DLUTI 237 - 28th World Problems and a Dookie Sock

This week, Jason visits a weird house, Doug visits the 28th dimension, Mike visits a millennial dining establishment, and Matt misuses a sock.

Transcript

Vampire Boners And Cold Open

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Don't look under the internet.

SPEAKER_10 0:28

Vampires are always drinking blood. So, in a way, all of their erections are actually someone else's erection.

SPEAKER_07 0:39

In Soviet vampire, this has been a nugget of the world. We all get on.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

If vampires are real, their boners belong to other people, is what you're saying. It's the people's erection. In communist, what is it? Yeah. Transylvania. Communist Transylvania. Yeah. Your boner belongs to me.

SPEAKER_05 1:01

My boner is your boner.

SPEAKER_04 1:04

I'm doing my part. You also treat me like sheet.

SPEAKER_07 1:14

Welcome everybody to Don't Look Under the Internet, the internet's favorite comedy horror podcast featuring the likes of yours truly. Jason. Hello.

SPEAKER_03 1:22

Um I'm not a vampire, but I do have a boner.

SPEAKER_07 1:26

That's something a vampire would say.

SPEAKER_03 1:29

There's Doug.

SPEAKER_05 1:32

And fresh, fresh out the oven. Because when you oven um cold food, you have to oven the.

SPEAKER_07 1:44

That's something a vampire would say. We also have Matt.

SPEAKER_09 1:49

Every spectrum is uh place.

SPEAKER_05 1:56

That's something autistic would say. I'm like, oh nobody knew what they were going to say. Every spectrum is a place. I thought you were gonna say like every spectrum starts with K or some shit. Every spectrum starts with K.

SPEAKER_07 2:16

Every spectrum starts with K. Honestly though, every spectrum is a place, is not a bad thing.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Fuck, I need to give my mom a Mother's Day get.

SPEAKER_07 2:27

Same. Right, that's Sunday. I'm on call.

SPEAKER_06 2:29

Damn it!

SPEAKER_07 2:30

Mama got you train set for Mother's Day. Oh crap.

SPEAKER_05 2:35

And I'm here too. I'm lucky on Mother's Day. I don't have to buy her. Oh shit. Oh no. Zing.

SPEAKER_03 2:46

Welcome everybody. I love and miss your dark humor.

SPEAKER_07 2:50

Well, another episode of this thing that we're doing here.

SPEAKER_03 2:53

Um, you're not welcome.

SPEAKER_05 2:55

What's our new website, Matt? Big Shrimp.

SPEAKER_10 2:58

Yeah. Big Shrimp dash endlesstaste.com.

SPEAKER_07 3:02

I forgot about that. I forgot about that. Go to big shrimp dash endless taste.com.

Why We’re Doing Reddit Today

SPEAKER_07 3:10

Boys, today we have kind of kind of kind of a silly one today. Um silly boy. Uh we're doing a Reddit on Reddit episode because uh we did a lot of analog horrors. We did the month of analog horror, and we got a little burnt out on that. So I found a couple easy topics for us to do these last couple weeks. Uh what with comp plan and now also some Reddit stuff. So we're just gonna talk about some Reddit-y things that we found. Who wants to start us off?

SPEAKER_05 3:46

I got it, I got it, I got it. Okay, I got it. Stop me if you've heard this one before. I have a bunch actually, and they're all really short, so that's why I have a bunch. But I just found a bunch of really fucking stupid subreddits. That's all I did. I just found a bunch of stupid. I actually have one fairly like on brand, like weird one that I found. But most of these are just like meme subreddits, bullshit meme subreddits. If I've talked about this one because I can't remember if I did or not already, stop me if you've heard this one before, please. This

Grandpa Joe Hate Gets Personal

SPEAKER_05 4:18

is R slash Grandpa Joe hate. Wait, I I came across you. Yes, this has come up.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

I have covered this already. I don't know if you have it during looking at my shit. It really does. Although let's talk about it anyway.

SPEAKER_05 4:37

It's just it's just all memes of Grandpa Joe from fucking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and everybody's just hating on him. And it is so funny. He's an asshole, bro. He's a piece of shit. If you have the time, it's just it's just so it's uh you can spend a good amount of time laughing on this this subreddit. It's very, very silly. Um, that's it. It's very short. That's why I wanted to start because I'm like, all right, here, it's just for your information, there's this subreddit, and it's just people hating on Grandpa Joe from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. That's all it is. Because he's a piece of shit, yeah. Because he's a piece of shit, yeah. There's some pretty funny memes.

SPEAKER_10 5:20

I think this started because the deal with grandpa joe is like obviously he's faking his illness, right? Obviously, right.

SPEAKER_05 5:28

He's yeah, he's committing fraud. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 5:32

At a familial level. This is why we can't have affordable health care because we got grandpa joe gaming the system.

SPEAKER_05 5:43

Yeah. One of the one of the memes I just came across, it's like a like a Twitter interaction, and it says, sex somebody tweeted, sex doesn't impress me. Teach me how to make 30k in two days, and then it says, Grandpa Joe, and he says, Well, it's gonna involve sex.

SPEAKER_07 6:05

God damn it. He knows what he's about. He's a man who knows what he's about. Know what I'm about. Selfish bitch. Do you have another one? You said you had a couple shortties. You want to do suggestions?

SPEAKER_05 6:16

Yeah, I'll do my my other short one. Uh,

Bees In Top Hats Serenity

SPEAKER_05 6:18

the other one that I implore everyone to go check out because this one just gave me a lot of good serotonin. It's it's r slash real bees fake top hats.

SPEAKER_03 6:28

I have I have brought this up before, I'm sure, because I um I look at this every day. I'm pretty sure we can talk about this a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 6:36

Okay, well, we need to start making a master list. Yeah, seriously. It sounds like what it is, and it's it's nice, it's it's good to do.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

So it's just a bunch of bubble bees, and then people photoshop fake top hats on them, and they look dapperish.

SPEAKER_10 6:50

Isn't there one with birds? They do that is similar to this birds with birds with arms.

SPEAKER_07 6:55

Yep, yeah, we're all there's like birds with arms. There's another one where you play there's there's one that Jason talked about where they like photoshopped chairs into something or something like that.

SPEAKER_06 7:05

Nope, that's not that's what I'm thinking of.

SPEAKER_07 7:08

Yeah, it was like frogs on chairs or some shit

Banned Subreddits And Landscaping Plans

SPEAKER_07 7:11

like that.

