DLUTI 242 - Creepy Internet Stories

Doug follows instructions, Matt visits the USSR, and Mike man hook car...hand...door?

Transcript

Cold Open And Ghost Grab Bag

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Don't look under the internet.

SPEAKER_08 0:34

Well, and don't look under the internet, everybody. Uh the internet's favorite comedy horror podcast featuring Matt.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Hi, we have a show for you today.

SPEAKER_05 0:46

Doug. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_08 0:53

Oh yeah, he's he's playing the silent game. And me, the guy who does know how to shut the fuck up. Doug is Doug is my uh my my reverse me. Where he can be stoic and silent, I am awkward and loud. It's it's quite interesting.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

People are awkward and quiet. You accomplish something the world's never seen before.

SPEAKER_06 1:21

The world ain't ready for a loud awkward man. I'm uh I'm over talking, so it was a good episode while it lasted. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

SPEAKER_08 1:32

Well, we have another banger of an episode for you all today. And by a banger, I mean I didn't have another topic ready because uh this week has been crazy. So we're talking about just some shit we pulled out of our butts. It this is this is can we start a segment just called shit from a button? It's just the random things we decide to talk about.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Yep, let's kill them.

SPEAKER_08 1:57

Yeah. Um, today we're just we're talking about some ghosts, dude. We're just we found some ghosts, yeah. We found some ghost stories. Um, I I took a page I think out of Doug's book because I found it a bit more interesting. I focused almost entirely on Reddit, and by almost entirely I mean entirely on Reddit.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

So did I. So hell yeah. We all did it, dude.

SPEAKER_08 2:17

I thought it meant made the most sense because yeah, I can talk. I want to talk about the brown lady, but the more I talked about it, I was like, what does this actually have to do?

SPEAKER_02 2:25

I just yeah, Jesus Christ, Michael. I just really hope you guys didn't find the same thread that I did because that's really gonna ruin my whole bit.

SPEAKER_06 2:32

Oh no, I really hope stories what was it from our ghost stories?

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Uh no, it's from our ass Reddit was the scariest ghost story you've ever heard. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:43

I really actually I went with a theme for mine. Um so like all my stories are like there's a spin on mine.

SPEAKER_08 2:51

I was really hoping this would be a situation like the last Reddit thing where we all just found that stumbled across the same. Um but yeah, I think it's more thematical because again, I want to talk about the brown lady, which is like the most notorious ghost sighting. Um it's like the it's like the original uh like photo of like a ghost. Like if you look up uh brown lady ghost uh photo, it's like the most iconic ghost photo. And I want to talk about that, but then it got me thinking, like, yeah, we could, but this has been talked about a thousand times, and also what does the internet gotta do with it? So I think this is like the opposite of hometown horrors, yeah. I went to Reddit and was like, I want to hear the internet's horror stories with ghosts. I don't want to hear about the fucking some some book from 1930 where they're like there's a ghoul in there. I want to hear about a guy on a keyboard saying I saw what I thought was a ghost in my backyard, but was just a homeless man looking for food. That's what I want, baby. Anyway, so we got a couple stories here.

SPEAKER_07 3:58

Who wants to start? I can start us off. By all means, the floor is yours.

SPEAKER_08 4:06

The spotlight is on you. Editor Matt put a very, very, very bright spotlight on Doug right now.

My Nurse Was A Ghost

SPEAKER_03 4:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 4:16

Um, okay, so this is from our ghost stories. All of mine are actually, um from three years ago by a Redditor named Lola Bunny3000. So you know this shit's good. How you know it's sexy as hell, dude. I mean, okay. If you're into that, yeah, yeah. If you like to have sex with bunnies, sure. Yeah. Um, anyways, so uh this is called My Nurse Was a Ghost, and then there's a ah sexy nurses too.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Jesus, man.

SPEAKER_06 4:52

Hell yeah, dude. This story has it all. I'm fucking ecto bricked up, dog. No, she ecto on my is that ectoplasm in your pants, or are you just is that come?

SPEAKER_07 5:14

This episode's gonna be dumb as fuck.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

She she pulled her on my guys till I sh uh exorcism on my divining rod till I plu ectoplasm.

