Don't Look Under the Internet
Welcome to the internet! We told you not to look, yet here we are. If you don't know, this is a podcast about strange and mysterious internet oddities. Join Doug, Jason, Matt and Mike as they dredge the deepest, darkest, most deranged depths of the internet so you don't have to. Each episode will attempt to uncover the truth behind some of the weirdest, creepiest, and most complicated mysteries the internet has to offer.
Don't Look Under the Internet
DLUTI 222 - Lake Baikal Swimmers
Bike is short for Bichael.
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Don't look under the internet.
SPEAKER_09:Oh, I am lost in the saw. I got a uh uh uh uh uh patrons uh uh new member here.
SPEAKER_07:We gotta introduce intro first, too.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah hello everybody. Welcome to Don't Look Under the Internet. Don't tell me what to do!
SPEAKER_09:Um it's an internet horror comedy podcast featuring the likes of yours. Truly that's Jason. No, it isn't. Fuck you. You're right. I'm so sorry. That's Doug, actually. No, it isn't. Fuck Ice. Oh shit, dude. You gonna get us got, bro. No, well, maybe. And that's Matt.
SPEAKER_06:New Year New Me, baby.
SPEAKER_09:I hope you say that for every fucking episode this year. Well, he has been pretty good with doing the uh horrible news at the end of every episode.
SPEAKER_04:Five years into this podcast, and I found myself at the end of the episodes. Everything you should be having an existential crisis about.
SPEAKER_09:My catchphrase is depression. And I'm Mike, and I'm here to say you're gonna want to listen in a major way. Um sorry about that.
SPEAKER_04:Jesus Christ is my homie.
unknown:Whoop.
SPEAKER_06:Um, no, we have a slant rhyme there. That was great.
SPEAKER_09:We have we have a couple uh couple couple sweet little little snippet boys for you today. We're still kind of getting back in the groove of things. Um we're uh we've been doing a lot of updates. This is housekeeping, by the way.
SPEAKER_06:Diludy housekeeping, clap and the portion of the podcast where you don't care.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah, except this is the one where yeah, all the comments get them out of the way, skip to 13 minute or whatever. Um yeah, we've been doing we've been doing a lot of updates. We're we're starting to piece a couple things together. And um Doug and I have been actually uh working on some stuff uh during our work time, which is fun. Uh, so we're very excited. Hopefully, we can see some big updates coming within the next couple months here, uh, maybe in a couple weeks, who's to say? Uh, but yeah, it's it's it's definitely been nice having the boys back. Uh the boys are back in town, except we're not back in town. We're all in separate towns. I'm always in town.
SPEAKER_04:Boys are back in town, boys are back in town.
SPEAKER_09:Boys are back in town. Editor, uh editor, put in put in the actual song and play it for over seven seconds. As long as you can tell us who it's by. Also, play it in reverse. Play it in reverse.
SPEAKER_04:My snake Brazil.
SPEAKER_09:We're gonna dive into this one, boys and girls. Dive on in. I'm gonna dive in because today we're talking about a couple wet boys. We're talking about the motherland, if you will. We're talking about the Lake Baikal swimmers. Lake Baikel. Yeah, I don't know if it's called Lake Baikle, Baikal. I prefer Baikle because fuck it, call them Baikle, you know.
SPEAKER_06:I it is Baikal, but Baikel is is way funnier.
SPEAKER_04:Bike is short for bikle.
SPEAKER_09:It is. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I I stumbled across these guys. I talked about them very briefly on a uh Patreon episode. Um, but I wanted to get the boys in on it because Doug and I were like, we haven't talked about aliens in a while. And uh I already kind of had this one in the bag that I thought was kind of fun. Uh it's a little shorty, but it's still, I think, relatively interesting. Um I get a lot of people.
SPEAKER_04:I thought we were talking about aliens in a lake, not my penis.
SPEAKER_06:We can talk about aliens in Matt's penis. Oh, okay. Yeah, we can talk about that if you want.
SPEAKER_04:They can fit in my gigantic urethra.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah, exactly. That's where they come from. That's where they come from. That's what makes them the swimmers. Um so let's get into the like by let's get into the like bikal monsters or swimmers. By uh first, starting with the lake itself. Jason, you want to take us away? Talk about this body of water.
