DLUTI 241 - Alta Paradisus

This week, we set sail for Spooky Island with Alta Paradisus.

Transcript

Welcome And Stormy Absences

SPEAKER_08 0:16

Don't look under the internet.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Hello, everybody. Welcome to Don't Look Under the Internet. The internet's best podcast on Michael trying to get space back in his basement, but it doesn't work. I'm here with my host, Stug. What is good, friends? Matthew.

SPEAKER_05 0:50

What's bad?

SPEAKER_01 0:53

And me, what's alright? You know. We're back at it again today with a good one. Um, couple couple things I want to shout out. I'm gonna go ahead and get us into Daludi. Housekeeping here. First and foremost, you'll notice Jason's not here. He's potentially being sucked up by a tornado. Why do I say that? Because his ass is going to see Mumford and Sons in Dwigley Field. Of all things to do. Of all things to do during like the worst storms we've had in Illinois.

SPEAKER_05 1:25

I like how we were just making fun of what Mumford and Sons this weekend. You made it, you talked about Mumford and Sons this weekend. Yeah, like now here we are.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Everything's like, I said they suck. Got 'em.

SPEAKER_05 1:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

You know, they don't fear storms. Delay Mumford and stun's start in Wrigley Field. What? That's crazy. And Jimmy Eat World.

SPEAKER_05 1:45

Nothing can delay Millennial Hope Core.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Oh no, that's a different spot. Can Jimmy try to? I was gonna say that's a weird duo to be playing together, but Jimmy Eat World is at Northerly Island, which also got postponed. Can Jimmy try to eat Tornado instead of World?

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Maybe that'll help. Mumford and Tornado. Mumford and Tornado.

SPEAKER_05 2:06

Mumford and the sun's out. No more tornadoes.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

There it is. Anyway, more housekeeping. I want to shout out to uh we're gonna play the name or

The Name Game And AIM Handles

SPEAKER_01 2:16

the game name. Game name. We're gonna play the name game, game with the name. Jesus Christ. So I'm gonna shout out to Fritilag. Frit lag. Frit lag.

SPEAKER_05 2:28

Frit Frit lag. I saw him.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

What's up, Fritlag? Uh thank you for the sub. Boys, what do we think of the name?

SPEAKER_05 2:35

Sorry. I don't know what it means.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

I don't know. It's there's nothing to work with on that one. It's not that official.

SPEAKER_05 2:44

You're getting eating Fritos while you lag. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Happy Pride Month to you, Fritlag.

SPEAKER_05 2:51

It sounds like a gamer tag, like XX Frit lag XX.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Oh, Honda. Yeah. Dude, you remember? Oh man. Do you guys remember your aim screen names? Yep. Or any variant of them?

SPEAKER_05 3:03

Yep. XX Alien. XX with a zero.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

You had multiple?

unknown 3:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:09

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

I changed mine all the fucking time.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

Yeah, I had to catfishing.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Yeah. I had I had a bunch of like gamer tag ones where it was just like whatever clan like we were in at the time, and then my name and then you couldn't change it back then.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

Every time you got a new clan, you had to make a new account.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Yeah. Damn. But uh the one I started aim with was XX underscore HippoJuice XX. That's not a bad one. That is a good one. Hippo juice is fun.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Mine was just I don't know what the fuck I meant, but mine was Beast Boy 645. That was it. I was obsessed with Teen Titans as a kid. Cool. Thank you. That was also my email for a while, too. So go and send spam to that.

SPEAKER_05 3:56

For a while, all me and my Halo buddies changed our names to MLG and then the name of an extreme sport. So it was like MLG skateboard, MLG snowboard, MLG BMX.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

MLG uh MLG Cornhole.

SPEAKER_05 4:14

MLG Cornhole, exactly. You get it.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Yeah, I had you.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

MLG speedlunking.

Merch Debt And A Watery Segue

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Yeah, can we start that again, but only with sports on the Ocho? New merch, go get it. That could be. Somebody buy our merch that we spent money on. That includes housekeeping. Thanks. Boys, we we spent so much money on that merch that we have really sunk ourselves deep. We're drowning, you could say, in debt. Much like any other water-based things in the topic we're talking about today. How was that one? Is that good?

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Did you get you guys if you asked me what the title of this is, I wouldn't be able to tell you right now because my brain has decided that it forgot what the title of this episode is.

Why Alta Paradisis Stands Out

SPEAKER_00 5:04

We are talking about Ulta Paradisis.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Oh, yeah. Paradisis. Ulta Paradisesis by a uh a YouTube channel called Elite Horrors.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Now how did I find this one, you might ask? I'll never tell.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Okay, I'll tell you this one time. So, how did I find this? Uh I just I just my YouTube algorithm is kind of strange because it'll recommend me my videos that I watch, but every and so often it'll be like, hey, here's a here's a analog horror something that has like 2,000 views, 3,000 views. I'm like, oh that's how I found Greenboro too. I just stumbled upon it and it was pretty great. And I love it. Um this one is pretty short, uh, not to you know go into spoilers or anything, but you can knock this whole thing out in like half hour if you wanted to. Sure can. It's it's out of all the analog horrors, even though it follows some of the tropes, the fact that it's so short and everything's pretty tight, there's like no fat really to trim. There's not a whole lot, which I appreciate. So it may follow some of the tropes, but we'll get into it. And I I thoroughly enjoyed this. I thought it was pretty pleasant. But where do we start if not for if not for the beginning?