SPEAKER_03 7:11

Oh, there's a what's the one where they're yeah, dick lips, r slash dick lips, dick lips. Yeah, I knew where you were going with that. Yeah, you knew exactly what I was talking about. They take the penis out of the equation of girls or men giving blowjobs, but then they turn like the helmet part of the dick into the lips, and it looks fucking ridiculous. It's very, very, very funny. It's so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_07 7:39

I enjoy the one. I think it's called like Safer Work Porn or something, where they take like a photo from like a from a porn and they'll recolor it, and it's like pinball machine. Yeah, and it's like local man uh uses CPR on dying woman or whatever. Yep.

SPEAKER_10 7:55

Dicklips is banned.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

I know it's been banned for a while now.

SPEAKER_10 7:59

Dicklips was banned due to being unmoderated.

SPEAKER_03 8:03

That that traps nobody wanted to claim this. RFC.

SPEAKER_05 8:12

You're like, someone's gotta step up and be the hero we need.

SPEAKER_07 8:16

I'm the hero Dicklips needs, not the one it deserves.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

If I quit healthcare and start a landscaping business, I will absolutely moderate r slash dyclips.

SPEAKER_07 8:25

It's very specific. Only if you start a landscaping business.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

Oh, yeah, that's the criteria. Why? What's this? Okay. Because there's like 200 new homes near me, and none of them know what they're doing. Start a lawnmowing business. Just go door to door.

SPEAKER_07 8:41

I'll mow your lawmaking business.

SPEAKER_10 8:42

No, no, no, no. I'm not asking why you want to start a landscaping business. I'm talking about I'm asking what the connection between the landscaping business and oh, because I won't have to I don't I won't be regulated by anybody.

SPEAKER_03 8:55

A company, a business, a corporation that monitors your social media or whatever. I will share dick lips on my company page. Okay. That's gonna be the whole thing. I mow your lawn and then you get a dick lips picture. There you go. That's your card.

SPEAKER_08 9:14

Here's my card. Give it to your friends.

SPEAKER_03 9:19

This is a horribly offensive dick sucking picture.

SPEAKER_10 9:22

I think this is the wrong card. Nope, that's the right one.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

Nope. No, it's correct. I triple checked.

SPEAKER_10 9:29

Jason, landscaping, moderator of our declips. Do you need your your lawn mode? Do you need landscaping or landscaping?

SPEAKER_07 9:40

Can you put that on your LinkedIn profile?

SPEAKER_03 9:45

Oh yes. I would lead, I would, I would lead it with that. Current administrator for r slash dick dicklips.

SPEAKER_07 9:52

And he pays for LinkedIn Plus.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

Also, I do landscaping.

SPEAKER_10 9:57

We're wildly off topic already. I've got Reddit up on another screen, and I just casually scrolled across a post that says school director accused of leading child fight club sentenced to probation 30 days in jail. And I need to know more. It's a woman. That's what's freaking crazy.

SPEAKER_05 10:15

Hell yeah. I mean, dude is could be both. Just a fucking shot.

SPEAKER_10 10:21

Dude's a general gender neutral singer.

SPEAKER_07 10:26

Well, Jason, you're a man who probably has a couple Reddit things that you want to tell us about. I do.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

Um

Mystery Spots And Gravity Tricks

SPEAKER_03 10:35

all right. Do you guys want to hear about hauntings or gravity? Gravity. Gravity? Okay, hold on, let me pull that up. Gravity hauntings. Gravity hauntings. I mean, it might be a good thing. Exon! It's the god particle. Um have you guys ever heard of? Got it. There it is. Have you guys ever heard of anything called the the mystery spot?

SPEAKER_05 11:01

In what state? Because there's lots of them. Oh, there's so many. I'm pretty sure it's not real.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

Okay, cool. Oh, Matt, what do you got? What? Oh yeah. Yeah, just all the air out of my fucking windbags right now. Uh is that map that you told me about a while ago? No, no, no. So these are locations on Earth that are that have claimed to hold gravitational anomalies. Um the one that I found that might be most relevant was in Santa Cruz. And it's a location that claims in the Redwood Forest that claims that it is the home to one of the most original gravitational anomalies on the planet. Now, when I say gravitational anomalies, what I mean is that it doesn't. If you're standing up straight in this area, it feels like you're being pulled over to one side instead of straight down. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_07 12:02

Okay. So like you can feel like you're leaning all the time a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

Yes, but like gravity is pulling you in a different direction than it normally does. Like while you're just sitting here right now. So instead of pulling down, where it's like harder to get up because your back hurts and you're old, it's hard to walk forward for the same reasons.

SPEAKER_05 12:25

There's one of these spots in uh Silver Dollar City called like Grandpa's Shack. Yeah. And like there's like this fucking like room, and it's just like a living room, but as you walk, you're like literally like walking uphill in it, but you're like flat, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Yes. It's it's so the basis for these uh there's a bunch of these mystery spots, quote unquote, all around the world. I've seen some in Australia, some in uh California, Michigan, Indiana, I think has one. Um but basically what these spots are areas that can't be described by science simply because gravity works differently. You guys have never heard of this? I've heard. I have not. I mean, I've I have to meet. Oh, hell yeah. Um, so the Santa Cruz one that I found, it's called the Mystery Spot. And you go out there, it's like eight bucks for a ticket, and they give you a whole tour, lasts like two hours long, and they take you through these hiking trails in this inside a gravitational anomaly. Um, what you'll see when you go on these tours is, for example, somebody you'll walk up to a house and you'll stand inside, but you'll feel like gravity is pulling you towards the wall instead of the floor. So you have to like compensate by leaning forward. Um, they'll take a marble on a flat piece of wood and they'll just hold it there, and it'll be fine. And as soon as they stick it outside the window, it just starts like rolling backwards. Almost like gravity is different outside the house than inside the house. Um, there's a lot of little drama singing about I'll skeet skeet, motherfucker. Um you will find areas where waterfalls flow uphill. If that interests you. Um it it almost seems like these areas are like pockets of different physics, if that makes sense. Like physics just work differently in these areas, and obviously they're monetized and tourist attractions, and you're invited to come in and look at it. Um, but they're all over the place. There's some in Michigan, there's some in Indiana, like I said. But the biggest one that I saw was uh the mystery spot in Santa Cruz, California. Um super cool. Unfortunately, most of them look like they're optical allusions to where they just set houses up. That's and that's what most people think.

SPEAKER_10 15:07

I think this very couple on the front page of mystery spot.com.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Oh, yeah, of the slanted house. Yeah. No, no, no, that's fine. Um, the only reason I bring this up is mystery spot.com, which leads you to the California's page of it. Australia has one very similar that bought AU. They don't have a slanted house. It's just apparently it's just normal architecture. And well, they don't know what way gravity is supposed to go to anyway, anyway. That's what I thought. But if you apparently, if you empty a bottle of water inside the house in uh Australia, it empties sideways, which is wild. Um, I didn't have time to explore a lot of like the claims and the veracity of it. I'm convinced that it's just like an obvious fucking tourist trap type thing where optical illusions and other things just prey on your mind. However, um, the claims that science hasn't been able to explain some of these areas is kind of wild. Um, I don't know if that has anything to do with the fact that no one has paid for a scientific evaluation, or if they actually have tried and just can't. Um, I will say the video that I saw of somebody pouring a bottle of water out sideways was super fucking mind-bendy. So it's cool. If it's real, awesome. I doubt it is. If it isn't, holy shit, that's a lot of effort just to make people feel disoriented. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm just eight bucks a ticket.

