DLUTI 235 - Greensboro DNR

We cap off Analog Horror Month with a bit of levity this week. It's time to take in some nature with Greensboro DNR.

Transcript

Cold Open And Introductions

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Don't look under the internet.

SPEAKER_05 0:28

Welcome to Deludio World of Tomorrow.

SPEAKER_06 0:34

To Don't Look Under the Internet. I'm hang on. I gotta go more Vincent Price with it. You got this. Hello, and welcome to Don't Look Under the Internet. I am I am Vincent Price. And I am here with my three guests.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Jason.

SPEAKER_08 0:55

I'm a guest.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

I think maybe you should try it differently.

SPEAKER_03 1:03

Why am I in trouble?

SPEAKER_05 1:05

That's Jason. I dish the Vincent Price voice.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

My foreskin is way too long. Okay, that's fine. Somehow that's better. That's not a fan. Okay, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

Yeah, no, it's me. I'm not even sure how to follow that up at all.

SPEAKER_05 1:23

And that's Nat.

SPEAKER_06 1:49

And I'm Mike. Welcome. Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of this, where we cover that. And also them. Um today on I think Jason Froze. We got quite the topic for you. We got quite the topic for you.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

He said no. I heard no, I'm here, and then his and then his video went.

SPEAKER_05 2:19

Starting us off with a little dily.

SPEAKER_06 2:21

House to the keys. Above your head. Um merch updates that I forgot to bring up last time. First and foremost, we're in it again. If people like the Holf shirt, dude, I yes, I love that. Let me know. Let us know. Comment or send us emails saying I want Holf.

SPEAKER_04 2:42

We want Holth. We want Hulf.

Why Greensboro DNR Matters

SPEAKER_06 2:45

Uh hashtag Holth. And uh if we if you guys end up liking it, then yeah, we'll make it a piece of merch. Um, buy one right now. There you go. Speaking of merch, though, uh again, we're getting closer and closer to our art piece being done. Hopefully, by the time this comes out, it will be done because this will be like three weeks from now, so we'll see what happens. Uh but yeah, get what you want because some things won't be there soon. This is gonna be a weird episode. Uh, so boys, that concludes housekeeping. You know, Smoky the Bear once said only you can prevent forest fires. I don't think that works in this situation, but there is another bear that I want to bring into the topic here. And his name is Boro. Boro. Where can you find Boro? Well, you can find him over in Greensboro.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

I just figured out why his name is Boro. Oh, you sweet, you sweet baby.

SPEAKER_05 3:44

That took me way too long to figure out why his name is Boro.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

That's okay.

SPEAKER_06 3:48

Yeah. Uh anyway, so we're talking about a little place called Greensboro today. Uh, specifically their Department of Natural Resources. We're talking about Greensboro DNR today. The DNR, the do not resuscitate.

unknown 4:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 4:05

Um, this is a very I we'll get into it more. I'm so excited for this, but we'll see.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

I enjoyed most of this.

SPEAKER_06 4:17

Yes, but where do we start with these videos and whatnot that we find on YouTube? It's not the beginning.

Tape 1 The Buddy System

SPEAKER_03 4:23

We start with tape one without a jump of seven tapes in between. I'm sure the second tape is definitely tape two, right? No, yeah, it's definitely tape two, not tape eight. Um, but no, Mike is right. Let's start at the beginning. Let's make sure we all understand what we're getting into. Um, so obviously, if you're clicking on these links, you know what the Greensboro National Park uh services are, you know where they are, you know what to expect, right? We're all on the same page there. Yeah, yeah. Great. So just in case we're not, there is this fantastic handy-dandy video that goes over the Greensboro National Park orientation for National Park Service workers. So if you are one of the lucky few to get a job at the Greensboro National Park as a park rancher, this is what you'll see. Um starts off just like any old 90s VHS video would. Um so we're gonna go ahead and look at the buddy system. So this is where our story starts again with the Greensboro National Park Service buddy system orientation video. Now, the first thing we're gonna see is two current park rangers for the Greensboro uh National Park Service are talking to you about lesson one. Always have a buddy. Now, as you go through this video, you're gonna notice there are some clamation-esque bears uh that are be gonna be appearing on the bottom, dancing around, highlighting the fact that you should always have a buddy. The reason they want you to have a buddy is because 76.3% of people who end up having a buddy and going on patrol end up surviving. Yes, surviving, coming out alive. I feel like a what what is that? 23.7% chance of death. That's I don't know. That's significant, but they don't say that here. They just tell you buddy system success rate 76.3%. You're good, you're fine. Just get a buddy, make sure you have a buddy. Um, as you put your trust in your buddy, you're also gonna want to make sure that you have a uh a recognizable understanding of your surroundings, of your area, of where you're supposed to patrol. Um now, one of the things that you're gonna you're gonna see throughout the entirety of this video series is something called PRS. Now what what does that stand for? That might stand for uh PNL reduction system. That's better than what I was gonna say for fucking sure. Um no, the the uh the PRS is actually a uh an acronym. Fuck, what does it stand for? Also, why can't we?

SPEAKER_02 7:40

Penile reduction system.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

It's you know what, yeah, we're just gonna go with that. It's just penile reduction system. Um no, the the overall the overarching message of this video is you need to have somebody somewhere that knows where you're going. Could that be for surveillance purposes? Maybe. Could that be for safety services? That's what they say. Um but honestly, that's the entirety of this little video. They do go over how you may see some weird things you might experience and hear some weird things. Oh, they also tell you that uh there is a uh a Greensboro DNR's PRS question world record holder. Now, in reference to PRS, we are talking about people that are prying into Greensboro DNR's private affairs. You are the number one defense agent against that. So if anyone comes up to you and decides to try asking you about different aspects of your life here at Greensboro DNR, um you are to just deflect as much as humanly possible. The so the question the PRS question world record holder has asked a grand total of almost 3700 questions in one setting. And this is all to be these are questions to deflect.

SPEAKER_06 9:14

PRS is a personal response sheet.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

Personal response sheet, thank you. I knew it was some I knew it was a uh not a sheet, but like um uh a script, more or less, because one of the first things that you are going to get when you join the Greensboro DNR is a response sheet, and that's gonna help you determine what the best response to different questions might be, especially depending about the weird happenings that happen around Greensboro. Um so they're gonna go through the different they go through different types of appropriate questions, um, who might look suspicious, who you should question, um, and eventually they get down to a uh it's almost like it's it's an example of what this might look like. And it shows one park ranger interviewing another asking random questions, and as they go through it, uh it's almost like the person giving the responses doesn't quite know the answer until eventually both of them just freeze the fuck up. There's a bunch of glitches that happen, and it's just they just stare at each other for uh literally sorry, 28 seconds total. There's different shots of these two individuals staring at each other and just nothing happening. So obviously something has happened, we just don't know what it is. Um but as long as we take away the fact that the buddy system is an infallible part of safety when it comes to the Greensboro DNR safety training video, we're good. We got this.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Also, don't talk about Greensboro DNR. I feel like I learned that.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Yeah, no, God dog, don't ever say those words out loud unless you're licensed by or hired by the actual company.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Right. Rule one of Greensboro DNR is don't talk about Greensboro DNR.

