Don't Look Under the Internet
Don't Look Under the Internet
DLUTI 215 - Ken M and a Disney Vacation
This week we take a peak at more strange things we found on Reddit and revisit the legacy of an internet legend.
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SPEAKER_01:Uh-uh. You didn't hear anything, Mike.
SPEAKER_02:Hello, everyone. Welcome to Don't Walk Under the Internet. The podcast where I'm gonna eat this last bit of furola and Jason's gonna say his name. That's Jason.
SPEAKER_01:Fuck you. For making me say, hi, I'm Jason.
SPEAKER_02:That's Matt.
SPEAKER_01:Fuck Doug. Doug's not here. I hate I this my my my audiophilia is going fucking insane right now. I'm done, I'm done.
SPEAKER_02:But yeah, it should be Mike. Doug's not here today. But I am. And really isn't that all that matters? Me.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, Mike. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Why you don't know?
SPEAKER_00:You're all that matter, Mike. Why didn't we just wait the fucking five extra minutes and just because we finished eating?
SPEAKER_02:Because that's not the show. I also enjoy, so I don't mean to laugh at my jokes as much as much as I do. But um I'll say a joke, and apparently it just doesn't land because sometimes neither of you or n or none of you three will laugh at it. And so I laugh to cut the tension because I feel awkward that I tried being funny and it failed. Yeah, I get that.
SPEAKER_00:I'll say things that I don't think that I don't actually believe are that funny, and then I'll laugh because yeah. That's my that's also my reaction to things that are uncomfortable and awkward is just laughing, which has gotten me in trouble before because like when things when like uncomfortable things happen, I I'm basically that bare naked lady's song. Yep. How can I help it if I laugh laugh at a funeral something, something? That's me.
SPEAKER_02:It happens.
SPEAKER_01:I'm glad different ways. Like funerals. Yeah, everyone copes with funerals differently. Some people cheese about it. What are we doing here, dudes? What are we doing here? The same thing with you every night, Pinky. Try to take over Reddit.
SPEAKER_02:Do a heroin and be really upset a couple days later. That's gonna stick with it doesn't go as planned.
SPEAKER_00:That's gonna stick with you, isn't it, Mike?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I uh that that hurts. That hurts.
SPEAKER_01:I just I still can't get past the logic of you know what? He doesn't have one gram of weed. I have to buy a cave. So I'll do heroin.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, I don't want I don't want to do that much weed. Let's do heroin.
SPEAKER_01:That's the part that I can't get past.
SPEAKER_00:I just I said do weed like doing a marijuana. Doing one marijuana? Yeah, he did a whole marijuana.
SPEAKER_02:I really I really just wanted to buy this this uh this this water cup from Target, but they didn't have any cups left. So I bought a gun.
SPEAKER_00:That's not where I thought you were going. I thought you were gonna be like, I bought a handle of whiskey or of Jim Beam or something.
SPEAKER_01:Nah, fam. That it was the same caliber, no fucking pun intended, god damn it. Nice, dude.
SPEAKER_02:Sick joke, bro. All right, who who's going first this time around?
SPEAKER_01:I can go first if you want. Alright. Go ahead, Matt. No, way more enthusiastic.
SPEAKER_00:Um okay, so basically I've just got a bunch of scary stories, like short scary stories that I collected from around Reddit. Um, and so I'll just they're they're fairly short, so I'll read one and then we can go back around and whatever. Um so the first scary story I've got starts like so. I got married too young, 21, and then divorced when I was 23. A few months went by and I started having these nightmares. Long story short, a girl in a white dress with brown hair matted with leaves and dirt, walks into my house, cracking muddy footprints. She stops and stares at the attic stairs, which are down for some reason. I asked her why she's there. She screams and the whole house crumbles. I never saw her face. I had this nightmare almost every night for three months, and when I say almost every night, I mean probably 95% of the time. For some reason I started sleeping in my living room as opposed to the bedroom. I just wasn't very comfortable in there. So I'm sleeping on my couch one night and wake up around 2 a.m. for no reason. I check my phone and see I have a text from my friend and respond. Important because it verifies I was awake. I started getting very uncontr I started getting very uncomfortable, and then I heard a knock at my door. I walk around and peek out the window and there's a girl there. I can't see anything other than her white hoodie, which is up, and long dark hair coming out of it. She knocks, then knocks again. Not urgently or anything, but she didn't appear intent on leaving. So stupidly, in retrospect, looking back on this as a 34-year-old, I crack open the door. In a quiet voice, she asks if she can use my cell phone. I still can't really see your face because my porch light was out, and I've been putting off changing the bulb for no reason at all. I ask if everything's okay, and she's repeats that she needs to use the phone. Again, against my better judgment, I put my cell phone to the dial screen and hand it to her. I see her hit a few things and then uh put the phone to her ear, and the screen light gave me a better view of her face. She was younger, somewhere between 18 to 22, plain, not really particularly distinguished in any way. She waits for a minute and then says, Hey, I need help. I need your help. Yeah, okay. Then hands me the phone again. So I look at my phone and it's still on the dial screen. Something felt weird to me, so I clicked over to the recent calls and she hadn't called anyone. When I looked up, she was gone. Not quite vanished, but like way, way down the street, farther than anyone should have been able to cover in that time frame, walking away. After that, the nightmare stopped. Potentially related, two months later I got a call from a friend at night, maybe around 10 p.m., who was like, hey, want to come over for a beer? I wasn't doing anything, so I did.
SPEAKER_02:Hang on, I'm gonna I have to stop you real quick. You're echoing out of Jason's mic. I I could hear it really bad.
SPEAKER_00:So do I just start the whole story over now? Because I was like two sentences. I was like two sentences from the end. So this is Sorry.
SPEAKER_02:No, it was the past like two five seconds, it started popping up.
SPEAKER_00:I'll just read the last paragraph again then.
SPEAKER_02:There you go.
SPEAKER_00:After that, the nightmare stopped. Potentially related. Two months later I got a call from a friend late at night, maybe around 10 p.m., who was like, hey, want to come over for a beer? I wasn't doing anything, so I did. I got back about 1 a.m. and my house had been broken into. Totally trashed with a bunch of valuables gone. Certainly don't think my friend had anything to do with that, but I do sometimes wonder if that girl was casing my house that night. It's the only correlation I can make between the dream stopping and the real world explanations for that weird experience. The whole thing was just super weird. And I don't know who posted that because a lot of these are deleted now.
SPEAKER_02:That shit do be freaking me out. I I have the creepy thought of like someone knocking on my door at the middle of the night and being like, hey, I need help. What do you like to do in this situation? Just go like, nah, I know where this could be headed. Yeah, you don't you don't hear it. You don't hear it.
SPEAKER_00:Well, there's like I think this is a story I read on another one of these where somebody this basically this exact same thing happens to somebody, and it turns out that there was a man waiting in the bushes, like yeah, outside the window, waiting for them to answer the door so that they could break into the house behind them and like take them like captive, I guess. Fuck that. I don't know. I don't like answering my door. Even in the middle of the day, nobody comes to my house, so even in the middle of the day, like if somebody knocks on the door, I'm like, oh god. This is it, I'm dead.
