Don't Look Under the Internet
Don't Look Under the Internet
DLUTI 199 - Long Furbies and Hispanic Colonel Sanders ft. Aliens
This week: Jason finds some information about a van, Mike does an alien thing, Doug bugs out, and Matt needs to sleep.
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Speaker 1:Don't look under the really tall podcast a different way, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, hello. Welcome to. Don't Look Under the Really Tall Podcast. Hey everybody, fuck you. Welcome to Ashlogs, part 5.
Speaker 5:And I'm leaving.
Speaker 3:Welcome to Don't Look Under the Internet, an internet comedy horror podcast starring yours truly, doug, matt, jason and Mike.
Speaker 5:Hello everybody, you're not welcome here.
Speaker 2:Okay, comedy horror podcast starring yours truly doug, matt, jason and mike hello everybody, you're not welcome here.
Speaker 5:Okay, I guess this with each other for a hot minute, so we're getting it all out of the way.
Speaker 4:One has an episode of our night, so it's a it's bound to just be more unhinged this is episode two.
Speaker 3:one of us hasn't slept in two days and we all haven't seen each other in like three weeks, so it was bound to get a little freaky at one point of the night.
Speaker 5:I don't have pants on.
Speaker 2:Nice Too heavy yeah.
Speaker 3:So let's kind of jump into it. I don't have any shout outs or housekeeping because I mean, this is the second episode of the night, so let's kind of jump into it. Last time we went over some youtube channels. This time around we're looking at some weird reddit posts that we all found, found a good like five. I want to say one, two, three, four. Yeah, I found a five of them that I wanted to bring up and discuss. Um, something I found out. I don't know if you got. Boys had the same problem as me, doug, I think you did, uh, because we talked about it. But boys had the same problem as me, doug, I think you did, because we talked about it. But it's getting harder to find those discussion post ones like the like your. I'm finding post-it notes all over my house. I don't know where they came from.
Speaker 3:Yeah, or ones like that.
Speaker 2:I'm having a difficult time finding ones like that, but I did find some weird shit and they've all been talked about today.
Speaker 3:That's that, but I did find some weird ones, and they've all been talked about today. That's fair. I didn't find some weird shit, though, so we'll get into it. But um, who wants to start?
Speaker 5:oh, I don't, because I have one that has like a little bit of a story to it and it branches off in a couple directions I'll start okay no, go for it I was going to start in the opposite direction and just do one of my really quick ones.
Speaker 4:That, I think, is just one of the funniest things I found on Reddit while just having a hard time finding a topic. Hell yeah, so this is from nine years ago. Super simple thread. It's an Ask Reddit, which a lot of my shit is actually going to come from tonight, and the prompt was by a man named pre-op, pre-op trans centaur. Okay, but you can have his post. Their post was about you can have sex with one real person from all of human history who is your ultimate lay.
Speaker 3:I love this one.
Speaker 4:And the top comment is from someone that goes by Phil8248. And they said I'd like to have sex one more time with my wife, who passed away from cancer nine years ago. My body yearns for hers. The ultimate downside to finding the one is she may die young and leave you wanting. The top comments on this was just I also choose this guy's dead wife. I've seen this before. Oh my god, I fucking love this.
Speaker 2:I think I saw this when this was posted, you just pulled this one out of the back of my mind, holy shit.
Speaker 5:I think I remember running into this across running too.
Speaker 3:I came across this like two weeks ago and I'm glad it came up again.
Speaker 4:The comments on this are actually like fucking gold, like someone just goes holy fucking shit, my dude.
Speaker 2:My favorite thing about that comment is the guy that says holy fucking shit, my dude. This whole thread's from nine years ago. He posted the comment nine years ago and then next to it it says edited seven years ago so this guy came back to it two years later two years later this needs something else.
Speaker 5:Hold on.
Speaker 3:I also choose this guy's dead wife.
Speaker 5:I think. Here's what I think. Are you talking about, that being the edited comment, that I also choose this guy's dead wife?
Speaker 4:No, it's the one under it.
Speaker 5:Okay, so I took it as the I also choose this guy's dead wife. I thought the original was I choose this guy's dead wife, and then two years later he's like well, no, somebody else already picked it. I have to put the word also in here, so everyone knows that it's been picked twice. Yeah, what the fuck my guy.
Speaker 3:I also choose this guy's dead wife.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I was uh again. I was having a hard time finding stuff on reddit, for whatever reason, and I came across this post and I was like I fucking love this post. This guy just said, uh, what was the other one? He said my necro my necro. Oh good lord, that's my my icebreaker for this episode. You know what? I'm glad you went first. Same. Oh good lord, alright, that's my icebreaker for this episode, for everyone. You know what?
Speaker 5:I'm glad you went first. Same that shit was. Yeah, I remember running across that, Fucking hilarious.
Speaker 3:I'll start off with one from three years ago from User from the High Strangeness sub, which a couple of mine are going to come from there. It's from User678 990655. Guard welcomes invisible guests at 3am. Finitio, which a couple of mine are going to come from there. It's from user 678-990-655. Guard welcomes invisible guests at 3 am. Financio Sanctorium.
Speaker 5:Building Argentina 2022. These are your.
Speaker 3:I think these might be some of your favorite videos I have come across so fucking many of these videos.
Speaker 5:Dude, you just go to Slapped Ham's YouTube channel. There's fucking millions of them.
Speaker 3:Slapped Ham.
Speaker 5:okay, yeah, just check out S there's fucking millions of them.
Speaker 3:Slapped ham, okay yeah, check out. Slapped ham, oh yeah. But yeah, it's literally like a security guard. It's it's footage from a fucking like office or a building or something. There's a security guard, he just fucking hi to a person and opens up the little like tether gate and like walks them over and like has like a full blown conversation with the person, grabs a wheelchair and like it's like they sit in it and they go like wheel them away and everything. It's freaking, freaky. And I love these type of videos because I can't tell if they're fake or not, because they they move. The guy moves and acts and like he's actually talking to a person. That's very, very hard to fake. Like the motions you do when you're talking to a person right in front of you, compared to being like, oh, act like you're talking to a person. That's hard to do. It's not hard to edit someone out of it.
Speaker 4:What if the guy is yeah, has some sort of psychosis or something like himself. Like what if he's just like not on his like his drugs today and he's fucking?
Speaker 2:this guy's not even a security guard. It says uh, uh.
Speaker 5:Oh shit, first comment it says uh, something, sanatorium building.
Speaker 2:This guy may be oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:So it's a patient, maybe even. But one of the comments says what's really interesting is when he brings out the wheelchair for the quote unquote person to sit in, the chair actually jolts like someone sits down at it with him barely touching it. Hmm, hmm, fascinating. But there's a lot of these videos out there. I've seen a bunch of these. I think we talked about one on an episode a while ago.
Speaker 5:Yeah well, you've also talked about the time that you ran into your ghost in the movie theater.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, the police cop. He's walking a thin blue line between the veil, you know like, that's just how it is.
Speaker 4:Guys, it's spooky season time. We're real close to fucking October.
Speaker 5:We're halfway to October, I feel it creeping.
Speaker 4:You know what my next theory is.
Speaker 2:You know what my next theory is watching this video. He's sitting at the desk and the door opens by itself right, as if somebody's walking in. And I think he's just doing it for entertainment, because this is what he does every time. Somebody walks in, right and he's like, oh, somebody's walking in, he's like somebody's walking in. He's like, oh, never mind, there's nobody there, but just as a goof, he just goes through the motions anyway because he thought it would be fucking bored yeah doing a little god being a little gaffer.
Speaker 3:Yeah, maybe he was like oh, this is how I get famous, this is how I do it. I can hate the front page of reddit, okay, um, yeah, I just I, I liked that one. I thought it was a little fascinating.
Speaker 4:Epic ep yeah it's pretty good.
Speaker 5:I like those ones, those are fun.
Speaker 2:I got a shorty, I got a lot of shorties. I'm a shorty. What you got for me, I got a lot of shorties and a lot of shotties. So stop me, if you have, if we've talked about this one before, because we're getting to the point where we've talked about, so many subreddits that I have no idea what the fuck we've talked about anymore, but mine is long, furby's.
Speaker 5:I have a long Furby in the other room. I think I talked about this in conjunction with the Furby organ.
Speaker 2:This, so this is a subreddit dedicated to. Furby's, that are just really long, yeah, and that's why.
Speaker 4:And where did you get a long Furby? Yeah, why do you have a long Furby? I'll be back.
Speaker 2:Okay. I need Doug to explain to me if this is a thing.
Speaker 5:He's about to show us that it is yeah, I guess, here's just a Furby.
Speaker 2:That is Tina from Bob's Burgers.
Speaker 5:A Furby that is Tina.
Speaker 2:This is a Subway sandwich, furby what the fuck.
Speaker 3:He does have a long Furby. Oh my god, it's huge. What is it? What the fuck Doug Is this a thing?
Speaker 4:It's long Furby.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 3:Is this a?
Speaker 2:thing. Where'd you get that?
Speaker 3:Why do you own that? It's got baby heads all over it, I know.
Speaker 4:So I have to explain. It's not mine, it's Lissa's. I got it for her. On Etsy, somebody does a blind box. It's got bells on it. It's called a cursed. It was like a blind box long Furby, but it was like there was like different themes and I picked cursed, so I got her this it's so fucked up, jesus christ, okay, well, apparently this is the whole.
Speaker 2:Thing so somebody in the discord fucking says I know somebody that makes those. She puts plastic splines in them what? Apparently? This is the whole thing that I wasn't even aware of until earlier when I found this subreddit.