SPEAKER_03 11:15

Don't talk about, don't talk about absolutely. Um, but yeah, that's the end of this video. We get some static at the end, but otherwise, it's just a very simple buddy system training tape.

SPEAKER_06 11:25

It's you have to to put in context what you're getting into as well. Not only is it a training tape, but they let you know that this is like tape one out of 48 that you need to watch in order to get through the training program. And they're all they're pretty fucking funny. Like, I can't emphasize enough without you actually watching it. I recommend, like we always do, watch through it and then get back to this so you have the context. Because they have a bunch of little subtle jokes in all these that are pretty great. Um and they also comedy and analog horror.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

Yeah, it's yeah, the this isn't this just is an analog comedy, I think. Yeah, yeah, which is what I've been asking for, so I'm here for it.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

Yeah, yep. And I will note this is Tucker and Dale versus analog horror. This is that's what this is.

SPEAKER_06 12:11

The lore here is that the uploader uh found these tapes, and there's a playlist that has them in the order that they found the tapes, so it's not necessarily chronological, but it's the order in which they were found, and you're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

And that's also why you that's why you're gonna see when you see these tapes being like tape one, tape eight, tape twelve. Like it's not you're not gonna find tape one, tape two, tape three type thing. Just watch the playlist like it says.

SPEAKER_06 12:38

Yep. Anyway, with that in mind, all of you, Jay Simpson.

Tape 8 Benefits With Red Flags

SPEAKER_02 12:43

Yes, so we move on from tape number one to tape number eight. So tape number. Yeah, so tape number eight in your orientation as a Greensboro DNR employee is all about benefits and compensation. So we're gonna be talked to today from uh by the same two chaps from the first video. They're gonna explain our compensation and benefits. So honestly, first of all, right off the bat, they let us know that it's really preferred that you don't have any family or be pregnant while you're under employment at Greensboro DNR. Also, your employment's at will, which means you can leave at any time, but also you can be fired at any time for any reason, any infraction, no matter how big or small. Compensation starts out at sixty-five thousand dollars a year for someone with absolutely no experience, which first of all, where do I sign up? And yeah, and get that$1,000 sign up bonus, and a$1,000 sign-on bonus. Yep. 40 days on paid vacation. Just don't leave under any of the months that they list. And the months that they list is every month but December. So 40 days as many days, but fit all those 40 days into December, please. Um, also, though, check in daily and don't leave the state during your vacation. There's no health insurance, which they pride themselves on, because they rely on each other instead. And they do have a complimentary nurse that you can visit whenever you want, as long as it's December. As long as it's the time known as here. Free medical evaluations in December. Also, they I think the nurse may be year-round, but you do have to pay for them, but significantly reduced costs. Uh, they don't cover funerals, though, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

And yeah, well, why would you need that?

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Yep. Um, oh I don't think you would because the video ends with when you're here, your family. Your family. And then and then another awkward pause that lasts for 19 seconds.

SPEAKER_06 14:51

I don't remember if it's in this episode or a future one, but they mention like um they mentioned the the PTO again later, and they're in in something they're just like, oh yeah, like it's it's really good that you get the 40 days off, but you remember you can't take off holidays, so it's like even cuts your December off even more.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

Right. So so there's three weeks of December that you can actually use for 40 days of vacation.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

You got 15 days where you can use 40 of them. Yeah, yeah.

Tape 4 The Fanny Pack Infomercial

SPEAKER_06 15:18

Uh the next is tape four. As you can see, this goes all over the place. Is this basically this is basically an infomercial to sell you a Greensboro fanny pack? Now, this fanny pack has over 1,000 unique features, including it being designed to have comfort when running or sprinting, or struggling, it it plays off like an old 90s infomercial and it says like running, sprinting, and then it like glitches out a little staticky, and then you see like struggling, like faded right underneath it. It's like, hold on a second. Now you want this, right? Well, boy, do we have an offer for you? It usually sells for$39.99, but for a limited time offer, you can get it for two small payments of$19.99. What a steal! Order now, and you'll get a compass. Now, you're probably just to give you an idea of some other things you might need. Behind dismemberment, dehydration is the leading cause of death in Greensboro. Apparently, dehydration here is very bad. It can even cause hallucinations, but don't worry, get your fanny pack now, and you can get a water bottle for only one extra payment of$19.99. Plus, we'll throw in another free compass. Now, did you guys know that 70% of the forest is trees? Well, it doesn't have to be. You can buy this hatchet or not, because it's free. You get everything for only four payments of$49.99, plus you'll get four more compasses and a compound bow for only five payments of$49.99. What a deal. What an absolute steal of a deal. Now, these guys are also nice enough to know hey, we know that some people don't have the money for this up front, and that's fine. They'll also loan you the fanny pack with just a subtle amount of interest attached to it. So that's also good. That's what that's how this goes. This is easily my favorite video of anything I've watched in a very long time.

SPEAKER_02 17:30

The interest the amount of interest, it does say at the end, interest will be determined in private.

Tape 31 Halloween Onslaught

SPEAKER_04 17:40

Perfect. Moving on to the next video, though. So the next video is tape 31. Um, and the description for this one actually says, This tape took forever to find. The first 10 tapes were just in a box in the basement, but I fell through the floorboards and found a second basement. There was a box full of tapes. Yo, I have enough. I heard you like tapes. I don't like either. Uh, I have enough videos for my entire career as a social media manager. There's a bunch of other stuff down here too, but I don't really care. So um, so this one is actually, I guess, titled Halloween. Um, and it's basically uh their tape on how to deal with Halloween. So they start out, and it the guy's just like, Halloween has been a disaster for the human race. And his the other guy's like, Well, my associate here means to say is things are a little different around here on Halloween. Um I love their fucking back and forths, man. It's so good. Yeah, they're pretty goofy. Um, so he goes on to say, while the kids are having fun, uh the DNR is forced to suffer. Um, and then he's about to like say something and it starts to kind of like glitch out, uh, and it flashes over to this like uh like top-down video of a helicopter, and the guy's just like, Yeah, we got a fucking visual on the headless horseman. He's uh heading near the west entrance, and like it's he's just like this guy like fucking sprinting on the ground. Um, and then it cuts back to the two guys doing their thing, and uh he says, basically, there's 12 hours of Halloween onslaught that spawns in the woods, and no one will stop their festivities. And uh then it cuts over to GBTV, uh, where you see uh pretty much it's just like a news, little little news report, and they're talking about how everybody plans well in advance for the festival, uh, even selling all the costumes out in the town two weeks in advance. Um and it's gonna be taking place on Main Street at 6 p.m., the Greens Boo Festival. And uh basically they uh this little news report has a special interview with a DNR whistleblower who claims that something sinister appears in the woods overnight. Um and then we cut back to the two guys, and they're like, We have new ideas and strategies every year. Um, we had to hire a costume scouter, and basically goes into this guy who actually you find out is the the whistleblower from the like little screenshot from before, and it says it was a lot easier to deal with the costumes in the 70s and 80s. Now there's tons of new costumes. We're expecting at least nine Freddy Kruegers this year.