SPEAKER_01:Is it it?
SPEAKER_02:Today's the day. Today's the day. Alexa battle mode. Um all right. That's pretty horrifying. That is horrifying.
SPEAKER_01:Do you want uh something to lighten the mood? Yeah, lighten the mood, Daddy. Do you want, all right? I'm gonna give you guys uh a choice here. Do you want okay? I'm just gonna read the actual suburb of this. Do you want Disney Vacation? Do you want uh the Ocho, or do you want Ken M?
SPEAKER_02:Is the Ocho related to ESPN8 the Ocho?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, yes, it is. All right. You go to R slash the Ocho. Um, you will find a collection of some of the weirdest, most seldom seen sports from around the globe since 1999. Um the first one you're gonna see is a bed making competition, and holy shit are these fuckers intense. There's like a apparently like a standard method to making beds. I don't know where the points come from or anything like that, but it's just too it's what I what you're watching, is just two dudes making a fucking bed, just as best they can.
SPEAKER_02:Um I love those um those videos of competitions or whatever in like the south of dudes that just take a knife and just hack at shit like water bottles and stuff.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, there's one of them that's coming, like not knives, but it's just a bunch of fucking people out in the fucking country. What is this called? There's a it's called the Ocho. R slash the Ocho.
SPEAKER_00:Um there's a video of a bunch of dudes. Ocho. I thought you were saying the Oat Show.
SPEAKER_01:The Oat Show. The Oat Show. Ocho, like Spanish word for eight.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, no, I got it.
SPEAKER_01:Or the dodgeball reference. Um, so there's another, there's a bunch of fucking like out in the country, there's a bunch of dudes hanging onto a log that's being picked up by a fucking backhoe and being hung over a river. I'm assuming it's last person hanging winds, I guess.
SPEAKER_02:It's like one of those competitions where you can't move your hand from the car, and if you don't, you'll win.
SPEAKER_00:But yeah, pretty much your life over uh instead, you probably get eaten by alligators.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, alligators and gangrene is in your I love that ESPN made a legit Ocho station. Yeah, used to have it on at uh ATT and it would just be dudes playing like cornhole and stuff. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I will say this is where this is where I found out about the real life innovation for uh the game Rocket League. Um, that actually used to be a Yugoslavian sport, which this is my obligatory one day, please for the love of God, can we cover the downfall of Yugoslavia because it is very internet-based.
SPEAKER_00:This is like a fourth episode in a row, you've asked, if we can do that.
SPEAKER_01:I what it's it's fucking ridiculous. It is so wild. That's trying to insane. But Autoball is a competition. Um, it was a a sport in Yugoslavia in which there were two different colored teams. In this video, there's a red and a uh a white team, and it's just a bunch of people in cars hitting a giant soccer ball back and forth towards different nets. It's fucking great. It's just Rocket League in real life.
SPEAKER_00:Yugoslavia.
SPEAKER_01:You can find Japanese synchronized walking competitions. Um, you've got all the different like the Red Bull soapbox competitions where people build the most ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00:Those are so much fun. I love those. Those look like a lot of those, the crashes, people look like they were getting seriously injured.
SPEAKER_01:There's gotta be like seven waivers you sign because yet some people I'm like, Did you make it? Like, are you still on Earth after this? This is ridiculous. Um, there's a forklift world championship. I love those. Oh, dude, they're they're insane. People that so when Mike and I used to work at a menard's warehouse, uh, we used to think that I'm sure we both thought that we were the shit, but also there were definitely some people who were like, Holy shit, you are incredible at driving a forklift. These fucking people the German forklift German forklift world championships, you can find here. There's uh the housekeeping Olympics, you can find here as well. Um, there's a tram world championship in which you drive a European tram car and try to make the doors open and line up with an arrow as close as possible, which is it's kind of impressive, but also what the fuck? You can find wife carrying contests in which it's a giant race for you just carry your wife through the whole fucking obstacle course. Um there's over fifties world cycling championships for whatever reason. Um over fifty is oh, bottle dodging. That one's a fun one.
SPEAKER_02:That's a that's a cut.
SPEAKER_01:Um oh right, this is where I actually I actually went down a rabbit hole in this one. There is a sport that I love right now, and I would love to learn how to make this happen or how it works. It's called Hornussen, and it is a it's called or Swiss farmers golf. And essentially you put a like a disc type thing at the end of a a wooden metal encased ramp, and then you move on to smack it with like a 10-foot long pole that's super bendy, so you get a lot of torque on it, and then you hit towards teammates who are all trying to catch this thing in a fucking field. I don't understand the rules or the point system, but holy shit, does it look fun? Um, bare knuckle ice fighting. I did not know there was a sport in which you put on hockey skates, hockey pads, but no gloves. Oh, they just get the boring parts of hockey. Right. Correct. They just beat the ever-loving piss out of each other on the ice, and it's a super tiny ice rink. It's kind of great. Um, there's something called suit jutsu, suitsu, which is basically just John Wick. Like you have a gun and a knife, and you basically just it's close quarters combat, but like in a John Wick fashion.
SPEAKER_00:I know nothing you just said was racist, but it it felt like it was.
SPEAKER_01:It felt aggressively offensive. Um I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:The word suit jitsu just makes me uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_01:Uh you can find armored MMA where people wear full like medieval suits and use different medieval weapons to just beat the piss out of each other. Um they have oh right. Uh there's now a new race called the Jetson one, in which people drive fully operational uh personal hovercraft drones in a race-like fashion around the course. That's pretty great. Yeah. Um there's a butterfly knife championship. There's fucking tag. There's a world cup for tag. Yeah, didn't know that was a thing until I get there's this.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, the the fucking tag shit that combines like parkour and tag. Dude, yeah, I watched the championships of that last year because I was I was invested.
SPEAKER_01:I actually think I saw this, and it was on right after uh the hammer toss because Kelly and I like to watch the weird like one-offs for Olympic sports. I think we saw that. There's like competitions for the floors lava and stuff too. Yeah, hell yeah. Box stacking competitions where you try to throw boxes on top, and it's just it's like it's just fucking wild.
SPEAKER_00:There's yeah, we gotta we gotta move on from here because we could do this all episode.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I can talk about it for another a couple hours. Oh, running on Legos.
SPEAKER_00:Oh no.
SPEAKER_01:One of my favorites is extreme mail delivery. Like it's just there's a series of extreme circumstances in which you have to put letters into a mailbox. Like that's the whole thing. That's the way to do it, dude. Aggressively. Yeah, so if you if you're bored and you wanna you wanna laugh and you want to find some weird fucking sports, go check out r/slash the oat show. It is the great ESPN 8. The Ocho.