Speaker 3:They're putting effort into making them. It seems like I wonder if they're the Furbies with the electronics in them, like they still move their face and their eyes and everything.
Speaker 5:Jesus Christ, I just glanced over at the fucking stream. That is horrifying, holy shit.
Speaker 3:Doug, does the Furby do anything?
Speaker 5:No, it gives you nightmares. Yes, it does so many things.
Speaker 6:I mean it's cursed. It does other world weird things.
Speaker 2:Are long Furbies. Apparently they have fetus. Friday.
Speaker 5:Oh, there you go. That's good. If you like that, you should check out the guy that made a Homemade Furby organ or Furby piano and it works. It sounds. This is the musical instrument of hell, like 100%. There is no other instrument that can be substituted. It's super fucked. But, yeah, everybody wants to fuck with them. What do you got? J J-Bones? I have something much less hilarious, j-dog. Much less hilarious it is.
Speaker 5:Honestly mine was a weird series of events on Reddit for me, so it's one story, but I found it across three separate Reddit posts that were unrelated. Hmm, so the first one, the first one I had, is was it was just a simple post and I think it was from I don't have it saved, I think it was from just like the like the New South Wales in Australia, like the community subreddit or something. Like the new south wales in australia, like the community subreddit or something, and it basically warned people that hey, there's this guy in a, in a van or a car or something like that that is sitting out in places at night and he's, he's got. He takes his like, he takes the tire off and he takes his jacket and he waits there for a car to come by, flags him down and says like hey, my jack's not working. Like I need help, like can you help me? As soon as they get out of the car, the guy fucking kills him. Oh, so it was, it was a serial killer. That was that they did not, it couldn't identify, yet they could, they hadn't caught.
Speaker 5:It was at large um, and I was reading through this and I was basically reading through some of like australia's serial killers. So I read this story. I'm like, okay, that's not really a like australia has a serial killer, is not really a reddit story that I'd want to bring to this this type of episode. So I keep, I'm keeping looking, I'm continuing to look and then I find another post not in new south wales, this is just on r slash, ask reddit. And this is what it says. It says kind of creepy at the time but scary afterwards. Long time ago, driving from boral to barima in new south wales state in australia, my wife and I were flagged down by a guy asking to borrow a car jack, because his van which he said was his sister's uh-oh, and yes, it was white had a flat before.
Speaker 5:Jack didn't work. Guy was creepy and we just said, nah, mate, mate, and took off. A little while later we saw the photo of the serial killer, ivan Milat, who had been caught by them. Pretty sure it was that guy and the van was an exact match or an aura. So now I get a fucking firsthand account from these random redditors on a completely separate subreddit that just say that we actually had interactions with this fucking Australian serial killer. Now it's around this little story out the very. The last post was more of. It's an article and it's.
Speaker 5:I had to go to the wayback machine to find this because a lot of places the actual text is no longer there. Um, it's back from like 2011, I think, and it is titled ivan milat on hunger strike over playstation. Okay, um, so apparently he was so angry, like, so he got, he got caught, heuted, he got put in prison. Much later, he refused food, he would not eat and apparently he dropped 25 kilograms. I don't know what that is in pounds. 25 kilos is like. I can't do that math. Yeah, do the math for me. What's 25 kilos in pounds? 55 pounds, cool, 55 fucking pounds. That is a lot. That's too much. All because he just wanted a PlayStation, playstation 1. Oh, I get it. Then I know you get it. He was 66 years old and his weight dropped from 85 kilos to 60 kilos before he gave up his hunger strike the warden. Literally he had an interview and apparently he couldn't stop laughing about this, basically saying, like, yeah, there's not a single inmate in this prison that has anything like a game console. I want to play Tony Hawk Pro Skater anything like a game console. Like, I want to play Tony Hawk pro skater. Um, apparently in previously in 2009,.
Speaker 5:Uh, milat cut off a finger and mailed it to the high court of Australia. Um, and in that he, yeah, he's apparently cutting off fingers was was a thing for him, and he cut off his finger, like at the beginning of this, like I want a playstation. Cut one finger off, mailed it to the high court of australia, and then he stopped because apparently that's when he realized that he needs his hands to use the playstation. So he's like, hmm, time to go to toes. What else can I do here? Um, and yeah, it's. That's honestly that, like towards the end of the story, I just thought the coincidence of finding fucking three separate related stories about this one. Ivan man on this about first finding, just like a random post about a serial killer that just turned to be up to be like man. This is not that interesting. They're finding a real redditor who had a real encounter with this serial killer at night in Australia to then kind of looking into this man's psyche. Who will cut his fingers off for PlayStation?
Speaker 3:I don't get to play Spyro the fucking dragon, spyro the dragon, I will chop off my thumb and I will eat it, and then eat it. Yes.
Speaker 5:Like this potato chip. Yeah, interesting is that was I literally I fuck it. I was high as piss as I was falling down this rabbit hole and I was just absolutely full what ivan's up to. I was like, how the fuck, how are all these posts finding me? I think at one point I was convinced that, like he knew, I was searching for him, right he?
Speaker 3:he went on a hunger strike until he could get all your cell phone data.
Speaker 2:Until he could be a member of Deluty.
Speaker 3:That's a shitty hunger strike. Did he have a serial killer name?
Speaker 5:Like the carjack killer or something If he did?
Speaker 4:I don't think Ivan the van man.
Speaker 5:Ivan the van man.
Speaker 4:Ivan van man.
Speaker 3:Ivan, no, no, you human that van Ivan van Ivan. No, no, you human, that van Ivan yeah, ivan van van. Ivan van van Doug, you got another one for us.
Speaker 4:I do okay, so I have two from the same post. Actually, do you want weird and more discussional, or do you want just gross and silly? Gross and silly. You want more silly, I want discussional.
Speaker 3:I want discussional.
Speaker 4:I mean we're going to get to all of them.
Speaker 5:Discussional.
Speaker 2:Discussional.
Speaker 5:Let's do a discussion. Okay, all right.
Speaker 4:So this one is from another Ask Reddit and this is a question from someone named OhGoshWhereToBegin and they said throwaway time what's your secret? That could literally ruin your life if it came out. And they said throwaway time what's your secret? That could literally ruin your life if it came out? And they said I decided to post this partially because I'm interested in reaction to this Blah, blah, blah. They're just trying to get people to you know, tell their darkest, deepest secrets.
Speaker 4:So this one is from a throwaway account and it said two and a half. So this is actually. This is from 13 throwaway account, and it said two and a half. So this is actually. This is from 13 years ago. But it said two and a half years ago I was in dire financial straits so I sold my home to keep my struggling business afloat. I neglected to tell the owners that they have an 800 square foot bunker on the property that I built about seven years ago, the bunker that I've called home since I sold it. The entrance to it is well hidden, but I still come and go very, uh, very late in the day. I'm a single man who keeps to himself and I'm now in a situation where I could move somewhere else, but I love this hidden paradise so much.
Speaker 4:So basically, this man is living on his old property in a bunker that the new property owners don't even know about. Um, and I mean, the comments are pretty pretty much like show us the bunker. We want to see the bunker. But unfortunately the fucking person who posted it did not respond to anyone. Um, but yeah, I just thought. I thought that was kind of fucking crazy.
Speaker 5:I was like damn that is like when people find their ways into other people's attics and like when everyone goes to bed. They come out at night and I know that happens because Kelly has a family member and somebody else that she knows. It happened to both of them where somebody was living in their attic. This is like the fucking. This is like the doomsday version of that. So I want to sell my land, but I'm still going to live on my land, Is there?
Speaker 3:any evidence that this is real, because I can be like, yeah, I'm living on someone else's house right now. I don't have to prove it if no one's asking for proof.
Speaker 4:I don't think they wanted to post about it. Okay. So one person said can you post a pic of the bunker? I just want to see what it looks like on the inside. And someone goes nice, try new homeowners.
Speaker 5:I wonder if there's a homeowner out there that just has like a. They can't prove it, but they have a sneaking suspicion that someone's living under their backyard yeah, there's.
Speaker 4:There's like I'm not even kidding there's thousands of comments under this one post and it's everybody saying kind of the same shit. Like people are being like, uh, this is fucking awesome, like imagine if, like, uh, the end of the world happens and you just pop up one day and you're like hey, guys, you can come in here get inside.
Speaker 3:Who the fuck are you, the old homeowner?
Speaker 4:uh, one of the posts or one of the comments is from someone and they just go this is so fucking creepy and they got just super fucking downvoted. And then, uh, someone was like I love how you get downvoted while a guy living underneath a family's house in secret is being praised.
Speaker 5:As long as he's not putting cameras in their house and shit, they're not interacting. I don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and also also also technically, depending on where you live, you don't own the land underneath you, don't? So he might not be breaking any laws if we're being technical, technically.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess now I'm having an internal battle with myself. If I found out that a person was living underneath my house in a bunker, but like they weren't coming up and creeping on me or listening to me or anything would I really care?
Speaker 5:Oh, I'd drill a tube right Like and I'd put like a Like a, like a male like a male. Like I cut out just for my ass and I would constantly fart in through that hole just all the fucking time but, what if it's a fart, this is a cool dude, it's a chill guy that smells like farts.
Speaker 4:I would just be like, hey, now if nuclear war breaks out, just let me into the bunker. That's all I ask. Just let me.
Speaker 5:I'll drop four cans of food down the hole every day and monthly. I will give you a can of beans, your monthly bean right, beans and wieners every single day someone else said he wrote this on their Wi-Fi he totally did too. Oh my god, that's funny someone searches his ip, they're like hey, that's my ip, yeah wait what the login is coming from inside the house.