SPEAKER_05 6:23

We start right at the beginning, where that is, and that beginning is on the screen. That oh man, you guys can't see this, but I'm really fucking up the fucking OBS right now.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Hold on. Also, I do want to know, you go ahead and fix that. I do want to note. Uh, while we talk about this, they do have a playlist for Alta Paradis on the um the YouTube channel. It is in chronological order, not upload or order. So we're going to be following by this playlist, which is chronological order, because that seems to be what the uh creator intends.

SPEAKER_05 7:00

Sure. Whoops. Yep. Seems like they want you to watch in chronological order. So anyway, the first episode. The chronic. So this is a YouTube channel by the name of I guess it's Elite, but the E's are Epsilon's, I think that's what that fucking thing is. Sigma. So good luck fucking looking for that. Just type in Alta Paradisis, I guess. Um you'll find it. You'll find it. You'll find it. The first video is called The Trident

The Trident Project Nuclear Fallout

SPEAKER_05 7:32

Project. Now, first thing you're gonna notice right off the bat, boy howdy, we got our we got an analog slideshow. And um it it gives us some information. So, right off the bat, it tells us that this is all about nuclear shit. In 1949, the Soviet Union detonated their first nuclear device in Kazakhstan. Very nice. Two months later, they started designing nuclear submarines in France, and they hastily tested them, and the first one was tested in private, and the alright, now this is where I got out with everybody. We've probably already fucked up Paradesis. There's gonna be a bunch of shit in here that I'm not gonna get right. And you guys are just gonna have to live with that. We see the comments.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

It also um it also misspells its own thing. That's Paradesis and Yeah. Paradisis is spelled different multiple times.

SPEAKER_05 8:31

Yeah. These things happen.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Um I mean, when you make a a show like this, like you don't have to proofread anything. No, you just make it right.

SPEAKER_05 8:41

I've given up on that. Anyway, so uh they do they tested this fucking submarine in the Okotsk, Okotsk sea and assumed that NATO assigned and assumed the NATO assigned name Paradisis. Anyhow, so they got a fucking nuclear submarine, they're swimming it around in the ocean. We see a map of where this fucking sea is, and it's it's smack dab. It's like in that little fucking area off the edge, like off the east coast of Russia, where like Japan and Russia are the same thing. It's in that fucking area. And um so we find out that this didn't go well. And we're informed that the first test resulted in catastrophic failure. Who would have thought that the Russians back in the day, the fucking Soviets, they weren't all about testing things before they were production ready and having those blow up and kill life. That didn't happen a lot. They didn't just shoot a dog into space knowing it wasn't gonna come back.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Um the plan, it wasn't no, no, listen. When you shoot a dog into space, it's because you are trying to get something into space, not back out of space. Your goal is just to see if you can get it to stick, it doesn't have to come back down.

SPEAKER_05 9:54

Technically, they succeeded.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

You are correct, they've done it.

SPEAKER_05 10:00

So, anyway, the fucking submarine had a reactor malfunction. It fucking melted down. 80 crewmates on board and radioactive waste all over the goddamn place, including a nearby island called Sokalin, Sokaline, Sokalin, Sokaline Island, contaminating the rivers and water sources. You think at some point we get bullied enough about the way we pronounce things that as I was watching this, I would just look up how these things are pronounced. But nope. I'm not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Where's the fun in that?

SPEAKER_05 10:36

Yeah, where's the fun in that? So, anyway, the inhabitants of this island suffered terrible malformations after drinking river water, and we get some photographs of these motherfuckers, and these are the most racist looking photographs I have ever seen. They look like they're they're they're like black and white sketches of like some fucked up looking people, but the way they look to me is I guess the second one's kind of like creepypasta looking, but they kind of look to me like racist caricatures of some race that I I don't know. But that's that's what they'd be looking like. Anyway, we got like a 17-year-old. Yeah, we got like a 17-year-old, a 33-year-old, and we got a fucking four-year-old with like black weird eyes.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Four-year-old who looks 12 in the picture.

SPEAKER_05 11:28

Yeah, right. The like a four-year-old who has like a like a full head of hair.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Yeah. Anyway.