SPEAKER_02:I I have for you today, and Moot, you can pull it up if you want. It's in the the the doc. It's ball part one. Um this is again from R slash, what is it? From a uh user, J Hat Catter. And it says, Found it in the park, shit won't stop glowing. And he has a picture of a little green ball in his hand. He says, I thought it was glow in the dark, but it was glowing since I brought it home in my pocket. It was glowing even with lights turned on. Now, a couple people made the obvious joke. Yeah, a lot a lot of people made the obvious joke of hanium, they had post-Homer Simpson memes, things like that. Other people said that it looks like a EDC and everyday carry glow dot. But OP was even like, I don't think so, because those are have a flat base to where you can set them somewhere. This is completely round. Someone said that he should put it in soap and water. He did so, and by doing so, he said that this weird um he put in soap and water, and it's leaving some sort of paint or whatever on his hands, and he can't wash it off. Someone also said he should microwave it, and he continued to do so. So he's they're doing a lot of experiments. Um while everyone else is kind of fucking with him. Someone said that it's a phosphor, uh phosphorent pearl ball. Um and uh someone's like, oh yeah, that looks that looks like what it might be here. Um there's another one that someone said it was a uh what's it called? Uh trivium, triftium, tritium, something like that. Trivium. It's a little tritium ball, which apparently is a form of radioactive uh element, but it's in very small doses, like what's in this ball. Um, it's safe and it can glow for up to 10 years. Someone said that they have one of these balls, and uh they're they're it's a super fun thing to have.
SPEAKER_00:This person says, I have an Iranian friend willing to buy it from you for a hundred grand.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah, here he goes. Uh it looks like it's tritium. They're uh they're made as full spheres by Tragolite and apparently hard to get without a commercial license. Made Switzerland. It's here on their page if you scroll down a little bit. So someone else is like, Oh, this is tritium, like you're not supposed to have this. But the other person's like, Oh no, it's a little tritium ball thing you could buy. Um, so there's a lot of people that are just like, What the fuck is this thing?
SPEAKER_01:Um seems like some people are like, Yes, you can have this because they sell it. And other people are like, You should you should not be able to fucking buy that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Um, but yeah, someone even like the person, uh Suspicious Water 454 said that they have this similar thing on their key, just smaller. It's tritium, it's safe, it'll glow for 10 years. But um, yeah, so a lot of people are like, What is this? A lot of people post in the the pondering the orb meme, and I'm here for it.
SPEAKER_00:Um, pondering the orb.
SPEAKER_02:Who up pondering the orb. So Matt, go ahead and do me a favor, go to ballpark two. We get an update. That was a month ago. This update is from uh, you know, a little bit sooner. This is still a month ago, but it's like a week or so later. Uh, there's a series of pictures. He says, Update. I cracked open the glass ceramic glow ball, and there is this rod-like thing inside. So it's at this point, everyone in the chat's like, uh you're dead.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, this is radium.
SPEAKER_02:Everyone in the chat's like, put in a tin can full of water, seal it, don't touch it, call the fucking cops. Chat do I have to do that? Another person. Yeah, someone's posted. This is the first time I witnessed someone compete for a Darwin award in real time. Um, but everyone's just like, oh my god, someone else said really right in front of my OSHA handbook. And uh this dude's just fucked. It turns out it's probably radioactive. Um, one comment said uh that there's a little radioactive rod there, supposed to be safe in those uh little lights, but you don't know for sure uh what you're playing with, so maybe don't play until you're certain it's safe. A little actual research is required, right? It may not be the best place. Um, and then he goes on to confirm that the ball stopped glowing immediately after he removed the glow the Oh my god. So a lot of people are like, you might be fucked. Now here's what kind of makes me laugh a little bit. Every the OP doesn't really comment too much saying if he's okay or anything like that after this. In fact, if you go to their account, somehow all their posts are removed, nothing shows up. So I think the radiation leaked onto his Reddit account and destroyed this man's Reddit account. But we I just watched in real time. I've been holding on to this one for like a month, so I've been keeping track in real time of a person probably dying of radiation sickness. And uh yeah, I just thought that was hilarious. I saw the first post. Um, what was this? Um uh let's see. Yeah, I saw I just like that. I saw a first post of a glowing rock. I'm like, yeah, that's that's probably radioactive, and then a post like a week later, and it turns out, yeah, it's probably a very radioactive. Um but I enjoy that. All the comments really make it make it peak, in my opinion. Everyone just ridiculing this man, just posting Simpson's memes of Homer with a fucking uranium rod and shit. Watch out, radioactive man. It's pretty great. Um yeah, that's what I got there. Um Moody Moody, moody moody rocking everywhere. Hold on.
SPEAKER_00:I'm doing some digging. Give me just a second.
SPEAKER_02:Oh yeah, you're looking into the radiation orb?
SPEAKER_00:Um yeah, I mean this person so the internet archive, the last archive they have of this person's profile is from July. Where the and they commented on something in July.
SPEAKER_02:Well, this the orb was from last month, so that would have been before.
SPEAKER_00:So we don't know. This yeah, this person and it's gonna take a little while, probably.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, radiation sickness doesn't go away, so he's in trouble.
SPEAKER_00:Well, even like the exposure can take a while to cause issues. This is an interesting one. We'll have to remember to come back to this one because boy am I here for.
SPEAKER_02:Update part three. Died. But uh, yeah, that's where I'm at with that.
SPEAKER_00:Um anyway, what I got, I got more scary stories. Do we want more scary stories?
SPEAKER_02:Oh, hell yeah, because my last three are scary stories too, because that'll be fun.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. I just picked like random ones, so these may be ass. I I skimmed them and was like, this looks like it might be good. So we're all experiencing this in real time. Hell yeah. Uh I'll never forget it. The day after Easter in 1972, we were off from school. To this day I have no explanation. Okay, actually, I do remember this one. We need to reel or fake this one. When I was 15, when I was 15, my older brother and I were hanging out in the yard. Our dad was a very unique person. We lived in a rural area. To our surprise, we both saw dad walking up the long driveway driveway to our house. This was around 10 in the morning. We wondered what happened as he left for work in his car around seven. My brother went inside to tell mom. We were curious. He was wearing the same clothes he wore that morning. It was him. No way it could be anyone else, and the closest houses were at least a quarter mile away. I started to walk out to meet him, and as I was maybe a hundred feet away, I called out. Next thing I knew he wasn't there. I thought he somehow fell into the culvert. Nothing. I searched, my brother came and also searched. Mom and my sister came out and we covered the area for maybe half an hour. Nothing. Mom suggested we give Dad a call at work. He answered the phone right away and Mom, in a lighthearted manner, asked him if he'd been home in the last hour. He worked as a civilian on a military post about twenty five miles away. Mom put my brother on the phone and then me. He denied that he'd been home. We again asked him when he came home and he seemed to be irked, insisted that we were mistaken, and he had no explanation. I remember about ten years later bringing this up, and he became upset and said that I was playing a mind game. I'm the only person in this account who's still alive. To this day I have no idea why my brother what my brother and I experienced. I know it was him, I know he was there, and then he wasn't. I guess it's just one of those things.
SPEAKER_02:Hmm. You know what I'm thinking?
SPEAKER_00:What?
SPEAKER_02:Dad has a secret twin brother that tried to reveal himself to the family.
SPEAKER_00:And then chickened out and was like, you know what, never mind.
SPEAKER_02:Yep, chickened out. And I don't want to meet your family. And dad is very upset. That's why I got so upset about it. He's like, I don't have a secret twin. Yeah, yeah. Or doppelganger alien. It could be doppelganger alien. I'm gonna go with I'ma go alien. Let's see, real or fake. I'm gonna go fake on this one.