SPEAKER_10 16:49

I'm looking at this picture on on mysteryspot.com of this house, and it's just very clearly built on a slant.

SPEAKER_03 16:55

Yeah, like yeah. Oh, absolutely. And they tell you that on the tour, but one of the it is built into the side of a hill, and one thing they say is that because it's built, the angles you're allowed to achieve inside the house apparently are way, way, way more acute than it would be if you were in any other place on Earth because of this gravitational anomaly. And you do see a lot of people standing like basically on the wall sometimes, and the house is built at like a 30-degree angle. So math might help you out there by saying six 60 degrees difference is kind of a lot, there's a lot of downforce there, but also I could also see this being a very giant optical illusion that just takes advantage of the public because capitalism. Why not?

SPEAKER_04 17:43

We must build the house very, very angled so that when you stand, it looks like you are sideways.

SPEAKER_10 17:50

I like your traditional Santa Cruz accent.

SPEAKER_03 17:54

I think it sounds Latvian, but no, Mike knows.

SPEAKER_05 17:58

I think what I was mimicking because I think he sent me a Digimon video. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 18:04

It's freaking sweet. Freaking give give give the angels very big boobs. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

Uh but no, these mystery spots that contain gravitational anomalies apparently exist all over the world. There are areas that are cordoned off where you can go see them. There's guided tours, which again convinces me that it's probably not real, it's probably some kind of optical illusion. But the fact that there's no actual scientific explanation that's at least been applied as of yet, it's just, I don't know, it's kind of interesting. It's fascinating, and I think it'd be fun to experience, even if it is all optical illusion.

SPEAKER_07 18:44

You're interesting and fascinating and fun to experience. No, I'm not. No, stop lying to the people. What? It's so gravitational. Did you see the did you see my post? Yeah. It's so gravitational. Um Moody, Moody Moody, rocking everywhere. What you got?

SPEAKER_09 19:05

Alright. Without giving too much away, do we want socks? Or do we want socks? Worse. Or do we want color changing cats?

SPEAKER_07 19:22

Uh worse than cum socks, please. Come socks. We'll end on the high note of the color changes.

SPEAKER_10 19:31

No.

The Poop Sock Confession

SPEAKER_10 19:33

Alright, so I'm not going to read the title of this post because it explains what's going on, and I don't want that to happen. Right. But this is a post from seven years ago by a user named What To Do Bedroom. And I'm just gonna read it. So I don't even know where to start with this. I'm dumbfounded. She, as in this guy's girlfriend, just stormed out of the house and I'm sitting on the bed asking myself a lot of questions. I live a pretty normal life, and I thought so did my girlfriend. We've been together for a few months and after things got serious, we moved in together. We started sharing a lot of the household responsibilities, but the one thing she was adamant on was doing the laundry. She would come home and find me in the bedroom getting the laundry together and would quickly ask me to go do something else. I'd come back to finish the laundry and she would have already started it. I always thought it was sweet and never her job to do it alone, but hey, if it makes her happy to do it all the time, I won't stop her. This is where it gets tur the this is where it takes a turn for the weird. I keep all of my socks and underwear in the bottom drawer of my dresser. I always go to the gym frequently, so I always keep a good supply of clean gem socks ready to go. I never kept count, but I know by just visual glance that I have several pairs. This morning, when I went to grab a fresh pair to pack for the gym, I noticed that there were several dress socks, but no gem socks. Again, not weird. They must have been in the laundry. I went to check the laundry basket and it was empty. So I checked the washing machine and dryer. Both were empty. I couldn't figure out where all of my gem socks had gone, so I did the very natural thing of asking my girlfriend what had happened to them. After all, she's the one that does the laundry all the time. She went silent, turned red, and ran out of the room. When I went to her to see if she was okay, she wouldn't talk to me. I told her I wasn't mad, I was just looking for my socks, and she kind of mumbled, I don't know. I still wasn't mad, of course, but I was super confused. Socks don't just disappear, so I asked her again, even laughed about it, and she just looked at me, got mad, and said, I'll buy you new ones. The first thought that went through my head was that she had somehow managed to destroy my socks while washing them. I thought the sight of that was actually pretty I think this is supposed to say thought. I thought the thought of that was actually pretty funny, so I joked with her about ruining my socks. Wrong thing to say. She started immediately crying, like full on sobbing. At this point, I don't care about the socks anymore. I want to know what's wrong. With my girlfriend. I sat down next to her on the bed and I put my arm around her and asked her if she was okay. She just kept saying that she was sorry and that she would buy me new socks. I tried reassuring her again that it was okay. I even went as far as to say I would buy new socks and she didn't have to. I sat with her for a few minutes trying to calm her down and eventually had to get ready for work. I told her I loved her and I got my things together to leave for the day. On my way out, I grabbed the garbage to take outside. When I got outside, I lifted the lid off the garbage can and I noticed a small plastic bag sitting on top of the garbage already in there. I could see through the bag, kind of the semi-see-through ones, that there were socks in the bag. Since I was sure she had somehow managed to ruin the socks by washing them, I wanted to see for myself. I opened the bag and immediately regretted my decision. There, inside the bag were several pairs of my gem socks covered in what looked like poop. As soon as the smell hit me, I knew it was poop. One, we don't have any pets. Two, we don't have any children.

SPEAKER_03 23:02

Three, I'm really happy you made both of those clarifications right off the bat because god damn.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

Right. Three, whose poop is on my socks? Who shit my socks? Who shit my socks? Work could wait. She did. Work could wait. I couldn't go the rest of the day wondering why my gem socks were covered in poop and inside a plastic bag in the garbage can. I grabbed the bag and walked back inside. As soon as my girlfriend saw the bag.

SPEAKER_07 23:32

You don't need to bring that back.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Oh no, that's a receipt, my friend. As soon as my girlfriend saw the bag, she flipped out and started yelling at me.

SPEAKER_10 23:41

She said I shouldn't be going through the garbage and that I was disgusting for bringing it back to the house. I asked her to calm down and that I was just I just wanted an answer as to why there was poop on my socks. I wasn't blaming her, but she started accusing me of blaming her, and that's when it clicked. I don't know what it was that led me to ask this, but everything led up to this moment, and it had just been so crazy. I asked her, is this your poop? She started sobbing again and ran out of the house. I didn't go after her this time. So now I'm sitting on my bed with a bag of poopy socks on the floor and a lot of questions in my head. The only conclusion is that she used them after going to the bathroom, which that alone is its own set of questions above everything else. I sent her a text asking her to come back. She hasn't responded yet, and I don't know what I'm going to say if she gets back. There is an update. Does anybody have anything to say before I read this?