SPEAKER_05 11:36

Really caking on the lipstick, too. Um so anyway, they so what do they do? Not the Soviets traditionally not being dissuaded by catastrophic loss of life, they just fucking build another one. And they call this thing the Paradesis Dose.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

They also, I think, sent a monkey to space. So, you know. You learn something from the dog, you say fuck it, let's do it again. Just get another animal involved. Hell yeah. Space Chimps is a movie. Andy Sandberg is a monkey. Well is it animated? Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 12:15

Well, they're not they're they're sending regular old people chimps into these things. Um, so anyway, Paradesis 2 was a success. Um, but it still dumped a bunch of radioactive waste in the water. That's just like a you know, that these it happens, it happens. Successful, still irradiating the water. Uh and now it's starting to mutate the wildlife. So in 1950, there was a photograph taken of a life form hanging out in a lake in these hereabouts. And I gotta be honest, I don't really know what I'm looking at here. It's like a lake, and then they I it's I think based on what we find out later in the series, I believe these are tentacles, like uh tend to like antennae kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Tendrils, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:09

Yeah, tendrils, tendrils, that's the word I was looking for, sticking out of the water. Um, but yeah, again, real low res black photo.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

I like the name they give them though, like sea swords. I think that's kind of a cool name.

SPEAKER_05 13:20

Yeah. So they they're called sea swords or a toy umusi.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

Atoyamusi.

SPEAKER_05 13:29

Not a single thing's gonna be pronounced right, and that's fine. So anyway, after three or four months of uh like everybody on this fucking island died, and then the radiation like was still there, so irradiating things and killing people. That's what we'd be doing. So, what do we do after we irradiate every and kill everybody?

SPEAKER_07 13:51

We fucking launch a third mr fucking submarine dog, paradesis three, hell yeah, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:00

So we got Paradisis III, we launch it into the same fucking water, dude. We just stick that motherfucker in there. Uh so that was done in January of 1951, but we don't really know much about that one, and but it was the first one that resulted in no waste being displaced. But I question I question if that's because the submarine wasn't leaking waste and more because there's just so much radioactive material in this area of the globe at this point. They have they have no way to read the difference.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

It's off the charts. Yeah, it was like two days ago. Who cares?

SPEAKER_05 14:34

But anyway, during this thing's run, it it ended up uh in an area called the Curl Islands, and then it went dark.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_05 14:46

They don't fucking know what happened to it or anybody on board. Just fucking radiation up and vanished, disappeared. So that's video

Orca Footage And Rig Tragedy

SPEAKER_05 14:56

one. Video two is called Dolphin Killer Whale Cam, Cold Bay, Alaska, 30 minutes 30 meters below sea level. And it is exactly that. This is a minute and 22 seconds of an underwater camera, and boy, you can't fucking see shit. Let me tell you.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

I'll give them this. Really cool that they used actual like deep sea cam footage, at least. Like it's a real whale and shit.

SPEAKER_05 15:22

So that's fun. So if you if you use a minute, if if you use a minute, if you watch the whole minute and 22 of this, you're gonna see an orca. It swims past. There's like a bunch of shit disturbing the water, and there's like some weird sounds going on in the background. It's kind of the audio is the creepiest part of all this. The orca goes by, and then like a minute later, it it just fucking books it back. It's like, nope, not not into whatever that is. That's the whole video. You do see what I believe are sort of these like tendril-looking things kind of wiggling about, and then at the very end, the screen gets all weird and fucky.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Yeah, it at the end it's uh it's a single frame where they just like uh reverse the colors. It's just a reverse shot, and you see in the back of the tendrils and shit.

SPEAKER_05 16:05

Yeah, I think that's supposed to imply that the this thing is like leaking radiation and it's fucking with the camera. Moving on, video three rig tragedy 89. So we basically just are informed and shown some pictures of an oil rig that is off the shore in 1989. Out of the 89 people on the rig, only one survived. Danny Moore would be the only living witness to this attack for three days. Wow, until she took her own life on December 4th, 1989. Whatever it is, it's harmful, not just to us, but the Alaskan coasts as well. And then there's a bunch of damage to the rig. And Tendril Boy fucking ripped it down. That's basically just what's going on here. There's some text that kind of explains what happened, shows some damage of the platform. But whatever this thing is that's hanging out in the bottom of the ocean now, fucking pulled it down. At the very end, though, we see I'm gonna say a cloaca. I think this is C tendrilows. I thought it was a butthole mouth.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

I thought it was a mouth, yeah, a mouth. Like I interpret it as like the mouth on one of the tendrils, like maybe each tendril has a mouth.

SPEAKER_05 17:26

Um tape number four, lost information

Peppy Info Tape Turns Sinister

SPEAKER_05 17:30

tape. Now this is your typical blue screen analog horror um like slideshow thing.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

So is this when the uh when the logo changes up and it's a little bit more peppy?