Speaker 3:Um, that's interesting, to say the least.
Speaker 4:Um yeah, it was pretty, pretty silly. I thought it was interesting. For sure I have.
Speaker 3:I'm going to do these two back to back because they're pretty short. So this one is from r slash damn, that's interesting from Flavius Marcesius or something like that. I don't know how to say it, but there you go. Tesla collision avoidance. Detecting invisible man at cemetery. Have you guys seen these? Videos. I know.
Speaker 5:Dude, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:I know I just went down a ghost hole, but yeah, it's this dude parked at a cemetery and he's showing his Tesla and it's showing a person like the figure walking up. Let me.
Speaker 5:Okay, let's go back. It is not showing a person, it is showing the animation on the console that the sensors in the car are actually something that they think is a person yes, in a cemetery coincidence, oh, but it's moving around it's like walking around
Speaker 4:yeah, it's walking around. You think it's having okay. So the people listening. When you're looking at the video you can see the Tesla screen, but when they look up over the screen they're showing a cemetery plot.
Speaker 2:Empty-ass cemetery.
Speaker 4:And it's just a lot of flowers. There's a lot of flowers which makes me have to assume that it's sensing flowers and not knowing, and the movement of them which makes me have to assume that it's sensing flowers and not knowing and like the movement of them because of the wind. Either that or it's just like picking up different ones all the time.
Speaker 3:These cameras are very sophisticated. They know the difference between, like stop signs and people.
Speaker 5:I don't think flowers are throwing off.
Speaker 4:Stop signs don't move. And Zach Bagans in here. He knows the tech, he does. Are they using a Kinect? He knows the tech he does. Are they using a connect?
Speaker 3:just tape to the side. I don't know, dude, like these things are super sophisticated like they can recognize a car is a car, not a person, I mean it's very brightly lit.
Speaker 2:So like I have some experience in this, because this is basically my senior project in college was to like detect shit with our cameras like this, and it would have to be very, very wrong to think these flowers are a person like you'd have to, you'd have to fuck up training the model to make it well then, so how does it determine a person to like, uh, like, let's say like a tombstone, for example, like, how does it differentiate that?
Speaker 4:like? What's the? Yeah, you, essentially the science behind that.
Speaker 2:You essentially just feed it a bunch of images and videos of what you want and then, it groups things together. So like, if you want it to be able to detect people, you show it a bunch of images of people and then a bunch of images of other things that aren't people, and then you go through and be like this is a person, this is a person, this is not a person.
Speaker 3:You train it like a toddler.
Speaker 2:Basically. Yeah, it's a neural net processor a learning computer. It's basically like the computer's a toddler and you're holding up. What color is this? Green? It's basically that, but computer.
Speaker 3:Hmm, so what do you think? If you're, if you're?
Speaker 2:if you're four year old, if you hold up a picture of one of these flowers. You're a four year old and you're like what is this? And they're like person You're gonna be like. You're a fucking idiot. You're hopeless they and they're like so what a ghost is.
Speaker 3:So, Matt, you have, you have the most reference point here. What do you think could be going on Like? Do you think this could be a malfunction with it? Do you think what, what, what could be possibly happening?
Speaker 2:The most likely thing, I think that's going on here, aside from like I suppose it's possible that it is malfunctioning and picking up those flowers, but what I think is more likely is that maybe there's like something over the sensor, like a bug or something, yeah, that you can't see in this video that it's actually picking up instead Gotcha.
Speaker 3:I wonder too if it's. I mean, this might be looking too much into it, it. But another part of me wonders if this is faked, like he's just got like a thumb drive plugged in or something that has like a custom made video because if you look at the map there, he's also moving. Oh yeah, it does show him going one mile per hour.
Speaker 5:He is moving.
Speaker 3:Yeah, actually, yeah. The video shows him going one mile per hour it starts at zero, but he let.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, he moves, he moves a little yeah you see him move, you see him moving it could also be never mind not necessarily that the camera's picking something up, but the more it's a malfunction with the display itself and it's showing this yeah, when it shouldn't be showing like it. It's like like the person thing when it's not supposed to.
Speaker 3:Gotcha. I don't know man Coincidence, it's happening in a cemetery, probably. I just think it's neat.
Speaker 5:I wonder if, like the breakdown, like the, the release of the chemicals from like human bodies as they decompose, I wonder if those released into the soil, and therefore technically the air, would have anything to do with that. I don't know, that's a fucking long shot.
Speaker 2:I'm saying Tesla is putting dead body juice sensors in there.
Speaker 5:No, I'm wondering if the cameras can pick up something that we can't see with our eyes, and it has something to do with the decomposition of, like organic matter.
Speaker 3:It can see ghosts? I don't think so, but I'm not. I'm not the long shot, I'm just spitballing here, okay. I've never heard of that before, but yeah, I also know nothing on this subject.
Speaker 5:It's from Venus.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Get Elon on the phone Elon Elon.
Speaker 3:Why are you in the cemetery? Are you done destroying our democracy, Elon?
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, no, he's from the American Party now. Oh, that's right, you're right, but we're not.
Speaker 3:Don't look into the politics, he just gave $250 million to Trump and was like I love this guy, only to turn around and be like I can't believe what he's doing. Oh my God.
Speaker 5:Yes, because you have another, I do have another.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I was still looking at the Tesla video. I think it might be picking up the flowers, I don't know.
Speaker 3:Anyway, it's not that important. Matt's like. I take it on that. I love that we never the discussion.
Speaker 5:We had a discussion about it, but no clear. Yeah, no clear at all.
Speaker 2:I was even like I'm an expert on this. I have something I have no idea. I don't have a fucking clue.
Speaker 3:I do like the idea that you just went down a rabbit hole as the leading expert here at the loony it could be X Y Z problem, as the leading expert who has, and you went the leading expert who has, and you went. I don't know you went down for like five minutes like well, you gotta fuck up pretty bad and this is how they're tested, this is how they're trained. And then seven minutes later you're like could be the flower, yeah because, like, it's popping up over where the flowers are like.
Speaker 2:Doug was saying, maybe they just fucked it up real bad. I mean, that's a distinct possibility. It is Tesla, after all.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 5:Their cyber trucks suck balls. They're so terrible.
Speaker 2:Do we want to play real or fake with some stories or do we just want to do another weird subreddit? Dealer's choice. Let's do a real or fakey.
Speaker 4:Let's do a real fake, real big faking.
Speaker 2:So I found a thread that's just called what is your most disturbing, scary stories. It's real old, from 11 years ago, and I just picked out a few stories that I liked, so I'll read the first one Woke up. Clock says 3.34 am. I'm 17 and I'm in my bedroom. It's pitch black, but I hear some rattling downstairs. Terrified, I quietly tiptoe to my parents' room. Weird, it's empty. Where are my parents at 3.34 am?
Speaker 2:Go upstairs to my brother's room. He's usually awake all night, but while the light is on, no one is in the room. So I guess, whatever those noises are downstairs, it must be them. Why no one is in the room? So I guess whatever those noises are downstairs, it must be them. Why are they awake? Maybe someone died? I go downstairs.
Speaker 2:In the middle of my living room is what looks like two men stealing our TV. No one else is in sight. I run upstairs as quietly as possible, shut and lock my door. Suddenly there's a banging on the door. I wake up. It was a dream and the relief washes over me. I look over at the clock Weird coincidence, it's 3.34 am. I'm shaking but decide to go downstairs to prove to myself that everyone and everything is fine. I go downstairs. The two men are in my kitchen screaming at my parents and brother. I run upstairs to my bedroom and lock the door. Ten seconds later I hear banging. I wake up. It's 3.34 am. This time I had actually woken up and I didn't manage to fall back asleep for another 36 hours.
Speaker 3:Hmm, you know I'm gonna say real, I've had that happen where I wake up from a dream. I also have had this. Yeah, I've had it happen where I wake up from a dream in a dream. That's happened once or twice before, but at the same time Like dream wake up and then you wake up again.
Speaker 2:Then you grab a brush and put on a little makeup.
Speaker 5:Yeah, hide the scars to fade away the cheek.
Speaker 2:But the connecting thing here is that it's 3.34am every time. So it's 3.34am in the first dream, then it's 334 in the second dream I've had recurring dreams, that's plausible that's plausible.
Speaker 5:Yeah, then he wakes up for real and it's 334 am well, it's like the what's like if you're having a dream and it sets up this whole thing in your head to where like you're planting a bunch of like dynamite in a mine and like you're about to like blow it up and you're like you're wearing a cowboy hat and like it's. It's like fucking wild West times and as soon as you push the plunger down, lightning outside for real Wakes you up. How did your brain know that the lightning was about to happen? What this is the same type of thing you don't know, it's 334 I.
Speaker 5:I get what you're saying, jason I.
Speaker 4:I've had that happen where I've woken up to some sort of noise in my dream.
Speaker 3:I hear what you say, jason I'm listening, doug, I promise it's those frozen margs bro I, I I
Speaker 4:hear, I hear, I hear what you're saying, bro. Um, no, I I get what you're saying, though. Like no, I get what you're saying, though Like I've woken up from a dream where, like a noise has woken me up, but it's for sure a noise I heard, like IRL.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't think it's too out of the realm of possibility, depending how shitty your sleep schedule is or how like to a T you are Like. For example, I like I set my alarm for like like eight 15 every morning, but I regularly wake up at about seven o'clock every single morning. I, I and my alarm doesn't wake me up. Nothing wakes me up. I'm just awake because my body wants to wake me up at that time. So if you're, if you go to bed with the idea of like great, can't wait to be up at fucking seven o'clock in the morning, if that happens to you regularly, that could seep into your dreams where it's like okay, something's happening at 7 o'clock.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, this guy just wakes up at 3.34 regularly. Might be a thing, Maybe. Either. P. So something that's happened to me is my new house is right next to some railroad tracks and usually it doesn't bother me, but usually a train comes through at like 3-ish in the morning and now, because it usually wakes me up it doesn't always, but now, since it usually wakes me up if I'm sleeping somewhere else, even if I'm not sleeping in my house, I wake up at 3 o'clock, yep, because you know.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it's because you've reset your fucking circadian rhythm.
