activities, such as boating, swimming, are prohibited. Do not go in the water, do not go in the water Do?
Speaker 2:not go in the water.
Speaker 3:Do not go in the water. Do not go in the water. We're like, okay, that's-.
Speaker 1:New vocal stem unlocked.
Speaker 3:Apparently, the reason that we are not allowed to go near the water or be in the water or do activities in the water like swimming is because there is a apparently previously thought to be extinct species are now roaming the ocean. There's out there and now like, yeah, there's probably a colacanth or two down there right. A what Colacanth? Yeah, it's a big fish that has horrendous teeth, but it's been alive since the three-star camps.
Speaker 1:Real big fish.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Probably. Oh shit, did we cover that on Really Tall Podcast.
Speaker 4:No.
Speaker 2:We got another episode, fuck, yes.
Speaker 3:So, like there are definitely versions of prehistoric creatures that are alive today, like lobsters or mollusks or those fucking trilobites, or man, or man or man I mean man and dinosaur we're not allowed at the same time, no, but but a man can. Cockroaches, yes, dragonflies technically I'm going off topic. Basically, what this is claiming is that don't go in the water because these fucking massive killer things are now in the ocean. We don't know why. Where they came from, they say maybe they came from this big blue hole that appeared in the ocean, which apparently could be an entrance to a region where many other extinct creatures exist. It goes over. This is all the EAS again, and it switches over from this to kind of give you a little bit more information about the different types of creatures that they've actually seen come out of this big blue hole.
Speaker 3:The blue hole the first one is you know, I will never forget this name. The first name that we come across is the Mosasaurus, and if you want to hear what it's actually pronounced, as in the video, it's the Mosasaurus, mosasaurus, mosasaurus, and you will hear this a lot. I almost soundbited it and put it on the soundboard. Didn't know. I all of you would. But you are welcome. This is the Mosasaurus. The Mosasaurus is described as a nightmarish marine predator. It swims up to 30 miles an hour. It's about 50 fucking feet long and apparently prefers the Atlantic to the Pacific or any of the other oceans. I was going to go through them and then I realized I don't think I know all of them. I'm in Ferris, that's fine.
Speaker 1:There are oceans.
Speaker 3:There are. There's several, and one of the things that you do need to know about the Mosasaurus is that it's defining characteristic is that when it's looking for prey or trying to find something to eat, it pokes his head above water to look around. I feel like we could have just figured that out ourselves, but, lucky us, we have a step-by-step walkthrough on how to deal with the mosasaurus. It's like I said, it's 50 feet long, like that's a fucking huge, and it is it's. It basically just eats anything that swims, anything loves, uh, people. It's known to find boats and capsize them and just eat everybody inside since the emergence of this mosasaurus from the big blue hole in the bottom of the ocean you think we'd notice you?
Speaker 4:well, they did hole. They did like before things came out of it. I don't think a hole just into thin air and things were just like hey unless you're looking at it wouldn't it suck just like a fuck load of water down into it, I mean that was what I thought the next question was going to be.
Speaker 3:So apparently this big blue hole is actually on the other side of it. Is there's actually more water than I mean?
Speaker 2:I guess that makes sense if sea creatures the other side of it is there's actually more water than I mean I guess I make sense of sea creatures are coming out of it.
Speaker 3:There's water in it it's 100 however reverse hollow earth but apparently the pressure of the pressure of the water on the other side of this hole is being pushed into this side of the hole so there's more, there's more pressure inside, so it's like ejecting these things it's either pressurized or there's more water.
Speaker 3:Right, it's, yes. So it's either pressurized or there's actually more water through this hole, which you know doesn't make a whole lot of fucking sense, considering it's still in the earth at the bottom of the ocean. There's a hole in the bucket in the bottom of the ocean whatever that whole song, a frog and a log and a bog in the bottom of it. Yeah, exactly so these, this blue hole popped up and apparently several of them have popped up where these different prehistoric creatures have been emerging and just wreaking havoc on our modern world. So that's the Mosasaurus. That's a big one. The next one they go over is something called this. My favorite, one, best name is the dunkle osteus. I do like donkey, the Dunkleosteus Dunkle. This thing was known as the first apex predator to have ever existed.
Speaker 4:The historic ocean runs on Duncan. I was about to say you can now catch this fish doing video game commentary and let's plays. You can find them on YouTube Video Game Donkey.
Speaker 3:It's very cool, this fish doing video game commentary and let's plays. You can find them on YouTube Video game donkey. Video game donkey First Apex Predator, and the defining feature of this thing is actually it's kind of small. It's 13 feet long. However, its head, face and back are almost completely armored, which they go on to say. The only way that you can get through this armor is with harpoons or high velocity rounds, which, yeah, that tracks. Again, this thing's about 13 feet long. What about torpedoes and shit, though? I think anything. Can we nuke the fish? Anything harpoon, high velocity rounds, or more devastating than those things, I think.
Speaker 2:I just wanted to clear things up. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:Want to go harpoon some donks bro.
Speaker 4:Who harpoon in their dunk right now.
Speaker 3:It sounds so sexual. It's not even funny but holy. Sounds like a lot of things to be fair. Sounds like I don't know what it is, I won't be doing that poon in some dunks this weekend.
Speaker 3:There it is poon in the dunks, damn alright. So this thing is labeled as, like the god damn it, spooning some dunks. I cannot get that, that phrase, out of my head. Um, okay, I'm gonna try to get to this next part. As I said, it's 13 feet long. Um, it's got armor all over its head, face and and body. However it's, the bite force is what's really really terrifying here. A crocodile has the bite force of about 3,200 PSI. This thing 13 feet long, so technically shorter.
Speaker 1:He's broken.
Speaker 3:So broken. That's it. This is more proof that it's not. It's not whoever goes last, yeah yeah, yeah his glasses are off tears are coming out he's legit
Speaker 2:broken oh my god, at least we're making Naomi's job easy Very.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so this thing bites almost, is almost twice out of a crocodile at 6,000 PSI, which is a fuckload. This video, this portion of the video, ends with, it's like an advice section. It says advice for if you ever do encounter one of these things, they swim incredibly fast, you will not see it coming. So if you come into an encounter with one, in order to survive, use avoidance, use avoidance. That's what it says. It wasn't very effective. Aka Try to no longer be in that situation anymore. That's how I took that, like yeah, what?
Speaker 4:Here's what you do. Step one Don't do it, don't be there, don't have done that I'm trying to make it sound so scientific, use avoidance.
Speaker 2:Use avoidance, just try not being somewhere where that might be an issue. Have you tried that stupid.