SPEAKER_06 20:36

Um yeah, I do like how they're they're like, oh, we used to only have to deal with little things like Frankenstein's or ghosts, but with the 70s horror boom, now we have Freddie Kruegers and Jason Voorhees's. It's pretty great.

SPEAKER_04 20:49

Yeah, it's it's pretty funny. Um, and it doesn't really tell you like what they're dealing with exactly yet, so it's kind of left to you know, left up to your imagination. Um, but uh it cuts back to the two guys, and he's like, conventional weapons just wouldn't work. Um, and then he goes into a story about a man named James McCoy and how on Halloween in 1882, which seems way too far back, but uh he was enjoying licorice when he was confronted by a sheet ghost, who then he shot with a shotgun and he absorbed the bullet. Uh, then the sheet ghost absorbed Roy and the licorice, which the licorice happened to destroy the ghost. Now they know that candy is their biggest weakness. What that is, still not really clear. What that is. Um basically they go on to explain that this is why they invented candy corn. It wasn't for a sweet treat, but it was used to fight these things off. And uh basically it it just reminds me of a sheerest form of sugar, yeah. And then uh they remind you collect your candy corn related ammunitions after the video. Um, and then he says, Happy Halloween, and then it like cuts to this like frantic person, uh like body cam, like scrambling to pick up candy corn off the ground like he fucking dropped his bullets, and then in the background you just hear this like screaming and like horrific yelling, and like he's clearly in the forest, and it's like dark out. Um, and then uh the video just cuts off, and that's uh the end of that tape.

Tape 9 Boro And Bear Levels

SPEAKER_06 22:37

Fantastic stuff. I am gonna talk about it's a very fun video. I'm gonna talk about a couple videos here because as I was going about my day doing research and whatnot, I stumbled across a couple other videos that I think makes sense to talk about. So I'm gonna talk about a couple videos in a row here, real fast. Uh first okay, first and foremost, um, we go to tape nine, and the uploader says that he was sent this tape. He's also tired of the parasocial relationships that are happening. Um, so stop, stop being weird, you sillies. But other than that, we're introduced to Borough the Bear. Greenboro's a forest mascot. Bears are apparently a huge problem in Greensboro. Uh, there are two different types of bears as well. You have bears and bears. Does that make things up a little bit? Are they like one is an animal, the other can mean other things or animals? Don't worry, it sounds confusing, but don't worry. They have a bear hierarchy like chart to help even the most simple-minded officer.

SPEAKER_04 23:44

So we have starts a club in town that has a bear hierarchy, too.

SPEAKER_06 23:48

So uh tape nine starts off with the uploader uh saying that he was sent this tape, he didn't find it. He also says he's tired of the parasocial relationships that are happening to him. But other than that, we're introduced to Boro the Bear, Greensboro's forest mascot. Now, bears are apparently a very big problem in Greensboro. Uh there's two different types of bears that they have here. There are bears, animal, and bears, which could be other things like other animals. But don't worry, we have a bear hierarchy chart to help even the most simple-minded officer understand. Bear level one, we have panda bear. Now, these are your peaceful animals like pandas, squirrels, frogs, etc. Uh, we find out that eating level one bears is pretty okay. Uh, you just gotta cook them right, that's all. Raw meat consumption is the leading cause of parasite parasite assimilation in officers. Fun fact for you there. We have bear level two, black bear. Now, these animals will fight back if threatened, but they're usually pretty docile. You have things like black bears, you have wolves, you have mountain lions, you have meese, you know, things of that nature. Any injuries from a black bear threat lead uh leads to your nursing privileges being revoked. You just cannot be a nurse anymore if you get injured by a black bear. Because if you get injured by a black bear, I'm not gonna have that type of weakness on my team, and you're you're out straight up, you're out. Now, how do you avoid becoming a statistic, you might ask? Matt, ask me real quick.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

How do you avoid becoming a statistic?

SPEAKER_06 25:32

So we have a graph here, and it shows a spike in bear attacks from 1934 to 1944, and it peaks roughly around 1940. Now, did that answer your question? Sure. Maybe this will too. Crystal clear. So it did. So you're gonna want to avoid these areas specifically. Yeah, pits, you got rapids, you got mines like the mines of Moria. Stumps, yeah. And rifts. You want to avoid those things. Bear level three. Go, go, go, grizzly! Fucking uh uh uh didn't have a joke, I lost it. Most creatures in this list are not mammals. You have the choice here to either fight or die. But don't worry, you only come across these creatures during a search and rescue or search and recovery mission. The host says that wherever you find a grizzly, you can run into the redacted thing. Everything gets all static y, and one and the other host goes, ha ha, but we'll talk about that some other time. Uh so the static takes over again, and the other host just kind of gets us back on topic. Uh, we then cut to a Kent Brockman Simpsons ass segment that looks just like the eye in the spye on Springfield segment from The Simpsons. Uh, it's a news segment called Greensboro Perspective. And the guy that is hosting this mentions that two months ago a video went viral around Greensboro. Now, viewer discretion is advised on this video and they play it. This is a video of people hung from trees. Uh, and the person that is recording this hanging, you hear them uh you hear them asking themselves, what do those symbols mean? And it just cuts out. Now, we don't see any symbols, curiously enough, but good news. We have Officer Ryan here being interviewed. He is the responding supervisor uh on the day of the incident. Now he's here to ease our minds on this issue that's happening. Uh, when asked what is causing these missing persons' cases, Ryan says that these are bear attacks. Simple enough. He is an expert on bears after all, and this is standard behavior. I hate you so much. When commenting on questions about bears hibernating, Ryan says, Well, you gotta consider polar bears too, man. Polar bears don't hibernate. He then goes on tangents about bears, about how they're the apex killers, they eat 20 times their body weight, and they live four times longer than a human. They also have 360-degree view, a 50 mile per hour punch, and have water walking. They also are skilled in uh uh armed combat, so be careful with that. And then we get our level fours, which is polar bears.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

This is what they meant by the second amendment, right?