Speaker 3:Yeah, your Gregorian calendar.
Speaker 5:You know your Gregory calendar, your Gregory calendar?
Speaker 3:I don't know. I like to think it's real Because there's 8 billion people in the world. Odds are that shit has happened at least one time to one person. You know what I mean. It's not out of the realm of possibility. It's not like he woke up at 3.34 in real life to people robbingbing him. You know what I mean and that actually happened. He just woke up and it was a coincidental time. I feel like that's bound to happen eventually. Yeah, the amount of times we I mean you're asleep for eight hours a night, you know, on average you get you dream throughout the night and you get different dreams all the time. Your entire life you're dreaming.
Speaker 5:Odds are it's going to happen once, you know, once in your entire life to somebody yeah, and on top of to add to that, I've um, I read a lot about like the brain, the mind and like how it works the holy spirit. Yeah, you know the three, the trifecta um the triforce um but and one thing that I've been reading is a lot of neurologists and uh researchers have been finding that your brain actually operates in more dimensions than like we exist in. Stop.
Speaker 3:Don't we were. This is from that spiritual shit, don't you? But that's nice dimension in your brain, don't you dare.
Speaker 2:We can't go down this rabbit hole or this episode will never end.
Speaker 3:Okay, but tell me, and I'm curious.
Speaker 5:No, thank you. No, tell me, you can't do this to me. Yes, I can. You can't do this. Get out of my house, go fuck myself, go fuck yourself.
Speaker 3:Wait, what do?
Speaker 5:you mean by dimension, though that's the thing. There's no actual definition to it. However, there are things that happen in our brains that we can't explain, like how many people have literally described um in near-death situations, in like an operating suite. They'll describe things on top of cabinets of the or like, oh, like they're when the fuck, were you up there yeah?
Speaker 5:you weren't up there. So how would you know? A top-down view? And it's simply because you had an out-of-body experience doctor's Spornstache up there. Do I believe? Do I believe shit like that? No, because there's no evidence around it. However, there's a lot of coincidence when it comes to the stories that are told About that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of weird stories like that. I've been listening to a podcast lately Called we're Fucking Derailing oh yeah, wildly. A lot of people probably listen to, called Radio Rental. It's Dwight from the Office, what's his fucking name. He hosts this podcast when other people come on and tell their stories, but a lot of them are like that and they're eerily similar Weird.
Speaker 5:Anyway, it's the coincidence of it all. It reminds me of the Mandela effect. How there's this mass fucking delusion about stuff.
Speaker 3:Or how, when everyone like dies and they come back, I saw a white light in all my loved ones.
Speaker 5:Yeah, well, I mean, my theory on that is, you see that because your brain has never experienced death before, so it literally just rewinds through all of its experiences rapidly to try to find something similar. Is that what DMT is?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, anyway. God molecule we need to move on Right, we do.
Speaker 3:I'm saying real, what are you boys saying?
Speaker 2:I'll say real, that's fun.
Speaker 5:I'll say real Hot, damn Plausible. Fuck you Doug. Jason do you have any other ones? That was it, my serial killer, one was it.
Speaker 3:My lone depressing one. It's good though, I like that one it was just a fucking coincidence. Like you said, it was on three different areas too the Holy Triangle, the Triforce, the Father, the Van, the Carjack, the Carjack.
Speaker 6:At the PlayStation.
Speaker 3:Doug, do you have any other ones? Yeah, where are we at on time.
Speaker 4:Doug, do you have any other ones? Yeah, where are we at on time?
Speaker 3:I don't have like for this specific but total recording in two hours oh, okay, we got that, because I have one that's going to be.
Speaker 4:I have one that I think we'll probably talk a lot about, but I'm going to just throw another silly one in here. So this was another one I found on that that throw away time, what's a secret that could literally ruin your life? So this was another one from 13 years ago, as most of these are, I guess. So it says the person has now deleted their account, but it says my cousin died when we were both 17. There was a reception at his house and just after the funeral I went into his room and I stole all the money that was in there and I took some other valuables that his parents wouldn't realize were gone. No one knows that I did that and they just assumed he didn't have any money in his room, only some loose change. I don't regret it, but I will never admit I did this. Also my cum box.
Speaker 5:Also my cum box and so of course. Is there a?
Speaker 4:definition for that In true fashion, everyone and when I say everyone, I mean like hundreds of people are like. You have to elaborate on the cum box, please, like you can't just say and my, my cum box, and not tell us more about it.
Speaker 3:What does that mean?
Speaker 4:and my so they said well, it is exactly what it sounds like. It's a shoe box, or at least once was, and whenever I masturbate I come into it. I've had it for two or three years now and I think that it's. I think so it has a fair amount of cum. It smells atrocious and I tried to burn it once. When I lit it on fire, it was too damp due to the cum that it simply settled and didn't manage to light up. Turns out, burning cum also smells awful, so I had to spray it with deodorant body spray just to get the old smell of burnt cum away, oh God.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 5:Burnt cum and axe I cannot think of a worse candle.
Speaker 4:There's two updates to this comment. All right, it says, because people were asking. And then there's a post to a picture and that picture doesn't work anymore a Yankee candle there, it is hell. A lot of people are asking me why. Well, I'm apparently a rather disturbed individual, but it just kind of happened. I bought new shoes and needed someplace to come, so I used it just escalated from there and I kept using it, each time telling myself I would throw it out.
Speaker 4:So never have that problem, so he never, never threw it away. After two or three years they still have it. Um, and then they said edit three fuck this really exploded. 20 plus thousand views of my cum box. I did not expect this. And then edit four I often get PM'd about updates or current statuses of the box, and generally generally a few a week, so I might as well update this post, if anyone even gets linked here anymore current status I have. I've created life. Mold has begun to grow in the box and has taken over a fair amount. The smell is a bit worse, mainly due to a damper apartment I live in, so it does not dry as fast, hence the reason why the mold has begun. They then link a picture that you can actually click on.
Speaker 3:No, we're going there. We're going there.
Speaker 4:I will never be rid of my need for it. I hate and love this box, just as I hate and love myself. And then the comments just explode. There is just a lot. There's just a lot of pictures. Oh, they opened it okay. Yeah, um I'm looking at it too, and it's uh there's a lot happens here and the the comments are great, but the story itself is just why I could not yellow fill.
Speaker 5:Why are you asking questions?
Speaker 2:I think that's where you try to burn it, and that's the burnt paper, right oh yeah, he's.
Speaker 4:At one point it says there's like, there's like drenched paper stuck to it.
Speaker 5:So turns out I might throw up. Yeah, that's pretty gross.
Speaker 2:When you, when you actually told, told us that this is what you were reading, I had thought I had seen this one before, but I think I may have been confusing this one with come drawer, which is another.
Speaker 4:Oh, yes Are you talking about the piss drawer?
Speaker 2:No, I think that maybe I'm conflating all this in my head.
Speaker 4:I I'm conflating all this in my head. I know the piss drawer. I'm pretty sure it's a post about a guy whose mom found his piss drawer. Yeah, he pees in his drawer at night.
Speaker 5:That's right, he didn't want to get up to go to the bathroom. He just fucking opens his bottom drawer and pisses in it. My buddy.
Speaker 2:I found it. I found cum drawer. It's not as popular as cum box, so cum drawer it's not as popular as cum box, so cum drawer is what I'm thinking of. It's a post on RWTF 13 years ago by a user named Nero N-E-R-O-X-E-L-A. It just says found this in my roommate's drawer and it's a picture of I'll put it in the Discord. I'm not going to put the picture in a picture of. I'll put it in the discord. I'm not going to put the picture in the discord, but I'll put a link in the discord sorry everybody um remember to mail your eyes to youtube well, it shows the picture anyway, fuck it why?
Speaker 2:is it black? It's definitely. His roommate's been coming in the drawer, but the top comment is come drawer, light it on fire.
Speaker 4:That's not even like an enclosed drawer. That's just like he opens that thing and just fires directly into it while he's sitting at his desk.
Speaker 5:You might just leave it open. What the hell is that?
Speaker 2:It looks like he's just been sitting at his desk, just spooting right into it Just go to the toilet.
Speaker 3:It almost looks bloody.
Speaker 5:He has to leave his room for that.
Speaker 2:There's blood there, or just come on yourself and then do the waddle of shame to the bathroom and just wipe it all off Like a real man. Just pull your boxes up, fuck it, man.
Speaker 3:Like a real man. Like a real man.
Speaker 4:Air dry, dry, you know. That's all I have to say about the cum box. I don't really know if a cum zone a cum box. I don't know if there's much more to say here.
Speaker 5:We haven't been around each other in a hot minute because this is fucking off the rails. Doug, I don't know if there's much more to say. We have been around each other in a hot minute because this is fucking off the rail.
Speaker 3:Doug, I don't want to say you should have kept that one for last, but I saw you had another one that said oh don't, please don't think that that was like the worst thing our eyes will see today, because it might get worse.
