Don't Look Under the Internet
Welcome to the internet! We told you not to look, yet here we are. If you don't know, this is a podcast about strange and mysterious internet oddities. Join Doug, Jason, Matt and Mike as they dredge the deepest, darkest, most deranged depths of the internet so you don't have to. Each episode will attempt to uncover the truth behind some of the weirdest, creepiest, and most complicated mysteries the internet has to offer.
Don't Look Under the Internet
DLUTI 224 - The Philip Experiment
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aka E. Gregory.
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SPEAKER_03:It happens when I poop too long, and like especially if I have my phone and I'm resting my like elbows on my legs. So eventually it like cuts circulation off.
SPEAKER_01:I thought you were gonna say you take such big fit shits that your butthole goes in.
SPEAKER_03:Just that I lose feeling in my feet.
SPEAKER_01:Cuts off circulation off. Just as a shock to my system. But anyway, welcome to Don't Look Under the East. Longest cold open in a while. Longest cold open ever. That's Doug.
unknown:Hey.
SPEAKER_01:That's Jason. Hello, hello. And I'm Kanye West. I apologized.
SPEAKER_02:Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_01:I apologize. I apologize.
SPEAKER_02:Immediately demonetized.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Obviously, Mike's not here today. I'm sure that'll disappoint someone.
SPEAKER_02:Fired. His basement's on fire. Uh uh, his sump pump is also on fire. Right.
SPEAKER_01:He's just throwing things into his sump pump and seeing if they burn. And oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I think he filled it with TLR. What if there was something like a sump pump, except instead of water, it sucked out the fire? Like a fucking airlock? Like in your house.
SPEAKER_01:So like instead of you're saying like a fire extinguisher. A fire extinguisher where instead of introducing water to the equation, you're removing the fire.
SPEAKER_03:Why haven't they thought removing oxygen? Yeah. We would never have to be able to do it.
SPEAKER_02:It also kills everyone inside.
SPEAKER_03:But at least the fire doesn't fire out.
SPEAKER_02:For that reason, just a few button, you're like, remove the oxygen.
SPEAKER_03:Your eyeballs just implode from the pressure chain.
SPEAKER_01:It just creates a vacuum inside your home. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Fire's out though.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I think it should be priced. We should go on Shark Tank and pit pitch this, is what I think. Um housekeeping this week. Uh there's nobody to shout out, but Patreon and the website and that shit. Um, we're changing the content over there. We may make some changes, more changes later in the year, but what we're doing for now is one episode a month. Everybody's gonna get that, and it's gonna be random stuff that we found on the internet or a topic for the the week that is loosely related to what we talk about. And then a second episode every month that just ten dollar people will be getting will be SCP. We're kind of bringing SEP back, but it's not gonna be audio drama like it was before. It's gonna be if you listen to our March Monsters stuff from a few years ago, it's gonna be kind of like that, except it's not gonna be like a whole tournament. Basically, the idea is each one of us is gonna pick an SCP and then come to the episode and try to explain our SCP and argue about why our SCP is obviously the best.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Show and tell, but with violence.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Because of that, the thing we might do is we may do alternate months where it's like SCP one month, and then we do the same thing with cryptids where we each pick a cryptid, because some there's just not enough to make a whole episode out of. But four maybe. Who's to say? Find give us ten dollars and find out. Oh, other thing, uh, you may have noticed for the last few weeks that the episodes have been slightly shorter. That's not because we're recording shorter topics or less stuff. The recordings have been the same length. But we've been cutting them down a little bit more, removing some of the extra bullshit and whatnot. So some people prefer just hearing the rambling and stupid shit. Um and but we've also heard from a pretty vocal set of people who have asked us to trim them down too. So let us know what you like or don't like in the Spotify comments.
SPEAKER_00:Give us feedback. Let us know what your favorite color is. I don't know. You know, just New Year, new mat. Yeah, it's all up for graphic. So speaking of cryptids, we have a cryptid sort of named Philip this week.
SPEAKER_02:Um the transition is also equally bad, so you're you're killing it.