SPEAKER_06 28:38

I think so. The right to polar bear arms.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_06 28:41

Um, yeah. So these are otherworldly beings. You do not want to engage these, but if you see one, you try and get a picture, you'll be heavily rewarded for it. Um as our two, I guess, uh, as our two like video hosts here uh end their their bit, you hear cut from the cameraman, and they walk off scene, and someone comes up to like adjust the camera and take it off, but the camera's still rolling. We then pick up conversations from the hosts um that they're talking to some other person, it seems like a producer or something, and they're uh the hosts are concerned because uh they are being asked to have rookies go after level four bears, and they think it's a bad idea. Um, and they don't want this to happen, but that's just what's happening now. It's a new initiative from admin, the guy says. Um, the person they're talking to does not seem to care about how bad of an idea it is to send rookies after level four polar bears, and we just cut, and that's the video.

SPEAKER_02 29:49

Tape 10. Um, it's called media training, and it teaches you all about how to deal with the media. Um this is 14 minutes long, it's fairly easy to sum up. Basically, the gist of it is be extremely rude to the media, don't answer any questions, and try to make them go away. If you can't make them go away, resort to things like changing your name, even don a mustache if you have to, so they don't know who you are. Um remember if they believe you, it's not a lie. If everything that you have tried up to a certain point, including trying to change your identity and lie to them and just be rude to them to make them go away, doesn't work, they do have an option that they call the final solution.

unknown 30:40

Oh good.

SPEAKER_02 30:41

Oh good.

SPEAKER_06 30:41

So it is more Nazis, right?

SPEAKER_02 30:43

Exactly. Uh, the final solution involves um remembering again, again, it's repeatedly told it it's repeatedly brought up that if people believe you, it's not a lie. Now they tell you not to do anything illegal, but what you should do is remember that a reporter's career is built on their reputation. So let's destroy their life. There you go. And to do that, the DNR has untraceable landlines with voice changers that are ready at your disposal. And um plausibility, plausible deniability are your favorite words, by the way. So do things like maybe tell everybody that the reporters got aggressive with an old person in the park. And remember, if everyone believes you, it's not a lie. Now, if that doesn't work and you can't successfully destroy the reporter's life, just do a B. So just show up to their house, um, see if you hear someone yelling for help inside, which gives you cause to maybe lockpick their front door, maybe find a rock and bust through a window to try to make sure that everybody's safe on the inside. And make sure once you've broken into their house that they know about it, and that they know that you're that's what you want to do in a B and E is announce that you're there. But just make sure that they know that you're there to make sure that everybody's okay, and that you'll be coming around just to check in.

SPEAKER_06 32:17

Oh, like what cops do.

SPEAKER_02 32:19

Right, right. And so once they know that you're just there to make sure everybody's safe, maybe come back later and stand in their yard with ski masks on and just look at their house just to make sure they feel safe. It's the implication. It's the implication. You're not doing anything illegal.

SPEAKER_06 32:37

Yeah, you're not threatening. This kind of stuff is referenced a little bit in the uh body cam one. They're going through an orientation, and the teacher that's given the orientation is like, you always want to keep this body cam on, but there's sometimes when you do want to turn it off. Turn off anytime you're talking to reporters. We don't need them having anything on us. It's like, well, what? Bang on button.

unknown 32:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:56

Um, and remember, the press is the bane of our existence. And that's all the media training I think anybody needs, really.

Tape 3 Water Safety And Screams

Tape 7 Search And Recover Rules

SPEAKER_06 33:03

Well, Doug Dimba dang dumb a dom dumb. I found a couple extra tapes. We have tape three, water safety. Now, the lakes here in Greensboro look nice and are very nice, but there's some rules they have to follow before you go swimming. First, you want to determine if swimming is worth the risk. Be aware of how you feel when looking at the water. Now listen. And it just pans to the water and it's just shots of the water. And as it's looking at the lake, you just hear screams slowly come in to come come out of the water. You just hear screams of torture, and it cuts to the guy and he's like, Looks good. Uh always wait 30 minutes before uh after eating uh to go swimming. Because they can smell it. Anyway, so our host cut back to our hosts, and there's a dead body on the floor with a sheet over it, and they're praying over this dead body, and the dude does the whole cross over the heart thing, and they go back to filming. Um they mentioned that you should comb the beach for sharp objects that may affect other guests. And the host finds a human tooth on the ground, and he's like, Oh, look at that. You're another dollar richer. Anyway, next we need to test the pH levels of the water. The pH levels can uh fluctuate, you know, from season to season here in Greensboro, so they need to test it. So our host dons rubber gloves and a gas mask and goes over to the lake with a glass vial. And as he brings the water back, he he walks it back where you're using like these like claw things holding the beaker, and he's holding it with one hand, the other guy's like, You know this! Two hands, two hands! He's like, Oh, I'm so I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And so he sets it down, and they're like, Alright, we did it. And so at the end, they take a pH uh uh measuring strip and they dunk it in the water and it immediately catches fire. Um tape seven, this was also referenced to in mine where they referenced the the water being weird. Um probably has something to do with this. Tape seven is search and recover. Now, here in Greensboro, people go missing all the time. If this happens, take the person reporting the missing person to the ranger station. Get as much information from them as possible. To avoid a lawsuit, show no empathy. They may mistake this for guilt or remorse. Make sure when taking notes to use a pencil in case you need to fix mistakes later. But hey, here's a DNR tip. This was not a joke. Use a fucking pencil. Please. Now most families will provide you an image of the missing person. If they cannot do this, just d doodle an image into the box and call it a day. Once you've gathered all the needed information, take the document to your supervisor and only your supervisor. Now you and your buddy have 30 days to find the missing person. When you've come to terms with your fate and you have all your affairs in order, it's time to come to terms with your task at hand. Pop quiz time. Where do most people go missing? Matt, I'm gonna ask you and you tell me what you think is the right question answer, okay?

SPEAKER_02 36:17

Where do most people go missing?

SPEAKER_06 36:19

Yes, is it the bathroom? Is it the bogs? Is it the past prime loop trail? Or the underground?

SPEAKER_01 36:27

The bogs.