Speaker 4:I don't know, that's the worst one I had, for sure, okay.
Speaker 5:I have no more. I just know who you are as an individual.
Speaker 4:Doug, I don't want to I don't know, how do you top cum box? Three-year-old cum box, I don't know.
Speaker 3:Well, here's the thing you can't, and I'm up next. If there were a person to do that, it'd be you, doug.
Speaker 4:Yeah, or something you have to box your cum. Yeah, right here, just watch, fucking whatever that movie is with fucking Willem Dafoe. Oh, antichrist, yeah, yeah, watch.
Speaker 5:Antichrist.
Speaker 4:Watch him ejaculate cum or blood there you go, oh God.
Speaker 3:So my next one comes from rslashmystery, from a user. This was 11 days ago, a user named Malahoffalter Malahoffalter, and they said in 2005, residents of Cape Elizabeth, maine, were disturbed by a man who quietly entered homes just to watch people sleep. He never stole anything or caused harm, but his strange behavior left people scared. The intruder was never caught and his identity remains a mystery. There is a link to a an article on them that I'm going to read a little bit of here, so the article is from the Lord Reports. He looks like a Pez dispenser. Yeah, they got an artist rendition. He looks like he does. Kind of look like he does.
Speaker 5:He's got the yeah, like you, just grab it and yank his head backwards and a bunch of sugar shit will come out of his neck. Fucking, suck it up.
Speaker 3:My guy's bricked up in the weird way.
Speaker 5:This is the cum box guy. This is the limited edition cum box Pestis.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So in 2005, something strange happened in the peaceful town of Cape Elizabeth, Maine. Families who have always felt safe in their homes suddenly found themselves waking into fear. A man who came to be known as the Cape Intruder was breaking into homes not to steal or harm, but simply to watch people sleep. His silent visits left the community shaken. To this day, his identity remains a mystery. The first reports came in August 2005. Residents told police that they had woken up to find a man standing in their bedrooms. He didn't say a word, he didn't take anything and once noticed he fled without a trace. Why is the table so wet?
Speaker 5:This is the cum table.
Speaker 3:This is the cum table. The cape intruder chose homes where the doors or windows were left unlocked. He never broke anything to get inside. The detail made some residents question their own habits. Pretty scary, said one victim, describing the chilling moment they realized a stranger had been watching them sleep. What made the situation even more confusing was that nothing was ever stolen. The man never touched anyone or made threats. His actions were limited to standing in bedrooms, watching, then disappearing. This behavior deeply disturbed the town. According to the Mirror, which is another news site, the intrusions lasted until February 2006, so it went for a good long while. Each visit followed a similar pattern no forced entry, no damage, just silent, eerie presence in the night. No forced entry, no damage, just silent, eerie presence in the night. That mystery, what he wanted and why he did it was what unsettled people the most. It goes on for a little bit more, but basically they call him the Halifax Sleep Watcher. This was in Halifax.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but like One of-workers is from Halifax, I think she lived there around that time I wonder if she knows about this. It's just a fucking creepy dude.
Speaker 3:That straight up he just. I feel like that's worse than stealing stuff from someone's house just going in there to just voyeur.
Speaker 5:It's like what the fuck do a little pez stare yeah he's just going there to loiter like.
Speaker 3:It's like what the fuck Do a little Pez stare, he's just going there to loiter Right. I don't like that. That's worse than if you came and stole my TV. I would rather that, because then I'd be like, oh, they had a motive. I don't know this fucker's motive.
Speaker 5:I'd rather catch you beating off in my room, because at least I know there's a fucking reason you're there. How hard was he? He was a little softer than normal giving the.
Speaker 4:Have you seen this man?
Speaker 5:yes, are you having strange dreams? Is it the 2.0? Mike is broken, the glasses are about to come off, for sure is it just me saying it and moving on very nonchalantly?
Speaker 4:oh yeah, 100%.
Speaker 5:He's like I don't know how you just said that and didn't fucking talk about it. Holy shit, we might have to take a break just to let Mike. Holy shit, we might have to take a break just to let Mike finish laughing.
Speaker 3:Wait. Like you Are you okay, oh my God, it's like you said it, like you were being interviewed from the news. He was a little softer than normal.
Speaker 5:Usually this time of day he's real fucking hard. But today he is Oof. Like you were there.
Speaker 3:He was a little softer than normal. We got a.
Speaker 5:Doug with an eyewitness report. It's softer than normal, not as hard as it usually is. Oh my god, holy fuck, jesus Fuck.
Speaker 3:That's all I got for that one. That was the whole thing. That was the whole thing. Just a pervert that goes into people's houses and watches them sleep. Just a quick. B&e yeah, just a quickie a little softer. Jesus Christ Matt, what do you got for us?
Speaker 2:Christ almighty. I got more subreddits. I got more stories.
Speaker 3:I can keep going, bro. I can keep going all fucking I got more subreddits, I got more stories.
Speaker 2:I can keep going, bro. I can keep going all fucking day.
Speaker 3:All right, it's every day, bro, with this Disney channel flow.
Speaker 2:Disney channel flow All right, so which one do I want to pick? All right, I want to mention a subreddit real quick, but we can't show it, so I'm not going to spend a lot of time on it and we may have brought it up before Our Cospenis, top two Cospenis, c-o-s-p-e-n-i-s Cospenis, and it is just a subreddit of men posting pictures of their penises dressed in the outfits it's like cosplay but penis.
Speaker 5:But can I bandwagon on that with another one just in same vein sure r slash dick lips. It's just people giving blowjobs, but the penis is completely photoshopped out except for the tip of it to make it look like they have massive lips.
Speaker 4:I think we've talked about this before, that that is a very funny. I think we've talked about this before. That is very funny.
Speaker 5:I think I have. But yes, look it up, it's funny. Anyway, sorry, go ahead, Matt.
Speaker 2:No, you're fine One I will show is called Are Far People Hate.
Speaker 3:Real quick. Do you think Space Dicks is still?
Speaker 5:around. I hope Space Clop is not.
Speaker 4:I don't believe Space Clop is. I don't believe Space Clop is available anymore.
Speaker 2:This community is banned. This subreddit was banned due to being unmonitored Banned three years ago.
Speaker 5:Damn it, that's. It was three years ago, that's it.
Speaker 2:There's been some more questionable stuff that's hung around for longer.
Speaker 4:That's fair. Oh, we're not wrong, it's farpeoplehate farpeoplehate.
Speaker 2:Yes, f-a-r people hate. So this is a parody of a subreddit that no longer exists called fatpeoplehate, which was a subreddit where people would post pictures and stories about fat people and then talk about how much they hate fat people for being lazy or whatever. There's a new subreddit related to that called, I think, fat people stories. Um, but anyway, far people hate is a joke, is like a parody of fat people hate and it's just pictures of people at a distance. Like it's, it's like, uh, so like here's a.
Speaker 2:Here's a good example. This is a really distant picture of a person on a cliff. It like, so like here's a good example. This is a really distant picture of a person on a cliff. Like is this the?
Speaker 5:Grand Canyon? I don't fucking know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they're real far away and then, yeah, they'll include something Like this. One is just titled Disgusting, that's it, that's it. I love these subreddits here's one, a picture of Faramir and it says Faramir, I'd prefer. Closamir, yeah, you get the idea. It's just people at a distance and then just like derogatory things about them yeah, just fuck you for being far away, fuck you, they ruin everything.
Speaker 3:Derogatory things about them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just fuck you for being far away, fuck you, they ruin everything.
Speaker 3:That's pretty great, I love that.
Speaker 5:That's fucking great.
Speaker 3:I don't think any suburb will ever top the nerve of people.
Speaker 2:The second of all time is a picture from the moon looking back at. Earth and it just says the nerve of people.
Speaker 3:For me, unfortunately. I don't think anything will ever top Doug's. Was it caveman tech support?
Speaker 5:Oh, that was pretty bad, that was so good. Found spider in cave.
Speaker 2:What do Mud butt? Mud butt water.
Speaker 3:Mud buttt water Engineer, engineer, anyway.
Speaker 5:That was funny. Another one that just popped in my head that I follow Is real bees Fake top hats. It's just pictures Of bees real bees With not real top hats. It's just pictures of bees real bees real bees with not real top hats on.
Speaker 3:I follow some strange ones too. I don't remember any off the top, but I feet, yeah. I look back and I'm like, yeah, I definitely this is from me from 2012 or some shit maps without. Tanzania that's one of my favorites um Doug, what do you got well?
Speaker 4:I was thinking about it and I think I think this one would be better for like a bonus or something. I don't know how long we've been on it, but this one, this one is. I was kind of reading through it again and I was like I don't know how much I want to talk about this one or not. It's it's. It's fine, uh, but I guess it's. It's a. It's talking about like what happens if you win the lottery. Like a ton of money, um, so I think it'd be better discussion for like a bonus episode.
Speaker 5:That's what I've decided well, if that was not a fucking advertisement for a goddamn patreon, I don't know what it is, yeah right right, so do you have no other ones?
Speaker 3:then?
Speaker 4:Yeah, that'd be it. That's it. I'll see you later.
Speaker 3:Okay, Bye Doug. I have two more then that we can cover.
Speaker 2:I got more stories.
Speaker 3:Hell yeah, I'll do this one first, because it's a quickie, I'll just knock both mine out.
Speaker 5:Are we just marathoning and just keep pulling shit out of the hat? I'm okay with that. I've had all these ready to go.