SPEAKER_05 17:46

The whole vibe of this video is completely different. Like everything about this is different. It goes from being very dark and like old like muted colors and everything to being like bright blue and yellow, and the text is super peppy too. I'll get into that. So we're this is Alta Paradesis Information videotape. The ocean is a large, vast ecosystem of ever-changing species. Over 95% is undiscovered. That means there could be creatures down here that we couldn't even fathom. While we apostrophe space RE on the topic of undiscovered creatures, Alta Paradesis has just discovered a new species. Exclamation point. So here's where we learn what the fucking thing be do. We assume it is some sort of a large actinaria. See a neminami, aneminimy. But the appearance of what looks like legs and a mouth makes us think otherwise.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

So I do enjoy it's like we think it's this.

SPEAKER_05 18:55

Or not. We think it's yeah. The that's w when you're writing an informative slideshow, you include all the things you thought this thing was before you decided it wasn't that.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Yeah. We thought it was a C anemone, but also it's got legs, so no. Here's a list of what it isn't.

SPEAKER_05 19:15

Anyway, C anemone with with legs and cloak of mouth. So beak pussy. This is this is my beak pussy. This is my favorite slide, maybe maybe my second favorite slide. I don't know. The the last slide is pretty good. And this whole thing, it says this will be the first time this announcement will be publicized. This tape will make history. So you're telling people it's written as if you're informing people before you show the tape that this will be the first time the tape is shown. But if they're reading this, they are actively viewing the tape.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:00

This is a wild way to phrase whatever this is supposed to mean. But anyway, this tape will make history. Speaking of making history, we have captured a photo of it. Do not be alarmed. It is not predacious that we know of.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

What does that mean? Horny?

SPEAKER_05 20:18

To see anemone sitting in an ocean six thousand miles apart because they're not gay. Um, I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

It means to prey on other animals.

SPEAKER_05 20:33

Yeah, yeah. It's not a predator. I don't know what the next picture is. A hundred percent I cannot tell you what this picture is of. It is black and white. I can vaguely make out lines that I think are the sea swords. But man, I I I don't know why we're looking at here. I'll be real about that one. And then there's a lot of photos in this that are kind of like that. You just kind of gotta guess. Um, so after we see the photo that I can't tell you what it is of, it says, that was the last thing the camera saw before deactivating.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

Oh no.

SPEAKER_05 21:09

Oh no.

SPEAKER_07 21:11

Weird fun, weird fun fact. I love these. Weird fun fact.

SPEAKER_05 21:18

We saw dozens of fish carcasses swimming around this animal as if they were still alive. That's that's a fun fact. That's what I would describe as fun, isn't it? What you describe as fun.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Yeah, it's not predaceous though. Don't worry.

SPEAKER_05 21:31

No, no, these things just show up and die around it.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

Yeah, yeah, and they're just hanging out still.

SPEAKER_05 21:36

Officer, I didn't kill this person, he just died near me.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

He came here like that.

SPEAKER_05 21:43

Yeah, the creature uses its thousands of small tendrils to control the fish bodies to possibly attract larger fish. That sounds like predator behavior to me.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

That's perdacious as fuck. Don't worry, it's not perdacious. Yeah, it's not prodigious. It uses giant claws and teeth to carve up bigger fish.

SPEAKER_05 22:05

Alright. For dramatic effect, I need to reread this slide, though. The creature uses its thousands of small tendrils to control the fish bodies to possibly attract larger fish. Very interesting. And that's the last slide of the presentation.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Telling you how to feel about the information you're eating. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:29

You should be excited, right? Alright, now the analog horror stuff happens. So the slideshow goes away, and we're informed by this like glitchy text fucking reverse colored fucking slide that it it memorized our name. It learned. Do not send anything else. It learned. It learned. It learned.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

It learned. I'm not gonna lie though. Like a big old fish thing with tentacles that controls dead fish using smaller tentacles. That's a cool, creepy ass concept. I I like that. That's fun.

SPEAKER_05 23:07

Yeah, that's pretty alright. It's like uh it's just like uh wearing skin.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

It's puppeteering them. Like a blopinoccio.

SPEAKER_06 23:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Yeah, it's alright. That's the first four tapes. Hell yeah. Doug, you have other tape.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

Alright, so don't fuck that CNM. Yeah, Nemo, don't do it. Um, so we kind of take a turn here on the next episode.

A Father Taken To Sea

SPEAKER_00 23:40

It's called My Father's Drawing. Oh man. Um, and we get uh, I mean, it's still like stamped with Alta Paradisius and or whatever, but um you see a picture, and this is basically the whole the whole thing. It's 49-second video. Uh you see a crude drawing of the uh C anemone thing. Um, you don't see its bus, but it's fine. Uh on the drawing it says mouth question mark. How big, really? Uh at least a hundred meters or bigger question mark. What I saw new species of squid, and that's the drawing, the backdrop of what you're going to be looking at for the next 45 seconds. Um, now while you're looking at this, there is uh some text on the screen that you can read, as per tradition, and it says, uh we uh sorry, I was looking at the wrong part of my notes. It says, This is what my father saw before he was taken to the sea. He said he heard voices. He thinks that what is talking to him, or he thinks that is what is talking to him, and asks if anybody knows anything about it, and to please contact them. Um and then about 35-ish to 37 seconds in, we get a shot of uh that like little clip we saw in one of Matt's videos, like at the very, very end. Um, it's that like purpley um tentacle like backdrop looking picture. Um and basically, um since the father drew this picture, um, it's like all they have left of what of like theirs, I guess. That's the only thing that he possibly could have left of this person. Um, and they mentioned that this is the final this is a picture of the father's entire will and testament that looks like it was drawn by a toddler. Yeah, then basically they're like, please help. He hasn't he hadn't been the same since he saw it, and that's pretty much it. Um so yeah, now for even something even shorter, uh the next video.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