SPEAKER_06:I I would love to. Now Lake by Kell. I'm gonna say Baikal at least nine times though. Um is a it is actually the largest freshwater lake in the in the world, and it's located in Russia. Um, and apparently this lake has seen some fucking action. Um, we've heard stories about aliens from Roswell, we've heard of Mothman, we've heard of all sorts of these other entities. But the thing that we at least until Mike brought this to our attention, um, I hadn't really I don't know much about this. You get you did a brief bonus, but I don't this is uh this is like a real life fucking encounter. Um but sorry, back to the lake. This is just so interesting. Um the biggest so the biggest claim to fame is the fact that it is a the biggest freshwater lake in the world.
SPEAKER_04:Um however, it also has not by surface area, yes, by volume.
SPEAKER_06:So it contains the most fresh water as opposed to the largest surface area freshwater lake.
SPEAKER_09:Which I'm gonna be honest, not as much, not as much as I thought it would be, if I'm being totally candid. It's a lot, don't get me wrong. When I hear largest, I expect it to be deeper than it actually is. Uh I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_06:I mean it's a mile deep as like it's only but it's only one mile.
SPEAKER_09:That's what I'm saying. Like it's over a mile, it's by a hundred feet-ish. But Matt, you can run the length of this lake or the deepness of the that's really deep for water, though.
SPEAKER_04:It's extremely deep.
SPEAKER_09:I expected like because like when you hear deep, I think of like the Mariana Trench or something where it's like hundreds of miles deep or something. That's what in my brain triggers, you know.
SPEAKER_04:A good chunk of the ocean is not as deep as the deepest point of this lake.
SPEAKER_07:Mike, I want you to tell me make us a meme where the guy's like slapping the lake and he's like, you know how much water this thing can pull?
SPEAKER_06:Mike, I want you to tell me what you think the the the depth is where humans can survive in water. Oh, it's isn't it?
SPEAKER_09:It's like 30 feet or some shit, isn't it? It's not or it's like 160 feet.
SPEAKER_06:It's like 130 feet or something, isn't it? More than that. Uh without uh specialized suits, it's about 200 meters or 600 feet. Uh with specialized suits, the the lowest we've gone in just a human, no submersible, is about 700 meters or 2100 feet, which is about half the distance. Less than half.
SPEAKER_09:I'm just saying, like a mile puts in a perspective where, like you're saying, for water for a lake, that's deep, but like a mile to me, because we we have cars that can travel that in seconds. You know, we have uh uh we can run that in the matter of minutes. So like a mile does not seem that now fast of a front of a of a distance to me.
SPEAKER_04:So what you're saying is James King should have just bought a Ferrari and driven it straight down to the Titanic.
SPEAKER_06:Straight down it could have been so much more efficient, yeah. Mike, every I want you to picture that you're driving a car, right? And every hundred feet somebody attaches five sandbags to the back of it. Every hundred feet. That's a lot, which means the car eventually will run out of power. Think of that as like the human body.
SPEAKER_04:So many bags they'd be calling you Volvo baggins.
SPEAKER_09:Um that was a good one. Just a very good one. Off the rip, dog. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Someone's working on their type five.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:So now that we've gotten out how deep people can survive. Um, this is a very fucking deep lake. It's located in Siberia, Russia, and I'm not gonna tell you exactly where because most of the words that reference that are honestly impronounceable. I no one can do it, including myself.
SPEAKER_07:I don't, I don't, and that's that's frowned upon, I think. Um we're working on not doing that to other things as well. So it's really pretty, though. Like the the area looks beautiful from the previous.
SPEAKER_06:It looks gorgeous, like the lake itself looks incredible. Plus, it's in Russia, so when it freezes, you can see I don't know how I don't know how many feet down, but it looks it, it just looks like you're looking into a painting. It looks super cool.
SPEAKER_04:Siberia, like the entire that entire center part of Russia where nobody lives, is gorgeous.