Speaker 3:If you want to find them, fuck it. This one is from rslashufos, from user inadreamstay it is called. An orb was found in Columbia. This was supposedly the same orb that was posted here a week or two ago. It landed on the ground. Orb that was posted here a week or two ago and landed on the ground and someone was able to pick it up. The orb stays cold, but water evaporates off it when poured on it. It stays cold when heated to 400 degrees Celsius. Now there is some subtext here. It says and this orb, by the way, I don't know if you have it on screen or not, matt, but this orb it the way. I don't know if you have it on screen or not, matt, but this orb is just an orb. It's got some weird imagery on the top. It's kind of like a star. It looks like. It kind of looks like this is going to be very niche, but from Avatar, legend of Korra, when they had the two big spirits that fight each other. They're like the good one and the bad one.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah yeah, yeah, it kind of looks like that you know, yeah, who are pondering the orb.
Speaker 2:Who are pondering the orb.
Speaker 3:They said there's a link to a YouTube channel, but we'll get to that in a second. So an orb was found in Colombia. It was the same orb. From those videos of the flying orb In Colombia from a week or two ago, they finally have one in civilian hands. In the video a guy says he does not want it to fall into the wrong hands because of the atrocities that it could commit if it were able to be reverse engineered. So he sent it to Jamie Maussan, the investigative journalist. And if you click on the YouTube link, this takes you to a Spanish site. So I'm going. This takes you to a. It's a Spanish site, so I'm going off context clues here. But it's technology, not human. Yeah, mouse on television, technologia, no humana. But if you look at more of it, this screams Like Spanish Coast to coast.
Speaker 5:Wow, this is literally coast to coast with fucking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, AM coast to coast with metal water, but it's pretty space coast, coast to coast, it's got a budget Like it's got 1.14 million subscribers and the budget for this looks pretty good.
Speaker 5:All of the conspiracies apparently exist in the US, according to that intro.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but here's a quick video of the orb they were talking about that was flying around last week. But they go on further. This is our guy. By the way, he looks like a Hispanic Colonel.
Speaker 5:Sanders.
Speaker 3:That's amazing. I don't think this is. I don't think this is. I don't think this is real, unfortunately, for two reasons. One, he's double lapel mic'd up.
Speaker 2:My guy's double caked. He's standing on a space station. To begin with, he's standing in space.
Speaker 3:This is some like Mexican ancient aliens shit right here. He's even got the fucking hands. And the reason I don't think this is real Is because A the videos and the imagery they have of this orb. First and foremost, they're like oh yeah, people try blow torching it. It's very obviously just some like metal ball that someone made. And then they're like oh yeah.
Speaker 5:Or a balloon with fucking metallic finish. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And then they're like oh yeah, it's like a food container.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right. Like it would seal together in the middle.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and they're like the comment before, where it's like, oh, even putting it under 400 degrees Celsius, it stays cool. Okay, it's just an image of a guy taking a blowtorch to it. It's like aluminum. It's like aluminum, real quickly.
Speaker 2:It 100% looks like aluminum yeah. It looks like a cookie tin that's rounded.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. And then they have. My favorite part is they have video footage of these, quote unquote like scientists in these like hazmat ass looking suits, like working on this thing and it's the most like high def camera quality shit.
Speaker 2:It looks like B footage like B roll footage. Colonel Sanders is watching it projected on the wall. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And they have like graphics that go on it. This is like recording in progress and things also.
Speaker 5:If this were, an actual test on something that they were trying to like. They didn't know what the fuck it was.
Speaker 3:They would not be having any holes in their suits yeah, not only that, but pretty sure that the, the tools are using to investigate, it is a soldering iron.
Speaker 5:It's a soldering iron on top of it looks like a fucking AM radio unit.
Speaker 3:That's probably just the power supply for the welder. But if you look at, this bit is supposed to show the temperature. I'm pretty sure of the solder and it doesn't do anything. It just stays. It doesn't really move too much and they're just. He's just touching away at it and then there he is just looking at it on like a projection and he this is the most insane shit I've ever seen. He's just rubbing it.
Speaker 5:Now it's my turn to rub it. This is no.
Speaker 3:I'm powdering the orb, let me poke it. What happens? If I and even in the comments people are like I don't, I'm calling bullshit, uh, they're not even saying like these videos look obviously fake. One person in the comments is like the water isn't evaporating, it's just running off, plenty of droplets hanging on. The mere mention of jamie maussan says bullshit to me immediately. Yep, yep, yep. And then, uh, yeah, there's just comments Like that galore, where it's like people are like yeah, I don't know about this here, buddy um.
Speaker 5:It's like that, fucking the Peru Aliens, yeah, which is Just the same guy that's. That's why I think that rang a bell for me that name Jamie Maussan. That might have been the same guy.
Speaker 3:I don't know, I'm not, I don't care enough to check tape, but that might have been the same dude. But yeah, it's not. Even the people in here believe that this is real. People are like, yeah, this looks fake as fuck.
Speaker 5:Right. Why the fuck would that be real?
Speaker 3:Also. Why Also it says that they let civilians handle it? If it's some giant orb with all this power, why are you just letting people touch it Whoever wants to? Just come on over.
Speaker 5:Ponder my orb. Do whatever the fuck you want.
Speaker 3:Governments generally aren't like that, but I found this super fascinating. Not much for the post itself, more or less for the weird YouTube video he touches it At the end, he has it. Oh, and a Culver's advertisement. So get yourself some, some, some butter burgers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is doesn't even look like he knows what's going on.
Speaker 5:No, he has no fucking idea.
Speaker 3:I like how they're like. Oh yeah, this must be a UFO.
Speaker 5:It's got the holes where you put like the screws in on the side, you know the side you know, and if like, yeah, I don't, if you just were, I'm convinced that if we actually found something that was alien, it in this like a drone, or like a surveillance probe, or some shit like that I don't think we would understand an iota of it.
Speaker 3:He's just banging on it, but they're like describing it there's, there's.
Speaker 5:We got vent holes here. How do you what?
Speaker 3:are you talking about? I like the concept more than what this became. If there was just like oh legend has of an orb that stays cold and you can burn it and it stays cool to the touch, that's kind of fun. If there's just like one photo of it out in the world and it's like, oh, is this real or not? Cool. But then you have this Wack show job, the wack show job uh, the whack show job the whack show job.
Speaker 3:This whack job show uh have this thing whack off a guy yeah, it's just like that kind of takes the realism out of it. I, I could tell this is fake now because of that. Well, that's part of it. With those production alone, yeah, screams. That's that's what I'm saying, especially with the scientists poking around on it Anytime.
Speaker 5:If you have to fluff anything up, such as that where you have to add effects and dramatizations to it. If you are presenting information that is fucking groundbreaking, you should not have to fluff it.
Speaker 2:Like this person says here. Thank you for great integrity to the person who recorded this fear and found it the most important to release it to public. Many countries would pay millions of dollars for it. Thank you, jamie Moussan, for great integrity to continue your work for public knowledge. Many would have never been involved in this information, would never see the daylight.
Speaker 5:Yeah, hi, jamie, that's Jamie. Right, that's 100% Jamie.
Speaker 2:Moussan writing no, no, it's WysyMan1.
Speaker 3:Actually it's funny that you say that, because here's that same comment. Someone was like the water isn't evaporating, it's just running off. Probably have droplets hanging on there. The mention of Jamie Moussan says bullshit to me immediately. Then OP comments and they're like there's visible stream of steam coming off it when they pour the water on it steam coming off it when they pour the water on it. Jamie was a reporter for 60 Minutes, mexico in 1990. Jamie was honored with the Global 500 Award by the United Nations Environment Program for his environmental reporting. He's an investigative journalist. Just because the Wright brothers failed to fly a plane multiple times does not discredit their success in finally flying a plane. Similarly, he may have found leads that led nowhere before, but this is something it does not discredit success. And the next comment is hi, jamie yeah, that's.
Speaker 5:It's real easy to and that's the OP yep, so like.
Speaker 3:I have, I have one last.
Speaker 5:I have to pee, so bad. Go for it, man. Go for it, oh you motherfuckers, get you motherfuckers.
Speaker 2:Oh, get the piss drawer.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, piss drawer Doug.
Speaker 5:This is the perfect time. Just fucking dedicate a drawer. Alright, I will Keep talking.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna go find a drawer in Mike's room and I'll do the same. There you go. Well, I guess I'm gonna go find my piss box, yeah.
Speaker 3:I guess go whiz, everyone, we'll fucking wait, no, you can just go. No, okay, bye. Okay, I'll go. Okay, bye, matt improv hour. How are you? Did you watch your Denny's? Denny's videos.
Speaker 2:I watched the only Denny's Denny's video that was found. We're still missing a Denny's Denny's video. That was found. We're still missing a Denny's Denny's video oh word. Yeah, I played it on stream, so everybody who was watching the twitch got to see Denny's Denny's in all it's glory aw man, I missed it. I mean, fuck it, we're not doing anything right now. You just want to watch the whole two and a half minutes again. Let's watch Denny's Denny's baby. We're doing Denny's Denny's round two for anybody who fucking missed it Bro.
Speaker 3:Also, I like the idea of making this hat a giveaway item. What do you think?
Speaker 2:Sure, I really don't care. Hell yeah brother. Hell yeah brother. I really really don't care.
Speaker 3:We'll sign it.
Speaker 2:Alright, you got the stream up. We're fucking Denny's Den. Alright, it's Denny's Denny's time again. Boys and girls.