SPEAKER_03 24:30

I'm pretty sure that the toilet paper dispenser ran out, and there might have been a bunch of socks on the floor in the bathroom. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:44

Oh, yeah, Doug, shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_10 24:46

I had to leave for work and now I'm at work. Yes, I threw away the bag of poopy socks. She texted me back and she's clearly embarrassed, but she felt she owed me an explanation. She said she she she she she shows she shit shocks. She shit socks down by the sneak jar. She said she didn't want to talk about it in person and that we could discuss it over texting and to not bring it up in person. I'm condensing the conversation and filling in some gaps as best I can. Her responses were super short, but I'm getting the idea. I flat out asked her if it was a fetish. It is not a fetish. She confessed to using the socks after going to the bathroom. I found the reason she always does the laundry is because she was hiding the fact that she uses my socks to wipe with, primarily her own. I had no reason to question the amount of socks that she has because who pays attention to that kind of thing? She thought I would notice and then think it was weird since she didn't own many socks. She admitted that she had done this for a long time. Her reasoning, as best as I can understand, is that because she's a germophobe, that she's afraid of toilet paper, the the toilet paper will tear, and she's afraid of getting poop on her hands in any way. She uses socks because it covers her entire hand. After she's done with them, she throws them away. She used mine because she didn't have any of her own socks. So my girlfriend has a fear of getting poop on her hands, and she wipes with socks and has done so for a long time.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

It's full of feet juice. It's full of feet juice. Yeah. I don't care who you are.

SPEAKER_10 26:13

Many people in the comments rightfully brought up that you can buy a pack of like a hundred gloves for like, I don't know, like five bucks or something.

SPEAKER_03 26:21

Yeah, they're so cheap. Surgical gloves are like 20 bucks a fucking bug.

SPEAKER_05 26:26

Migging the shit right out of your ass after you poop, huh?

SPEAKER_03 26:30

Just use a shot.

SPEAKER_05 26:32

Right.

SPEAKER_09 26:32

That's the other thing. Yeah, that's the thing. If you're gonna be feeling it, yeah. Yep. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 26:38

Cut out the middleman, which is this guy right here. Uh, yeah, get rid of that and go fucking handless, go wipeless. Don't use his socks.

SPEAKER_05 26:51

Dude, same.

SPEAKER_10 26:52

But so my question is like, if she's washing the socks, then why I don't think that matters to me. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, obviously they're not white socks because there's no way you're getting that out.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

There's no way. They've got to be like a like black sock, black cruise socks or some like socks are also thinks hiking socks.

SPEAKER_07 27:17

Like the the poop would go through the socks. They're porous. They are very porous.

SPEAKER_10 27:24

Yeah, you ever shit your pants before? It goes through your underwear into your pants. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:29

Like Matt would know. I would know. I've done it. Last time I got poop in my shoes, my socks didn't protect me. Nope.

SPEAKER_10 27:41

That's kind of their whole deal. They're absorbent so that when your feet sweat, it they soak it up instead of it just like pooling in your shoes.

SPEAKER_03 27:49

So if you poop on your feet, it you just get to experience that longer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:56

Exactly. I can get a good bidet for like 40 bucks right now.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

Oh, it's so cheap. They're so cheap. And they are so worth it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 28:08

Trying to get that ass shot up, bruh. No.

SPEAKER_03 28:13

Power wash your butthole. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_10 28:15

Now there are more updates to this if you're invested.

SPEAKER_03 28:19

Oh god. Yes, why? Are they worth it?

SPEAKER_10 28:22

There's not much. It's just I, 29. So they broke up because of this because she freaked out and basically just had her roommate just come get all of her shit and move her out because she couldn't face him. Anyway.

SPEAKER_08 28:37

So how she okay.

SPEAKER_10 28:39

Like a year later, he posted and said, I, 29 male, am back together with my 27F poop socks group. And I'm and I'm going to propose.

SPEAKER_07 28:51

Oh, love finds a way, people.

SPEAKER_05 28:53

And then he's gonna put the ring in a sock.

SPEAKER_03 28:55

It better be a ring in a sock. It better fucking be a ring in a sock.

SPEAKER_10 29:00

And then when COVID happened, because this this originally was seven years ago, mind you. When COVID happened, remember all the toilet paper running out? Because everybody went to the store and bought the fucking toilet paper. Did he start doing the paper? He posts this. Which is a which is a picture of his hand inside a sock with like the meme text, and it just says, maybe she was right.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_10 29:37

That's so wasteful.

SPEAKER_07 29:39

No.

SPEAKER_10 29:40

Ah, the good old poop sock.

SPEAKER_07 29:43

Combined with the poop knife, man. You got yourself a whole fucking set.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

That's a toe knife, by the way. Uh poop knife? Fuck. I mean, no, there's a poop spoon, as far as I know. Poop knife? Is there a poop knife?

SPEAKER_07 29:58

You better believe it, baby. There's a family used poop knife.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

I hate that you're about to ruin my my Google forever.

SPEAKER_07 30:06

Can't ruin it more than how I just used believe me.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

I may. Oh no, you're right. Yep. Oh, wow. Wait, you guys don't know about poop knife? Apparently, you don't know about poop knife. I did not know about poop knife. You've never heard the poop. That's a red class. That's crazy. I was thinking this five years ago.

SPEAKER_10 30:28

Swansa Dagaba, cum box. I broke both of my arms, and poop knife.

SPEAKER_07 30:34

And uh Starburst. And the closest I had to digaba.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

That's the song. Was that what that was called? Yeah. Yeah. When I backpacked through uh Costa Rica, there was a bathroom that we had to use a spoon to shove the poop down it. It's as close as I got to whatever the fuck that is. It's called a poop spoon. Yeah, I don't like that. It sat right next to the tarantula hole in the shower. Uh if you're wondering.

SPEAKER_10 31:02

Poop night family needs to start fiber maxing. That's what I'm saying.

A Creepy Playing Card Warning

SPEAKER_07 31:10

I have a couple quickies for us. Let me go through my first ones. First and foremost, I'm gonna drop the link in the patron chat.

SPEAKER_10 31:18

But Doug had the shorts, and you got the quickies.

SPEAKER_06 31:21

Yeah, man. This is oh, don't worry. I got I got this just popped up on my front page. I want you to explain this. I want to know what's going on. This is called this from R slash what is it?