SPEAKER_06:It's absolutely stunning. All the pictures I've ever seen from Siberia are like if you can survive the negative 60 Fahrenheit weather, you're in for some good views. Um, but so this lake, Lake Baikel, is often called the Galapagos of Russia, and for a very good reason. Um they have turtles, they actually have thousands of species of different animals and plants that can only be found in Lake Baikel. You didn't answer my turtle question, and I'm worried now. I I don't know if there are. There's a lot of fish. There's bioluminescent plankton. There are apparently angler fish. What the fuck? Um the oil fish lives there, also known as the Golomianka. Um, it's a very colorful fish. Uh the Loch Ness monster might live there, even though it might also live in Loch Ness. Moby Dick might live there. Um, there's a whole bunch of fish uh with yellow eyes, apparently. But the the one honestly, the one that is the like the uh the animal that is native to this lake is uh it's a certain type of seal. Um it's called a oh, it's either a Baikel seal or also known as the NURPA in Russia.
SPEAKER_04:I'm just imagining that seal has a vacation home.
SPEAKER_06:It's the seal is native to Lake Baikel.
SPEAKER_08:There used to be a grey flower alone on my lake. Lake Baikal.
SPEAKER_06:Uh, this is also a lake that's home to the beluga sturgeon, which produces um the very coveted uh beluga caviar, and these have been caught in the lake over the last 50 to 60 years, getting bigger and bigger because it has no natural predators. You didn't even mention the fun thing about the seal. It has no ears. The NERP has no ears.
SPEAKER_09:How does the boy ear? They're chubby as fuck and they have no ears. That's the like evolutionary thing that they're like, why did this happen? Because they just have no ears.
SPEAKER_06:You don't need to hear anything, it doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:There's no one around. Um, do they have very many natural predators?
SPEAKER_06:I mean, I I could see where if you don't have a lot of predators, maybe there is it's potential because I'm sure Jason will get into it, but there's uh um a lot of ability for giganticism in this lake, which actually leads into something known as the L Sud Khan, which translates to the water dragon master. And this is actually actually in reference to the Beluga Sturgeons, which can grow to fucking ridiculous sizes. Um they weigh like several thousand pounds, so several tons. Each one of these fish is several tons, which is insane. The only thing that comes close to that in a marine life capacity that doesn't approach like the whale, dolphin, shark, uh gnomer is the sunfish, and their claim to fame is that you can eat most of it without it dying because they're fucking stupid. Their claim to fame is stupid. It's fucking you taste bad and you're stupid.
SPEAKER_04:They have whale dolphin shark, but do they have puppy monkey baby?
SPEAKER_06:I think that's where they store that. Oh, okay. They bring it out once every like 20 years or so. That was a fever bowl every five years. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Um, but I mean that's that's I that's pretty much all I have about the actual location, the the the wildlife, the climate, the whatever about where like Lake Bike Hell is and what it's most famous for.
SPEAKER_09:That sturgeon that you're talking about is is is like a heavy folklore thing because um the Lusu Khan, yeah, the water dragon. Yeah, like you I was gonna say you mentioned it before, but there's the tale of how they think Lochness monster lives there, or there's a water dragon because a while ago there's like some fishermen that said that they saw a fucking dragon in the water, and a lot of people are like, it might have just been a big ass sturgeon. Who's the who the fucking knows? But I guess there's a lot of the uh um the water is very oxygen rich uh here, apparently. So that's oh yes, so giganticism is very prominent. So, like Jake was saying, you have these big ass sturgeon.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, yeah, and all they haven't even discovered everything that lives in this fucking lake, and the that oxygen-rich uh environment is actually helped by the cold because it does kind of uh calm down the molecules in the water, which allow for more infiltration with the oxygen, which would make sense. And if you want to find big ass fucking fish, here it is. This is a great place to do it.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah, so it's it's a very fascinating lake. I I think it's really cool. I think the the the lake itself and the history behind it is very fun. Oh, there's a lot of um folklore behind the lake, which uh maybe we'll get into later, but through all of the different periods of time, too.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, it'll be kind of fun because people are gonna think we're talking about just like mythic things in the water up until now.
SPEAKER_09:Well, yeah, let's actually let's get into let's get into what we're actually talking about here. So, Matt, do you want to tell us about a little weird thing that happened in the 80s? The wild, wild cocaine-ridden cold war eighties.