SPEAKER_00:You can go fake on this one. I'm gonna go real because I think if you're gonna make up a story, you'd do better than this.
SPEAKER_02:There's more there's more believable and creative things. Go real because it sucks.
SPEAKER_00:This does remind me though, didn't we read a story about that guy who whose girlfriend came home early and was like super pissed at him and started like throwing all the shit away and stuff, and it turned out it was actually her insane twin sister, like sister who would escape from an insane asylum or something?
SPEAKER_02:Oh yeah. I vaguely recall that. Vaguely. Crazy. Jason?
SPEAKER_00:They be up there.
SPEAKER_02:Do you think real or do you think fake?
SPEAKER_00:He just said real because it sucks.
SPEAKER_01:Well, you agree? I'm in the same vein. All of the fake shit that we've ever covered has been like over the top, something worth hearing about, kind of thing. And this is just like if I heard this on my day-to-day, I don't think it would affect my life too much. Right.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, if you're gonna make up a story, you're gonna write a long-ass essay novel about how you took MDMA once and now you can't sleep.
SPEAKER_02:Tell that's uh R slash two-second horror.
SPEAKER_00:Or two sentence horror. Two sentence horror, yeah. Two sentence horror.
SPEAKER_01:I do love two sentence horror.
SPEAKER_02:Well, what a fantastic what a fantastic, scary story. Uh JC, what you got for us?
SPEAKER_01:Uh I'll give you uh another choice. We're either doing Disney Vacation or Ken M.
SPEAKER_02:Let's do Disney Vacation because I'm very curious what this Ken M is, and I want that one last because that's the one that's intriguing me most. All right.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, without looking, without looking, and I'm sure Matt's already ahead of this, so it doesn't really matter. Mike, what do you think this subreddit is about?
SPEAKER_02:Well, one would assume it's about uh, you know, pictures and posts that people take of their vacation at Disney, uh, but I'm gonna assume that's too easy. All right, so I'm gonna say it's a vacation to six flags.
SPEAKER_00:This is a fucking throwback.
SPEAKER_01:So, general information about this page says this is not about actual vacations to Disneyland or Disney World. It's for weird, terrible, terrifying, or bad illustrations from WikiHow. Um what does it have to do with Disney? I dude it it doesn't matter. You got me there. Um this is if this is just this is hilarious to me. It's people that take illustrations, and I'm sure I'm hoping everyone knows what I'm talking about. When I say like WikiHow illustrations, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:When you Google how to do anything, and it used to be that this was the first result, and it was always eight steps to do something, and then it would have like these cartoons.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like this clip art cartoons over it.
SPEAKER_00:It still exists, it's just been drowned out on Google by all the awful AI articles that have now been written about whatever thing you want to do.
SPEAKER_02:I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Really? You've never looked up anything on what you've got. I've seen one of these.
SPEAKER_00:I promise you've seen one of these.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I've seen the cartoons, but I don't I don't know like they're referenced to uh I'm seeing it. I'm just saying.
unknown:Hold on.
SPEAKER_01:I need to look at how like if you if you were to look up like how to aerate your fucking lawn, it would give you these cartoons with a step-by-step process.
SPEAKER_00:A lot of them are just stupidly simple, like eight-step processes to do something that should be like one that should basically just be like do it. Some of them are very stupid. So there's I just found a Reddit thread called What's the Dumbest WikiHow article you've ever read? And the first one is how to cook lasagna in your dishwasher.
unknown:Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That's you know, that is that's on brand for this fucking subreddit.
SPEAKER_00:This doesn't have the illustrations.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, here we go. Here's one with the illustrations. WikiHow, how to chug water safely.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. They just take they take these. Wiki how like how-to things. They take the illustrations from them, but they rebrand them. And so, like the first one that you're gonna find, it was posted three days ago. It's just a guy holding a cigarette and like smoking the cigarette. However, the caption is how to carefully swallow a cigarette. It gives you a little a little image on how to do that.
SPEAKER_00:It's basically like if you took the fucking uh like those, I don't know if you've ever flown, but the pamphlets that they put used to they put in the back the back of the seat. It's like if you took those and just mislabeled them.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, just completely rewrote them to be way funnier. Um there's another one with a dog that has like a bunch of goo coming out of its ears is how to know your dog has been hanging out with Meg and her Opal Ring Crusade Abstinence boyfriend.
SPEAKER_00:Like I I'm interrupting way too much, but on the topic of of this and those flight things, there's a famous one of these that's uh uh make sure you put the mask on your tiny husband.
SPEAKER_02:That is this uh is this where the uh uh origins of the uh lay down, try not to cry, cry. Yeah, I believe so.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think this might be like uh at least a try not to cry, cry a lot. Cry a lot. Um, but yeah, it's it's just these weird fucking illustrations, and you'll get like uh how to be a sugar mama with only a deck of playing cards. Okay, how to avoid going to sleep, and it shows a YouTube video with a shark wearing three Nike shoes, like it just makes it much MDMA, and then you'll see the shark.
SPEAKER_00:And then you'll never sleep again.
SPEAKER_01:Pretty much how to how to uh how to victory spell Papa after obliterating a bunch of 12-year-olds in Overwatch, like absolutely, and it gives you an illustration for how to make that happen, how to practice sexual intercourse, and there's an image of like a drill, a two-foot PVC pipe, ping pong balls, a scroll blue. Yeah, it's just it's it's absurd. I if you guys haven't noticed, I love absurd things, things that just break reality a little bit. This, if you're into that kind of stuff, this will give you endless entertainment. Just fucking smoke a bowl real quick or something and just go through these. How to boil your face without your kids see. That was pretty good.
SPEAKER_02:But this is somewhat uh reminiscent to me. Just because of the the I just saw the Helen Keller one.
SPEAKER_01:That's yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:This is somewhat reminiscent to me of the whole like break reality thing of that. What was it, like fifth dimension?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, fifth grow fifth world gone wild. Yeah, fifth world gone wild, that's it. I almost went back to that one because that one's just one of my favorites. It's fifth world problems. I want the guy holding fifth world problems, yeah. There's the both of them fifth world problems and fifth world gone wild. Um, there's one with a guy holding like a uh fucking roll of toilet paper over his crotch area and just says how to make your own fleshlight.
SPEAKER_00:Sorry, I think these are very funny. How to blind yourself with citrus is really good. It's just a woman with the two halves of a lemon taped over her eyeballs.
SPEAKER_01:Right. I love how to get out of a social event early, and it just shows a guy yelling fire. Perfect. Oh man, yeah. It this is stupid fun. There's not there's not a lot to really share here, so please. How to put Vienna sausages into a tire. That's important information. You better learn how to do that. Because when you're an adult, no one will do that for you.
SPEAKER_02:I preferred how to make your own fleshlight.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's very good. Classic Reddit. How to get rid of chip andor dale. This is what the internet was supposed to be. Yeah, we really goofed. Yeah. Oh, this is what the internet was supposed to be is just shit like this. This is honestly this is I think I like it so much because it reminds me of like my first interactions with the internet because it's very similar. Go ahead, Matt. What do you what are you what are you looking at right now?