SPEAKER_01:That was gonna be way smoother in my head. I was I was gonna have like a build-up. I was like, Cryptids are like made up things. And sometimes those things have names. And sometimes those things' names are Philip. Maybe I'll use that one.
SPEAKER_00:You got there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Uh I'll exp see, I experimented with my intro. There it is. There's the bird scooter. We're doing the Philip experiment this week. Everybody. Boys, where do we start? If not the beginning. Right?
SPEAKER_03:If not the beginning. God, you are you you're killing it, man. It's like Matt's not even here and Mike's right there.
SPEAKER_02:I pay attention.
SPEAKER_01:So it all begins in 1972 in Toronto. So Canadian place. Cold. That really has nothing to do with it at all. Um, a mathematic guy named George Owen. So this guy was a professor of mathematics and also a physiologist, I think. Um, and boy that George Owen had some interesting hobbies. Like I said, he was a mathematician and he teamed up with this guy who was a psychologist named Dr. Joel Witten. And together they came up with an idea. So a little bit of background about George Owen. He claims that early in his life he had some experiences with the paranormal because he and his mom would hear some shit in their house. And he says he had pretty much just like a passing interest in the paranormal for a long time. Until like the late 60s, and he got really fucking into it. And he decided that he was going to become the world's foremost expert on poltergeists. So he did a bunch of stuff in his free time and investigated a bunch of stuff. Um I think he went to Ireland at one point and like did some sort of poltergeist uh investigation. And he basically developed some sort of like a reputation as being an expert in his field. So he meets this psychologist named Dr. Joel Witten, and like I said, they came up with an idea. So this idea was basically to do an experiment involving a seance. So he got a bunch of people together and he tried to pick people from different backgrounds. So, like an industrial designer, a housewife, an accountant, like a college student, and a few other people that had like different backgrounds, and some of these people were skeptics and some of these people weren't. And so the idea was pretty simple. They were going to contact a person from beyond the grave, as you do in a seance. So they got all these people together and they made a plan to have these regular meetings where they'd try to contact a spirit by speaking out loud to it and like discussing details about his life, so they would like sit around the table and they would say things like, Hey, remember your girlfriend from the third grade? People don't have girlfriends in the third grade. I don't know. Eighth grade. I don't know what the kids do these days, man. Right. Um and so they they focused on one person, and this person was named Philip Ailsford.
SPEAKER_00:But here is the cat. Mr. Philip. Didn't exist.
SPEAKER_01:So the purpose of this seance was actually to basically see what would happen if you stuck a bunch of people in a room and try g had them try to contact someone from beyond the grave, knowing full well that the person they're trying to contact doesn't exist. So they made up a bunch like uh Dr. Owen and his psychologist friend made up a bunch of details about Philip's life, and had all these people like just start saying things about Philip. Um and I think Doug has some information about some of those things, about this made up Philip individual. Made up Philip, not real Philip.
SPEAKER_02:So you're probably wondering who is not real Philip? Um so basically he's the character that was created and agreed upon. Um his name was Philip Ailsford, um, and obviously they just referred to him as Philip during the test. Um his fictional history partially coincides with like actual events and places, um, but with like lots of like contradictions and errors to real history. Um he was born in 1624 in England. He had an early military career and was knighted by the age of 16, which I feel like I don't know much about how you get knighted, but it feels like you have to be doing some crazy shit at the age of 16 to get knighted. Yeah, what do you do?
SPEAKER_01:Like beat an Indian kid in chess.
SPEAKER_03:One of those two things, one of those two things, but nothing else.
SPEAKER_02:Um I guess he was also involved in the English Civil War and became personal friends with Charles the Second, uh, working for him as a spy. Um, Philip was unhappily married to a woman named Dorothea, and later filmed Unhappily Married. He went into it being real not happy about it.
SPEAKER_03:Just fucking bitter. Like, we know this is gonna suck.
SPEAKER_02:I hate this woman, but for some reason we have to get married.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like I've known more than one person who has had to have said that exact same thing.