SPEAKER_04:Like Jason and Mike mentioned, there are lots of stories about this. Like there's one story in particular that be in the vein of the history channel and everything that you would expect from a podcast with four white men talking about Russian lakes, and that is I sent that video from like the quest of me, and it straight up was like an ancient aliens type of thing.
SPEAKER_09:It was so great.
SPEAKER_04:You get you get the vibe. So what we're talking about today is the the bikele swimmers. So they bike and they swim. So apparently in two around 2009, there were some rumors that started to surface of a declassified document that details something that happened in 1982. So we've already gone over this lake, this lake be deep as fuck. And since it's deep as fuck, the Russian military be sending Russian soldiers down there and throwing them in the water and using the lake for diving exercises and training. So in 1982, on one of these particular diving missions slash training missions, there were four divers who were down in the lake, and they were just doing their drills. They were a couple hundred feet down underneath the surface of the water, and while they're doing whatever their thing is that military Russian dudes do under the water, they turn around, and apparently there are these three humanoid figures that just swim up to them and just stare at them. And they were described as human-like in shape, but like nine feet tall. And they weren't wearing any real diving equipment in the way that you would expect diving equipment. Like there was no tanks, they didn't have rebreathers or like anything like that. They were just wearing these silvery reflective suits, and then something that kind of resembled a helmet, but apparently the helmet didn't like fully encapsulate their head so that it blocked out the water. It was just maybe it was just a fashion statement. Who the fuck knows?
SPEAKER_09:But kind of looked like a jellyfish, it was very weird looking.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's like a like an umbrella, yeah.
SPEAKER_09:But I wonder too, I'm curious, because with these swimmers, they're nine feet tall. Um, this is one of the only variations of like I'm not saying alien per se, but a lot of times when we talk aliens, they're usually smaller, like your grays are like three feet or something. I'm wondering if they've been down there for so long. The gigantism kicked in from the lake.
SPEAKER_04:The gigantism got them. It it's super cold, and the lake has gigantism. So if you if you stick your dick in the lake, does your dick get bigger but your testicles shrink?
SPEAKER_02:I think it just stays the same size.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. So the shrinkage and the and the giganticism are an equal and opposite reaction.
SPEAKER_09:Uh if you're one of the Baikal swimmers and you're listening, stick your dick in the lake and then record it and send it to us at dilutipod at gmail.com.
SPEAKER_06:Now wait, that actually begs the question. If they have to stick their dick in the lake and they are the swimmers, does that mean they exist while keeping their dicks outside the lake?
SPEAKER_04:What? Yeah, no, they're you're just did you're just doing a little bit.
SPEAKER_05:It's like a submarine, you know, a shitty snorkel or a periscope or something.
unknown:Cool.
SPEAKER_04:The divers just look up from where they're at.
SPEAKER_08:It's your goddamn cock away.
SPEAKER_04:It's your goddamn cock away, sir.
SPEAKER_08:Anyway.
SPEAKER_04:So these are the bikle swimmers. I know it's not bikeel, but I'm going with bicha. And apparently, after this interaction, they just kind of swam away. They didn't attack, they didn't say anything. They just they were like talking. They dipped the fuck out. And so the divers went back to the surface, and I believe this is where Doug has more information about what happened did next.
SPEAKER_07:It is. Uh, so yeah, after the aliens swam away, so swam away, and they were like, Yes, this is very normal, comrade. Anyways, the wow, the Walbert Zalberting. Um, so yeah, the the aliens, they swam away, and uh the the guys that they were just like, Alright, I guess we're gonna go back now. So the fucking Soviets, they're like, no, this ain't this ain't enough. We need you to go back, and we need you to fucking capture one of these tall bastards.