SPEAKER_00:How to suck at counting body parts, and it's a woman, and it's like just a picture of a woman's feet, and then between it has an arrow that says three feet.
SPEAKER_01:What? Yeah. Oh god.
SPEAKER_00:This is right on my eye. This is exactly my brand of humor.
SPEAKER_01:Same. And that's I saw this. I spent way too long on this subreddit. Um, but I think the cherry on top for me is the fact that it's just called Disney Vacation. Like there's nothing of it. It's just you will never find this. Um, it's yeah, go go take a look. I won't ru I we're not gonna just keep quoting these pictures. Matt and I might. Um, but I think Mike might want to try to get us to move on because it's a very, very image heavy one. It's just absurd as shit. I mean, I'm here for it. Yeah, this is horrible for Spotify. Great for me. Yeah, oh yeah. No, it's that's why I'm not gonna go too much into it. I just want to introduce the world to this. So check out R slash Disney Vacation. There's nothing to fucking do with Disney at all.
SPEAKER_02:Um, I guess I'll talk about one of my favorites so far. This is on R slash Urban Myths by Emma P89. This is called the Bleeding House of La Plata. Damn it, man. Oh my god, what was that one?
SPEAKER_00:How to make use of your paralyzed son when you don't have any available coasters.
SPEAKER_01:We're never leaving the subreddit. Oh man.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, anyway, we're going into horror territory. The bleeding house of La Plata. It's in the thing if you need a mat, if you care.
SPEAKER_05:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:On the morning of November 15th, 1986, Louis Fersco and his wife, uh Sprianna, woke up to a chilling scene. Bloodstings were seeping from the floor of their home, located on 54th Street between 21st and 22nd in La Plata. What began as an unexplainable event turned into a mystery that even thirty-five years later remains unsolved. The blood stains stretched from the door of the family business photo iris to the kitchen. Following a strange path, some witnesses claim that the blood seemed to coagulate upon touch and even appeared to uh follow a route similar to one previously taken by an image of the mystic, the mystical Rose Virgin, what has been photographed in the house just days earlier, which is just this is just a ghost, just a ghost lady. Um theories about the origin of the blood quickly emerged. Some neighbors suspect a crime, while others believed that uh they were witnessing a miracle. The police investigation yielded no conclusive results, and the blood found was identified as type A positive, which did not help determine its source. The bleeding house of La Plata soon became an attraction for both the curious and the devout. For several days, the First Go family was overwhelmed by people seeking either an explanation or a miracle. The case gained such notoriety that it even inspired a tango titled La Casa Seglante, the Bleeding House. Over time, the house is demolished and replaced by an apartment building. The original protagonists of the story passed away, leaving behind an unsolved mystery. The bleeding house of La Plata remains one of those paranormal cases that still fascinates and haunts those in search of answers to the inexplicable. I just like the imagery of a house that just ran has random blood. Um I dug a little into it um outside of just the Shredder post because there wasn't much there wasn't any information in it. But um unfortunately, they're they're kind of right. There's not a whole heck of a lot going on with this. A lot of people just claim that it was a hoax made up by the family. Um other people are like, oh yeah, it was that ghost of the rose virgin thing. Um others believe that it was just like uh fucking um like a demon type of thing. Um, but all in all, yeah, there hasn't really been too much more like info on it. The apartment complex doesn't really have much uh in the route, the like the way the ways of like hauntings happening there, so they assume that whatever did haunt left when the house was demolished.
SPEAKER_00:Looks to me like OJ was there.
SPEAKER_02:It might have been it might have been uh Mexican OJ. OJ Simpsone. OJimson OJ Yimson. OJ Yimson. Um yeah, that was just a quickie. So um I got I got one more real quick I'll do because that was a quick boy. Um so this one is from R slash Summechanophobia, which is a thing I definitely have. I hate it.
SPEAKER_00:Hell yeah, I'm subbed to this.
SPEAKER_02:I hate it. Yeah. Um Doug has this. This one is uh so is no one going to mention the 24 meter deep New Mexico blue hole. At least three experienced divers drowned here. Um so there's a couple pictures attached to this as well. And it's uh it's just a big old hole. It's just a big old hole in Mexico. Um the post says, if you only look at the edges, it's a perfectly safe half meter to one meter deep pond. But if you walk three steps into the center, you will you will trip into a 24-meter deep hole. At the bottom of the hole is an iron net barrier blocking further entrance and a sign that tells people multiple uh tells people um how multiple experienced divers have drowned here and you shouldn't pass your own safety. Yeah. Um, if you go and uh under the iron net barrier somehow, it's a tight one-meter wide and one-meter high submerged cave that hasn't fully been explored yet. Um now a lot of people have gone into this saying, yeah, it's not the fact that there's anything like hugely dangerous, like obviously it's dangerous, but they're saying that a big issue with it is the fact that it is like a confined space. Right. Um and uh they said that it was um uh what was the word they used? Sorry, I'm I'm I'm looking for the comment now. Someone says something about like there was um uh because the cave complex after that. Uh yeah, so the the divers actually drowned in the massive cave complex at the bottom. The complex has never been completely explored, and I don't think all the bodies have been recovered. They have put bars across the entrance to the tunnel to prevent anyone else going down there because it's too cramped and dangerous uh to attempt again. Um they also go on to say I free dove to the bottom. It took a full day of trying and building courage, but it was so worth it, and yeah, it's fucking cold. So it's not the fact that like you know, it's anything super dangerous or like there's like a fucking gas leak down there or something. It's just that it's a cave system and it's so vast that no one has discovered the end of this cave. I've watched it's so thin that you can't really make your way back once you go too deep in.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I've watched and read a lot of like cave diving horror stories, and it's particularly dangerous because it's extremely easy to get turned around, particularly if you accidentally kick up mud, and then you just can't see, and it's really easy to go the wrong direction and have no idea where you're at.
SPEAKER_02:Yep. It's cave diving, splunking, all that shit. I will never understand anyone's fascination with that, especially because you have stories like Nutty Putty Cave, yeah, where it's like, no, this this is quite literally what I uh I I would rather jigsaw put me through a jigsaw contraption than you put me in a fucking cave where I have to where I have to like fucking wiggle and shimmy my way through or else I'm stuck.
SPEAKER_00:There are a few things that read that there are a few things that raise my blood pressure more than those videos of dudes who are like crawling through caves and their face is half submerged in water and they can't get any higher because the like the top of the cave is like right on the back of their head.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. I like cave diving once. You're fucking crazy. Every time I see one of those videos on Instagram, there's always one of the top comments, and I agree with this is the best thing about cave diving, or the best thing about um spelunking, is you don't have to. You can totally not do that.
SPEAKER_01:I I you know I will agree with that. Like I said, I did it once, and I don't think I will ever do it again. It was claustrophobic as fuck. And I'm usually not claustrophobic, and I love actual like open water diving. It's one of my favorite fucking things to do in the entire world.
SPEAKER_02:Also, I just want to give a random I just want to give a random shout out to slapping Mothman's ass. They have been posting each of these links in the chat this whole time.