SPEAKER_02:I feel like that explains a lot of marriages, to be fair. But I oh yeah, absolutely. Neither here nor there, I guess. But uh yeah, so uh he he was unhappily married, and then he found that uh or he fell in love with a Romani girl that was uh accused of witchcraft and ended up being burned at the stake. Um but uh in his despair because of this, he committed suicide in 1654 at the ripe old age of 30. Um so that's that's our Philip. That is that is the man poopst in which these experiments are based upon and to contact not real.
SPEAKER_03:Again, right? This is all just none of this happened. This is it. We made a building exercise to create a Philip.
SPEAKER_02:It's fiction. Never happened. Our writers made it up. I fucking love that. Um, anyways, so yeah, what happened to Well, that's a great question, Matt. Thank you for asking. Um, so basically, for like almost a year, this team sat around a table and in very true to seance fashion, they tried to have a seance, they tried to contact this guy in a very nonchalant way. I mean, when you think of a seance, you think of you know sitting around a table, holding hands, calling out, asking for you know, signs of life, stuff like that, um, very by the books, and they really had no success. There was really nothing that came to fruition when they were doing this. They just sat around and they were like, you know, had their thumbs up their butt essentially. Um after um just text me. Um, so uh basically after a couple months of that, they decided that they were going to switch up their tactic. Uh the sessions became a bit more relaxed and playful. Uh, they started joking around and singing songs, and basically they encouraged like emotional engagement for the Sands instead of uh like a scientific like detachment from it, right? So as soon as they changed up this tactic, they started to report like weird phenomena, um, table wraps, knocks. Phenomena. Um boop, boot oop, boop. Um yeah, so this is what's gonna derail us. I know, and I'm like, I really want to keep going, but I I can't.
SPEAKER_03:I know, and Matt's just poking the bear, just boop, fulfill, fulfill it, do something.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but yeah, so change of pace, they start doing all that stuff, and they start getting table wraps and knocks uh in response to questions that they're asking. The table tilts and moves, um, they're getting some forms of communication using yes and no knocks. Um, and apparently the lights were allegedly starting to flicker on and off. Now, Philip appeared to respond intelligently, answering questions about his fictional life while refusing to answer questions uh that he would never know as far as like made up Philip goes. Um and and no full body apparition was ever reported. So, one thing I want to talk about real quick is there are there's like videos of this, like full-blown, like they recorded the sessions of this experiment. And when I tell you how fucking I don't know if what the right word to use is is like silly or stupid, but one of those two descriptors is what you're going to witness when you watch those videos. Why not both?
SPEAKER_03:Um it looks the videos need the Benny Hill theme song.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it looks absolutely just the immediate vibe of it makes it look like it's a parody of the 70s from like a modern movie, you know what I mean? Like something you would see in a VHS or something.
SPEAKER_03:Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It's like I'm silly as the waiting on Rat Marshall.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, it's that kind of uh underdeveloped.
SPEAKER_02:It's it's I don't even know like how I'm trying to explain this, but basically it's what I imagine some like teenagers at a uh like a sleepover using a Ouija board are doing. Oh, yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's that's like exactly my thought process on what I was witnessing when I walk you're you're moving it, right? It's just well there's one clip, there's really one clip that got me really good, and it's where the table like turns sideways, and it's just like there's a guy at the end of the table, and you just see him like push down, right? I don't know. I'm maybe I'm just a hater, but like I I I I do like the topic, and I thought it was an interesting story, but I just thought it was really silly because they're they're all like wow, like yeah, so but uh yeah, anyways, uh Jason, what do you what do you got for us?
SPEAKER_03:Well, I mean that you would think that something like this would elicit some kind of long-term effect. Like if you were to come into an actual instance of talking with the supernatural, or especially one that you and everyone around you, literally every single person at the table and in the room knew that the thing that they were trying to contact was not real. Like, I need to I need to stress that that everybody there knew that what they were doing was a giant game of but some people were so convinced that it was real, which is like how do you start off?
SPEAKER_01:How do you start off knowing?