Yeah, you got like the 29 second fucking videos.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

Yeah, I didn't do that on purpose, by the way. I just picked after you, and I just like picked three and then but uh this one's called Deep Sea Cam. And it starts with this horrific face that's just kind of moving around the camera, and uh it just says I'm here. And well, it says it's from the closed captioning, it says taser, but I don't think that's correct. I don't I don't I couldn't tell what it said.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

This is correct, yes.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Okay, um, it says taser, I'm here, and then it ends. That's it. The face is really creepy, though, I will say.

SPEAKER_06 26:36

So if you want to there's a description that says what this is, though.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

Oh, uh sure. Sure.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

Hold on. Oh yeah, recent footage of my deceased father taken in 2008 down in the icy waters of the North Pacific Ocean. Probably should have read those, huh? So um, yeah, so that's let's uh you can you can go here. Uh so this is the father. Um, yeah, so that's it's 26 seconds. Um, and yeah, it's just that face saying I'm here. He's down there. Um, and then then I'm here. I'm here for you. Uh, and then the next one is called Confessions

Confession Slideshow And Family Fallout

SPEAKER_00 27:20

of a Monster. And this the description of this says for Danny. Um, so it starts off with a red screen and it just says my confession by Henry Moore. Um, and basically it says, I killed James Hughes, took James on a boat, he could tell I was mad. Of course I was. Wouldn't you be too if you found your uh best friend killed your daughter? So I fed him to the sea. It wasn't about justice, it was prevention. He was a monster, just like the one he spent his life chasing. So I fed him to it. I gave him some rohypnol, and he had it coming. Wrapped a poster around his leg that said atla paradisius so that when the monster saw it, he'd come right up. When it saw the sign, it came to the surface. I looked into its eyes, and that was the last time I saw him alive.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

I like how and then we just assumed this thing could read English.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

That that it's just some deep water anemone, and we're just like a alphabet.

SPEAKER_05 28:25

This is also where he wrote on a piece of paper and spelled paradesis wrong.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

So yeah, yeah. It was very strange.

SPEAKER_05 28:33

It was a very strange uh just story, but um and then in his guilt he made a slideshow about it to confess his sins.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Yeah. Who knows where they sent this to, but it was for Danny. So thanks, Danny. Um what? Thanks, Danny. This is for um and it says have fun down there, James. And that's you you see that face again, and then it says have fun down there, and that's where that video ends.

SPEAKER_05 29:04

Brother, you don't make a slideshow of your sins.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

I made it for you! I made this for you. Um I like to combine uh that somehow in my brain, my brain combined that the hot Kool-Aid, and the Christian Bale yelling at the light sky.

SPEAKER_07 29:24

So now I made this for you! And how was it?

SPEAKER_01 29:27

Yeah, how was it? Oh god. Um, moving on, I suppose. So, real quick before I move on, Matt, in your video about the rig, I I I don't remember. Did you mention the deaths and whatnot?

SPEAKER_05 29:45

Did I mention the deaths? No, I didn't. I just said a rig got ripped in.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Fantastic. Uh, so in Matt's video, it mentions how I believe it was like 18 scientists on the rig died. Uh, one of them survived. Her name was Danny Moore. Wow. And she later, like uh a couple weeks later, committed suicide because she couldn't deal with what she saw on the rig. Um, so remember that information here, on top of what uh what Doug said, because that last one was for a Danny. Coincidence. I think not. So we go into mine

Last Warning And Silenced Witnesses

SPEAKER_01 30:25

here. It's called Last Warning. Uh, what we get here is a map that shows the sightings of the monster here from 1990 to 1991. So far, in this one year, there's six sightings. We then see a uh the map update, and it's showing sightings from 1990 to 2013. And dog, there's like 30 fucking sightings now. This thing has been seen quite a few times. Um, we get a bunch of photos uh that have been taken from various users on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, etc. Uh, this whole time, this whole video is taking place during like a broadcast, and the broadcast is has this like robotic voice, and it's like, we found all of these photos and things like Facebook from these guys. And it goes on to say that the posters of all these photos have been quote unquote dealt with. The broadcast also tells us to not post anything anywhere about the monster, just keep all this shit to yourself. This message comes from the Alta Paradisis. There's also they haven't been broadcasting all their shit already, right? Now tell me something real quick, guys, because I this sounds vaguely familiar. In the bottom right corner of the screen is an abbreviation, kind of like it's some like foundation or something that's trying to like prevent this. It's ape. Did we cover another analog horror that used ape and we made fun of it or something?