SPEAKER_09:I like how that was the first reaction was dude, we just saw like seven nine foot tall aliens, put him in captivity get the net.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, so they're like, nah, you guys gotta go back, you gotta fucking capture them. We gotta we gotta be we gotta take uh you know the fishman. And so they go back and they see these guys again, they're just chilling. Um they're kind of just like having this like stare down, they're just like looking back and forth at each other because A, if I was, you know, I wouldn't know how to capture one of these things in the water first and foremost. Like a big they're like nine feet tall guys, they're not gonna like let you come and be like, all right, you're coming with us, buddy. Um, it just doesn't work that way, you know. So as soon as someone I I don't so we don't really have proof of how this went down, but we assume that when they went to go capture one of them, this giant blast happens, and essentially they get forcibly shot up out of the water, all of the the the Soviets. So as soon as this hit them, uh they actually they actually described it that it wasn't like a weapon or explosion or a shockwave, it was more like a sudden like repelling pressure, like a pressure shot them to the the surface. They were just of like violently ejected like from their spot. So uh several divers surfaced too fast, which makes sense because they were fucking blasted up out of the water. And if anybody's familiar with diving, yeah, you get pressure sickness or the bends, and that's that can cause death. That is fatal. Um yeah, so three of the divers died from decompression sickness, and then the others were seriously uh injured, uh, which included like lung damage, neurological injuries, and long-term disabilities. Um, there's no official like release document about this, though. The story is just ears, it's you know, it's been told through different people, and it's just been being told and being told. So we have no like we have no proof of these divers coming back up and like having some sort of like military log about it, right? Um, so there's not this this is literally all just Russian military anecdotes and UFO researchers like second like citing secondhand accounts. Um, and actually one guy, uh a lecturer um a Soviet naval officer gave a lecture at one point and uh told this story essentially. Uh but yeah, I mean that's that's kind of that's kind of what happened.
SPEAKER_09:uh the the the the bikical swimmers got them they got got got got they got biked they got biked um yeah it's it's a very the odd thing is it's a very like short and sweet story like beyond that there's not a whole lot that happened to that incident there was there are multiple incidents that happened at like different times but I would say that's the major one that happened in the area uh Lake Baikal is apparently very known for like supernatural uh paranormal alien type of uh just things happening all the time there's cryptids there's aliens there's fucking skinwalker like there's everything you can imagine happening um in 1977 before the 80s uh I guess uh uh uh sighting you could call it uh interaction I don't know what you want to call it but 1977 we actually had the Soviet Academy of Sciences um they bought two subs from Canada which I think is very funny uh uh for some reason just Canadian subs in Russia is very funny to me um but the names of these subs were Pisces II and Pisces seven Canada apparently didn't want to give them Pisces one or three through six three four five six yeah they're like here's the shittiest ones we have um and they the Russians took these subs to the lake for geological surveys and studies so over a six week span they dove over 42 times into the uh the lake going as far down as 1400 meters one record shows about 1600 meters um but they they averaged around that 1400 meter length uh during one of the diving sessions that uh where the scientists were studying the lake bed um Pisces 7 while it was down there was encased in this like giant yellow glow um like it had this like light just surrounding all around it uh these scientists obviously confused started looking at the portholes to see where this light was coming from and as they looked at the portholes they saw the light started getting brighter and brighter um they looked up and they noticed that whatever was causing the light was passing right above them and then just kind of fading into the dark abyss of the lake uh they radioed with uh Pisces too they radioed with the uh Russian government asking hey is there are there any other ships subs boats anything going on in this area that we should be uh aware of because we're seeing some lights down here and no other subs or vessels were uh or expeditions were going on in this area at that time um so that's another that's a sighting that predates what was going on here um now a small theory that I'm thinking since uh Jason brought it up I don't think this is the case per se but it's possible that what they saw might have been over exaggerated a bit and they just saw possibly a bigger version of an anglerfish. It's a NERPA not a NERPA but an anglerfish maybe because they have the glowy antennas or they saw maybe a group of that uh bioluminescent uh plankton that we're talking about yeah um so that's entirely possible I feel um or it's the Baikal swimmers um there are stories of right before the diving incident in the 80s there are recorded uh recorded stories and incidents of uh six uh black disc shaped uh eye objects flying around the lake and then submerging submerging downwards there are sightings of this from the