Speaker 3:Try avoidance, just try it. Just try it.
Speaker 1:Have you tried it?
Speaker 3:And if that doesn't work, try not avoiding it. Maybe that'll work. That's the Dunkleosteus, the armored fish, the last thing that they go over as one of the major appearances of creatures is Sorry.
Speaker 4:I just imagined a bunch of scientists in a laboratory with a clipboard. They're just like damn it. Running right into it didn't work. What else can we do? Try using avoidance. Avoidance, of course, right, don't run into it. Never thought of that. Huh, that's subject one, just don't my. God it worked, it worked.
Speaker 1:We found out the ultimate answer to how not to die to this thing.
Speaker 3:You just don't you don't you just be stubborn. The very last creature that is coming from these blue holes that we're going to go over in this video is the megalodon. A lot of people probably know what this is. Um, it's basically just a giant fucking shark, and this was one of the biggest marine based um predators. Uh, to ever roam the ocean, I guess. To ever roam the ocean, I guess to ever pred. And this thing's emergence from the blue hole apparently causes major marine population decline.
Speaker 2:Predators emerging from the blue hole.
Speaker 3:Is this hard yet, matt? Is this difficult? Yeah, so this thing eats up to 2500 pounds of food a day, which means the majority of ecosystems around the world. If any more than one of these things gets loose in the ocean, it will not take long for this thing to decimate those. Um, and they talk about how this is actually going to interact, or how it's going to affect, uh, human food source, which means we can't really go in the ocean anymore for these things. They're eating all the fish, so we're losing all our fish and we might, because of it, um, the very last, the very last thing we hear in this video, um is, for now, the ocean is no longer in our control.
Speaker 3:Oh shit Was it ever.
Speaker 2:Huh, was it ever? It's the ocean.
Speaker 3:We've never done that, no, it literally has never been in our control. So yes, business as usual.
Speaker 1:If he'd say we own the ocean, if you ask. Trump he'd be like it's our ocean, the best ocean we have full control over it. We're going to put a dome over the ocean.
Speaker 3:It's blue. That's one of the colors on the flag. We're going to nuke the ocean. We're going to nuke the ocean and all the fish living in it.
Speaker 2:I mean, we did that.
Speaker 1:We're putting tariffs on the mackerels.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh, we're circumcising All the porpoises. So that's your. That's how it ends.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that literally Just says, for now, the ocean is no longer In our control. And Fuck. That is the end Of the first video. Damn you, poseidon. Yeah, fuck Poseidon.
Speaker 4:Well, yeah, I think he fucked that guy. Yeah, there's. There's more of this, so um oh yeah, there's definitely more of this so oh, you thought we were finished um there's.
Speaker 2:The next video is called prehistoric emergence serpents of wrath, and really it follows kind of the same structure as Jason's video. But what we're finding out this time is that there's more prehistoric animals and they're coming out of holes on the land this time Not just in the ocean.
Speaker 3:Are they blue or are they brown?
Speaker 2:They're every color in between. Yeah, some of them are orange, so they're coming Are any of them Mel's.
Speaker 3:Mel-colored.
Speaker 2:No, they're Mel Jr's.
Speaker 3:Mel's Jr holes, mel's.
Speaker 2:Jr no.
Speaker 1:Can't we talk about Jr holes on this?
Speaker 2:They are the predators, though right am I right? Yeah, anyway, there's a whole thing here, the asian news, the asian news network informs us all about these holes on land.
Speaker 2:so, um, we we talk about holes that are in lots of different places, and first up is australia, and of course there's crazy shit happening in australia with animals all the time. So I'm not sure if these came out of the hole or not, but apparently they got big-ass Komodo dragons down there called Megalanias, megalanias, yeah, megamalanias, megalanias. So they're hiding in the woods and they're jumping out and eating people, and so in this video we get a nice little demonstration of a like a cartoon cutout of like a fucking bathroom sign man against a green background. And you got your little mega, mega Melania there. And this hiker wanders into the forest and everything gets all glitchy and then bam, it jumps out and kills him and he bleeds all over the place. And it does the analog horror thing where, for some reason, in the middle of a news broadcast, it glitches, even though there's absolutely nothing paranormal at play here. It glitches and there's something you're not supposed to see.
Speaker 2:oh no, anyway, these mega, mega milanias are also just wandering around in downtown Sydney, so we see that it's like the size of a fucking car. Anyway, they fucking eat people. So now to America, and America has woolly mammoths.
Speaker 3:We found out a few factoids about woolly mammoths.
Speaker 2:We are conveniently told in this news broadcast that is telling us not toids about woolly mammoths. We are conveniently told in this news broadcast that is telling us not to hunt these woolly mammoths, that woolly mammoth tusks are worth up to and exceeding $10,000.
Speaker 3:But don't hunt them.
Speaker 2:But don't hunt them.
Speaker 3:And also we haven't done that while they were alive at all. There's definitely not cave paintings showing humans hunting woolly mammoths, yeah, but don't risk provoking a woolly mammoth.
Speaker 2:Stay away from them as much as possible, unless you were to find one at a zoo, and that's exactly what Toronto has done.
Speaker 3:It's taken a woolly mammoth and they put it in a zoo.
Speaker 2:So we got zoo mammoth. Now you can visit the new exhibition on 9-14 of 2024 and we're giving the Toronto Zoo website where you can go buy tickets and go see the woolly mammoth.
Speaker 3:Oompie, oompie.
Speaker 2:Oompie, yeah, oompie, the woolly mammoth, but now more on the ocean. So back in the ocean things, while this. This is happening on land, meanwhile.
Speaker 2:Meanwhile we've got killer sperm whales named Livyatons, which I thought when I first watched this I was like stupid, that's Leviathan. And then I looked it up and I was like no, that's actually how this is pronounced. It's Livyaton, which is basically a gigantic sperm whale with razor sharp teeth. It's apparently hunting the Megalodon. So like I guess like the Megalodon and the Libyatons are like in this crazy circle where they're just like eating each other, sneaking up on each other, controlling each other's populations. So that's what's happening there. Back on land, this time we got Columbia and India. So Columbia and India, they just got big ass snakes. They got snakes. The snakes are wandering around, they're sucking people down in their weird fucking dislocated jaw gullets, they're wrapping themselves around gigantic statues, and that's what's going on in Columbia and India. And to deal with all this craziness, we learned that there's a new organization called the GPAC. The GPAC is called Global Prehistoric Affairs Commission, which Global Prehistoric Affairs Commission sounds more like a like an HOA type deal to me, but for like people like the prehistoric era.