Body Cam 351 Halloween Field Disaster

SPEAKER_06 36:29

That's right! The trail! Oh don't forget your fanny pack. You'll need it to hold your equipment, like ropes for climbing, and a compass, and uh your giant guide that is held together in a giant three-ring binder. If you're missing any equipment, you will be denied replacements. Also, it's at this point, they want to let you know. You always want to remember to stretch. You don't want to pull a hammy while running from something, and you will see something in that forest that will shatter your fucking mind. Officers often uh uh need to go to see therapy after going into the forest because they see things that they cannot comprehend. Now, it is time to start your first SRP, which is search and recover project. Uh it's time to start your first SRP curse that all officers must experience. First and foremost, you never go alone. You always go with a buddy. There's a 35% chance of officers getting lost if they have a buddy, but there's a 65% chance of officers getting lost when alone. Remember, that's a pretty good statistic, if you ask me. Now, when you get to your when you get to the cave that you're going to, always attach a rope to your buddy. If they tug on the rope two times, that means pull your buddy out. If they tug any more than two, disconnect your rope and run like hell. Now, there are three scenarios that are gonna happen when you go on uh a search and rescue mission. Scenario one, you find the missing person and you bring them back to the ranger station. Two, if you don't find the missing person, you go back to the ranger station. Or three, you don't come back from the forest. We then see a whiteboard that has tallies on it for how many people have been rescued and how many people have been recovered. And the amount of recoveries is vastly more than the amount of rescues. The amount of people that come down that forest alive is like seven compared to like the 40 that have just been recovered. If another officer or another person finds a missing person that you deemed lost, you will be fired immediately. We do not take laziness on this job. You are supposed to be an efficient person, and if you cannot find your missing person, you're out of there, buddy. Now again, if you do find a missing person, bring them back to the ranger station quickly. Once that is done, you and your buddy will return to your shifts and make up for all that lost work that you missed. Every successful mission comes with huge rewards. You will be given two free cheese shake coupons from Cheesies. This is also a sponsored video by Cheesies. Now, if you've lost your buddy while out on a search and recovery protocol program, weigh out the benefits, the pros and cons to going out to find them. Is your buddy really worth looking for? If they can't be found, you will be held liable for visiting their family on a frequent uh uh means. You are also now the number one suspect in the new case that is your missing partner. It may just be worth it to either keep looking for them or just never come back from the forest in general. That choice is up to you. Now, the next video I want to talk about, I'm gonna sum this one up, but it is very fascinating. It's called Body Cam 351. This is one that Doug said he looked at, and it was very fun. And I agree, it is very fun. Basically, what we have here is we follow two rookie officers going through orientation, and one of them is wearing a body cam. Um, the camera records them uh doing all sorts of all sorts of tasks. Uh, usually it starts off small because they're newer, like walking the trail. Um, they find these real, well, these weird like runes sticking out of a tree that they're all like yanking out. Um the guy that's wearing the body cam is kind of questioning all the weird things that are happening to them throughout orientation. He seems to think that a lot of this is a prank by the more veteran staff, while the other one is taking a lot of this very seriously. Uh, as they are going on one of their tasks here, they stumble across a pair of legs just sticking out of a field. And they're like, Oh, should we check to see if he's alive? And the other person just like, well, unless legs can breathe, I don't really think we have to worry about checking for that. Um, the date, there's also dates on the the webcam or the body camp footage, and it starts in August, and we're we make our way up until October. Halloween. Uh Halloween comes, uh, or I guess the week before Halloween comes, we get some footage of these two uh buddies on like lunch break and everything. And one of them is talking about how um they're getting prepared for the Halloween scourge that is about to happen. They have a bag filled with pixie dust, like the candy. They just have it filled with it, and she's just like, Oh yeah, like I can either like take a handful and throw it at him, or I could just throw the whole bag at him, whatever I want to do. And uh the guy's like, Again, I think you're wasting your time with this. And she's like, Well, I got a little something for you, too. It's out of season, but I think it's gonna be really effective. And she pulls out a candy cane that she sharpened into like a shank. She's like, Yeah, this would be really good for you know, give it a good stab. So now Halloween comes along, and uh they uh basically it paired into a pair of three. You have the person with the gun, you have the person that is like the trailhead, the researcher, and you have the other person that's there as like um the equipment holder. And they go out to into the woods to basically scope it out, and two of them are just like, man, this is a fucked up shit. We're out here, this is insane. The guy with the body cam foot is just like, I think y'all are looking too deep into this. Again, this is a prank being done by the veterans, there's nothing out here. Then they hear some weird ass like demon noises, and the guy holding the gun gets got pretty hardcore by a demon thing. He drops the gun, the other two run away and hide behind a tree. And the guy with the body cam makes his way back to the gun. He's like, We gotta get that gun. It's got the special bullets. During the orientation, they're told about these special bullets that will only work on Halloween. Any other day of the year, it's you they're useless, but they're very expensive bullets, so don't waste them. So they go back for the gun. And as our guy with the body cam goes back for a gun, this like demon thing with this like paper plate mask just comes up, grabs them, and kills them almost immediately. And we've seen this mask in the past too. During orientation, um, they are told, you know, we we are trying to crack down on on stopping some Halloween traditions. Uh, we we banned pumpkins, specifically jack-o'-lanterns. We banned paper plates and paper plate masks. We tried to ban scissors, but that didn't go so well. So we just banned the paper plates. Um, and yeah, it ends in these three people just getting their shit stomped by something in the Woods. Now that is gonna do it for the normal tapes that we have here. There is another portion that I thought.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

Which is, I think, is way better.

Boro’s Adventures A New Life

SPEAKER_06 44:11

It is a hundred percent better. So this these are Boros of uh Borough's adventures. Um there are, I believe, four videos to this. Uh, one, two, yeah, there's four videos connected to this. Um, and I think this is the life of the party. I enjoyed the original Greensboro stuff, but this portion I think is a bit better.

SPEAKER_04 44:35

All right, so the first video in the Boros Adventures, I guess, playlist, if you will, is called A New Life. Um, and the description says, All right, I ran out of training tape, so here's an old cartoon I had to watch as a kid. Boros Adventures was an animated series created in the early 90s and funded by Greensboro and Greensboro DNR. It was a complete success with the kids, and most of us remember it to this day. From what I could find online, it seems that Borough's Adventures was never distributed outside of Greensboro.

SPEAKER_06 45:03

So got that swore's ass graphics that shit.

SPEAKER_04 45:09

Yeah, so it starts off with a DNR logo, which Mike explained to us a little bit, and um basically it says, or basically it's a little like cartoon, as it said, but it's like 3D graphics. Um, and basically Borough's parents now work at the DNR, and it's it's almost like a training video, but like not quite in the way it's presented. But it says your family will be relocated to the park. Tell your friends goodbye, you won't be seeing them again. Um, you'll learn to love the park, provided uh provided proper housing on park grounds uh for you and your family. Um, this makes handling emergencies so much easier. Also, stay indoors at night. If you're not on the payroll, you have no reason to enter the forest. Ignore all of your paranoia. Um, and then so while this is happening, it's just kind of like showing Boro walking around and like you know, them at the house that they're in now inside of the park. And then while it says ignore your paranoia, you see this like Boro is like standing in the middle of his house looking at like this like door that's rattling, and then you see the door just like open, and uh inside of the like the silhouette of the door is what I guess would call like a a windigo, I guess. Um and uh it's just like in his house now, and then it goes if if you feel threatened, call for help and stay put. 367 is DNR service response, uh or is DNR services response times vary. Um, and then we see that horrible windigo uh again basically sniffing Boro out inside of the house, and he's like under the table in the middle of the room. Um, and it says, Everything in the forest can smell your fear. Determine the aggression of wildlife when interacting with them, because you know that's a thing that you typically do. Um, actually, this next part is something you definitely typically do, and it says, take an educated guess on their top speed.