residents around the area um and they said that they can see these these black uh uh circular objects going in and out of the water with no uh what's the word I'm looking for like no slack or like no pressure on them or anything almost like the water the gravity has no effect on them like the water pressure has no effect on there they're just cutting you know how if you like try to get something out of the water it slows down rapidly because you have all that pressure from the water and you know gravity forcing it down all that shit this these uh uh black objects apparently were not affected in that way so it does not be super hydrodynamic super hydrodynamic um it does not seem that these items are of earthly creation which is fun there are a couple other sightings uh like Jason mentioned there was the lake monster uh there is there was a sighting from another diving uh boat a lot of diving uh things going on here I've noticed uh but apparently there was a diving instructor with a uh a group of I mean what else would people be out there for scenery if somebody's gonna see tourism is apparently very big in that area now but um there's a diving instructor around the lake yeah there's a diving instructor that had his his group of uh trainees with him and one day they're out there doing some diving tests and from their boat him and all the trainees are on record with the account of seeing a red light in the distance that was almost dancing on like the the the surface of the the lake uh moving in such a way that they did not think possible sort of like what you can see from like a drone nowadays but this was back in like the uh the the 90s I believe it was so this definitely wasn't a drone so something was out there making this light dancing around there are paranormal encounters as well there's uh there's just like almost every weird uh weird lake there's a uh a lady of the lake a spirit of a woman that that haunts the lake uh there are other bike of lake bichel the yeah there's the bike of like bike the rumor has it if you go out there at night you hear cling cling across the the lake imagining like a headless horseman like a headless bikeman the headless bike man and he is bikeel he's got the ball the ball yeah he's got the baseball card on the spoke and everything that's bikele that's bikeel himself you can hear Jason's laptop yeah oh good um but there are one thing I did want to note the note that is it for like the the sightings for the most part there's a there's plenty of them uh like I said there's there's plenty of ghost stories and stuff around the area mostly because there are ship crashes that happen in the area uh there is a rumor of 1600 tons of Russian gold being at the bottom of this lake uh from a train accident that occurred uh in the area as we all know gold looks exactly like giant helmetless divers yes but the it is interesting because in I believe it was like 2019 or something the the Russian uh government that does tests there they did find imagery of they don't know exactly what it is but of shiny objects on the uh the bed of the the lake but they can't retrieve it because of how soft the lake bed is they can't get a good grip on everything without crushing it so there's just shit down there it's confirmed they don't know if it's the gold but they did confirm that there is shit down there and there is a rumor that with that being down there uh that there's like the ghosts of the people on the train that haunt the gold and it's like cursed gold shit like that the there is one caveat to all this I want to say and that is the man that popularized like BaCal's swimmers. So there is this was all popular popularized by one man Dr. Alexey Tiv Tivonik Tavaneko I don't know how to pronounce last name but uh yeah thank you but he is the one who made this story as popular as it is now that sounds all fine and dandy because you hear doctor and you're like oh boy this man is kind of a he's he's he's got a a weird uh what's the word I'm looking for like grundle no grundle he's got a weird grundle uh he's he's not he's not entirely entirely reputable in the uh in the UFO uh not necessarily fake but he does make he does make a lot of claims that have found proven to be false or made up that that was something I meant to mention in my section is that all of this apparently comes from a declassified document that totally doesn't exist.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah there is no there are no records it is all just word of mouth from this one doctor so it's the crew guy and his alien x-rays yeah the yeah yeah that's the same guy that did the weird metal orb thing yeah they're all hand in hand but this is definitely the guy isn't the most credible in the field um so take this with a grain of salt obviously but is he the least credible no there's worse there's worse people out there I'm sure a grain of salt's not gonna do a lot in the largest freshwater lake in the world god damn it Matt um I do know that Doug had a little bit more that he wanted to talk about uh in general now that we're kind of wrapped up with Lake Baikal um but Doug had a little bit more information in general about usos uh USOs if you're not familiar are unidentified submerged objects um basically any craft phenomena sexy objects unidentified sexy objects um can't maybe the same anything that operates underwater that we can't explain with tech or you know science and stuff like that um they're often linked to UFOs um because many reports it involves objects that go from the water to the air um and basically they exit the water and out into space so um this is basically they call them uh transmedium