Speaker 2:But what they're, what they're apparently doing, is trying to figure out how to control these things. The conclusion that they come to is a bunch of countries are going to start throwing bombs down these holes, and so we get this little diagram of a hole and then, like old school style TNT where it looks like they're just Acme TNT throwing them down in the hole and detonating them, and that's the solution to this, we sent the bravest commando, wile E Coyote, down into the hole. Destabilize the crust of the earth is our solution to this?
Speaker 3:is what it seems like to me that's a bad plan. That's a really bad plan.
Speaker 2:The last area that we talk about is Billings Montana, so a big old hole has opened up in the middle of billings montana. We get a picture of this hole in billings montana, um which maybe this isn't the montana I'm familiar with, but this hole in billings montana is surrounded by tropical foliage, it's like it's like a picture of the rainforest and then there's a hole, there's just nothing yeah, um montana if you don't know, is in it's in the northwestern united states
Speaker 2:temperate north yeah where it's very dry and there are not a lot of trees and it's mostly mountains, mostly mountains but this hole opened up and now a bunch of palm trees are growing around it, and while these palm trees are growing around it, there's a weird, really weird, strange sound coming out of it, and it's theorized that this crazy sound is whatever is driving all these animals out. So the the video is like oh no, there's something even bigger underground and it's chasing the things that are eating us and they're running away from it, and then they're eating us. It's going to be really bad.
Speaker 4:Oh no, don't come up here.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I don't want you to. Oh no, no please.
Speaker 4:No, I'm just a boy. It's also my birthday, no, no. And that's that.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's that video.
Speaker 4:Fascinating stuff from Matt we got sea things, and now Tropical Montana.
Speaker 3:Tropical Montana, thanks honey. Tropicana, montana's sister Tropicana.
Speaker 4:Tropical.
Speaker 3:Montana, there's Tropical Montana.
Speaker 4:It's her cousin that couldn't make it.
Speaker 3:Well, she started the Tropicana brand. Yeah, and that's just the word. Smashed together, it's a whole family Conspiracy.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and they say Billy Ray Cyrus Doesn't pick favorites Anyway. So I got video three here. It's called the Tyrant Lizard King, so you might Be able to piece together what the fuck mine's all about here. But crazy thing here Even more fishing boats. Can you believe it have been capsized? What was that from the motosaurus?
Speaker 3:Mosasaurus.
Speaker 4:Mosasaurus yeah.
Speaker 3:Motosaurus Hello moto, the mosasaurus.
Speaker 4:You know before, when they're like hey, no one go out fishing. Yeah, people didn't listen because boats flipped, weird, we're back in Montana. Or, as we like to call it, tropicana, tropicana.
Speaker 2:Trapanta.
Speaker 4:Trapanta, trapanta. Something big has emerged out of here and we don't really like it. And oh, we're about to find out what it is the guy's like. My god, it's a just glitches out, you know, because yeah, important part broadcast got cut off.
Speaker 4:Instead let's hear a little bit from g-pack. I think they have something to say to us. Turns out they have an update. They were bombing those holes to stop things from coming out, but they gave up on that idea. Turns out Too much shit be coming out of the hole. Couldn't do it anymore. Not enough bombs. Off to Texas. We go the Lone Star State, yeehaw In Texas. They're pretty fucked Cause they got fucking Quetzalcoatlus or whatever that thing's name. It's been sighted. He's big, he's a bird. You gotta look out for that Quetzalcoatlus. It's a big leather bird. This motherfucker is 16 feet tall, 500 pounds, which I guess, because they have hollow bones, is why they're so light. I expected something. 16 feet I mean a fucking hippo is like 5,000 pounds. So I expected this thing to be a little bit bigger, but again.
Speaker 3:That's mostly muscle.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and this is a bird Hollow bones, hollow bones.
Speaker 3:Nothing else, he's still a big boy Texas.
Speaker 4:y'all gotta look out, because this thing is apparently migrating.
Speaker 3:It's going all over the place.
Speaker 4:They recommend, if you see a Quetzalcoatlus, to seek shelter in very tight places, because Use avoidance.
Speaker 3:Use avoidance.
Speaker 4:If you see a Quetzalcoatlus, just don't. Just don't and you'll be okay. So they say to seek shelter in tight places like under a vehicle or in an alleyway. Because if there's one thing a 16 foot bird can't do is it can't get into an alleyway.
Speaker 3:Definitely not like a fucking, like being a fish in a barrel at that point.
Speaker 2:One get in the car. But two, I like how the demonstration is showing, like a man running down a road and there's a car that's clearly in the road and he just crawls under it, like I'm assuming this car that's just in the middle of the road is not occupied because of it. I don't know, they run him over. Yeah, I mean, I guess that's a solution. That's a solution.
Speaker 4:My favorite part is it shows it's like get under a vehicle. And then it shows him getting under a vehicle and the bird just like it shows, the bird Pop up by the car and just like, like it's Screaming at him, like how dare you? The one place I can't get to.
Speaker 2:Under a car I've been foiled. This skinny little beak definitely can't get underneath that.
Speaker 4:We also learn about I can't get underneath, that we also learned about. I can't fit under this Ford F-150. No, that's lifted.
Speaker 2:Hide under a Hummer or bigger Texas is not where you want to be hiding under the cars.
Speaker 4:No, maybe Seattle, but not Texas.
Speaker 3:Or Italy.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we also learned about a 12 old boy Named Isaac Ramson, who was Just taken away by one of these.
Speaker 2:He should have avoided better.
Speaker 4:They've been telling us he should have Don'ted, he should have no don't. So he is Presumed dead because it just took him away. And yeah sorry, mrs Ramson, your son got got, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, didn't, and now he's paying for it. Now he did.
Speaker 4:He didn't, don't are then he didn't, didn't, now he did, damn. We also find out that this thing is absolutely Fucking up our livestock. There is even a mention of a farmer in Texas when these Quetzalcoatls keep taking their sheep, and the farmer had this brilliant idea. He's like hey, that 16 foot bird that weighs 500 pounds, I'm gonna have my dog bark at it. And guess what it took the fucking dog. Is anyone surprised that he should have had his dog, don't? Yeah, I don't know what's going on in this man's mind. He sees a 16-foot bird eating his sheep and he's like get it, dog To be fair if there's one thing that dogs are bad at it's donting.
Speaker 4:All right To be fair. If there's one thing that dogs are bad at, it's donting, anyway. So we're going to cut back to the Toronto Zoo here.
Speaker 2:This is the moment in the video where I was watching this. This video is 13 minutes long. I didn't hear a goddamn thing. That happened for the rest of this video, because I was laughing so hard.