SPEAKER_06 5:36

There it is. Now that okay. So my nurse was a ghost. Oh. In 2020, at the beginning of COVID, I had just given birth, and at this time I could only have one other person in the room with me in my entire stay at the hospital. Of course, my kid's father was there, but like the third day he left to clean up our house and get everything prepared for me and baby. I'd gotten sick and had a c-section, so I had to stay for about four to five days. Well, while he was away, a nurse named Kelly said that she would be helping me throughout the day and spending time with me so I don't feel lonely while dad is gone. I couldn't really hold my baby due to me being sick and the pain from the c-section, so my nurses would come in every time it was time to feed, and I noticed when they came in they wouldn't acknowledge Kelly, and she would go to the farthest part of the room and she would tell me I'm just gonna get out of the way. Now, she did tell me that she didn't specialize in what they did, she was just for comfort, so I didn't question anything. The entire day she was so helpful and encouraging to me, I really believed I would have broken down if she wasn't there. She was such a sweetheart. Well, after about five or six hours, she told me she had to leave and that she would come visit me before her shift was over to see how I was doing. She hugged me and blew me a kiss, uh, blew a kiss at my baby and walked out of the room. Later that night, Dad came back and he was very upset. He told me some stuff happened with his mom that he was sorry he'd uh that he had taken so long, and I was upset, but I told him that a nurse named Kelly kept me company. As I'm telling him about her, my nurse is changing my sheets and she's like, Oh, who's Kelly? I explained, and she said that nobody named Kelly was in my room or working that day. So I instantly thought about those women who would pretend to be nurses and kidnap children. But my nurse told me that I may be hallucinating, and she told my doctor, and I talked to my doctor, and he said the same thing. Well, a couple of hours later, a nurse that I didn't recognize came in my room and I said, I know this might sound crazy, but everyone on the floor is talking about you seeing Kelly. I said, Yeah, she was here with me for like seven hours today, and she helped me out a lot. We were smiling and laughing, and while I was telling her about uh Kelly and how sweet and funny she was, then she pulled up her phone and showed me pictures of her and Kelly that looked to be maybe early 2000s. I was smiling knowing that I wasn't hallucinating, and then I sat down, then she sat down and told me Kelly died ten years ago from domestic violence with her boyfriend. I wasn't too shocked because my entire life I've been dealing with paranormal, but I got chills because I'd never had an encounter this deep. Well, the lady gave me a hug and started crying, saying, Now I know that she's okay since that day. I've been wondering why did Kelly come in my room and help me. I kind of wish I could see her again. Nurse Grace Kelly. Yeah, I thought that was a nice entry-level uh little joast story. Actually, most of these are like short ghost stories, but in the same vein. But you know, what more can you do with a ghost, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Um I'll give it I'll give it don't look under. Just one.

SPEAKER_06 8:31

Yeah. Yeah, just one. Because it's a wholesome nice ghost. It is. It was I started off wholesome. I started off wholesome.

SPEAKER_05 8:38

Um do you want next?

SPEAKER_07 8:47

You want me to go?

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Sure. Alright. You ready for this? This is I'm gonna turn it up a notch. So you're with your honey and you're making out when the phone rings. You answer it, and the voice is what are you doing with my daughter? You tell your girl, and she says, My dad is dead.

The Keyhole Room With Red Eyes

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Then who was phone?

SPEAKER_07 9:12

Who was phone? Who's phone?

SPEAKER_02 9:16

No. Okay, so that was actually in the thread that I found, but I mentioned I mentioned I mentioned that I found a thread, and some shit happens in this thread. And you'll understand in a minute. Alright. Hell yeah. So first of all, we'll start out with a story. And this may be a story that you guys have heard before. Um but I like it. And I think it's spoopy. So it goes a little like this. A man goes to bed. That's not how it's serious. I accidentally a word. A man Okay. Serious. A man goes to a bed and breakfast. While checking in, the owner tells him that the room next to his is undergoing some repairs, so not to open the door for anything. The man goes to his room, drops off his things, but then he gets bored. So he pokes around the house a little bit, and with nothing else to do, decides to see the room that needs repairing. He tries the door and it's locked. He wonders why the owner would even bother warning him about this room since it's locked away. Whatever. He peeks through the keyhole and the room beyond the key the door isn't actually being repaired. It's completely empty, except for a figure on the far side of the room sitting in a chair facing the wall. The man stands up again, creeped out. But just to make sure that he wasn't imagining things, he bends down and looks through the keyhole again. But this time, he doesn't see the figure or the room at all. It's just red. Like a w a the color red, like a wall of red. Like something was blocking the keyhole with construction paper paper. Weirded out, the man goes to bed. When he's at breakfast with the owner the next morning, the man asks him casually about the repairs in the next room. The owner sighs and says, Truthfully, I don't rent out that room because so many people have told me that it's haunted by a ghost with red eyes. Now, here's the twist. This was posted in a thread that I mentioned that I found from 13 years ago. And uh the so the original that I just mentioned mentioned, I don't know where that story originates from, but it was originally posted by someone named Meam Yow Butz. Now someone named ArmyPants and Flip Flops has replied to them and said the Russian version is better.