SPEAKER_07 31:30

It's found this on my front door. I'm not superstitious. Maybe it's a joke. No, is it the playing card? It is the playing card. I have no clue who would do this. I haven't touched it. My girlfriend has. And spelled right, whatever. I know what I'm looking at. And it's a playing card, it's a six of spades, and on it is like this like symbol. It's like a cross, and then underneath it's like a square, and then it has etched in it, it says good luck, and on the back it says you didn't lock. And there's no updates yet. This is like from today. This is oh dude, it's so fucking new.

SPEAKER_03 32:06

Yeah, actually, it says you don't lock. Yeah, you don't there's no N. It's just DOT. Yeah, yeah. But have you have any of you guys ever seen Alice in Borderland on Netflix? Yeah. No. Or read the manga.

SPEAKER_10 32:19

I've seen the first three seasons.

SPEAKER_03 32:21

I haven't seen uh cool. Whatever that's new, that's all the seasons, dude.

SPEAKER_10 32:25

Oh, is it? Maybe I haven't seen the third season. Maybe I've only seen the first two.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

Uh the manga only follows the first two. The last season is outside of their scope. It was just whatever Netflix wanted to do.

SPEAKER_10 32:35

I started watching the third one and didn't think it was very good.

SPEAKER_03 32:38

It's it's I would I would have ended it after two, is what I would have done. I thought it was I enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_05 32:44

I was gonna say the first two seasons were awesome.

SPEAKER_03 32:46

I didn't watch the third one yet, but I I liked the the first one it tried to tie too many like existential life lessons into it, and I'm like, um that's not what this is about.

SPEAKER_10 32:55

Mike, I know you got your thing, but like the that we're about this now.

SPEAKER_08 32:58

So yeah, yeah, we're sorry, dude. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_03 33:02

The playing card done the the post of of that just a fucking shot of a playing card, the six of spades or seven of spades or whatever, it just reminded me of Alice in Borderlands so fucking hard, especially with the cryptic message. I saw that the other day, and I'm like, I don't know what this means, and I'm sure I don't need to remember this. But here we are. That's fair.

SPEAKER_07 33:24

So it turns out that the symbols I talk about, where it's like that weird cross with a square underneath it, that is like ch Mandarin for for the word good luck. The the well, the top comment, or one of the top comments, um, is by someone who says you didn't lock, as in they're referencing that uh phrase on the back of the card. And OP even says, uh, yeah, and the cherry on top is that my girlfriend got home last night, and when I got up this morning, the door was unlocked, she forgot to lock it last night.

SPEAKER_03 33:55

Um, so someone squid game music we can play right now.

SPEAKER_07 34:03

We might need it, we might need it. Um but there there's a couple other comments. One of them says, Holy shit, where did you find this card? That's my card. Well, I mean I gave it to someone but made that card back in 2022. I made that card in Dayton, Ohio, trying to pick up an Asian girl, ended miserably, but still, holy shit, I can't believe it was tossed in the trash. So there's a whole like the there's a lot of these comments that are trying to piece together what this is, where it's coming from. Um, there's someone who says, I started collecting playing cards I found on the street in San Francisco and found more than an entire deck. I was telling my friend about it, and he said he'd done the same thing. The spades represent intellect, Darwinian mind, and the scientific method and approach. The six is a shared exercise. Together, they are a plateau of thinking, a shared outlook on life that feels right and balanced. Uh, that guy's full of it. Let me tell you that. But I wanted to bring this one up because ain't this the weirdest, creepiest fucking thing?

SPEAKER_03 35:07

Ain't this the creepiest fucking thing? I dude, I I kind of hope it is a viral marketing campaign for like another season of Alice in Borderland or something.

SPEAKER_05 35:15

I missed probably all of the important parts of this because my cat was going to barf on top of my desk. Yeah, it's on. And I had to move him. I was wondering what was happening over there. Yeah. I I need I need to clean it, but I we'll do that after this.

SPEAKER_07 35:32

You're in this now. Go look that up, people. And it's R slash what is it from trippy red. It's it's just a creepy card, and there may be updates by the time this episode comes out. Who knows?

SPEAKER_03 35:43

It's hopefully a breadcrumb. Hopefully. Sick. Or it's just one of those, you know, schizophrenic letters that people receive on the random. Could be it. One of the two.

SPEAKER_07 35:55

Weird Douglas.

SPEAKER_05 35:58

You got any more? I have another short little bit I can do because the last thing I'll talk about is probably more substance related.

Ant Problems And Porn Reality Worlds

SPEAKER_05 36:08

But so again, stop me if I've someone's fucking talked about this because apparently I just picked everything we've already talked about. Um, so I went down a rabbit hole of a lot of the X were X world problems Reddits. Have we ever talked about this?

SPEAKER_10 36:29

Yeah, we've already talked about this.

unknown 36:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 36:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 36:33

I was like I was legitimately going to say that regardless of what you said, just to fuck with you, but actually legitimately we have done this.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

I know we've done fifth world problems. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 36:43

Which ones have we talked about? Because I have 28th world and 69th world problems. Oh, the two.

SPEAKER_03 36:50

I think we've only done we encompassed a lot of them by s talking about fifth world problems and just saying there's a bunch more out there, but like, yeah, I think we only get fifth world problems. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:01

I'll I'll stick, I'll keep it light then. But long story short, there's like like literally like one through 999. Like, I'm not even kidding you, there's so many of these that I went through this rabbit hole and I was like, all right, I'm gonna pick a couple that I thought had the funniest premise. Now I'm gonna tell you, there's like this respectively have like 13 to 6 viewers weekly. So like there's not a whole lot of action in them, uh, but their premise is the funniest thing in like the whole this uh situation. So 28th world problems are all posts that are problems from the perspective of an ant. Oh, yeah. So basically, everything looks to be like a machine simulation of an ant colony. Yeah, love it when you look at the posts. Um, so like you have like someone just posted a picture of some ants holding leaves, and it just says, Come on. And then it's just how it feels going to war for for the queen, and it's just like an ant, and then like another ant, and it just one says me.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Oh yeah, it's just very hive mind bullshit.

SPEAKER_05 38:22

So it's just like really, really dumb shit like that. And if you have some time, you can go through it. But so that's 28th world problems. Now, 69th world problems is kind of what I assume you'd expect it. Is but these are problems from the perspective that all porn scenarios are real. So uh so one guy says, All of my fingers are phalluses, and the limbs between my leg is cramping so hard I can't write my essay. Uh, and then someone said, Got a new stepmom today. The family tree probably looks like a teapot now because you know I fucked her. Just like the most random shit, you know what I'm saying? My family tree is a teapot. Uh, someone said they're they're still fucking in front of my salad. Shake my head. Um, let's see, what else? Uh I'm a secretary. I still haven't figured out what the phone is for. Um, yeah. So just really stupid shit like that. Uh I thought it was very funny.