Speaker 4:Some bad news everyone.
Speaker 1:Oopie.
Speaker 3:We can't even get faster for the name Oopie died of tuberculosis, oopie got.
Speaker 4:TB Oopie got TB bro, but don't worry, oopie had a son. Oopie got TB bro, but don't worry, oopie had a son, oopie Jr. Don't worry, oh, don't worry huh Can regular elephants even get tuberculosis. Oopie Jr is very sad. Oopie Jr is very sad, but don't worry, we're going to put him on display in like a week, so it's cool.
Speaker 2:The video's got Oopie Jr's last moments with his father, which he's also like. It's like Oopie Jr's last moments with his father and it looks like he's like breastfeeding. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what are you doing, jesus Christ?
Speaker 4:Wrong trunk, oopie, wrong trunk. Oompi Just doing a little suck. He just Oompi tied up TB.
Speaker 3:Oh my god, you guys are going to be so happy Later.
Speaker 2:Did you look up if elephants can get tuberculosis?
Speaker 3:No, I have not done that. I'll do that now, but there is some vindication coming.
Speaker 4:This just in the mammoth has AIDS. The mammoth got maids. I don't know what to do about it.
Speaker 1:Oompy Jr cures AIDS.
Speaker 2:It just caught me, so off guard.
Speaker 4:Beloved Oompy dies of tuberculosis.
Speaker 2:Berkleyosis.
Speaker 3:I love that you're saying tuberculosis. Yeah, elephants can get TB Caused by mycobacterium MTB or M bovis. Thanks Obama. Diseased ground in both captive and wild elephants Wow.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Apparently it can be transmitted Dang. Anyway, we learned something today. I'm so sorry. Sorry, we learned something.
Speaker 4:We're whipping back to Australia now. We just had to get that small update about Oompy's death, so we're whipping back over to Australia. There's so much shit here. You got Megalania Megalania Update on this bitch. It's eating all the kangaroos and that's awful. Why?
Speaker 3:Because kangaroos are important, but why this is actually a legit question. Do kangaroos are important, but why this is actually a legit question? Do kangaroos actually contribute to the human?
Speaker 2:ecosystem. You ever see that guy who boxes a kangaroo for fucking with his dog?
Speaker 4:Yeah, he just walks up to it and just All I've seen is people just punching kangaroos in the face because they're dicks.
Speaker 3:According to this, they're so strong.
Speaker 4:It's bad because kangaroos are important for the ecosystem because they eat the foliage and then they poop, and their poop is good for the soil. I got news for you Kangaroos are the cows of Australia. That is fact, though like 100% you can get kangaroos. Let me see if there's cows in Australia.
Speaker 3:Then we'll see how useless kangaroos are. Are there people out there?
Speaker 2:just grabbing kangaroo tits and squeezing milk.
Speaker 4:But so these kangaroos? They're not doing so good. Yeah, there's so many cows in Australia, turns out. Gpac will pay you, remember before where they're like hey, these mammoths are worth 10 grand, but don't hunt them. Right, gpac will pay you two grand to hunt these medallionias, but don't hunt them. But don't do it. Remember, use don't. Yeah, use don't. They don't want you to, because there's something else out there that might get you. If you try to hunt Megalonia, like, you'll get bored with trying to eat those and that is Thylacolio, which is a panther sized.
Speaker 4:I'm not going to lie. This is disappointing, not anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, RFK Jr has other plans.
Speaker 4:I'm a little disappointed with this because he's like there's something worse out there in Australia and it's a cat, it's just a panther.
Speaker 4:I'm over here expecting like a fucking 40-foot lizard. It's just, it's a cat. It's small. It's like the size of a panther. It's actually relatively small all things considered. Oh sorry, it's got the bite force of a lion. It's got two front incisors that it uses. It's got canine teeth and it uses these to slice through you and whatnot. So it's cool, but I don't think it could take down this fucking like 20-foot. The kangaroos too. I feel like a kangaroo could probably take this fucking cat. I've seen kangaroos. Those things are fucking units. I feel like a kangaroo could take this. I feel like a herd of kangaroos, because they do travel in herds. I feel like kangaroos could take that lizard thing too, just because it's bigger. Don't mean shit.
Speaker 4:I don't know man, cats, cats are dangerous cats. Like grab you and then they like use their hind claws, like rip your guts out and shit. Yeah, but a herd of kangaroo, I feel like it'd take out. They have punch and kick.
Speaker 3:Exactly everything else we're talking about has razor sharp, something punch and kick, but it's a strong. You're punching dinosaurs this is a cat, not a dinosaur you're punching. I want you to tell me how punching a saber tooth tiger goes versus like.
Speaker 4:It'll go bad for me because I'm not a kangaroo. I'm not a kangaroo, so it's going to go bad, but a kangaroo, I think a kangaroo can break its fucking neck. If a dolphin can ejaculate and break your neck a kangaroo can kick a cat and break its neck.
Speaker 3:You're not wrong there, but they're not using their penis to fight.
Speaker 4:I think so. Anyway, I have to end it. I think so. Yeah, this Thylacoleo is this panther thing. It's fucking up the ecosystem as well, and it's hunting people too. So watch out. So don't hunt those two grand lizards Because of cat, because of cat, tldr, kangaroos in trouble.
Speaker 4:So now we find out that the brachiosaurus is back. That's pretty cool. You just gotta be careful, because they will trample you on accident. There's not a lot going on here. They're just like hey, these things are back. They're pretty cool animals, but they will step on you because you're an ant to them, so just stay at least 1,500 feet away. Also, turns out these guys are eating all the trees in the Rocky Mountains, all of them, all the fucking trees. They're even like oh yeah, there's this whole nationwide project to get the trees back into the Rocky Mountains and make sure that all these trees that are going, endangered from lumber and things like that, we're bringing them back. And now the brachiosauruses are just eating them all. They're like what do we do? We can't hunt them because it's just eating trees, but if we don't, they're going to eat all the trees.
Speaker 3:What do we do? There's an opportunity here to recreate that opening sequence from the Flintstones, where they put that giant rack of brachiosaurus ribs on their car. That sounds wonderful. Why aren't we doing that? We?
Speaker 1:should do that.
Speaker 2:I have a lot of questions about things we're not doing in response to what's happening.
Speaker 4:Why aren't we barbecuing these things? We barbecue alligator.
Speaker 1:They were showing those brachiosauruses or whatever walking around and they're like, yeah, they're eating all the fucking trees and it's just another collection of palm trees everywhere.