SPEAKER_06 47:23

You look like you can be about 30.

SPEAKER_04 47:26

Um, and then it says, There are no peaceful creatures in Greensboro. If they show intelligence, get the fuck out of there. Uh, it doesn't say that, but that's that's what I got from that. But it uh basically we watch the Windigo start smashing the house up. Finally, it finds Burrow Boro underneath the table. Um, and they mention that playing dead is fine and that you can do that. So he's just like limp in this like windigo's hands, and uh he just gets fucking yeeted out the window by the windigo. Um and uh if this is uh once he's outside, uh the windigo actually comes back out and is like kind of sniffing him out again. But it says, if this is the end, close your eyes and pretend to be somewhere else. Um, and then out of nowhere, it looks like Boro's about to get fucking kilt, and then uh the mom bear runs the his ass that just straight over the windigo, and we get a happy ending. And then it says DNR is not responsible for missing family members. I assume this is either a windigo or a skinwalker because uh when this thing is like in the house when it's talking about like the DNR line, um they like end up calling back at one point, and you hear like a DNR service member on the phone, and he's like, Hey, like, are you is there still a problem here? And like the windigo just like screams at the phone, and the guy's like, Oh, alright. And then like the the creature just starts like recreate or like reacting, um, or like mimicking, I should say, the voice of the guy on the phone while it's like crawling out of this like window to like kill the bear. Um, it's pretty funny and creepy at the same time, but that's all that video is.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

I assume that this is what was alluded to as bear.

SPEAKER_04 49:14

Yeah, definitely bear. There's a lot of bear going on.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

Alright.

School Days Part One Social Ladder

SPEAKER_04 49:22

Um yeah, back to it, back to the grind.

SPEAKER_02 49:25

That next shit is called School Days Part One. So this is the next entry in Borough's adventures, and I am not gonna be able to do this justice. Like, you're just gonna have to go watch this. It's a lot of fun, I think. So um it's another 3D animated information type thing, and it's all about going to school. So it basically goes over what your child can expect going to school at the DNR provided Decker Academy, which is where I guess children living under families of the DNR get their mandatory education. So we see Boro riding the bus up to the front of the academy, and it's a pretty normal looking school, except for like this giant statue as fr that's out front. But I actually cackled at there's a bird that's like playing ball with a gorilla, but it's just bouncing like this dodgeball or a basketball off of its head repeatedly, and it's just like ding, ding, ding, ding, and the gorilla is like not even reacting to it. It's it's pretty fucking funny. There's a lot of this kind of stuff that's just kind of happening in and around the school as you're watching it. So pay attention to what's going on in the background. But we learn that students who learn to network and manipulate rise through the ranks faster than those who focus on education. So fuck your education. Uh just learn to manipulate people. Every student should be seen as a rung on the social ladder. After that, we learn that everyone's favorite class is environmental science. So we go to class and we also learn that everything teachers say is true. Also, by the way, there are dumb questions, and your questions are dumb. Which is told to us like as there's analog horror glitches happening, which I think is the best use of the that ever. And then we go to lunch, and um we learn that the cafeteria is newly renovated, and they have new cafeteria tables, which means that cafeteria tables are no longer exclusive to students of a higher social standing. But we do learn that due to l legal regulation, unfortunately, the academy now has to provide a low-cost lunch to all students. But they do note that the quality of the meal that you're going to receive will be entirely dependent on your social status. Then and like Borough's given some sort of sausage that is just like this gray tube and like raw haunch, is what I would describe it as. They just like give them on tongs. Right. Like, well, I'm not touching this. Um, and then we're given some st uh some tips on how to climb the social ladder. So, of course, you gotta make friends, uh, but you're probably not gonna be able to make friends with people who are already in that like upper upper echelon of people. So, really, you need to try to aim for students that are lower on the totem pole and easier to manipulate. That's really key. So try providing them gifts, which is a great way to win favor, which is really why you need to aim for the people who are most gullible. Now, once you've given them something, and we see Boro giving uh I think this is a lemur. A lemur? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a lemur. He gives them like a cookie. Um, we're reminded that we should bring up the good deed that's you've done for someone as often as possible possible to really make sure that you remember that they owe you one. Also, ignore ugly students, those are not the people you want to make friends with. You want to be trying to climb those ranks. Yeah, exactly. So he talks to the lemur for a bit, and then uh we're also reminded not to spend too much time on one relationship and to spread yourself as thin as possible. And then the video ends when Boro discovers that the cookie that he gave to the lemur, the lemur just kind of tossed it on the ground. And the screen kind of goes red, which seems like maybe this is Boro like starting to crack. Um and that's kind of the end of it. Oh, and then it also shows like a good job, you've raised up the social ladder, and it shows like Boro moving up this social ladder as the the limp lemur plummets.

SPEAKER_08 53:48

A poor lemur. Not no nobody. I didn't finish the video yet.

SPEAKER_04 54:01

I like five minutes.

SPEAKER_06 54:07

A very borough Halloween, baby. So basically, we follow Boro on Halloween here. Now, Halloween is Boro's favorite holiday. Let's see if we can fix that. We see uh this orange car driving around, and you see it pretty frequently throughout the entire video. The uh narrator here even mentions some people will show how infatuated they are and how obsessed they are with this uh this uh holiday of Halloween by going above and beyond by over-decorating their houses or their vehicles. And an example of an over-decorated vehicle is this orange one that has a license plate that just says, I love Halloween. Anyway, so we find out the true story and the true history of Halloween. It all started when Celtic villagers got together about 200 years ago to celebrate the harvest. Some funny pranksters decided to try and summon a a demon. This demon's name was redacted. Uh they they tried to uh summon this demon by sacrificing a goat. The demon could not take on a physical form, but did end up cursing the village with an insatiable hunger. This caused everybody in the village to start attacking and eating each other. The village elder, who was fasting at the time, was not affected. He then stabbed out his eyes using the p uh pumpkin stem and chanted an ancient mantra. This stopped the demon and prestopped the curse, but everyone was already dead, so it didn't really matter. Boro being told the story, still likes Halloween. Still his favorite holiday. That's okay. We're gonna move on to costumes. Now we see everyone around is wearing scary costumes. That's no fun. You gotta stand out. So, what does Boro do? He dresses as an accountant. So as he comes out of the costume store dressed as an accountant, that orange car pulls up and it rolls down the the window, and this very tiny, gray, creepishly long arm reaches out of the window and just throws candy at Boro's face and then drives off.