SPEAKER_00:So yeah, if you got play-by-play assistance of what we're looking at. Give us 10 bucks.
SPEAKER_01:Join our Discord. Much preach Mothman. You're doing the Lord's work.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but yeah, no, no, thank you. Like, yeah, splunking, all that shit is like I already have I already have like claustrophobia, like claustrophobic tendencies. You put me in an area where like I also I can't move, breathe, and I also can't see. Just no. No, no, no, no, no. No. No, again, I'd rather a saw style contraption around my skull than going splunking. Fuck that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I'm not claustrophobic at all, really. But yeah, caving is just not fucking happening.
SPEAKER_02:It's it's not so much that I'm like claustrophobic, like like it's it's not like the small room itself. It's if I have like things touching me and I can't get it off me, that's when I have a problem. Like if I'm in too tight of a shirt or something and I can't get it off, I don't like that. But if I'm like a smaller room, I'm not gonna freak out. But if it's like a room where I'm you know lodged together and I can't move, then I'll fucking freak out. It's it's when it's it's so close it's touching me and I can't move. That's the problem. But if I'm in like a five by five room, I'm not freaking out.
SPEAKER_01:That doesn't matter. Like, have you listened to the Magnus archives yet? No.
SPEAKER_02:I don't have time for to dedicate to that. It's it's literally it's half an hour an episode. You're half an hour an episode. Got him!
SPEAKER_00:No, he's more like an hour an episode. Or if you just count the parts with Jason, he's like 15 minutes an episode.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, there you go. And if you count all the times, I have to stop talking because people are talking over me. It's like five. Moving on.
SPEAKER_02:Moving on. I have one more. I'm gonna want to wait on my one more and have you guys go.
SPEAKER_01:Hey, I'm I'm waiting for you to tell me when you want to hear all about Ken M. Let's let's hear about Kenem. Ken him, Ken, Ken Em. Ken Em. Ken Em, Ken Em, Ken Em. They're not gonna know what hit 'em. My mom's name is Ken Em. Alright. It's just R slash Ken M. It is an ode to Ken M. Um, is a subreddit dedicated to posts of a quirky old man who's known as Ken M.
SPEAKER_00:Um Man, you are really digging up some like old like internet history.
SPEAKER_01:Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00:This was this was Ken M was a Yahoo answers fucking legend.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, absolutely. Um, and that it's the there was the last post here was 15 days ago. So people are very clearly still enamored with this man. They're actually talking about who will be the spiritual successor to replace Ken M when Ken M is gone. Um, so for anybody who doesn't know, Ken M is a it's a it's a decently known handle. Um you'll see him on Facebook. Yahoo Answers was a very, very, very large part of this individual's life. Uh see a bunch of stuff. It's he's just he's fucking hilarious. And he attacks he attacks the root of society's problems. Let's just say that. Uh to give you an example of what I'm talking about. There was a post by Jimmy Dean Sausage. And Jimmy Dean. And Ken wanted to buy your boot. Ken have decided to go to the Jimmy Dean Sausage Facebook page and say, We like your pork links, but it seemed like more folks would buy your product if it was dishwasher safe. And so Jimmy Dean writes back, Ken, we're not sure what you mean by dishwasher safe. Feel free to DM us and we can try to help you further. He says, Thank you. Well, I have arthritis, so it would be better to use the dishwasher instead of scrub the links by hand before cooking. Also, more kick more kids would eat your lynx if the meat porks had toy inside.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, can I remember seeing a lot of these posts back in the day, and from what I remember of Ken M really, it seemed like mostly what he was trying to do was bait brands into responding to him.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. Oh, absolutely, I can see that. But also he does it in the best way possible, just just being nonsensical. Um, this one's one of my favorites. It's a it's uh an article, and it says Downey Dips, Sherlock Slips with a$400 million debut. Ken, he just he has to comment. He says, You're all gonna think I'm an elitist with better taste than you, but I prefer watching indie movies. Easier to focus on the dialogue/slash plot. Someone responds, and I'm sure it's the the poster or someone associated with it, saying, I don't think that at all. Many indie movies are better written, directed, and acted than these so-called big Hollywood movies. You see many popular actors starring in or producing independent movies for personal satisfaction these days. Now, obviously, someone has to take in the bait. So Ken M responds, I meant individual, not independent. Watching individual movies allows you to pay attention to every last detail. And you can't do that when you watch a bunch of movies all at once. Elitist as that might sound. Like what? Thank you, Ken. Of course, obviously. So so it's it's again, this is I guess this is my brand. It's just fine, it's highlighting the absurdity of existence in the best ways possible. Um fast food workers, two McDonald's, claim wage theft. Ken M, our hero, is here saying if companies are forced to pay overtime, it will make folks work the same hours for longer pay. And someone goes, What? He goes, a lot of folks barely have time for pay as it is. Wait, what? It's just it's so fucking funny. So again, if you're if you've got you know, if you just need like 45 minutes to kill, half an hour to kill, and you want if you want absurdity to rule your life for a minute, go check out r slash Ken M.
SPEAKER_02:How did I know? How did I know there's gonna be an image of Ken Bone on here somewhere? Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Oh here, oh this one's for you, Mike. It's on Marvel Studios page. Uh so Ken M comments just on his regular page, uh this regular page saying, Ever notice how young folks have never seen a movie that wasn't about superheroes? And so replies, no. And Ken replies, Well, I was flapping chops with my grandson, and he admitted he never saw porkies. How dare he? It's it's oh my god, it's so funny. Again, if you like the absurd, please go check it out. I'm not gonna waste any more time just reading off images to you. Um, it's I didn't know Ken had a Twitter.
SPEAKER_00:Ken M on Mountains Mountains get big because they have no natural predators.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. It's just it's it's the best kind of humor in my opinion. And that's I think this is probably it this highlights the fact that I watched Monty Python as a child because this is the exact same type of humor, like identical. So if you like some dumb dry British ass humor, go check out r slash kenum. He's been around for fucking ever. Like Matt said, he was on Yahoo Answers when that was still an actual website and not gone. Um, but yeah, go check it out. It's a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_02:I love you, Can Am.
SPEAKER_01:I think I've I have a habit of finding like things that monitor people. Like when I brought up G Sung, and we get messages. You do not remember G Sung? It's just this dude who filmed every 20 hours a day for no fucking reason. Yeah, he films without having a nap and shit. I've been there in a while. I should check him out. Is he okay?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, no, no, he was never okay, Jason. I can tell you that right now. What uh what do you got, Moot Bolumel? Jay Simpson.
SPEAKER_00:I got more fucking stories. Uh I got two, and I'll just read them back to back because the second one's real short, and I'd put it in here just because it reminds me of Doug, who's not here.