Speaker 4:Just, you know, the native palm tree that grows in colorado of the adirondack mountains adirondack palm trees um, so we're back in montana, turns out, 313 people in montana have been mauled to death.
Speaker 2:But but by what, by what? Oh, I see the source of the confusion. I'm sorry. Earlier this was Billings Montana, this is Biling's Montana.
Speaker 4:Biling's Montana, I also like how it's a picture of downtown Manhattan like the fucking Empire State Building. That's Montana.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the Montana one.
Speaker 4:Yeah, okay, the money right right more and more as we go through this, you you show that you have not been in montana yeah, I'm sorry, it's kind of embarrassing.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry I was. I was unfamiliar with your game the big apple of montana.
Speaker 4:God damn it, um the big fapple. So 313 people were killed In Bailings Montana, the downtown area, by what? The T-Rex my best T-Rex Scream? 19 T-Rexes are tearing through the downtown area. That's too many. That is a lot of T-Rexes.
Speaker 2:That's an alarming amount of T-Rexes. It's probably way too heavy.
Speaker 3:I have a T-Rexes. That is an alarming amount of T-Rexes. It's probably way too heavy.
Speaker 4:I have a T-Rex that's been hunted and axed, these fools. Yeah, so the GPAC has sent SWAT teams and whatnot as backup, at least military backup. But when they did the T-Rexes vanished dog Without a trace. I don't know how you let something that big vanish without a trace.
Speaker 3:But they did. It's usually in the thin air.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and then we get a smash cut to some weird like Aztec-ian, like dragon Statue head thing. It's got reverse audio and the audio just says Judgment is upon us, judgment is upon us. And then it goes back to the video and the video now states that if you find a T-Rex, you do the tried and true method of shouldn't, of donting. You don't it, you don't. The video says that shooting a T-Rex isn't going to help you in defense because it's got a tiny brain and it's hard to hit that tiny brain. So you might as well just not even try to aim for it. Instead just shoot around the t-rex because it'll scare it away. Now I'm not trying to say I know anything about a t-rex, but I'm pretty damn confident that like a modern, like hunting rifle probably fuck up a t-rex an anti-tank cannon maybe see that I don't think a t-rex is that thick?
Speaker 3:This is my question.
Speaker 2:This goes on to talk about how people are buying guns and shit. Where's the military? Why is GPAC here? We tried throwing bombs down the fucking halls, but why has there not A T-Rex? Can't be an F-16.
Speaker 4:No, we have solutions. Tom Cruise just Danger zone plane as he's just dropping bombs.
Speaker 1:We have solutions.
Speaker 4:Tom Cruise, just dangerous zone plane, as he's just dropping bombs on fucking bailings. We can send the military in to deal with some protesters in LA.
Speaker 2:Surely we can respond a little better to some dinosaurs that are fucking some shit up.
Speaker 4:Coming out of the hole. Speaking of that, though, it does mention that, because of all these dinosaurs, there's been a drastic uptick in firearm sales. It's like it's like, on average, like an 85 percent increase in firearms sales, and they're like manufacturers just can't fucking keep up.
Speaker 2:I assure you that the two places in. America, that you're not going to run out of guns are Montana and Texas.
Speaker 3:Yep, yeah, that's like yeah.
Speaker 4:Number one and number two You're good, I'd buy a gun. If this happened. I'd be like, yeah, I'm strapping up, yeah, that makes sense. Actually, you'd be a fucking moron to not. I'd be bringing like a baseball bat with me everywhere. See, no, what is that?
Speaker 3:going to, so I have both, just in case, like for people and for dinos.
Speaker 4:Yeah, okay, this is my people gun it's a bat.
Speaker 3:It's a bat, it's a manual reload close distance gun, also called a bat.
Speaker 2:Anything's a projectile, if you throw it hard enough.
Speaker 4:Swing it around. This is my gun that shoots bats, anyway. So yeah, don't shoot the t-rex because you can't do anything to it. Buy a gun anyway. I guess also there's one t-rex that has gotten very popular amongst the people because of the way it looks. It vanished along with the rest, but that it just looked very different from the rest, and they nicknamed it Deba Deba, which is Latin for Deba, mm-hmm. Okay, and that's the video.
Speaker 2:Soundtrack by Satanic Lo-Fi Music.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, oh my.
Speaker 4:God Doug what you got oh boy.
Speaker 1:What do I got? So video four is called the First Apex Predators, and it starts off with a video of Blue Hole 1066. As you see this hole, hole, you start to see what looks like maybe a giant tentacle coming out of it. Maybe it's a giant penis, possibly maybe a squid, I am unsure until it fully comes out of the hole and you see that it is for sure a giant squid and it is in fact not a penis, but well.
Speaker 3:I don't care anymore. Doesn't a squid just have 9 penises? I'm pretty and it is in fact not a penis, but well, I don't care anymore. Doesn't a squid just have 9 penises?
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure it is 48 penises without looking anything up.
Speaker 4:I think you're right without checking, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I wrote my notes as if I was going to be very curious as to how this was going to play out. So I said giant squids, I'm pretty sure are still around, and not something new at all, but what the fuck do I know, right? So, um, after you see all these squids come out of this hole, they address the cyber attack, they call, or they called it with the uh, prehistoric animals learned how to hack.
Speaker 2:I'm jack jacked in Now, I'm interested.
Speaker 1:It's a bunch of like those little dinosaurs that are like really annoying in Jurassic Park the first movie oh yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:So anyways, they address the cyber attack. They're like, yes, fucking prank bro, fucking prank dudes, and we just have to take them at their word for it. So, to answer your guys', question from the last video, they now are saying that the military has been deployed globally. Please bear with us run amok dinosaur. Um. So I know we just talked about a lot of stuff, giant squids, military being deployed, but fuck all that shit. We're moving on to a completely different topic apex. Predators are fuckingators are fucking resurfacing. Alright.
Speaker 3:The Dungalastus no.
Speaker 1:No Wrong, it's actually the Anomalocaris and it looks like a funky little shrimp guy. He's a little shrimp, he's an Apex Predator. He's one of the first Apex Predators. Hey, hey, size doesn't matter, he's an apex predator.
Speaker 4:He's one of the first apex predators. Hey, hey, size doesn't matter, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we find out that this little scrimp Is back in action, right. And then we learn that they're shipworms and they're destroying boats and docks Because they burrow into the wood and they're like, damn it, all our shit's falling apart. But don't worry, these shrimpy boys, they be eating the worms and helping out. So we're like, all right, cool shit. Now we learn. Now we learn, all right, that the order of I'm gonna butcher this name the ordovician Kraken has also emerged. So I called it a giant squid earlier. I was wrong. All right, I admit, when I'm wrong, it's a Kraken, all right, these dick bags will be attacking humans and they be hiding in shallow seas Like there's some sort of fucking rock or something, and then they just they, they'll attack you. They're kind of assholes. Um is what we learn, um. But but guess what? We're on team kraken guys, and you want, you want to know why because they be eating green crabs, bro.