SPEAKER_10 39:35

But it's been so long since I've been called to actually fix someone's drain that I forgot how to be a plumber.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

I love this. This is fantastic.

SPEAKER_05 39:49

Yeah, it's pretty good. There's like, like I said, there's like a ton of these. Like you, if you just Google world problems like list, there's a there's like a post, a master post that has all of them in it. And like it, like I said, there's like it's like 999th world problem, and it's like uh like problems from like a simulated like machine like world or something. Like just yeah, it goes like really in depth, like it the further out you get, but yeah, it's pretty funny. I I thought it was I I had a good time reading through some of them, but those two specifically were like the the funnier ones that I found.

SPEAKER_03 40:24

That reminds me of uh fifth world gone wild, where it's supposed to be super pornographic photos or images of something or someone that exists in the fifth dimension. So, whatever that means, yeah, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_05 40:43

Hell yeah. Uh but yeah, that was that was my second to last one.

SPEAKER_09 40:46

So fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:49

I love it. It's a good one.

SPEAKER_09 40:52

Who's next?

SPEAKER_03 40:54

You um you I have a fun

The Abandoned Manor And Djinn Lore

SPEAKER_03 41:00

one. Um, I found um a uh a decently long post, and it's on a Reddit that I I frequent called uh High Strangeness. I don't know if you guys are also frequently there. Oh yeah. It's fun. There's a lot of bat shit insane people there. Um, but every once in a while is from there. Oh dude, hell yeah. It's it's all it's fucking bat shit, but every once in a while you get something based in reality, and that's what I found today. And so there's a post all about a 130 million dollar manor, more or less. Um it was built by someone uh named uh what is his name? Sheikh Abdalous. Sheikh Abdulaziz bin Humade al-Kassami. At least I'm alright, yeah. Yeah, spent about five hundred million dollars uh to build a palace. Uh that was meant to be a masterpiece of Islamic, Moroccan, and Persian architecture. It was a 35-room marvel with marble floors, crystal chandeliers in the works. Yet, legend has it that the family only spent one night here, and that's actually true. They did only spend one night there. Uh, the first night they were there, it was all good. In the morning of the next day, um, a tree was cut down. It was one of the only trees on the property, and they were cutting it down to make room for whatever the fuck they were doing there. However, this tree apparently had some history to it. It apparently was a petrified tree that was so old that people thought that it was a part of the djinn civilization, which, if you look into uh oh man, non-American mythology, uh, you'll find a lot of things about djinns, which are these spirits that people equate to genies that grant wishes with super fucked up repercussions.

SPEAKER_10 43:16

Um, one of the things about various types of thing in Phasmophobia for sure.

SPEAKER_03 43:21

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 43:22

Yeah, have you ever seen Wishmaster?

SPEAKER_03 43:25

Yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I love Wishmaster. Yeah, that movie for Jesus left.

SPEAKER_07 43:31

Well, there's also the song that Snoop Dogg does where he talks about gins.

SPEAKER_05 43:37

Come on, Matt, you're you gotta follow it up.

SPEAKER_06 43:41

No, no, it's fine. I did one and then he did one.

SPEAKER_10 43:45

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll he can have this one. It's fine.

SPEAKER_05 43:52

We're just gonna let him keep getting away with it.

SPEAKER_03 43:55

So apparently, this uh this petrified tree was a Relic of an old, old, ancient djinn civilization, and it was a relic in the area. The reason I say that is because a lot of these relics in the area do represent different djinns that were quote unquote supposed to have existed either before humans, same time as humans granting wishes, whatever. This is in the same area. Was it in the Bombay region? Uh no, it was where was it?

SPEAKER_10 44:33

It was in the middle of a desert. I see you, Doug. I just I don't want to make him feel bad. That's all it is.

SPEAKER_05 44:42

So let him crash and burn on his own, I guess. Yeah, that one did not hit.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

The sheik, again, this is 1985, is when this was built. Um, the chic built a it's a $500 million manor in the middle of nowhere. They cut one petrified tree down, and as soon as that happened, they started seeing all sorts of shit. Children's faces screaming in the windows, furniture moving by itself, even outside the land. There's uh cars in the driveway moving uphill by themselves. It was almost immediate, pretty much as soon as this tree got taken out, paranormal activity to the max. Um, the thing that makes this weird is that if you were to search about a mile south of this manor, you would find the central, like the heart of uh an old tribe of individuals that were known by the djinn, not Dj I N N, just J-I-N-N. Very old, very ancient. They had some very nomadic tribes, but they consecrated said land and said, This is not good land, we can't live or build here, so we will avoid it. That was thousands of years ago. Come back to 1985, a sheik decides to build a fucking manor on top of it, and he's getting furniture thrown all over the place. His cars are rolling out of the driveway uphill and into the middle of the goddamn road. Um, all sorts of paranormal activity all over the place. Um, so they spent one night there. After that, they left, and ever since they left that night, this has sat abandoned. So, what is it, 2026? This is about 41 years almost that this has been just sitting abandoned. Now it's a museum for the paranormal. Um, and a lot of people go there with the hopes of finding some kind of proof of paranormal activity, they bring their ghost hunting gear, whatever they might want. Um, however, one of the other claims of this area is in line with my other po my other uh topic with the mystery spots, is this is a gravitational anomaly. Because apparently, at the bottom floor of this manor, as long as something weighs about as much as a granite bowl, couldn't tell you what that weight is, um, it will f levitate off the surface of anything that you put it on. It'll just start floating. Um, you can also, you know, book a room there if you'd like to go stay overnight as a tourist attraction to see what you can see. Oh, and I wish they didn't go away. Yeah, yep, pretty much. Anything that you can pay a price to go get an experience for, I'm almost positive, has been fluffed up.

SPEAKER_07 47:39

Hampered.

SPEAKER_03 47:40

Um, but again, 1985, ever since this closed down, this has been a hot spot of paranormal activity. Um, and the thought process is that this chic actually unleashed a gin on the land. They think that the anchor was that petrified tree, the ancient petrified tree. And as soon as they got rid of that, because that does line up with all the activity, the chosen spaces, the cars moving uphill, the the uh anything you could possibly think of that comes to mind with gravitational anomalies or paranormal activity happened right after they got down got rid of this uh petrified tree.

SPEAKER_09 48:23

They done fucked up. They did. But no one can explain it to this day.

SPEAKER_05 48:30

That's why you you leave the alone.

SPEAKER_00 48:33

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:34

This has been unexplained with William Shatner.

SPEAKER_07 48:39

I forgot that show existed. This has been eerie, Indiana with Jason.