SPEAKER_05 31:51

My brain also went to bathing ape for some reason.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

I don't know, but I was telling I was telling Matt before while you were having your technical difficulties that the story of this weirdly reminds me of something else that we did, and I think we've I think we've come to the conclusion that it's like the the uh what was it fucking emergence, dinosaur emergence? Oh yeah, a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

It's got yeah, it's got historic emergence. That might be where apes from. That might be where other ape is from.

SPEAKER_05 32:22

Sorry, I was thinking about how I think soldier boy is connected to this. What are you saying? Ape is from something else.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

APE, the abbreviation. I've I have a memory of seeing that in hang on. First off, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_05 32:33

Soldier boy about uh Doug said bathing ape.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 32:37

I got me some bathing apes. I got I got me some bathing.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

So the abbreviation APE as like a foundation or like some sort of like special military something was used in another analog horror. I'm pretty confident, and it might have been prehistoric emergence. Whoever's listening to this right now, I need you to check. I went I need all of you right now listen through everything.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

I just googled it and it says if you uh this is the AI overview, so it's probably wrong, but it says it looks like you're searching for a.p.e or chimpy chippas analog horror series, a YouTube-based found footage horror

The Jonah Mission To Kill It

SPEAKER_00 33:14

product.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

The next uh video opens up with uh Bible quotes from Job 38 8-11. Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb?

SPEAKER_04 33:25

So that's fun.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Um that's really fun there. And uh basically, what this is is we get a news broadcast telling us about the Alta Paradesis new submarine called the Jonah. Now, the Jonah got some firepower. This bad boy's got missiles and such, and the plan is to take the Jonah, go down into the ocean, and fucking murder this thing.

SPEAKER_02 33:51

So that's pretty fun.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

Um so what we end up doing is we learn a bit more that uh we learn a bit more about this communication with James. Remember James, you too? Do you remember this boy?

SPEAKER_05 34:07

But do you know what a Jonah is in sailing terms?

SPEAKER_01 34:12

No, I just I I have no idea.

SPEAKER_05 34:14

A Jonah is an unlucky passenger aboard a ship. Traditionally, like a woman or a red hair, uh like a ginger.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

Oh it's a it's a bad omen. That makes sense because uh what I'm gonna call story or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Because of that. Does it have to do with the Bible story or whatever?

SPEAKER_06 34:35

He was because he was like thrown off of his ship or whatever. He was thrown overboard.

SPEAKER_02 34:42

Cool.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Anyway, we're told that although it's been unsuccessful, uh Alta uh Paradesis keeps trying to communicate with James. Remember James? Remember that guy? How we saw him before? And he's like, DC here. And he's down deep in the fucking water, dead but alive. Weird. Uh he keeps muttering the name of his coworker now. So we get a sentence, a full sentence from this guy. And he says, Want Henry. Henry here. Spooky. Henry Moore is a CEO of Alta, and he will be the captain of the mission in the Jonah to go kill this fucker. We then get a quote from a Taysier Hughes dedicated to Henry, and it says, May God be with you and the devil in hell stay beneath you. Where uh we now reach the JCH Trench, or as they call it now, or that's abbreviation for it, they call this trench now, the James Crane Hughes Trench, where the Actinaria and 18 bodies are chilling underwater. And we even get some pics from some deep water cams, and these pictures are pretty fucking creepy looking. We get pictures of people with these like tendrils, those those tendril things that that Matt mentioned before that are controlling fish. They're like in people's heads, and all the people look dead, like they got dead eyes. We also learn that the octinaria, or whatever this thing is, has a radius of 300 meters. That's a lot of meters. All we can do is pray for the Jonah at this point. We close on a Bible verse from Malachi 4.6, and it says, and throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. And we get a message that says, Goodbye, Henry.

SPEAKER_02 36:38

Now, a couple things I want to bring up real fast. First and foremost. A couple names. James Hughes. That's the guy. He's in the water. We have a quote. Do you remember the name from the quote? Job. No, tell us.

SPEAKER_01 36:58

Tayser Hughes. Probably related, right? You also see a uh another Moor here. Henry Moore, right? What was Danny's last name?

SPEAKER_05 37:12

California.

SPEAKER_02 37:13

California.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

It all kind of I mean it all ties back to the episode where he confesses to killing dude. Right. Oh no, this kind of goes back to the rig episode. Just Matt decided to leave out all that pertinent information. Matt, what were you saying about the Jonah earlier? Like what that name means? Like why what that is.