Speaker 1:They eat the green crabs, guys.
Speaker 2:Oh we're team.
Speaker 3:Kraken now.
Speaker 4:But Team Kraken.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just based on that. Based on that, we're on Team Kraken, so these things kind of suck now, though, so they aren't very Apex anymore. All right, both Shrimp Guy and Kraken, they were Apex, no longer Apex, now they're A-Sucks, am I?
Speaker 1:right, they lost their apexity so because they suck so much ass, we now eat the fuck out of them and apparently they're now considered a thai delicacy. And the video gets a little weird. And then we see the words human greed flash on the screen and then they're like alright, guys, like we got, like I know they're really tasty and shit and they kind of suck and they don't really do much. So let's just like chill out, let's be cool for a minute, let's not eat all of them. And then we're told to pray for these two guys because they just be getting straight ate the fuck out of and yeah, and then at the very end of the video there's the weirdest looking fish thing that I've ever seen in my life, which I think was just above the screen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like I don't even know, but that's it. That's all this video is and that's the end of season two or one, sorry.
Speaker 3:Hot damn. So let me get this straight. Season one ends by revealing to us that some of the big, bad prehistoric creatures that come out of the blue hole are shitty they just suck, they're just bad. That is the gist of this, of this video.
Speaker 4:Yep, we just eat them okay season one ends on shrimp. Shrimp are edible, okay holy fuck. I like how season one ends, with us still kind of on top. We're like you're an apex predator.
Speaker 3:We got more food now yeah, we'll fucking eat you dude. All the food that you guys are eating, I guess, are being replaced by you, fucking useless fuckers you ate my tuna.
Speaker 4:Now you're my tuna leveling out a bit right the ecosystem.
Speaker 1:And then they're like well, there's this other big ass guy that's eating the guy that's kind of ruining the ecosystem, and we're eating that so like. And now there's two new delicacies in the ocean that we're eating a lot of, even though they're like hey, don't go in the fucking ocean, you know, you don't actually.
Speaker 3:We're actually, we're just better off honestly like this is a. This is great.
Speaker 1:We love this they're giant krakens like y'all can eat for days.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, absolutely that's the end of season one. Now season two has two videos, and the last one actually came out like two days ago or something Five days ago.
Speaker 3:Five days ago Pretty fresh. Hell, yeah, I can. We're not there yet.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so we can start it a little bit and go from there.
Speaker 3:If you want, I can go over the Beast of the Earth, vidya.
Speaker 4:Go for it, make sure you say the part, the very last thing I said TLDR.
Speaker 2:Yeah, can you just like sum it up?
Speaker 3:Oh, 100%. So this is. It's a 22 minute video and I literally I only have like 10 bullet points, 11 if you include where I very clearly fell asleep on my keyboard. It's called Beast of the Earth. It's about 22, 23 minutes long and it's all about something named Eden Squad and you get it through the eyes of one of the individuals that is making their way through a snow-covered forest and they're following something or someone at night. They're talking with somebody on the radio and they hear they give them instructions saying like whatever they're following could be dangerous. And they give them instructions saying whatever they're following could be dangerous. All of a sudden you hear a roar slash, scream or something, and you hear orders given over the radio to meet at the rendezvous point and then a big red-eyed dinosaur eats the remaining one member of the Eden Squad assuming that it also ate the rest of Eden Squad Then cuts over to AZUN News and says that GPAC or the Global Prehistoric Affairs Commission.
Speaker 2:Ah, you thought it was going to be different. It's not.
Speaker 3:Funded a dinosaur response unit to deal with the land dinos, and more people are being trained to fight dinos every day. They'll keep you safe, someone promises.
Speaker 4:Someone. Yes, they'll keep you safe my neighbors.
Speaker 3:This is actually where we bring back up the Dubba. The T-Rex named the Dubba is wreaking havoc. It's appeared to evolve over time based on every experience. It has it like, adapts and evolves to whatever it needs. Got a knife, but then it's killed by g-pack, so there's no. Can't really study it too much. This one's got gun arms. What happened?
Speaker 1:he evolved a gun where his eyes are what the?
Speaker 3:fuck. It. Then revisits the Quetzalcoatlus, which is a, again, a large pterodactyl. It's way, way, way bigger than a regular one and despite nearly killing 20,000 of these things, the population still exceeds about 530,000. Are we eating them? I don't know. It didn't say.
Speaker 4:Probably should KFC KFQ Tucky Fried.
Speaker 3:Quetzalcoatl. After they say this about the $530,000, we get a cut. And it's not a cut, but someone basically like hauses the news report over to someone else by saying now we're going over to Corbin Brenner, over to you, corbin, in Buffalo, new York, and literally this guy goes. I need to sit in this moment for a second.
Speaker 4:He literally goes and now to purr happily in Pawnee Indiana now to Ollie, the horrific slaughter of our species how's it going, ollie?
Speaker 3:who randomly cuts to a person, hoping they have something to say and like not knowing what you got for us, corbin nothing. And then all of a sudden he goes, wait a minute, and then we hear this horrible screaming and it just cuts. After this is done, we get a report screaming and it just cuts.
Speaker 4:After this is done, we get a report saying that Oopie Jr has escaped the zoo.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank God he didn't die of TB and has taken back everything I've ever said about analog horror. If that was just like Oopie Jr died of TB and then it just moved on.
Speaker 3:I take back.
Speaker 2:Everything I've ever said.
Speaker 3:Bring closure to that. No, oompi Jr escapes and apparently Makes all the zookeepers that were working at that Zoo very, very ill With something they don't know. What, though? Tb? It's like super TB, I think, or Lou Gehrig's other disease, I don't know.
Speaker 4:Or Oompi Jr Jr Is there After they talk?
Speaker 3:or Oompi Jr Jr. After they talk about Oompi Jr for a little bit and talk about how his maybe possibly super TB has killed a bunch of people, they start talking about France and they go France, you've been invaded by Meganeura, which is a giant dragonfly that ate all of your frog spiders and dragonflies, allowing pests to run wild, devastating your crops and people.