unknown 11:48

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

So I'm gonna do the Russian version. I check into small hotel a few kilometers from Kiev. It is late. I am tired. I tell woman at desk I want the room. She tells me room number and give key. But one more thing, comrade, there is one room without number and always lock. Don't even peek in there. I take key and I go to room to sleep. Night comes and I hear trickling of water. It comes from the room across. I cannot sleep, so I open door. It is coming from room with no number. I pound on door. No response. I look in keyhole. I see nothing except red. Water's still trickling. I go down to front desk to complain. By the way, who is in that room? She looked at me and began to tell story. There was woman in there, murdered by her husband, skin all white, except her eyes, which were red. I tell her, I don't give a shit. Stop the water trickling or give me a refund. She gave me one hundred rubble credit and free breakfast. Such is life in Moscow. Such is life. Such is life in Moscow. No, some of my easy work.

SPEAKER_08 13:01

There's like an add-on to that story that uh that I I heard way back in the day where like they it takes place over the course of a couple days. And like they look in there, they see nothing, they look in again. They you know they you know they it I forget how it works.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

Yeah, I've definitely heard of like a longer version of the story before.

SPEAKER_08 13:18

Alrighty, boys. I have Juan for you cap. This is also on r slash ghosts from a user movie girl. About eight years ago, I was in Italy at my aunt's house and we were playing with my toddler, two at the time, and we were tossing his little rolled up socks like a ball in the kitchen. My aunt and I were on two sides of the kitchen table, and my son uh and my son by the kitchen door. He tossed the socks so that they flew up, uh they flew by both of us and went down to the head of the table where a chair was tucked in. My aunt and I both bent down to pick up the socks, but they were gone. They totally disappeared. We thought perhaps they rolled somewhere else on the floor or landed on a chair, but nope, they were nowhere to be found. We immediately thought it was the spirits that are in her home playing a trick on us. Her home is a number of strange, frightening, and a few aggressive supernatural things happened in the past couple years. And just the night before, I was kicked under the dining room table by th three separate times on the back of my legs. Uh so we both thought it was him again. Hours later, returning from an afternoon out, my aunt and I were back in the kitchen making dinner. My aunt was unwrapping fresh mozzarels and putting them in a skillet. She had about six that she was unwrapping, and each time throwing the wrapper into the sink beside the stovetop, placing each mozzarella one by one in the pan. Uh we were talking about how strange it was that the socks disappeared, and we should probably find the uh we would probably find them in an odd place. My aunt raised her voice and basically started telling off the spirit to stop being a jerk and return the socks and leave us alone alone. I got a bit nervous and told my aunt not to speak to it with an angry tone and just asked nicely. All of a sudden I heard my aunt make a terrible frightened sound. She was just about to put another mozzarella in the pan when the rolled up socks appeared right in the middle of the skillet.

SPEAKER_07 15:22

Cheese ghost Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:30

Dude Dude, the worst thing if you were a ghost wandering about if you couldn't eat

Disappearing Socks And Cheese Ghost

SPEAKER_05 15:42

anything. Imagine just having to wander the world and never eat anything again. That would suck.

SPEAKER_08 15:52

That would suck. I need imagine imagine wandering around. But imagine if you smelled it and you couldn't eat it, you know what I mean? Like, does your sense of smell work as a ghost?

SPEAKER_02 16:04

Maybe you just constantly smell like a like old books.