SPEAKER_05 37:31

Uh well, in seafaring terms, it's like a name for a bad omen. Is it's somebody on a ship who's bringing bad luck to the vessel.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

Oh, well, the Jonah blew up in this down in the water. So that might be thematical.

unknown 37:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:45

Yeah, it could be that, but like like Doug was saying, it's bar, it's just taken from the Bible because Jonah got thrown off the ship.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

But yeah. Anyway, Jonah, the Jonah kind of blew up down in the water. It's gone. It got destroyed. We get uh we start off with a bunch of tweets and like Facebook posts saying that three people died in the Jonah trying to fight a quote-unquote fake monster. You have Henry Moore died, uh Devin Patel, and Parker Simmons. Each of these like posts, because it's like it shows you a bunch of posts and like news articles, each more followed by the hashtag down with alter paradesis. But stop everything, stop it,

Underwater Voices And Danny’s Note

SPEAKER_01 38:20

because we got motion, baby. Big old warning comes up, and it's just like motion detected, motion detected. Fuck, here we go, dude. And then we pan in to this kind of beautifully haunting scene where uh we see two bodies and uh they're all strung up on the tendrils, and they're talking to each other underwater. And we hear their voices, and we get subtitles, right? And one is labeled with an H and the other with a D. It's Henry and Danny. And they're so happy to find each other. They keep talking to each other, and Henry starts off by by saying, Oh, Danny, I thought you were dead. You can kind of tell that she kind of wishes she was dead. Henry asks, Did I die?

SPEAKER_02 39:06

Am I in hell? Danny responds, with a cold yes. Danny says she woke up here.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

The last she remembers is being on a boat with James.

SPEAKER_02 39:19

And Danny then says, This can't be hell. Because you're here, Dad.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

And it's kind of sweet, but also sad because you have these two kind of dead people that apparently aren't dead but are dead talking to each other. It's kind of weird. We then cut to something called Danny's last note, and it you know, trigger warnings or whatever, it looks like it's a potential suicide note. And this is what it says. I want to start this by saying this is your fault, Dad. You could have prevented all of this. James told me. He told me how reluctant you were to kill it. You said it was just an animal. And I can't live with myself knowing it's your fault. I can't live with myself knowing it was you who could have saved us. I still feel see the faces of all those people crushed under metal, burning. Listen to James. I love you, Dad. Damn, that storm's kicking up over here. Good ombiance.

SPEAKER_06 40:21

Um I love you, Dad.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

Um, so there's text that comes up on the screen as well saying things like, Henry did this all for her, but did you notice anything? We get an audio recording of James that Henry found in James's basement. It's from December 2nd, 1989. It's James and he's interrogating Danny. He's asking her to describe what she saw on the rig. He explains to her that he wanted to kill the thing, but her dad did not let him. She says that they need to go to the military to get them involved in whatever this fucking monster is. But James says he can't do that because we cannot allow this thing to go public. If you let it go public, it would be the equivalent of telling the world that Godzilla is real. And he can handle all this by himself. He's like, I don't do it by myself. I'll fucking kill the thing by myself, is what it is. Danny wants to leave, but James threatens her by saying if she tells anyone about anything they've talked about tonight, they'll have to do something about her. We then go back to seeing the handwritten note that Danny left, a suicide note. And the handwriting on the note matches the handwriting on the picture in my father's drawing. We presume that the text that is revealing all this information to us is Taysir. He now believes his father killed Danny and framed it as a suicide. He now regrets sending Henry down into the Jonah down in the Jonah to fight the monster. It seems he thought Henry was responsible for a lot of damage caused in his family.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

But we end with a text that says down with Alta Paradisis. And that's where we end our story.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

So, to sum up a couple things, Russia make a big boom, monster is made.

SPEAKER_02 42:11

This guy, James, don't like the monster.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

Monster destroys oil rig. A lady named Danny seemed to monster. James is like, you tell me about it. And she's like, nah.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

And he's like, alright, kill you. Frame it as a suicide. Henry thinks James knows James killed his daughter. Kills him. Kills James. Taysir wanted revenge on Henry for killing his dad.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

But now Taysir knows that his dad was an evil guy. And now he's regrets killing Henry.

SPEAKER_05 42:50

I don't understand why this escalated to murder.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

With who? Because then there'd be no story. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, honestly, just don't think about it. That's not it. Yeah. Okay. But that's that's that's that's alta paradisis. I you know, I I know I will go into some stuff later, but I just want to start off by saying I thought this was pretty okay. Now I do want to put in some uh some some information first here. The creator was 17 at the time of making this. Just a wee kid. Oh, this shit isn't even legal. What the fuck are we doing? So they are now, they're 18 now. It's in their bio. But but I will say for 17, 18 year old making something, and for how short it is, I'd say this is pretty fucking alright, if you ask me. It is, it did not waste any of my time because it was a cool like 25 minutes long. I enjoyed it. I would give this a solid like six six and a half, one of the two.

SPEAKER_00 43:52

I didn't hate it, but it didn't really it didn't really catch my attention all too hard. Like I tried like I rewatched the first seven videos because I had to essentially. But uh both times I watched I I never made it to like I I watched the whole thing, but every time I got past my videos, I just I kind of zoned out. It just it I couldn't I couldn't keep focused on it, and I don't think that says anything about the the the series itself, I guess. Uh and more so just my personal taste.