Speaker 3:To deal with this, gpac is using pesticides that may cause significant harm to anybody who comes into contact with them, and they're using them en masse. So great Good. Thank you so much for that. We see another. There's another cut. We see this lady who is trying to apparently try to get her cat back inside and she calls to Lola over and over and over again, and a fucking saber tooth tiger walks to the door. There's a bunch of screaming and horrendous noises. Um, after this, we learn all about the smile Don, which is this giant cat saber tooth cat and it hunts specifically Brazilians.
Speaker 3:After we learn this, and we learn it's fucking racist as shit, but all the Brazilians are disappearing because these cats are eating them all. Why? Sorry, sorry. And then the very last thing we hear from this 22-fucking-minute behemoth of a video. We get a big pep talk that goes on for five minutes and it says the same thing over and over in different words, and all it says is we will adapt and stay safe.
Speaker 2:Dog this gate that's keeping this T-Rex in is not doing shit.
Speaker 4:Unless, you're Brazilian.
Speaker 1:And can a T-Rex jump?
Speaker 2:I hope not Take that shit over. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:He could literally just fling himself over just uh, but yeah, that's.
Speaker 3:That's the end of my video.
Speaker 1:I got nothing else to say about that all right well it was a very chaotic video I have video too, and it's very short. I can sum it up in less than a minute probably. Uh, this is called dire and it's the video from five days ago. So we get a point of view of someone calling their mom on the phone while they're driving. The mom's kind of freaking out. They're like fucking, ben is missing, jason, I need you to go find him. And Jason's like fuck ma, like that's 30 minutes away, you bitch.
Speaker 3:Fuck ma.
Speaker 1:And then she's like, come on. And he's like, all right, come on, he better be dead or hurt if I'm going to go look for him.
Speaker 3:Ma, this dinosaur Of all times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so he calls Ben and he's like doesn't pick up what are you going to say?
Speaker 3:I was going to say there's a magical leo pluridon outside.
Speaker 1:I can't call him now, oh, absolutely um, so yeah, he calls ben doesn't pick up his phone. Why would he? He's fucking missing. Um, we cut to a different view of jason in the park and it looks like he's like calling out for ben, he's like walking this path, and then you see or you hear him call you weren't allowed near a park, not the one at your house now yeah, he's not.
Speaker 1:Um, he calls ben and you can hear his phone ringing like he's walking over like a bridge, and you can hear his phone ringing down by this riverbank and of course he treks over to the riverbank and what do we fucking find? We find Ben's arm, just his arm. And then he starts crying like a little bitch ass and starts yelling. He knows there's his arm right. Clearly it's his arm, cause it's right next to his phone.
Speaker 2:So well, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:But so, yeah, he's like his arm is there and he's just like yelling Ben's name for like another minute and I'm like, bro, just stop um. And then you hear a loud howl like this is like some, like werewolf howl, ben. Then jason starts clapping cheeks away from the area I'm talking just like booking it and then he runs right into what I can only assume is a dire wolf uh, based on the title of the video. And then you just hear this thing fucking eating Jason's whole ass out, like you just hear something uh, uh. Yet somehow, after getting eaten the fuck out, this man is still filming and it's like, bro, you're like dead, like you're dying. Why, like put the video camera down, brother? The gray's got nothing, that's all it is.
Speaker 3:I need you to stop talking about eating Jason out. I really it's not a something I want to succumb to.
Speaker 4:It's a furry's dream a big ol' wolf eating.
Speaker 1:Jason, I ate my butt, oh no oh yeah, that's all that video is, so it looks like it feels like, potentially, they're moving away from the like news analog version of this story and their season two is going to become a found footage on fiction, whatever you want to call it. Yep, um, I hope they continue that route, even though, clearly, we really really like this story.
Speaker 3:I don't know why you're saying it like you're being sarcastic there's no sarcasm in that review time alright, yeah, let's review it.
Speaker 4:What do we think, boys?
Speaker 2:It's not the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the worst thing I've ever seen in my life brought the direct downfall to the nation of Yugoslavia. Communism, no glass ass, oh what, oh by God, we have to cover that Cool. That's my next weird thing I found on Reddit. We have to cover that Cool. That's my next weird thing I found on Reddit.
Speaker 2:Let's just talk about that now instead.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I, here's the thing. It's not that this is bad, but I also don't understand how it has so many views.
Speaker 1:Like it just doesn't feel like it was thought out. The concept is fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the season two stuff is a lot better than the season one stuff.
Speaker 3:Yes, the most recent video is not terrible.
Speaker 2:If it had just been that, I'd have been like I want to see what happened.
Speaker 1:I think you're right, though, matt. I think if they would have done that in the first season a little bit more, where, instead of it feeling like a nature documentary, they had a little bit of people coming in contact with these things, like with the woman and the saber-toothed tiger or whatever, that shit I'm all about. You know what I'm saying? Give me that. Let me see that shit give me that.
Speaker 2:Let me see that shit. Yeah, like the first two videos, the second one especially, it just seems like they were trying to figure out what they could do with ai, because it's on all the videos in the second video video, or ai. The third one is more like 3d stuff yeah, a lot of them.
Speaker 4:Like nature documentaries yeah, they take a lot of the. They credit, uh where they get all the footage from in every description. A lot of it's from like old um walking with dinosaurs and uh, like apple tv has their new walking with dinosaurs show, they took a bunch of footage from there I think they got a lot of flack for using ai in the second one.
Speaker 2:So they were like all right, we're gonna cut this down a little bit in the third one, and so they went a different direction yeah, well, at Well, at least they listened For the best, I mean, if that's the case.
Speaker 3:And now that you say that each like progressive episode or progressive video does seem like it changes and tweaks, just like a little bit.
Speaker 4:I'm glad that it's short.
Speaker 2:I don't mean that the best thing about this is it doesn't take much.
Speaker 4:No, not to sound like an ass, but it doesn't take much. Not to sound like an ass, but I hate an analog horror where it's like 75 videos of nothing. This gets right to it. It's like four episodes, bam, season one's done On to the next fucking thing. I'm here for that. Give me a short, little confined story. It's tight, it's a tight. Four videos, it's all I need. I think concept fun. I think it went about it in a weird way yeah, the concept's fine, I mean it's just.
Speaker 2:It's one of those things right where it's like somebody who probably hasn't made a lot of stuff starts working on stuff and then figuring out what they can do and that's, it's just that's awesome yeah, I actually hope it gets better from here, because I mean a dinosaur, arg, or uh analog horror, I guess is pretty neat in theory. Yeah, the truth there is a really good analog horror. Tropes are just so heavy in the first few episodes.
Speaker 3:Oh, god the eas, I like. I saw that fucking frame and I go god people.
Speaker 2:I understand that you, like everybody, wants to make a thing because they're inspired by another thing, but how many of these do we need?