SPEAKER_02:Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Hell yeah. Is it about being a bitch? Yeah, you got it. You got it, fucking got him. Got it one. In 2011, me and my family were at Darien Lake in uh in upstate New York on a roller coaster called The Ride of Steel. On the track, on the track, there runs two trains with eight or so cars per train. They sit two people across and had lap restraints. I was on train two, which was at the station. While getting in, I looked out at the coaster and thought that I saw a falling blob just after the second major drop. I shook it off as I wear glasses and my vision is trash. Well we go around the track and stop just before the station. We are waiting and waiting. Me and my family wonder what's happening. We see the car in front of us is still occupied with riders with an empty wheelchair next to one of the cars. Now it was a packed ride with long wait lines. Every seat was full except one, and the car next to the wheelchair. After waiting about 15 minutes, they finally let everyone off but keep the train in the station. After about 15 more minutes, they send the train and we pull into the station. The ride attendants are in shock and don't talk to anyone. Later we talked to some of the waiting guests who were in line at the ride of steel to ride the ride of steel. They said that a man fell out. I witnessed the death of a guy on a roller coaster and I didn't even realize it. The guy who died was an IRAG vet double amputee who was missing one leg and most of the other. He flew out of the lap bar because he had no legs. To this day, people do not believe me when I tell this story, and my family barely believes me as I was twelve at the time. And then he links a news post of the incident, which is a daily email.
SPEAKER_02:Well, that's trauma right there.
SPEAKER_00:Yup. For sure. And then my last one is in my twenties, I used to see a man. He was always in my peripheral and never in direct line of sight. I'd see him at work or at the store while buying groceries, always public places. Every time I'd try to look at him, he'd disappear. This went on for many years to the point where I just ignored him being there. I never felt like he was bad or evil. He'd just stand there looking at me. Finally, one day I was at home getting something out of my car and I caught a glimpse of him standing in the street in front of my house. I kept him in my peripheral and I remember saying, I don't know what you want, but you're not welcome here. He was gone, and I've only seen him maybe twice since. I'm 43 now, and this freaks me out typing this.
SPEAKER_02:And this was How old was he when you first saw him in his 20s? Uh yeah. Might have just been a predator.
unknown:Predator.
SPEAKER_02:Like a child predator, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Occam's razor, Mike.
SPEAKER_02:And so you're not welcome here, and the guy's like, ah crap, you found me.
SPEAKER_00:But he was in his twenties.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, when I was 20, I looked like I was 14, so it could have been the predator's mistake. Who knows? I think it was a pedophile, so let's go predator.
SPEAKER_00:You should have just walked up and handed him ID. Wouldn't you think that the predator would have figured out when he was getting out of his car?
SPEAKER_02:Well, here's the thing with predators, they have predator vision, so they don't know.
SPEAKER_01:It's it's just two eyes face forward on the top of their head.
SPEAKER_00:I put this in here because it reminds me of Doug and his shadow people. So that's fair. If you see the shadow people because of the ring that we've now figured out, it's just mass manufactured. Um just look at don't look at them directly and just tell them to go away.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. No, I have been hearing a lot of voices recently, and like it's been kind of creepy. No, it's been like dudes' voices. Oh, yeah, it's been creepy. Especially today. I heard one that sounded like someone like ran through my kitchen. It was very creepy. But like that. No, he like said something. It sounded like he was casually having a conversation with somebody in my in my uh uh kitchen. That's very nice. Well, as we were like walking, it was weird, but it didn't sound like it was like simish, similarish, like it didn't sound like English.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, a little wobble door.
SPEAKER_02:It's freaky, yeah. I like it. Um well um I have my last one. It's extremely short because there's nothing to it. I probably should have read the other one, but I didn't, so here we are. Um so uh once again, Matt, it's in the thing. Uh this is called The Faces of Belmez. This is from uh again from R slash Urban Myths, and this is by very strange shit. The faces of Belmez, strange unexplained faces began appearing in a concrete floor of a house in Spain in 1971. They're considered to be the most important paranormal phenomenon documented in the 20th century, and they kept popping up over the course of three years, and they have the images of them. Pretty creepy, right?
SPEAKER_00:They're horrifying.
SPEAKER_02:I don't like them. They they look like they look like leather face faces. I don't like it.
SPEAKER_00:The first one looks like if you've ever played Oblivion, it looks like the gray fox.
SPEAKER_02:Now, here's the fun thing a lot of people in the sub they really love to poo-poo on things because the minute you scroll down, they're like, Man, I love when people post stupid fucking debunked shit and so on and so forth. Apparently, this was debunked pretty early uh quite a while ago, um where someone um like did an an uh an analysis of the three faces and discovered that um uh that they're like paintings, like they're painted on, and they were able to get samples of like the paint. You don't know a ghost didn't paint that you're absolutely right, dude. But there's other faces too, and we get a um uh uh a link to a wiki page that talks more about them too. Even goes on to the 90s in 1992. There's a face that was fucking reported there as well. So like I don't know, man. People are like it's a hoax, and I'm like, sure, maybe, but also maybe it's a fucking ghost. Almost assuredly. It's creepy as shit. Almost assuredly, it's a ghost. Um, but yeah, um was it uh where where'd it go? Where'd it go? Where do you go? Um hang on, I had the thing here. Uh ICV analys uh uh analysis scientific studies carried out on the Belmez face were performed by the uh Institute of Ceramics and Glass with samples from two of the faces recovered by Father J. M. Bilon's team in September 1990. The samples the samples, one 30 milligrams, the other 60 milligrams were subjected to various tests such as granulometric, mineralogical, and chemical. According to uh the institute, the results expressed in the extremely abridged form uh was that no traces, oh, no traces of paint were found at any place. Oh shit, I think that person was wrong. Uh Carbala does not mention, does not mention which faces were analyzed, nor which part of the faces correspond to each of the samples. Um, but then they have a chemical analysis of what is in it here as well. Um it is uh some parts zinc, barium, copper, chromium, phosphorus, and lead. Um okay. So maybe there wasn't paint that and I I went down a different rabbit hole. Okay, cool. I like that. That means this could potentially still be a thing, but yeah, it's just these creepy faces are popping up in this fucking house and it's spooky as shit. They got like a fucking padre to go in there and and bless the place and shit like that, but the faces kept appearing.
SPEAKER_01:It sounds like you're shilling for like a brand new upcoming uh analog horror.
SPEAKER_02:Well, you know, you say analog horror. You say analog horror. Um, no, I'm pretty sure there was like a short film made on this stuff as well. Uh on this. Oh nice. Um, yeah, uh, what is it saying? Yeah, 2014 forensic analysis, um, investigative journalism TV show Cuarto Melano. Um, carried out technical analysis to discover a possible hoax. The research was realized um by a Jose Javier Crescina, doctor in chemical engineering and general manager of Medco. Um, after extracting samples from the faces under the owner's uh permission, they presented. Proceeded to analyze them and concluded that the images weren't made with paint. And according to scientific knowledge and techniques employed by the analysis, there are no external manipulation or elements in the faces. They then attempted to reproduce similar images through the variety of methods considered valid in previous investigations, including but not limited to concrete solvents. He declared failure in his attempt to replicate the faces. So cool. It's alive and well, baby. It's alive and well. So everyone could make it happen. Science could make it happen. And everyone in the comments thread is wrong, and you should always believe that they're wrong. That's really all I got on this. Just the spooky faces popping up on the fucking wall floor and walls of this house. It's pretty creepy. It's pretty creepy looking. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. And it's gonna probably haunt me for the night. That's okay.