SPEAKER_05 56:29

And as it drives off, a kid starts to cross the street, and it just bam, just rams into this kid and the kid goes flying.

School Days Part Two Art Class Spiral

SPEAKER_06 56:40

It just just harsh cut hard cuts onto something else, and it just says pulling pranks is fun, but you do it a bit differently here. Here, instead of egging houses and whatnot, you actually hide people's costumes if they take them off. So if you see someone take off their mask to try to get catch a breather or something, you snatch the mask and you can throw it in the trash, you can hide it in a bush, or you can even bury it if you wanted to. Now, this person whose mask you just hid, they'll they'll come up to you and they'll pretend to be all mad and they'll scream and yell at you, asking you where the mask is. But that's all just part of the trick, man. Don't fall for it. You just gotta keep denying it. Say, I don't know where the mask is. Don't worry about it. Next, we learn about trick-or-treating. Now, trick-or-treating is fun, but you gotta do it safely. Children who trick-or-treat alone have a 34 to 73% chance of going missing by the end of the night. Avoid this by going out with some friends. You also want to avoid decorated homes. Those are bait. You get taken there. Go to nice quiet houses, you know? And once you get candy from those nice quiet houses, you want to check it. Because there could be nails, broken glass, razor blades in it. It could be anything. And Boro does find a treat that has razors in it. So he can't have that piece of candy anymore. Now we find out that trick-or-treating goes until 8 p.m. And you do not want to go into the forest until 8 a.m. on November 1st. Boro, of course, goes into the forest like a little fool. And as he's wandering through the forest, he hears gunshots and he hears screams, and he hears this weird, uh, deep, utteral growl. Hears his twigs snapping all around him, and he's looking around, and he sees nothing. And then he's face to face with this giant, creepy, dead tree. Hears this demonic growl come from the tree, and this demon comes out of it, and this demon's wearing like it looks like he's wearing like a yellow shirt. He's just got like a plain blank face. There's nothing on it. And he comes running out of the tree at Boro. Boro finds a gun and he goes to pick it up, but the demon just smacks out of his hand and he picks up Boro. And he goes to eat Boro. But as he does, the demon accidentally steps on a pile of candy corn and he melts into the ground. Happy Halloween! Happy Halloween from Boro. There's that's the video. Yay! Happy Halloween! That's how it ends, yay! Yay! Happy weakness. Um, the next and the final video would be school days part two.

SPEAKER_04 59:21

Um, okay, so school days part two. Um starts off saying, now that you're fat, it's time for physical education. Oh, yeah. Uh improves improving your physical strength will help you fight your fears. Um, and then so I'm gonna sum up this video quite a bit because there's a lot of like fodder in it that isn't super important. Um, it lists a slew of like random activities that you can join. Um, but the last activity, it kind of zooms in and it says young officer adventure, and it's like in front of this like ominous black forest, and there's like definitely some shit in the forest, but it's like slowly like panning into it and like not saying anything, and then it kind of cuts to a shot of that windigo creature, and back at it, baby. It like it's like very brief, but then it cuts back to like Boro like looking at the thing. Um, and then it's like if you can't find a hobby, it's okay, you'll just be alone forever. Um and then it'll be like in that case, you'll it'll be in that case you'll be invited to pity activities, and it shows like this like random animal like inviting it to like play like fucking um I forget what that game is called with the ball on the no, it's like a the ball on the string of the playing Napoleon dynamite, yeah. Tetherball um tetherball, thank you. And then it goes, you will be monitored though, in case you're having fun the wrong way. Um, calories burned are directly linked to how much fun you're having. Um, and then they go over some like random things you can do to have fun and how to lose calories. Um, and it says, if you do better in the pacer, you will live longer. The top 50 students get a hundred dollar scholarship, uh, which seems very, very, very high. Um and then it goes, Congrats, you've passed the test, and now you're on to level four. Uh, and then it says, Nothing is more fun than passing out from exhaustion. Uh, and then the he just like passes out. Um, and then when he wakes up, it's like, what's your next class? And then it's like, uh-oh, it's time for art class.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:34

Hold on, are we not going to talk about the kid that absolutely fucking dies on the climbing rope?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:41

I mean, you can if you'd like.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:42

There's a shot of I don't know what animal this is, but it's climbing a climbing rope with absolutely no harness or anything. And I'm telling you, this thing's like two stories fucking high, and it gets about two thirds uh maybe a halfway up and just it falls to the ground, and the camera cuts before it hits the ground. But this kid is dead, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:01

100% dead.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:02

RIP.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:03

Yeah, there's definitely probably some shit I won't be talking about. So if you see something, feel free to chime in. Um, so yeah, it says, uh-oh, it's time for art class, and then it like talks about how like the West Wing, like they didn't have like un like unlimited money, so they had to like make a bunch of budget cuts, and it like shows the like west wing of the school, and it's just like overgrown and like dilapidated and like just like crusty and gross, like Silent Hill style.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:29

Yeah, the each wing's been torn down for a ballroom, so they can't use that.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:33

Oh got him, man. Just uh but yeah, so uh yeah, so he gets to the front of the room and it just looks horrible. Like inside it looks like death is awaiting, and uh he gets inside and it's like you may notice a lack of structure during art class. Um, this is an experiment being uh put on the students, and it's to test uh how independent they are, and then it goes on to say, drawing is for babies, and what will your friends think? We'll let it slide this time because like Boro's just like sitting there, like drawing a picture, and then it's like, Well, no better time than to get some beauty sleep, and like he like basically takes a nap in this room, and then when he wakes up, the room is like completely red and terrible, like even more terrible looking than it was before. Um and everybody's gone. And uh basically he's like just leaves the room and he's like, Yeah, it's it's like why don't you go get some fresh air? So he like leaves the room and he's like walking down these like hallways for a bit, and they're all just again horrific looking, and he ends up at a bathroom, and once he's in the bathroom, uh he's like focused on this one stall, and then out of nowhere, this fucking like rabbit, I guess, like busts the fuck out of the thing, but it's like jacked as fuck, like the size of a bear, and um it starts chasing his ass, and he he books it out of there, and he ends up in a maintenance room where he hides for a bit, and then after a bit of time, this thing finally like catches him in a room, and as the the rabbit's about to like pounce on his ass, he like Boro like turns around and like shows him a picture that he drew from art class of like him and his family, and then like it's just like uh he's like he's like you were almost at the top of the ladder, and now you're just a disgusting vermin, and it like shows him like dropping down the social ladder and like all the way back to the bottom. And I'm telling you, the narrator goes hard into this thing. He's like, You're worthless, you are you're like you're a you're worth nothing, and like um, yeah, it just goes fucking in on Boro, and then it's like the only friends you can get now or the worst of the worst, and uh he's like standing in line for the bus to go home, and he like shows this like wolf the picture that he got, and the wolf's like and then Yeah, man. Basically, he gets on the bus and like as he's trying to find a seat, he like shows the picture to this like other animal, and the animal's like and then he goes back up to the wolf and the wolf's like patting him, like patting on the seat, he's like, Yeah, right here. Um, and then it's like Boro, you have a lot you have to make up a lot of lost ground now, and then that's where the video ends. Interesting.