travel um and it gives them this kind of like WTF like factor that people are like okay like why are they coming from the water and then going out to space or are they coming from space and going into the water and um there's lots of different examples what sounds pretty sexy to me there's a lot of different examples um there's the US uh Nimitz tic tac uh uso uh basically um a big disturbance in the ocean uh ends up like having a bunch of people like see this tic tac shaped spaceship uh end up leaving the earth afterwards um i'm not gonna go super in depth in these but um another one is the shag harbor uh incident in canada uh basically a ufidelic is you're telling me it's not sexy objects shagging object common shag the evidence is mounting that's that's all I'm saying tic tac I mean we got it all um yeah so this one the Shag Harbor incident uh UFO crashes into a water or into water and then um basically instead of it crashing it just uses the water to to escape and then leaves the water back into space so they're really fucking us on that um and then there's actually the Baltic Sea anomaly which I believe Jason mentioned uh not having the space in another episode so I won't even cover that but it looks like a shield underwater and it's this big thing and uh yeah USOs they're important people be excited about usos you think listening people have smart technology like that I hope so like a home pod like a med like a like a free med it's free med free medbed medbed media trump retweeted that in full sincerity I'm sure medbed is free medbed is free um that's that's the Lake Bikele Baikal bike swimmers bikey swimmers we're bike already the actual theory that is probably correct on this let's hear it uh so remember those Nerpa seals I was telling talking to you guys about um they like to see how long they can swim under the ice and if they don't make it they just kind of die and start floating towards the surface or get suspended in the middle of the lake about halfway down and if it is looked through the refractive lens of the ice on the top of the surface the seals actually have like this white it's like a black tummy and there's like a white ring around it if it's if it shines on it correctly it looks almost identical to what has been described here are you saying that these seals are the technology to pull out a silver device to launch people out of the w the water oh no not that I'm more talking about the the the account of seeing the swimmers themselves I like to find the whole of these hyper technologically advanced seals kind of killing the vibe Jason I know I'm so sorry guys I know what it is that's a adorable but cute dead baby seals that's what it is apparently that's the prevalent theory about where these things came from and again it's kind of impressive that there is a nationally accepted theory on a report that even by the country's own admission technically doesn't exist no I do have a because it was not done correctly.
SPEAKER_03:I do have an important question if that if the SEALs have created an advan an advanced society beneath the surface of the lake do they have nightclubs and I'm going somewhere with that do they have nightclubs because in Soviet Russia seal clubs club you holy fuck that's funny.
SPEAKER_07:Whatever this is something I was expecting out of Mike's mouth has been fucking crushing it tonight on it tonight dude you're Matt I'm here for it sounds way too anyway can you look that up on urban dictionary what getting a bicle is getting a bike getting a bike is when you have your enlarged urethra and you it's when you piss faster than you can stand up.
SPEAKER_04:Urban when your mom calls you by your full name is apparently what that means it's when you piss so hard that you can ride around on the stream there you go you're bikling.
SPEAKER_09:When you piss so hard that you get ejected from wherever you're standing like the like the bichal swimmers oh my god oh my god uh I hope you guys know less now yeah we're uh please uh time at all yeah if you're on socials you can find us on any of them as well we're either don't look under the internet or Deludy pod anywhere just look us up you can send us an email at deludypod at gmail.com uh we are looking for sponsorships so NordVmPN I'll take your money give me give me give me um no but if you want to send us a funny email yeah if you want to send us a fun email uh delootypod at gmail.com and uh usually we reply if it's not spam and uh that's really all I got I guess if you're in a lake and you're swimming with people make sure it's with a dad and you can give him a little raspberry on the lake so that's fun.
SPEAKER_06:Uh moot boot what do you got for the people uh somebody else got shot that's pretty fucked up fantastic dog what do you got honestly I said in the beginning I'll say it now fuck ice what do you got for people Jason stay paranoid there's people out there that decide they want to take you out of your house shoot you in the street don't let anyone to your house and honestly if you want to install a row of shotgun shells near your doorframe no one is telling you you can't do that that's uh don't take that dog dog talk to a talk to a lawyer first obviously yes I'm not an expert on home defense so don't take my advice don't listen to fucking Macaulay Colkin up there you should see the plans I have for my house my guy it's gonna be dangerous you're gonna end up killing yourself like a wood with a nail in it above his stairway or something wow what a what an ending to an episode yeah paranoid for that everybody but also the swimmers bicha his name is Baikal Paulson Baikal by everybody Don't look under the Internet