Speaker 6:Let's go. Hi, I'm Denny Hamlin and welcome to Denny's Denny's Austin. Come on, man, get it together. Interns. I'm Denny Hamlin. I drive in the Fast Car Spring Cup circuit. Been doing it for 10 years and great successful career. We've won 24 races. We have 19 pole positions. I'm also wicked good at darts. Guys, I think I can make it from here. I still got it. Denny's is just an American tradition. I was born next to a Denny's. There was a Denny's next to the racetrack. When I was growing up Family breakfast, junior prom I couldn't get Denny's out of my head. I was doodling Denny's. I was building model Denny's restaurants. I hatched a plan to bring a Denny's everywhere. I go with it. I call it Denny's, denny's Den.
Speaker 6:Denny's everywhere I go with it. I call it Denny's, denny's, denny Hamlin, denny's Restaurant, denny's Denny's, denny's Denny's. I took the initial designs to my team. We did as much R&D as possible Track tested, track approved. We even brought in a couple specialists to help with this. We've been watching Denny's shit now Uh-huh. Welcome back in a couple specialists to help with this kind of thing. We've been watching Denny's shit.
Speaker 6:Now. The bacon wheels started way too powerful, turns out. Pancakes are a lot more airy than everything. The menu is probably my favorite part of this project the grand slamming the moon's over my handlers.
Speaker 1:We had some tough decisions to make, but you learn from your failures.
Speaker 3:You will fly. That's not right.
Speaker 6:Everything had to be perfect for this war. The serfs had to flow at exactly 11 PSI. That milkshake suit. It had to be 33 degrees.
Speaker 2:No cola, no fun, the milkshake suit bro.
Speaker 6:But all that hard work was definitely worth it, because today we round turn four. Let's do the flag. It's the greatest day of my life. It's great to see my crew celebrate like that. They really deserve it. Did get a little emotional though. Denny's. Denny's surpassed my wildest dreams, dreams.
Speaker 2:Why does he say dreams twice?
Speaker 3:It's the best part Dreams.
Speaker 6:Denny Hamlin. Keep an eye on my Denny's Denny's.
Speaker 3:I don't want to second guess your investigative skills here. Did you never think to put into youtube nascar demi hamlin commercial, because that's the title of this video no, no, I.
Speaker 2:I was looking for denny's, denny's bro also. It's not really a commercial, it was a youtube video that was uploaded to you know, what fuck you, man? Why are you such a hater?
Speaker 5:I was wondering when you were just gonna get to that. Why am I explaining myself?
Speaker 3:fuck off now that everyone's back from their big ol pissy break, big piss break. Yeah, all of us pissin wowie zowie. We're back in action. So why the fuck is it green all of a sudden? What? Why is it working? My of a sudden what?
Speaker 3:My next sub so my next one, is from r slash weird by Chris Boudreau, called weird marks showing up on floor. Help, and he comments Moved in. There are only Moved in, and there were only two A few years later and they were multiplying, multiplying, no idea. They don't wipe off. Some are darker, they seem to be forming. There are more forming on the other side of the room as well. Seems stupid, right Like this. Doesn't look like there's much going on. So you check the comments. First comment oh my god, I have the same things. Just always assume that they're from the previous owner doing weird shit because he is known for doing weird shit. Never really thought to keep track of them to see if there's more appearing and what these things are. They kind of look like Legos. It's like little rubber stamps. It's like a stamp, like someone stamped a Lego onto your floor, like maybe a wood bracket underneath the big ass fucking picture.
Speaker 3:But then if you keep going in the comments, even more, there's other people that are like I've got them too, but I can only see them under a black.
Speaker 2:It looks like somebody always wondered, somebody branded the floor with a lego and it's not like they're on the individual planks. It's like on the floor because it goes from plank to plank yeah.
Speaker 3:another person, uh, secret pets is like I got them too, but I can only see them under black lights. What seems to be going on. This prompted people to be like hey, op, uh, get a black light, see a blacklight, see if there's any more. He commented. He's like, oh yeah, I got a blacklight. I couldn't find any more of them, but it's very interesting. And people started sleuthing. There's a point where someone even commented they're like yeah, I have these, they're from. They're like I have them all over my floor.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so the same mark there. They say I have them all over my floor. They're from the rubber feet on my treadmill and massage chair. It's like the rubber starts decomposing and leaving a residue. If anyone has tips on how to remove them, I'd be grateful. They don't scrub off. Op says these are the exact same, but no furniture has been there since I moved.
Speaker 3:More posts. There's more posts of people being like yeah, this looks like it's probably from workout equipment or something. There's even posts of people Posting Like do it to it 42. They're like there is definitely a pattern here. It's four sets of marks. They quote unquote Feet or whatever is causing. These marks are at a 90 Degree angle, however far apart, but it's a consistent spacing for Pairs. Has anyone been working out in the Area? Maybe an exercise step? What? Yeah, so people are like oh yeah, if you look, it's like this one, like they're turning the machine or they're moving the machine or something. Op is like there hasn't been anything there, so I don't know what it could be. There's another person that's like yeah, these look like this track is from this one, these two steps are from this track, and people are like yeah, these are definitely looking like rubber feet. A little rubber feet. Yeah, someone even posted a picture. These very much look like these rubber feet.
Speaker 3:Polyurethane rubber can be affected by a process known as hydrosis, where the polyurethane breaks down and is more prone to happen in warm and humid climates. I guess what is happening Is that an object was previously Placed on the floor and leached some chemical Into the polyurethane base Varnish. After the object Was removed, the leached chemical now is the opportunity To oxidize in the air and sunlight, and Even OP is like that was my best guess, but it doesn't. Someone said it almost looks like hardware, maybe underneath the floor, heating up and burning in. That sounds like a stretch, but I'm stumped. And OP's like that's my best guess, but nothing smells like it's burnt. There's no burn smell or nothing like that. If it was hardware, it's in such a strange configuration I'm almost afraid to tear it up and look.
Speaker 3:So everyone's giving OP these ideas on what it could be, but he keeps denying them. Someone else says drywall stilts. They probably put the flooring down using stilts for drywalling or painting, then finish the floor without sanding again, op said. But to show up randomly and to different degrees would be a contender, however. So everyone's giving them ideas, but OP's like no, I'm telling you. Nothing's been in this spot, but shit keeps popping up. What do you guys think is going on here? Someone posted a Legoman because it's his feet.
Speaker 2:I agree with the theory here that so like residue from the feet stuck to the floor and got gooey over time and then, like it was, initially invisible, but then, over time, it started collecting dirt and shit.
Speaker 5:Which is why you can see it under blacklight and it got browner and browner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it would seem like the chemical or adhesive or melty rubber or whatever may show up under blacklight, but it may be a little bit sticky and then as stuff like dirty stuff moves over it, it starts collecting dirt, moves over it. It starts collecting dirt. Because I've actually had this happen to a floor where I had put duct tape down on a floor to hold a wire in place and then I peeled the tape up and when I peeled it up it didn't look like there was anything there, but over time as I walked over it and stuff, it started collecting dirt and then where the tape was became pretty visible. I bet that's the same sort of thing that's happening.
Speaker 5:Yeah, that was my guess and honestly I I'm kind of on board with the uh fucking drywall stilts because like those do have rubber bottoms. I don't know what kind of rubber bottoms, but if there were that many in an area you'd only need like between two and six for a wall, and so if that's like a shorter wall, I could understand, and if that's a corner, that would explain the 90 degree rotations for two of them at the bottom.
Speaker 3:I think it's so. The reason I brought it up was because I, when I first found this, I was very fascinated with the fact that, like he posted this and was like what is this? And you had like four people in the comments. They're like I got those two, what the fuck? Was like what is this? And you had like four people in the comments and they were like I got those two, what the fuck? But then you do realize I think it is just from like some, it is just residue from like a treadmill or workout equipment, because someone even posted they're like the marks start to look like the shape of treadmill rubber pads they posted a picture of treadmill rubber pads like yeah, they posted a picture of the rubber pads from a treadmill.
Speaker 3:It's literally, literally the most identical thing.
Speaker 5:We started with aliens, yeah, and then we went to gnomes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but the swamp gas, I forgot where it was. But someone in the comments was like yeah, dude, this is just from an old treadmill. I do this exact same thing. It's for moving your treadmill back and forth. The reason it's a 90 degree angle is because a lot of treadmills. You can lift up the back, swivel it to place it against the wall or something, so you get that movement.
Speaker 4:So I think my cat fucking stepped on my my mute button because I've been talking and I'm like what the fuck?
Speaker 5:No one is oh yeah.
Speaker 2:You haven't said a word in like 10 minutes. I was, like man Doug's, really over it.
Speaker 4:So I was trying to say I have a treadmill out in my other room and it leaves like almost those exact marks and I could literally go and take a picture of them right now and send it to you guys.
Speaker 2:son of a bitch okay, hold on, it's an interactive episode for Doug, I'm wondering if, like a bow, flex or like one of those infomercial type things.
Speaker 5:Yeah, a nordic track yeah, one of those like infomercially.
Speaker 2:Exercise equipment things has that, because a lot of those are meant to like fold up and like move around, so like if it has like feet that you like lay out and then you like put it up or whatever I could see it making.
Speaker 3:I'm thinking so too, yeah this started off as a fun mystery, but as you read the comments, it's just yeah, there's, this is workout equipment.
Speaker 5:I do love that. Everyone went fucking wildly like left field first.
Speaker 3:I just really enjoy the concept of like the like. The moment you see this and you scroll down someone's just like I got these two. What the fuck yeah that's pretty that. Immediately I was just like oh, we got some juicy shit. But if you go down to the next company, it's like yeah, it's from a treadmill.