Ratings And What We Want Next

SPEAKER_06 1:05:31

At least he found a friend. I was starting to feel bad for Boros for a minute there. Right. Anyway, that is Greenboro DR and Borough's adventures, I guess, in a nutshell. Um it's getting pretty late on Doug's end, so I don't want to keep him up much longer, but I I want to get your guys' opinion on this. So I've obviously uh zero z 0 to 10. What do we what do you think? Uh Matt, you start.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:57

I've given this a seven and a half. I like it. Quite a bit. Uh like I said, we need more analog comedy. That's this is analog comedy. I like it a lot. I really, really enjoy Boro Adventures. They're really funny. They're really well done. I appreciate the 3D animation that obviously they've spent a lot of time on. Um I really have no don't have any complaints about Boro Adventures. The DNR training tapes are a little bit long in some spots. Um I think they could have been trimmed down. And I feel like some of the ideas, while they're good and I do like the humor, are drawn out a bit too long. Like the media episode I think didn't really need to be 15 minutes long. Um and I would like it if it's kinda they've kind of done this thing where they're just hinting at these things that might be happening.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:56

And I would like a little bit of development there. But there are a bunch of missing tapes. So Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:05

There's 48 tapes or something like that in total.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:07

Yeah. What do you think, Douglas?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:12

Yeah, I'm kinda right there, actually. Uh I think I think I'd give it a 7 out of 10. Um I thought it was pretty silly. And I think that um I think I think Matt's right, I think the comedy and the analog horror was necessary, and it brings a new a little brush of breath breath of fresh air into things, uh, which is nice. Um, I think the Boros stuff is pretty good, and I I was a little when I first watched this the first time, I was a little bored when it first started. I thought I thought it was funny, and I didn't think it was bad by any means, but I was a little I was a little bored because yeah, some of the videos kind of dragged a little bit. Um, and I I was worried that we were gonna get just like a bunch of videos of the two guys just being goofs, which is funny, but in the context of it being an analog horror, you need a little bit of substance to with it, right? So I think that um while it now for me has a lot more substance because some of the the end or like the end videos in the Boros videos kind of picked up some weight that it didn't have in the initial videos, but I do like it, it's fun, and I I would like to see more of it.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:31

Yeah, I'm giving this like an eight and a half, uh soft nine, possibly. I've I've I really enjoyed this one. I my only only thing I will note on it is kind of like what Matt said, I feel like there is like they keep referencing like these things in the woods are like don't go in the woods because bad stuff happens in there. We never actually see it that often. Show me a bit more of it. We got some of it in the body cam uh video, which was nice, but I need more. But I still I thought it was very I thought it was funny enough to where it held up for me. I was tackling through most of this thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:10

I don't think we need to go as far as to explain it or show it, because I feel like the part of the humor is in like the what of it, yeah. But I think more hints and development around what's happened in regards to it, like lawsuits or people who have gone missing or things that have happened with the press, and then like hints about what these things actually are, rather than just this sort of hand-wavy, like something's weird's happening.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:41

This whole thing and the way people act in this, uh like react and whatnot in this world is is basic it's very like if Reno 911 was a parks and recreation service, like that's what I'm picking up on this. And it's it's I loved it. This whole thing made me crack up. I cannot recommend this enough. If you're listening, go watch it. I'm actually surprised it doesn't have more this viewership to it. Like, it's this is so underground for no reason. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:10

This has 4,000 subscribers. The Godzilla thing has 20,000 and a lot more views, and that is a crime.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:17

Yeah, this is the the production quality of this is fucking awesome. Like, there's a couple other like Arc Ranger analog horrors that are like way, way worse than this, and like yeah, this one's still less popular for some reason, which again is kind of a crime, but it's fine.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:38

Yeah, highly recommend 10 out of 10. Uh eight and a half out of ten, sorry, but uh highly recommend.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:46

Uh other than that, this is probably my favorite analog horror that we've yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:51

This is this is the this is my favorite thing we've covered in a while. I've said this about something else previously, I don't even remember what it is. So I think this took the case. This is easily top three for me.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:01

I think you said about Glendale.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:04

Probably.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:05

Yeah, probably. Glendale is a better more serious thing than this is.

Plugs Plus A Mafia Book Detour

SPEAKER_06 1:11:13

Yeah. Um you know what's better and more serious? Our website, diluty.com, super serious, or a Patreon at patreon.com slash dilutypod, where you can give us money on either of those if you feel that we're worthy of it. And uh don't be throwing those up here, boy. Don't be you're off here just like uh uh uh but yeah, uh if you feel worthy of anything, you want some bonus content, we have so much of it. You can't be throwing with the pitchforks like this, suddenly you gotta stay away from that. We're gonna get in trouble. Um blur it out. I found a Cheeto that looks like that. I'll send it to you. Um but uh Cheetos are uh anyway, but go to our website, go to our Patreon. Uh if you want to send us anything, uh dilutypod at gmail.com. Super cool place right there. And uh yeah. Uh Doug, you got anything for people?

SPEAKER_08 1:12:11

Not really, no.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:12

Alright, that's that's cool. That's cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:17

Uh something else. What's my reading? I read this. Uh the Mafia, a story of corruption, violence and the city. By a bunch of people. Um it was okay. I bought this at Barnes and Noble. It has some interesting tidbits about the history of the mafia. But one thing I wanted to share is that I learned that Chicago Hare is named after the son of the guy that ratted out Al Capone, which is gangster as fuck. The guy that ratted out that reported Al Capone to the IRS because he went to the he went to jail for tax evasion, not for any of the shit he did with the mafia. But um the guy that ratted him out was his accountant, and his name was something O'Hare. And he part of the reason he ratted Al Capone out was because he wanted to be able to send his son to aviation school or like the Air Academy or something like that. Anyway, his son ended up becoming a pilot in World War II and w earned a medal of honor, and Chicago O'Hare is named after him.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:22

That is a fancy tidbit. Almost as fancy as Chicago's. Oh, based off the the hit movie Shrek? Yeah. It's like layers, you know? Anyway. Goodbye, everybody. Have a beautiful rest of your day, and may God bless you.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:53

Everyone's interesting sign off.