SPEAKER_01:Um it's like the it looks very similar to the style of this man.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's there's a book out there um called uh Los Carlos de Belmez, uh which apparently compiles the story and role of everyone implied in the fraud, from the perpetrators to the paranormal investigators and journalists profiting off it. Um I see that's the thing, is I don't find much profit in this, so I don't know if that's true or not. Because I mean, not like this is really being talked about all that much, you know. So I don't know how much I believe in that, but maybe in Spain it is.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:Maybe you're absolutely right.
SPEAKER_01:I don't read Spanish to local news, so who knows?
SPEAKER_02:Um, because here like here this is again. Um there's new faces. Um the Maria Gomez, the psychic that allegedly produced the appearances of the face. Oh, yeah, that's right. Like they had a I forgot to mention that they had a psychic go in to the house because they thought it was haunted, and the psychic was like, Show yourself ghosts, and ever since then that's when the faces started appearing. But she died in February 2004 at the age of 85. After her death, the um there's another psychic researcher named Pedro Amoros that tried to discover more appearances in the house. Um, a new wave of faces started to appear. However, um, Pedro Amoros claims to have debunked these faces um in the November of 2004 newspaper El Mundo, um uh with the article New Bemos Faces Faked by Ghostbusters and Municipal Government. In 2007, journalist Javier Cavanieles, I think that's how you say it, and investigator Francisco Mennez published a book called Los Caras de Belmes, which has the double meaning of the faces of Belmez and the scoundrels of Belmez, where they explain the history of this game. So who's to say? Up in the air, spooky stuff, yes, it is. Um I enjoy it though. I like the imagery. I like faces populating on things and such and whatnot. Um that's upsetting. It is upsetting. You're absolutely right. Um anyway. That was my last one. What do you Jason? Do you have any more? Are you done? I have a Ken M your last one.
SPEAKER_01:No, I have like I have six more. Whoa! I'm not gonna do those. No, I'm I will glance over uh here's what I'll do. I'm gonna I'm gonna give I'm gonna give two honorable mentions and I'll talk about my last very, very, very short one because I don't know how to describe it. Um so two that I found that I think deserve mentions, at least here, are R/ uh Grandpa Joe hate, which is just a bunch of people talking about all the reasons why Grandpa Joe from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a colossal piece of shit.
SPEAKER_00:Because he's a never paralyzer of whatever.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Well, no, it's he was he was until well until he decided he was gonna do something fun with his grandson, yeah. Yeah, but if he had to work, no, he's paralyzed for sure. But it's all that like it's all that, it's all about just people shitting all over Grandpa Joe. There are so many pictures that have superimposed Grandpa Joe's face over Hitler's head, like it's just there's a colossal amount of those. They go real far with it. So if you want to get into some some real weird hate, go to Grandpa Joe Hate. Um, the other mention I wanted to do is something that Kelly and I spent a better part of an hour last night looking at, and that's R slash cospenis. Yeah, and yeah, my god. My god, is that funny? There's like little leprechaun outfits for dick. There's like there's the hat.
SPEAKER_00:You found all the circa 2013 subreddits.
SPEAKER_01:I I I think this says something about me as a human. You're gonna bring up fucking space dicks or space clump too? Space clump? No, yeah, I think we've already done that. Dragons fucking trains. Yeah, I hell yes, trains fucking cars and cars fucking dragons. Yes, exactly. Um, but the one I actually do want to talk about, I don't really know how to pronounce it. And Matt, I'm gonna put this little link in Discord unless you want it somewhere else.
SPEAKER_00:Um how unprofessional of you, Jason. I I try.
SPEAKER_02:We cannot have radio silence, Jason. Don't fucking do this to me right now.
SPEAKER_01:Um, so this is uh slash tiermetalin? Cecilorin? I don't know how to pronounce German. Um, so that's pretty much just that's how you're gonna get it.
SPEAKER_00:Um I have a 93-day streak on in on German on Colingo.
SPEAKER_01:Hell yeah, brother.
SPEAKER_00:And I can't I can't help you at all.
SPEAKER_01:So this I don't know why, and I can't understand a fucking word on this subreddit. However, apparently, it's a thing in Germany to I didn't even notice at first to Photoshop furniture, like comfy armchair furniture over the ears of different animals, and this is a collection of people's best artwork when it comes to that fucking mantra. So the first thing you get is a fucking naked mole rat with chairs over his ears. Um, there's a pug with heart glasses that have some loungers on top of his head. I just like I don't I I don't get it, but I spent way too long on here looking for all the furniture ears because it made me happy. Like the rabbit loungers, yeah. That's that's great.
SPEAKER_02:Matt, why are you learning this language? Is it so you can learn how to put chairs on ears?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Why else? Exactly. The elephant one's one of my favorite, I think. But like again, this is this is such a wildly fucking out there subreddit. Like, I didn't there are 68 total weekly visitors to this. This was created in 2018. 68 total weekly visitors to this, but I spent a solid 30 minutes just scrolling through different pictures. Is it's literally just furniture on like axolotls, on monkeys, on pugs, on foxes, on this. Like it's I don't get the fascination, but I understand it. Let's just say that. So that's that's the last one I'll talk about. If you want to find a fucking weird ass to just lose your whole self in, it's German furniture on animals' ears.
SPEAKER_02:Well fuck. Matt, do you have any last last minute uh hurrahs or no? I'm out. Well well, Doug Dimadang, boys. We did it. Look at that. Two we were able to fill like two and a half hours of Reddit nonsense. What a life we live.
SPEAKER_00:The subreddit does remind me that the name for raccoons in German is waschbearer, which is wash bear.
SPEAKER_01:So wash bear.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, because they wash their food.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Oh, adorable. Wash bear. I love I love the video of the raccoon trying to wash his cotton candy and then just gets really sad.
SPEAKER_02:Someone bring that boy some more cotton candy. Well, everyone, I will say uh thank you for joining us on this fine uh Tuesday night. I hope you all had a good time. And by Tuesday night, I mean Monday, because it's Monday when you're hearing this. So what or another day? I don't know. I'm gonna shut up on that now. Thank you for joining us. Um Consume Deluty. Look us up on Deluty. Look us up on socials. Uh DeludyPod or don't look under the internet. There you go. Um send email to us dulutypod at gmail.com Matt. What do you got for people? Uh yep. Just how noises.
SPEAKER_00:A plane exploded.
SPEAKER_02:Okay plane too. Jason, what do you have?
SPEAKER_01:Um stay paranoid, stay stupid, obviously, but I mean in this stay spooky, stay stupid. Um, but yeah, fucking find a Reddit that makes no goddamn sense and see how long you can you can you can hang out there.
SPEAKER_02:Matt, I now sorry, I Matt, I now need to end off every god every episode. Every episode I need you to end with your call-off being some form of like depressing news.
SPEAKER_00:Just a current event, a current event in like five words.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:From that day.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Really date every episode. Awesome. Okay, Captain Phillips landed on the Hudson. Goodbye, everybody. All right, bye, everybody. Have a have a blessed day. May Christ be with you at all times, even in your shoes.
SPEAKER_01:Make Christ come in your shoes.