SPEAKER_08 16:09

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_07 16:12

Smells like those sodas I made you guys drink all those years ago. Anyway, Doug, you have another one for us? I do.

SPEAKER_06 16:21

Um These next two that I have are pretty short, but uh that's it, that's all I got. Alright. So I'm gonna I'm gonna not read the title because I feel like if you read the title, you don't actually have to read the story at all. Oh yeah. Um, okay. So this is from another Argo stories uh by Synthwolf four years ago. So not sure if this fits here, but I'd be I'd be willing to move it if needed. A little backstory. My mother's biological father died at the age of 26 while my grand grandma was still pregnant with my mother. As such, I've only ever seen photos of my grandpa. Well, one day I hear my kid talking to someone in her room. I go to check and I knock and enter, and she's sitting on her bed talking to no one. I think nothing of it. Some days go by, and she mentions that Neil says he's proud of you. Okay, that's weird. I ask who and what he looks like. She tells me, like you, Dad, he says he's my great-grandpa. None of her grandpa uh none of her grandpas look like me except my father, who is in prison, and she's never met him. So fast forward a couple of months, and my mom is looking through my uh an old family photo album, and she comes across my grandpa's service photo, and my kid exclaims, That's my friend. I talk to him all the time. Nope. My real explanation would be that she saw a picture and made a real imaginary friend from it. Only issue is she knows details she shouldn't, like that he died in a car wreck when he lost control and went over a bridge, that he was honorably discharged from service a mere two years into his contract, and more. And she didn't use those exact words, but her the specific wording was childish, and it's easier for me to just state it that way. And mind you, this started when she was seven, she's now almost nine, and this is her first imaginary friend other than talking to her toys. Mike, your child doing any creepy shit? Yes, actually.

SPEAKER_08 18:25

On multiple occasions, she uh she told us one day, she pointed at her closet and said, That's where what'd she say? That's where that's where Jake lives. Uh Jack lives, one of those. And we're like, What?

SPEAKER_02 18:39

Unintentionally creepy, it's fucking awful.

SPEAKER_08 18:41

Uh huh. Oh yeah. She pointed right at the closet. Jake lives in there, or Jack, it was one of those two. We're like, who's that? He's my friend. Uh we're like, no, mm-mm, you get the fuck out of my house and take her, Jack. No, he ain't. Not anymore. She says some other weird things, too.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Sick big dog on him. It's a big dog getting the closet.

SPEAKER_08 19:00

Yeah. There is another one too where we're all just sitting in the uh this when

Imaginary Friends That Know Too Much

SPEAKER_08 19:05

she was real little, like one and a half. We're just sitting in the living room, and she just looks over in the kitchen, she has points like up into like the corner in the kitchen. Really, one, she has just points, and then like ten seconds later, there's like a loud thud in that same direction. We're just like, mm, no. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_06 19:26

Gotta sell the house. Yeah, gotta sell that house. Yep. That's uh that was my that was that was that one.

SPEAKER_08 19:34

Hell yeah. I can see if Lori remembers the name of the fucking guy. Hang on. I'll text her while you go. Matt, do you want to go?

SPEAKER_02 19:41

All right. Daddy, I had a bad dream. You blink your eyes and you pull up on your elbows. Your clock glows red in the darkness.

SPEAKER_08 19:50

I see your theme. I was Rich. Sorry, the name was Rich. That's what it was. It wasn't Jake, Jack, it was Rich.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

Daddy, I had a bad dream. You blink your eyes and pull up onto your elbows. Your clock glows red in the darkness. It's 323. Do you want to climb into bed and tell me about it? No, Dadney. The oddness of the situation wakes you up more fully. You can barely make out your daughter's pale form in the darkness of your room. Why not, sweetie? Because in my dream, when I told you about the dream, the thing wearing mommy's skin sat up. For a moment, you feel paralyzed. You can't take your eyes off your daughter. The covers behind you begin to shift. Now there's a reply. Father, I had a bad dream. You take a sip of vodka and roll over. You stare at the clock tower on Sabornia Square. It's 323. Go back to sleep. There's work tomorrow. No, father. The familiar warm buzz of vodka starts to sink in. You can barely make out your daughter's pale form in the darkness. Why is that, Davotchka Moya? Because in my dream, when I was about to go back to sleep, the thing wearing mother's skin set up. You pause and face your daughter and look at her intensely. The figure behind you begins to stir. Don't talk that way about your mother. It is not his fault we have no money for coats, such as life in Moscow.