SPEAKER_03 48:45

If you guys are ever in the uh the region of the UAE and decide to visit um the Sheik's estate, I think it would be a fun time. I think it would be creepy, and I think, you know, listeners, what do you think? You want to give us about thirty thousand dollars to go over there, all expenses paid? Just listen up.

SPEAKER_08 49:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 49:08

We'll make it a new Patreon tier. Yeah. You can come with us.

SPEAKER_09 49:12

Maybe we can fly the newly uh communist spirit airlines.

SPEAKER_03 49:20

I like that instead of bankruptcy, you said newly communist.

SPEAKER_10 49:25

Well, there's like a there's like a horde of people on TikTok trying to buy it. Which is wild because why?

SPEAKER_07 49:35

Spirit airlines, they can't survive off of Halloween stores.

SPEAKER_10 49:40

That's what they should do with them. They should take they should take all the airplanes and just like park them in empty parking lots and turn them into spirit Halloween.

SPEAKER_03 49:47

Oh yeah. That's not a terrible idea.

SPEAKER_07 49:52

Oh, Muthalamul J Simpsan.

SPEAKER_03 49:55

All right, we go really good idea.

SPEAKER_02 49:57

We're going with color changing cats this time.

Why Everything Turns Green

SPEAKER_10 50:02

So this is a post. This is a post from a year ago by one Miora M-I-O-R-A-A in our cleaning tips titled Everything in My House is Turning Green. And it opens with a picture of this lady's cat, and it's a white cat that has a slightly green tint to it, and then she shows off some of her sheets, also slightly green. Um, and the idea here is this lady's entire fucking house is white, but there's like tents of green that are showing up on things. She's got like a picture of her wall where there's a smudge of green on it, and the text says, Everything in my house is turning green. At first it was my cat, and then it was my bed sheets, my feet, which then stained my shoes and socks, my couch, my phone charger, and now my wall. I don't know what it is. I have no idea where to post this, but I'm wondering if anyone knows how to get rid of it or what it is. At first I thought it was mold, but now I'm thinking that maybe laundry detergent pods, uh maybe they're my laundry detergent pods, which are green. And I did a test wash and dried it, and it didn't stain my clothes until I wore them for a few hours around the house, and it turned green again. Now, what are you guys' theories?

SPEAKER_03 51:23

It sounds like a large density of oxidized copper sitting in the air that tends to land on things, and then that's a good one. The oxidizing properties of copper is it turns hit green.

SPEAKER_10 51:35

That is the first comment. Okay No. They did some sort of test or something, figured out that's not what it is.

SPEAKER_08 51:43

Did they born chlorophyll?

SPEAKER_07 51:51

Is there did they have like green crayons that fell into like an air vent and just melted or something?

SPEAKER_03 51:59

Are their eyes green tinted? What is it? Like their eyes have turned green and not tinted green.

SPEAKER_10 52:07

That was my first thought, actually, believe it or not. That was my first thought was that they were actually just imagining it. But they do have photo evidence of this happening. But yeah, that was when I first saw the text and like the description of what this was, I was like, it's probably some sort of psychological thing or like something that's wrong with their eyes. But no, these things are actually turning green.

SPEAKER_03 52:27

If the cones in your eyes are turned like half a degree in the wrong way, you can see everything around you wrong.

SPEAKER_09 52:37

What happened?

SPEAKER_10 52:38

But okay. So not that it wasn't the copper, and some various people are posing different ideas. One person says this is a long shot, but maybe check under your bed if you have box springs or under any furniture. Sometimes the material that's used in furniture will degrade and break up over time and dye things. Uh copper, yeah. Yeah. Other people said, um, like, what's up with the cat? Did you take it to the vet? She said, Yeah, I took it to the vet, and they couldn't figure out anything that was wrong with it. It seems like it's fine. Um, one person said, This happened in my aunt's apartment after a lack of ductwork slash cleaning air filters being neglected. It was annoying and it ruined her white carpet. The prevailing theory here is copper. Now, one person says, Did you possibly just buy some jeans from old navy? They are notorious for staining everything, which I can back up. I've had some jeans like black jeans from old navy. The dye that they use in old navy jeans is horrid, and it stinks and it does bleed for a really long time.

SPEAKER_03 53:42

And did they use copper as a preservative? Because it is a natural antimicrobial.

SPEAKER_10 53:48

Maybe, I don't know. But I can I can back up that old navy jeans do do be stinking and bleeding dye onto everything. So old navy jeans. She said no, me and my husband, neither one of us wear jeans.

SPEAKER_05 54:04

And then we don't do that shit here.

SPEAKER_10 54:07

And and it seemed as though the mystery was not was not going to be solved until a few a couple weeks later, she posts an update, and she says, Update, everything in my house is turning green. Hi. So I don't know if this is allowed, but I wanted to post an update to my original poster that many, many people because many, many people asked for one. Here's the update. I had my water and my air conditioning checked, and both were fine. The technician said that my water hardness was a bit hard, but he didn't think that that would affect the green stains that I've been seeing. I've also got rid of all the the bed sheets because I had in that I had in the picture because and I put back on my boring corporate beige ones the day I posted the original post, and then I waited. It's funny because trying to determine if the green stains were going away based on my cat on if my cat was turning green, anytime I saw she was becoming greener, I determined that whatever I changed wasn't the cause. Well, I got my water softened and with my new bed sheets, my cat was still turning green, but a lot slower. So maybe it was just from residual green that was now staining my couch and then the bed frame. Then we had another person inspect it for mold, which was also negative. Some other commenters had mentioned that they had bought the same bed sheets on Amazon and had a similar problem, so I thought it was that. On another note, someone also commented asking if my husband was cheating on me with someone who wears old Navy jeans. I won't lie, when that came up, I nervously laughed. I quickly checked our joint bank account for any old Navy purchases. While there weren't any, I couldn't shake this strange feeling. Although the commenter did not know me or my husband, coincidentally, I've already had suspicions on a possible affair from the multiple last-minute overtime shifts and just overall changes in behavior. Also, my husband has cheated before, so I've always been a bit anxious. So when I saw the comment joking about my husband's affair partner wearing old Navy jeans, I spiraled. And then I admit that I did the bad thing and I looked through my husband's phone, and there it was. Some sexy Instagram DMs from a woman who wears jeans. So anyway, I spent the last week at my parents' house with my cat.

SPEAKER_03 56:07

Dude, a lot of jeans that are stretchy use copper to help maintain elasticity as well as cleanliness. Because copper is stretchy and also a like a full antimicrobial. We use copper in surgery all the time.

SPEAKER_10 56:26

Maybe that's why some of them smell so bad, because it is like a kind of like a metallic smell.

SPEAKER_03 56:30

Yeah. Well, blood and copper smell the same.

SPEAKER_10 56:33

But anyway, not a hundred percent confirmed, but the prevailing theory here is that this woman was wearing her jeans around the house and rubbing her old navy booty all over stuff and it was spreading all over her white shit.