Ratings And What Worked

SPEAKER_06 44:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:33

I don't think this is this isn't egregiously bad. Um like you said, for a 17-year-old, I think it's pretty alright. It's uh it makes some attempts to be original. I don't think again, 17-year-old. I don't think the art in the earlier half is very good. Um I think it's really hurt a lot by that. The text and wild tone shifts are my biggest gripe with it. It starts to get itself together and figure out what it wants to be by the end. Yeah. Um the art gets better by the end too.

SPEAKER_01 45:09

I do the weird creepy face, like purple faces in the ocean is really good. I'll give them that.

SPEAKER_05 45:14

The story, even though I think the motivations of the characters don't make a lot of sense, is f decent.

unknown 45:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:23

The thing puppeting the people.

SPEAKER_07 45:24

It's it's a cool concept.

SPEAKER_01 45:26

I like that concept a lot.

SPEAKER_05 45:27

It's a good concept.

SPEAKER_07 45:28

Not bad.

SPEAKER_05 45:29

And I think, yeah, for I'll give it a what was that a trumpet noise? What was that? I'll give it a uh I'll give it a I'll give it a five and a half.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:44

I thought it was interrupted pretty good. I don't I don't hate that I watched it, but if it we weren't watching it for this, this isn't something I would have chosen to continue watching on my own.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

That's why I'm I'm I'm happy placing it like a six and a half because of how short it was.

SPEAKER_05 46:01

If this was like if this was an hour and a half long, it'd be getting like a three or a four.

SPEAKER_01 46:06

Same, 100%. If this was like a 20 video thing, yeah, it'd be down to like a three. Yeah. But it's it's like 25 minutes. Like really for for that short, I think it justifies.

SPEAKER_05 46:16

The thing that I will commend them on that I think raises it to me that so many of these series don't do that we bitch about all the time is that it seems like it knew what it was doing from beginning to end. Yeah. It was like I have a thing, I'm gonna execute on it, and they executed on it. And that it actually now that I say that, I'm giving you like a I'm giving you a six and a half just for that. Or raise the point.

SPEAKER_00 46:41

I I was gonna say I'd give it a six as well. I think I think you're right. Uh, and actually it it ended when it needed to end, I think is a good thing too. Like it wasn't like, what if we do 45 more episodes of this shit? It doesn't over the story and it ended. Yeah, I I I agree wholeheartedly with that sentiment that it was just long enough and just short enough to hit that sweet spot of not feeling too uh like too much of my time was wasted or anything like that.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

So yeah, technically, since we all said six and a half, this might be one of our highest rated yeah.

SPEAKER_05 47:18

This is in the top quarter for sure.

SPEAKER_01 47:20

Yeah, alrighty, awesome. Well, yeah, that was all to paradesis. Everyone

Where To Watch And Wrap Up

SPEAKER_01 47:24

go check it out again. It's it's 25 minutes or so, it's not a waste of time. Highly recommend. Um, Elite, keep doing what you're doing, uh, because I think you have some skill. If you do plan going to see the back rooms, make sure you send us tickets in our email. It's dilutypod at gmail.com. Send me a ticket, I'll go. Um, you'd also leave us other emails in there. You know what else you could do. Go on all our socials and follow us and all those. Take a look at our Discord, it's pretty fun. Um patreon.com slash dilutypod and diluti.com where you can pick up some of our fresh new merch or subscribe. Matt Matt, what do you got for the people?

SPEAKER_05 47:59

Uh, if you're on the Patreon and you don't get a bonus and an SCP or cryptid in a month, you'll get another one to make up an extra. I suck at uploading things on schedule sometimes, and I'm doing I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 48:15

We've had a busy couple of things. You'll get all the content you promise. It just it'll come out on a weird schedule. Yeah. If we have to back dump if we have to like back dump a bunch in December, does don't worry, December you'll get like a hundred videos.

SPEAKER_05 48:29

No, we've only we've already missing one, you know.

SPEAKER_01 48:32

Oh, yeah, I know. You'll get it though. Apologies everyone. We've had a pretty hectic last couple weeks.

SPEAKER_00 48:37

Um, what do you guys think? This is gonna be crazy for me as well next couple months. But um, I got nothing, man. You know what? Keep you guys out there, keep keep making your fucking your little analog horrors so we have stuff to cover. Oh yeah. Do a little do a little better though. You will do it a little bit better though.

SPEAKER_05 49:01

Don't let anything encourage you from like making anything.

SPEAKER_00 49:05

If somebody in fact, and in fact, I want all the people that we do poo poo on a little bit. I want I want to see your second round of stuff so that I know that you're still either poo-poo or you're learning.

SPEAKER_05 49:18

No, you're gonna make it better, and then I uh we want credit.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

Yeah, yeah. Give us 20%. Boy, may may see Christ in it and then in a may form be with you.