Speaker 1:If you're a snowman and you're listening to us right now, I challenge you to make a good analog horror and not use any single newscast type of trope. Don't give me one. I don't want to see what the weather is and fucking butt fuck man I'd be happy with like 50, 50, like 50% something else.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Give me even less. Give me like 25. I'll take 25%, like I'll. I'll take a. Give me a 60, 40.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, I'll take 25% Like.
Speaker 1:I'll. I'll take a, give me a 60, 40.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, I, uh, I'm with you, it's, it's just. This is definitely seems like it's probably just some guys like first attempt at something. At least that's the vibe I got, which is good for you, cause I can't make shit, so good on you.
Speaker 4:But it's just very weird that it it's just very weird how popular it is. Like each one of these has like 200, almost 200,000 views each, and it's like this right not to sound mean, but we've covered a lot of shit prior to this that like it's really interesting how things things get found like yeah some people obviously just get lucky, like fucking, what's it that we just covered that I can't remember the name of now?
Speaker 1:me neither.
Speaker 2:Oh, the one we really like Midwest Angelica there are videos in that series that have fewer views than some of these videos, and that's like criminal yeah.
Speaker 3:I agree. So do we think this is real or fake?
Speaker 4:it's real, okay, it's very real yeah, maybe I doubt we'll come back to this, but we'll see how it goes. Maybe you'll see a part two one of these days yeah, maybe it's gone somewhere.
Speaker 2:Super cool, like I said, the last two videos, the most recent video especially is cooler. It's the pleat. Okay, I, I will plead for this. I'll excuse the the news broadcast. I gotta get one real good complaining you know me I can't, I can't not be an asshole about this. I can excuse the news broadcast format. Please stop making news broadcast formats or like found footage formats, where everything goes glitchy and then it shows you something you're not supposed to see for no reason. If you're gonna use that as a mechanic, have a reason don't just be like.
Speaker 2:We made this news broadcast. Oops, we accidentally animated this graphic death and also put it in the final cut like what?
Speaker 4:and then glitched it out a little bit. Do you not have any QA?
Speaker 2:yeah, stop doing that. It's just a pet peeve at this point, and if it does, happen.
Speaker 3:Come up with the reason. Be like hey, like we fucking, we finished this, we finalized, we rendered it. None of this shit was here. Like what the fuck right? If there's like an in universe reason, if it does happen, come up with a reason. Be like hey, we finished this, we finalized, we rendered it, none of this shit was here. What?
Speaker 2:the fuck happened, right? If there's an in-universe reason for it, that's fine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, don't do it just because Build your world you have to make sure your world has the ability to answer questions of anyone who's watching or interacting with it at all.
Speaker 4:You could could very easily be like oh, you know that, like you see the glitches in the next episode, they're like oh the uh, the local protest group that is protesting, uh uh, like us hunting the dinosaurs, or whatever, has hijacked the broadcast system, hurdy-durdy-durn or if you're like showing something on live news and something bad happens and you're like, oh shit, cut the cameras like that hang in there, baby.
Speaker 2:That's a trope in found footage movies and that's fine, I think.
Speaker 1:Not everything needs a glitch.
Speaker 3:You don't need the. You can say out loud that someone didn't like what was happening. So they shut the camera off. That's fine.
Speaker 4:The concept is weird. These holes just open up and you know dinosaurs are coming out. That's cool. But like they're adding in these glitches and like this reverse audio and things that are like alluding that, it's like this weird supernatural thing, but they don't ever there's yeah, I make a prediction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's like. There's like a. Yeah, well it is. There's like a we send a thing at the end of it too, and it's like yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 3:So in in universe, I'm pretty sure G pack caused this to happen and now, in order to control it, they are assuming responsibility and that'll come out in either season three or four, if they could get their kind of thing. That's kind of what I where I think this is going. Yeah Well, it's set up nicely for that, but we'll see.
Speaker 4:We've talked about it for an hour and ten minutes. I would like to say find us on all our social medias. We're DeloodyPod everywhere. Or don't look under the internet. Go to our YouTube page. That'd be cool too. Just don't look under the internet. You should do it. Send us an email DeloodyPod at g dot com. That's about all I got, and I must say If you come across a dinosaur, suck a stick, don't, don't.
Speaker 3:Just don't, just no, you're right, we had a whole episode about this. Yeah, how do I?
Speaker 4:do the, do the don't do the don't do the big old, don't don't Matt, what do you got?
Speaker 2:I don't know. Make, make things, don't worry about what people say. Our opinions don't matter, don't let it bother you.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we're a bunch of bums on the internet. I just hate it.
Speaker 2:It's not personal at this point at all. It's just all the same. But we will judge you based on a little. I appreciate that people are out there making content and putting it on the internet for like, no Like, not monetizing it really. Like this person monetizes this. There is a merch shop for this, but it's like I do appreciate that.
Speaker 1:There's like free content you can just go see on the internet and like they have a whole Discord Azon Studios or whatever, and they actually do have a couple other projects or a project that they did before this I didn't really deep dive into it or anything. So it seems like they have a fairly small community that I don't want to say small, but I don't know the size of their community, but they have a community that they're a part of and people seem to like that's cool man.
Speaker 4:I'm glad that people like things 's yeah, yeah, doug, do you have something?
Speaker 1:to say people, if you see dinosaur and your first thought is is this a time where I should slap my peen against this thing?
Speaker 3:don't. I like how you said no and then shook your head up and down like don't, don't, don't actually our video listeners and our audio listeners are gonna get two different messages there can I just go?
Speaker 2:subliminal messaging can I just go back and redo mine real quick? Yeah, own some dunks, that's all I got.
Speaker 3:Doing some fucking dunks.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to edit it, so it's like that's what I said.
Speaker 4:The first time. Who's out pooning their dunks? People, you guys going to the Dunkapoon convention.
Speaker 3:What do you got for us, jason? Stay paranoid. One of us might say the words Dunkapoon near you in the future, and nobody should be prepared for that. We're going to put that on a shirt.
Speaker 2:Dunkapoon sounds like a place you send a postcard from it really does.
Speaker 1:Greetings from.
Speaker 2:Dunkapoon.
Speaker 1:Pretty sick vocal stems this episode guys.
Speaker 2:I appreciate 50 miles outside.
Speaker 4:Billings. Remember everybody stay spooky, stay stupid, stay fucking stupid. Most important, remember everybody stay spooky, stay stupid, stay fucking stupid. Most important.
Speaker 3:Bye everybody, we love you kind of.
Speaker 2:Don't look under the internet.