SPEAKER_03:And but that's I think it's that's the experiment itself is literally so, like you guys said, for the course of a year they would try different methods of contacting this made-up Philip or fictional Philip. Um and they would they sometimes wouldn't get things, and sometimes they would get a little bit of something. I think it's I literally think it's just like positive, like manifestation kind of. So everyone in the room wanted to contact this Philip. They'd spent a year trying to contact, you know what I mean? They all knew it was made up, but holy shit, how cool would it be if there was some kind of response? And then one person at the table made the response happen, and then another person there latched onto that idea saying, like, okay, cool, this is I like this, so I'll like I'll play along and try to like hype it up a little bit because otherwise everything we're doing is for nothing. Like you know what I mean? Yeah, like given those two options of make shit happen or it's a failure.
SPEAKER_01:Which I guess gets into the idea of like, does a Tulpa a thing, or can it just be this idea that you've all agreed? Idea. It's like your collective thinking of this thing brings it to reality in some way.
SPEAKER_02:Right. It's a it's a collection of mental energy, technically. So, like, uh as long as enough people mentally believe in the thing that you're talking about, regardless if it's real or fake, it doesn't really matter. The the Tulpa begins to exist, right? Like you have enough people being like, this is the thing we're doing, this is the shared mentality that we now have. And I guess if you get that many people in a room with that shared mentality, I mean, who knows? Like, we don't have a way to measure mental energy, right? Like, in the sense where you could just be like have a meter in a room and be like, wow, you guys are off the charts. Like you guys are thinking about the same shit a lot. Like, you see this Tulpa?
SPEAKER_03:Um it reminds me of string theory, like how you can't really like it, you're not gonna see it happening, but like we can measure, like you can measure the temperature of a room, right? Like if there's too if there's just some tension in a room, like you you don't even you don't have to know any context. You walk into that room and you know something's fucked up, like you know something is not right, yeah. And that kind of preys on string theory that like the smallest of emotions can affect everybody around you. And that's again, I think that weaves into tulpas, um, which are again cloud, like they're usually characterized as like a strong set of emotions, and the ones we read about and hear about are usually like negative to portray the more like horror aspect of it. But I think in urban myth, tulpas can be from like extreme sadness or extreme joy or like whatever, and it's just a it's a collective group think where everyone gets on the same page.
SPEAKER_02:The story came out, and then within months, people in real life are starting to see sightings of Slender Man and shit. It's like it's it's even like that's why I said it doesn't necessarily have to be like a um like a negative energy, it just went viral, you know, like it just it was the collective internet, like millions of people all of a sudden just know about this thing that doesn't exist, and now we have in real life sightings of something that hasn't existed before this time. Yeah, so it's just it's it's fun to think about. I like it.
SPEAKER_01:On what Jason was saying, I don't believe in God or like spirits or anything like that, really. But the one thing that seems like it could be something that hasn't really been explained or maybe can't be explained is the possibility that there is some sort of psychological wavelength that we can't detect or haven't detected that is like I'm not saying like telepathy, but like like you were saying, how you can walk into a room and just like know the vibazol. Yeah. Like is there some sort of aura or something that we put out? Like some sort of blue, like it's almost like you can decide cortisol.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's it literally it's like you recognize that someone's like their fucking hackles are up, or like their cortisol levels and their blood is spiked, or like, is that like a pheromone reaction that we can sense that we just don't detect? Yeah, something that we can do. It could be pheromones or something like that. Five Bluetooth. I love it. I feel like there's an X-rated version of that already.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I was gonna call it social, like a social contagion or something. Cause like, you know, when you like I don't know, I I think Jason can attest to this, but like remember back like five, six years ago, we'd all get together and like be in the party mode, and then like yeah, everybody's chill, and then well, no, Mike would never show up. Uh we'd all be chilling. Mike is showing up to a party. What the fuck are you talking about? Um, but like that demeanor kind of changes over the like the course of the night where like someone gets like kind of wild, and then like everybody kind of gets wild with them, and then like it's like you know, monkey see, monkey do fever. Um Yeah, and then everybody's just vibing and having a good time, and like, you know, I mean alcohol is obviously a factor in those kind of situations, but like um but still it's it feels like contagious, you know what I'm saying? Like sometimes it's not it's the opposite way. Everybody's having a good time, and in the videos for this, they're having a good good fucking time.