Speaker 4:It's like Lots of Americans are fat. The feet on my treadmill are different, but I find these all over where I keep my treadmill. This isn't a good picture because we clean regularly, but this is what's left right now it's in the Discord, the Patreon on the chat. Again, we clean regularly, so it's just a single one.
Speaker 2:Same vibe though.
Speaker 5:And the other one had it on tile too.
Speaker 3:All right, yeah, the other one, yeah, yeah, it had on tile and hardwood Hardwood. Fake wood. Yeah, mystery solved. Yep, it was gnomes, we knew it. It was gnomes. Speaking of gnomes, there's a YouTube channel. We did the YouTube last time, but it's. I can see the gnomes, or whatever, and it's about gnomes causing a ruckus. When are we?
Speaker 5:doing John Titor.
Speaker 3:So, matt, you said, you have another one right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I also want to talk about that person. That person in the comments on Spotify asked us to talk about because I think that would be fun, but we don't have time, oh yeah, roy Joy or whatever, yeah.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Yeah, I got a story to send us off with Y'all ready for this.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm ready for this.
Speaker 6:All right.
Speaker 2:It's from the same thread 11 years ago on Reddit, what's the creepiest shit you got? And this person says I lived in a bizarre little house as a child. It was incredibly tall and thin, like an attached house, except freestanding, with three floors, a basement and an attic. It was full of quirks, such as two fully functional fireplaces, a shower stall in the center of the basement, a backyard so small that you could not take five paces without hitting the fence and an old that you could not take five paces without hitting the fence and an old-timey rope-pulled dumbwaiter that led from the kitchen to my bedroom. I loved that weird little place, but unfortunately it was incredibly old and half of its charm was the fact that it seemed to have been designed by an inarticulate conclave of lunatics, and eventually the repair costs exceeded what my parents were willing to sink into it and we had to move.
Speaker 2:Preparing for the move was a chore. I packed most of my stuff myself and I had taken to throwing stuff down the dumbwaiter and shoveling all of my clothes so thickly in my closet that they became a single solid brick of fabric. While clearing that closet out, in fact, I came across a feature I hadn't noticed before an attic entrance in the roof. Being an adventurous kid, I opened her up, stood on the clothes brick and began my first and last exploration into the topmost part of our weird little house. The first thing I noticed was that it wasn't as dark as it should have been. The place was strung with old red Christmas lights which still burned, with leftover incandescence, and a dozen little cracks and holes peeped down into all the bedrooms below. The second thing I noticed was that the place was set up for habitation. The insulation was plasticed away and there was an old gurney pulled with sleeping bags and sheets and a rusted mint green refrigerator which still worked when I tested it. The third thing was the bones there were a lot of bones.
Speaker 2:Oh, the bones. I always forget about the bones. I was a kid at the time with a limited understanding of anatomy, but there were bones of all types heaped into a series of piles around the center of the attic, Small and large, clean and white from every and any imaginable sort of creature, haphazardly stacked in a half dozen clumps. Two of them were blackened as if someone had tried to burn them, and the walls nearest those blackened piles were screwed in dark bone char messages. Mostly they were just smears, but the word sorry appeared more than once. That room had been sitting over my head for eight years while I slept. Hmm.
Speaker 3:Is this another real or fake situation? Sure.
Speaker 2:It can be.
Speaker 3:It's spooky, sure it is spooky, I just don't really know how to feel about that. Alright, I like how Matt's just like come on, give me more, give me something.
Speaker 5:I just, I don't know, maybe I'm a fucking weirdo. That doesn't really sound too. I don't know. Bones in the'm a fucking weirdo.
Speaker 2:That doesn't really sound too abnormal to me. I don't know Bones Christmas lights that are still on. Bones Christmas lights that are still on.
Speaker 3:That sounds normal to you.
Speaker 5:That also sounds like something I would have done as a child.
Speaker 3:Your life must have been interesting growing up.
Speaker 2:But who did it? Who strung up the boons?
Speaker 5:I don't know, did they talk about anybody else who's in the house? Their parents?
Speaker 2:It's just them.
Speaker 5:It was just their parents. It's them and their parents.
Speaker 2:Alright, it's fake, that's fine, I'm gonna go fake. That's fine. Whatever man, I don't understand. Whatever man, all right, I got another one, but fuck it.
Speaker 3:Whatever, no, you don't. One more. One more, one more.
Speaker 5:I hope you didn't think there was a slight against you, because that was just us not understanding. No, it's just a story. It's also hard to read because it's got a lot of big words in it and I'm stupid.
Speaker 4:I'd be scared if I could read. Yeah, that's also true.
Speaker 2:I haven't gotten a lot of sleep. Did you see where Travis Kelsey was like? Hosting Saturday Night Live was really hard Because, or not, travis?
Speaker 3:Yeah it was Travis Kelsey.
Speaker 4:Was it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was Travis. Sorry, no, not Jason Travis, but yeah, he was. Like the hardest part of Listening Saturday Night Live Was I can't fucking read the the notes.
Speaker 3:Our education system. Let us down.
Speaker 2:But the thing is, this man's been to college, yeah Right.
Speaker 3:It's hard to read.
Speaker 2:Anyway, Another story from the same thread. I had awesome parents who let me sleep in the living room on weekend nights when I was very young, because my sister was a light sleeper and I could stay up until dawn. But of course I always ended up sleeping on the couch because Nick at night made me tired.
Speaker 4:So one night.
Speaker 2:I wake up to the prickly, feeling like an instinct, just bolted into a sitting position and stared out the front window. We lived in rural Georgia, so you can imagine the magnitude of trees In perfect light cast from the moon. I see a silhouette of someone in this fucking tree. The family dog dashes to the window and is snarling into the glass, terrified. I run into my parents' room and try to explain to my parents that there's a strange person outside. Dad grabs something defensive and darts outside with the dogs to beat the wax off the hothead. I tremble in mama's arms until dad comes home and says he saw no one.
Speaker 2:And to go to bed I decided to sleep in my regular bedroom. I fill in my sister as to what has happened. Dad is making regular rounds in the house with a cup of coffee. We're all still and I finally think I can sleep. Nope, I noticed the man outside of my window. From what I can see in the moonlight. He gives me a shush signal, shush signal, a shush signal and runs away. Just turns around and runs away in a straight line. I swear I couldn't stop crying for what felt like hours.
Speaker 5:Definitely just their uncle, what the fuck? Yeah, it's that Pest Dispenser guy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, that's not too weird. That's not weird. That's something that I would do if I was a kid.
Speaker 5:I mean, I've read real stories about that, yeah no, I did that to you as a child. Yeah, um no.
Speaker 4:I talked about when they said that prickly feeling.
Speaker 5:Yeah, what the what? I got stuck there for a minute.
Speaker 2:When you get, a boner yeah, while you're watching it first Wait where did you say this was Wait?
Speaker 4:where did you say this was Georgia?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's their uncle. Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's creepy. I like that, especially because you don't get a good description of what the thing in the tree is.
Speaker 5:It sounds like somebody who had a very traumatic experience and who had parents that didn't believe them.
Speaker 2:I'll be honest as I read both these stories, I was like you know what? These really aren't that great.
Speaker 4:You were in a different place at the time you were on the first time.
Speaker 2:I was like these aren't bad. But now reading them again, I'm like you know. I didn't really. I could have come to the table with something better on this one, but hey you know, what you win some and you lose some, and sometimes it's just middle of the road.
Speaker 5:Well, you're just trying to cluster a target. The more shots you take, the more chances you have to hit.
Speaker 2:I'm really tired, I'm really tired. Well what better?
Speaker 3:place to end it there than we're all sleepy peepees now. We're old. Now we gotta do a bonus after this you guys have to do a bonus kill me the dog and I could do it if you want to go, if you too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's fine. What's another night without sleep?
Speaker 3:well everyone. I would like to say thank you for chiming in on this weird dive into random reddit stuff that we found Weird, weird. I want to go ahead and say go to r slash dad and give him plenty of kiss emojis and go from there. I also want to say go to deluitycom patreoncom slash deluitypod. Go to linktreecom slash dilutypod. If you go to our website, you'll find other links to all our shit. Gmail is dilutypod at gmailcom. Send us emails and be like hey, this is what this is like, things of that manner. Go to our Discord Give us money. Go to our YouTube Buy our merch. Butt. Licker us money. Um, go to youtube. Buy our merch. Prices are butt liquor. Our prices have never been lower liquor.
Speaker 5:Um, that's all I got, jason well, like I said last time, uh, clams stay paranoid, um I don't know.
Speaker 3:Yes but I'd say smack your clam directly in the lips or some shit like that.
Speaker 4:Stay stupid slap your lips with your clam, or something.
Speaker 2:Matt, what do you have? Don't let your dreams be dreams dreams, dreams dreams.
Speaker 3:Douglas, what do you got um? I want everyone to go.
Speaker 4:I want everyone to go out and buy a new pair of. I want everyone to go. I want everyone to go out and buy a new pair of shoes.
Speaker 3:I'm sure I still go.
Speaker 4:No, I want everyone to go buy a new pair of shoes, and when you put those shoes on at the end of your long day, I want you to go rub one out and make sure that it goes into the box for the next two to five years of your life. Just do it.
Speaker 5:I love the man's rationale for that was I bought new shoes and I needed a hard stop record yourself doing it yes but schedule each one though.
Speaker 2:But schedule the uploads for, like, the next 30 years, and then die 30 years worth of jizz, and then die, you keep jizzing in your death in the afternoon.
Speaker 3:Well, everyone, have a nice day. Don't come too hard bye.
Speaker 1:Have a nice day. Don't come too hard. Try to after this. Bye.
Speaker 2:Don't look under the internet.