SPEAKER_03 56:48

I've got old navy but I've got socks infused with copper to make sure my feet don't smell. So yeah, if you're if you have a bad smelling butthole, great. Wear some copper jeans.

SPEAKER_09 57:01

It's a natural filter.

SPEAKER_08 57:05

And a natural smell.

SPEAKER_09 57:06

And a natural smell. Well shit fuck. God damn.

SPEAKER_07 57:12

All that for a while.

SPEAKER_03 57:13

This is a wild scenario. That's a sitcom scenario, is what that is. Kind of is. Like if I I if I saw that on like how I met your mother, I'd be like, yep, 100%. Yeah, this makes sense.

SPEAKER_10 57:24

There was definitely some sitting involved, but I don't know that it was really that funny. It was on a face, I'm pretty sure though. Probably also smelled like copper, if we're being totally honest.

SPEAKER_03 57:36

That man probably had the best smell of copper he's ever had in his life. What what what's our time at?

SPEAKER_10 57:43

Uh one hour and four minutes.

SPEAKER_07 57:45

God damn. All right, I'll do one more. Damn and we'll go from there.

SPEAKER_05 57:50

I don't I don't have to do my last one either.

SPEAKER_07 57:52

So yeah, I'll just do one more.

Food Served On Anything But Plates

SPEAKER_07 57:54

This is uh called uh R/slash we want plates. Fuck yes. Yeah, it's just uh there are videos and pictures of people eating food off of everything anything that is not a plate. So like there's people that are eating food off of uh like a wheelbarrow. There's like uh someone eating off of a tennis racket. There's a guy who like just our slash cup. Yeah, yeah, basically that. There's uh like this restaurant just furls out this like drape over a table, and they're just like splashing powder and shit down, and they're just making food on this table mat in front of them, and you just eat off of that. Uh, there's a bunch of fried chicken and shit in a sink. They just give you a sink, a kitchen sink filled with fried chicken. Yeah, so bunch of bunch of foods. I thought it was very interesting. I went down the hole. There's a brick just eating burgers off of a brick. Um very weird. Very, very weird, but it's very satisfying to see, if I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_10 58:57

Yeah, I think the whole idea of this subreddit is people are like being pissed off because these like weird like hipster restaurants serve shit and stuff that isn't plates or bowls.

SPEAKER_03 59:09

I cooked this in the sun under a mushroom, and that's probably fine. Yeah. Let's pay $19 for it.

SPEAKER_07 59:18

Honestly, that's a deal.

SPEAKER_05 59:21

Would you like your churros served on a plate that looks like a helicopter? Because that's what they do at senior frogs.

SPEAKER_03 59:35

That was the most Florida sentence I've ever heard. I've never been, I've just seen pictures. You know, they had senior frogs in Grand Cayman, and it lasted one year total before the locals ran them out of business.

SPEAKER_05 59:55

That makes sense because it's just the dumbest place ever. Oh, it's tour, it's tourist hell, is what it is.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:01

Yeah. Um, well, I guess I'll probably leave it at that. Um, I guess just for a quick fun one, you go to R slash ac and ACK, and it's exactly what you think. It's a bunch of posts, and they're all speaking like the Martians from it's just it's just posts of like a picture of like George Clooney. It's just it's Mars attacks the subreddit. Yeah, it's very silly, but I I enjoy that one. Uh, but I'll leave it there. Uh I'll I'll I'll cover my other stuff on another episode. So that's the perfect place to leave this. Hell yeah, brother. Yeah.

Plugs Final Takes And Sign Off

SPEAKER_07 1:00:44

Well yeah, brother. Um, thank you so much, everyone, for joining us on this lovely, lovely day. Um, why don't you go ahead and go to uh patreon.com slash diluty pod or go to our websites, diluty.com. Uh get that merch, baby. Get that merch. Um and uh if you find a go to my favorite subreddit, it's called r slash kissing dads. Uh you'll probably enjoy it a lot. Uh uh Matt, what do you got for?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:13

Five days not safe for work and also it's not public anymore.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:18

Matt, what you got for the people?

SPEAKER_10 1:01:20

I finished this book, Soul Boom by Rain Wilson, and it was okay, I guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:27

Rain the Dwight from the Office?

SPEAKER_10 1:01:29

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mentioned this on a a couple weeks ago uh that I was starting this. It's about his religion um and his like belief in a thing that is God that isn't a man in the sky, and like some spiritual guidance stuff. I don't know. The whole thing kind of came across to me as like a guy, uh a famous rich actor being like, you guys just need to like be happier, like the have more money and be happier in this. Yes, and like be nicer to each other, obviously. I don't know. There's some interesting stuff in it, but I honestly by the time it was over, was like, I don't know if I even want to finish this, but I did.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:14

That's the spirit. You come in Jason, what you got?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:20

Well, as always, stay paranoid. Um, but also life's way too short, everybody. Just if you if if anyone has a problem with what we you want to do, fuck them. Go do it. Hell yeah. Don't even take the law into consideration. The law is more of a it's it's a bunch of guidelines, it's not like suggestions. Yeah, there's a bunch of suggestions. It's not really true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For legal reasons, they're all true. Don't listen to me. For legal reasons, this is a joke. I realize that treason is punishable by death.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:02

Yeah, well, if that was the case.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:09

We're doing it, baby. That's all I got. Done your life, assholes.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:14

Um I don't know. I guess the takeaway from if you should have any takeaway from this episode, it's that if you have some sort of problem in your daily life that could be easily solved by talking to those around you, instead, what you should do is you should get on Reddit, post about it, and let the internet tell you how to solve your issues.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:36

So slap those beans and beans together, bitches.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:39

I think the real big takeaway here is even if you sh use socks to wipe your ass, you can find love.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:48

Yeah, you should have a place in life.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:50

There's someone out there wiping their ass with a sock who is married and you're not. So remember that.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:54

So think about that. Think about that next time Rain Wilson tells you that you should just be happy.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:02

There's somebody who fucking just cleans their butthole with a sock, and their wife doesn't care.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:08

Maybe, maybe, maybe you're a guy out there who who maybe you're someone who like I don't know, tease into a fucking colander or something, and you're looking for that person that poops into a sock. You know, somebody for everybody. Yeah, there's somebody for everybody, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:26

Both of those feel like digs at me.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:29

It might be.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:32

When was the last time you got a good sink piss in?

SPEAKER_07 1:04:36

That was one of the subreddits. One of the subreddits I was gonna do is uh it was like R slash uh sync piss. Yeah, it was just pictures of a sync set you pissed in.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:46

It all got in the same place, but anyway.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:50

Bye everybody, have a blessed day.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:53

Don't have a blessed day.