SPEAKER_01:Somebody.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01:They're they're passing the vibe box.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, there's it's the I mean all it's like if you're if if you're if you're part of this group think, all it takes is like let's say there's 12 people, right? All it takes is one or two people who like they enjoy the idea of being a part of this collective, even if it's just 12 people and there's no special reason to be a part of it, it's still a group that they're a part of. And if they enjoy it enough, that could also cause them to subconsciously try and like amplify any kind of effects that are happening, thus convincing more people that it is happening, and then they would also then start contributing to making it more apparent. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's mob mentality.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, exactly. That that's a better way to describe exactly what I was trying to say, I think. Mob mentality.
SPEAKER_03:You want to fit in, you want to make sure you're a part of the group.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Which I w okay, so real or fake time. Do do you think they do you think either A Philip was real in some way and they accidentally conjured him? Or B they created a Talpa. Either one of those is a true, is a is a real.
SPEAKER_02:I was gonna determine whether what true and false was, but it's it's fine. I got it. I understand.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Alright. Three, two, one.
SPEAKER_02:Talpa.
SPEAKER_01:Fake. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, whatever the talpa one is.
SPEAKER_01:Fake. I think that logic didn't work. Okay, so maybe we didn't understand. No, we didn't understand.
SPEAKER_02:I didn't. So we didn't understand. Okay, so how about we do this? All right.
SPEAKER_01:But but here's the thing, though. Method. So I don't think I don't I'm still not clear on when we say talpa, is a talpa just a thought, or is it like an actual manifestation of something that thought into existence in some degree?
SPEAKER_00:All right, here.
SPEAKER_01:I think it's got through. Okay, all right, all right. Because if you look up the definition of talpa, it's a materialized materialized being or thought form, typically in human shape, that is created through spiritual practice and intense concentration. Which means that if everybody thinks hard enough, they actually birth an entity that has some sort of physical presence.
SPEAKER_03:To me, it references literally if there's let's if again, if there's twelve people in a room and seven of those people start to get like upset about something, the other five are probably also eventually going to be upset about that something. And like if you're passionate enough about something and you convince the other people that it's around, they're all gonna start thinking that it's real, and now everyone's looking for it. And because we're humans and we're really good at finding patterns, we're gonna find those patterns that allow us to think that what we've done is actually create a real thing, which in reality is just kind of the definition of reality, so it's really just a matter of how you want to look at what that is. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_06:Shh no not at all.
SPEAKER_00:Perfect.
SPEAKER_01:Because I think so, like with a talpa. Yeah, I think like even one person can in the traditional sense of the word. I think even one person can think hard enough to make a talpa become.
SPEAKER_02:So I think by definition, Matt, this situation may be a thought form as opposed to a talpa. Because I think what you're what you want is the the physical presence of Philip.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Which we didn't get. That's not even that's not what I want. What I'm saying, really, was my original question, which is for something to actually be a Tulpa, does it have to actually take a because traditionally, yes, it actually has to take a physical form. But is the idea that collectively m people have influenced each other to the point where there's this collective idea that is having a real physical impact on the world because it's a shared experience. Is that good enough to say that that idea is a Tulpa because now it has become a real thing in the sense that like it's it's an idea that's having a real impact that's shared on the other side. But it's not necessarily the shared aspect of it so much as it is the power the power that it gains over people like Slender Man.
SPEAKER_03:It's like almost like a crazed, but that would also explain like that would also be something that you could look at when you talk about the the real-world killings that happened around Slender Man. I don't like like no one likes talking about them because they fucking suck, but like that is a like a that's literally a we know Slenderman's not real, right? But to several people at least it was right.
SPEAKER_01:And so is that enough to say that it's a tulpa? Because whether it actually is a being with its own consciousness or anything almost feels irrelevant because it's having a real effect on the world, even though even if it's not real. But but then you also have to consider that like our brains are real, right? We can we see a person, an individual's brain as a real thing. Maybe a talpa can be a collection of people that are all thinking the same as part of the entity. Yeah, you understand what I'm saying? Does that make any sense? It's as if it's turtles all the way down. Like our brain, our brains are the neurons in the Talpa's brain. Like if we're all experiencing this collective thing and we're working together on this thought, are we just a big brain that's having that's thinking for this thing? Does that make sense at all? Is what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02:I feel like there's like a third thing that we need a a vocabulary word for that fits this that we don't have yet. Like we have it's like right in the middle of thought form and tolpa, but we don't we don't know what to call it because we're we're we're the thing.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it's like the one one of your friends stops believing in Santa, right? Like when you were super young, right? And very quickly the rest of you stopped believing in Santa. Santa's a fucking toll.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, okay, but that's like a that's like an entity dying, right? Like your liver fails and you die. Technically. So that maybe that guy stopping believing in Santa was an organ failing in the Tulpa.
SPEAKER_02:But wait, so but where how does this factor in the world? Wasn't Santa like based on a real dude, though? Like, where how does that work?
SPEAKER_03:Well, okay, so King based Tulpas on real things.
SPEAKER_02:So like I mean, technically, yeah, we we this this in this instance the Tulpa is a a a fake real dude. A fake person named Philip.
SPEAKER_01:Like people are real we're not talking about Philip anymore now. This is about Santa.
SPEAKER_02:Seriously. Good old Saint Nicholas.
SPEAKER_01:Well, okay, so like maybe Philip Nicholas. See, so Santa is a Talpa where everybody who still believes in Santa Claus is a neuron or an organ in the Talpa known as Santa. And if you stop believing in Santa, you leave the organism, and that limb of the organism dies, and so you're no longer part of the organism. It's like so okay, but I think I just argued my way into a case for the existence of God, which I'm not comfortable with, so I think we should just end the episode.
SPEAKER_03:I didn't think this was gonna be the episode break.
SPEAKER_01:Because I just realized that by my own argument, God is real because all of everybody that believes in God is God.
SPEAKER_02:I I just typed in is Santa in Google first and foremost, and it auto-filled is the first thing was is a tolpa. I'm not going to I don't know if I'm gonna say this word right, but it's the basically what the Googles has told me was that Santa is often referred to as a Tulpa or an a Gregory, which is uh But his name's Chris, not Gregory a concept you're right. Um basically it is an autonomous non-physical thought form or a collective energy field created and sustained by shared beliefs, emotions, and focused attention of a group of people.
SPEAKER_01:It's an egregory. Well, this phenomenon is known as an episode.
SPEAKER_02:This is great concept, egg. We don't know. I just yeah, I just also listened to Egregor. Egregory. I like that better. Wow. Okay, but that I feel like that word is exactly like what we were looking for as far as like what happened. It's an e Gregory, it's an e Gregory.
SPEAKER_01:Like an e-girl, but specifically for dude, Gregory. Okay, so real or fake. So do we have anything else?
SPEAKER_03:E. Gregory. Do we have anything else? I think we've devolved. We're talking about Santa being the Tulpa at this point. I don't I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:I wanted to talk about one last thing because we haven't even talked about the whole point of the experiment for the most part. Oh, yeah. Right.
SPEAKER_01:You're not really what would happen if you put a bunch of people in a room and tried to contact the thing that didn't exist.
SPEAKER_02:My thought, my my question to you two is does this A prove anything about ghosts? Because they were trying to do a seance, or just being able to talk to energies and spirits, or B, do we think that those people like were lying, or do we think that they actually believed that they were hearing and seeing the things that they were they were like that were happening?
SPEAKER_01:I think people are really impressionable, and I think a significant chunk of the people actually believed what they were experiencing, even though I don't think it was real.
SPEAKER_03:But especially if several people brought it up and they would then look dumb for counteracting the group like as a as a whole. Yeah, some people are definitely like you could set them down.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. It's like there's nothing.
SPEAKER_03:What was the experiment? Some dude walked into an elevator, a bunch of like people that were paid were in there, and they all turned around to face the opposite direction, and pretty much every single person would follow suit, even if it made no sense to like face the fucking wall of the elevator. They still did it.
SPEAKER_01:You also gotta consider that it was just super impressionable. You also gotta consider that this is 1972, and like so people. I feel like the likelihood of people being influenced to this degree in this type of setting in 1972 is a lot higher than today. I think because today we're constantly exposed to people who do fake shit like this and have like a historical record of people doing this type of fake shit, people are a lot less likely to be influenced by this type of thing. In 1972, this is probably fucking crazy, dude.
SPEAKER_02:Oh yeah. I feel like this would have been crazy. To be quite honest.
SPEAKER_01:Anyway, uh this episode's over, so you should go you should go touch grass. Yeah, we have to announce it. It's time to go. Right, yeah. Uh Doug, is there anything you want to say?
SPEAKER_02:This is a shorty but a g no, this is a shorty but a goodie. And by that I mean slap your peans and your beans together. I forgot I had to do a sign-off. Um actually, think just think about slapping your peans and your beans together. And then have someone else do it, and then have s another person do it, and then a couple more people do it, and then maybe you might feel some beans on your beans without actually having to, you know, pull them out in public.
SPEAKER_01:I'll put dick. Uh Jason, what do you get?
SPEAKER_03:Stay paranoid. If somebody thinks about your dick too much, it might turn into a negatively charged emotional dick that dissociates from your body and haunts a family forever.
SPEAKER_01:Can I pick what family?
SPEAKER_02:Can we can we do one last thing?
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Oh no.
SPEAKER_02:Can we make a Tolpa right now? And hope that our all 20 of our listeners will bring this thing into existence. We don't know if Mike's gonna hear this episode, so for all of you listening, we'll describe this thing real quick to get the you know the needed details. But um, everybody listening, you when you go to bed tonight, make sure you think about it so that while Mike's in his home, this thing haunts the fuck out of him. Okay, thank you.
SPEAKER_03:It it looks like a slimy version of one of those little clown things that you throw balls at at carnivals, little fuzzy clown cutouts. I like that. I like that. Okay, I like that.
SPEAKER_02:I forget what those are called. I think they're called punks or something, but yes, I know exactly what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_01:I don't I don't know what you're talking about, so I don't know if this is a very effective.
SPEAKER_02:You like show the ball, and it's like a row of clowns and like fuzzy clowns, they look like bowling pins, right?
SPEAKER_03:Oh yeah, I know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_02:Cool, okay, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_03:Um that's what Mike's told. That's what that's the tall, but that's the just the physical description, is something something like that, is what I feel anyway.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Uh how do we work in the crunch wrap supreme part of it?
SPEAKER_01:Uh, the crunch wrap part though.
SPEAKER_02:And is he holding crunch wrap supremes? Is he like in between the crunch wrap?
SPEAKER_03:I hope in the future every one of our listeners, anytime they have a crunch wrap supreme, will have chip big chungus rap supreme in their mind's eye to just be terrified because I'm just I the thing that I'm thinking of right now is not a good thing. It's not uh it's not a fun entity.
SPEAKER_01:I'm kind of thinking, I'm kind of thinking that it is one of these things, like one of these faces, but it it's like attached to a very large slimy crunch wrap supper is what I'm thinking. And then it just like slides across the floor, like in its a trail of its own nacho cheese.
SPEAKER_02:It's like kind of shitting out like a little bit of lettuce and cheese when it walks.
SPEAKER_03:Right, exactly.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Just kind of shitting out it. Just a little shit. A little bit. Just a little trail, right?
SPEAKER_02:It's that like little bit that falls out when you're like trying to like take it out of the wrapper and you're like, son of a bitch, like just yeah, Mike's just perpetually finding that in his house. Yeah, that's the horror, the true horror.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:If we if we start hearing about an overabundance of like rotten lettuce found behind like floorboards and shit. Anyway, this episode is done, right? This is so wildly over, it's not even fucking funny.
SPEAKER_00:We're done. Okay. All right, we're out of here.