SPEAKER_08 21:14

Such as life. Is this the same guy?

SPEAKER_02 21:17

No, it's not the same guy. Which is where I discovered there's a subreddit called R Such is Life in Moscow. Which is my favorite find of the week.

SPEAKER_08 21:30

Is it just Russian ghost stories? Uh hell yeah. Love that. Love that. I will say this did this took a turn I didn't expect.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

I told you ruin the episode.

SPEAKER_08 21:44

I thought you were just gonna do spoof ones like the Who Was Phone or Hand Hook Car Mandor and shit like that. I should have done that one. Damn. Please give us more of the Russian ones.

SPEAKER_02 21:59

Oh, I got plenty.

SPEAKER_08 22:02

Alright, I'll go and then you give us more Russia. Okay. This is also from R slash Ghost. This is from Matt Like. Mat Ike. Mat Ike! I have to preface that I'm in my mid-30s and I've had a lot of stuff happen to me. But I only really count three because I try my absolute hardest to explain things away. Not everything is a ghost. One was an old woman looking out for looking out of my cruise ship window at like 3 a.m. Which my friend also saw. When I was like 22, and the other I don't like to talk about because it's so out there, I feel like it immediately discredits me. Basically, I unknowingly interacted with one of New Orleans uh with one of the New Orleans last year at like 3 a.m. right next to my girlfriend. This is my biggest one though. There's this place in San Diego called Caraway. Long story short, it's called that because a CHP officer pulled over a girl, Kara Not on the freeway in the 80s, had her follow him to this bridge underneath the freeway, killed her, threw her off. Her dad created a memorial garden for her at the bottom and then had a heart attack and died in the same spot. There's a forensics files episode called Bridge of Betrayal or Badge of Betrayal that goes on though about the whole story. Nowadays, cops call it the tombs. It is fucking terrifying. Pitch black on the bridge, even darker down in the memorial gardens. So naturally, I figured out how to get down there and started going a going a lot three years ago. It is the most oppressive atmosphere you could possibly imagine. Just typing this out is making my skin crawl. I would post about it on Instagram and if friends yell at me, and I'd be like, Yeah, it's fine. It always scared me though, but hey, that's why I do this stuff. If I find something that actually affects me, I'm there.

SPEAKER_07 24:02

I went about a dozen times altogether.

SPEAKER_08 24:06

The last time I went will be the last time I will ever go. I take someone at like 9 p.m. very early in the night. We get to the bottom of the garden and the energy is just dead. It simply just feels like a dark area and nothing more. Because we absolutely feel nothing, I have been hyping this place up for weeks because we would explore a lot of shit up in Irv Irvine, where she lived. And she finally came down, so we had a spooky night, and this was the start. Now, how have now how you have to park to get down there? Is a it's a long single-lane road that ends at a gate. And turning around, you have a kind of Austin Powers yourself and reverse and go inch by inch to turn around. And then you're facing a huge curved wall. Think of the tunnel and 28 days later, which is pretty apt for what happens. My headlights are on shining at that wall, and I'm just like, damn, I'm sorry, it's usually really nuts.

Creepypasta Gets The Moscow Treatment

SPEAKER_08 25:05

It's probably just early. We can come back later. We're heading back to the car, and I look up at the wall and I see someone booking it towards us down the middle of the road from around the bend at full speed. But it just looks like a shadow. I see the arms pumping, I see the legs moving, I see the posture and the slim build, and it's fully in the headlights. And I'm just like, go, go, go, because I think it's someone running up out of on us, and I'm about to get carjacked. I have a Tesla. Got around 2021. I know, I know. So I have to wait a second for the car to unlock. Which up in the car and I look up, and there's absolutely nothing. Neither of us were in the line of the headlights. I would have been able to see if it was a person and it turned to go through the garden. And the headlights didn't illuminate its features at all. It was just fully formed, solid black. I had my eyes on it for about three to four seconds in total.

SPEAKER_05 26:00

That's a long time to process something. That's okay. So you know what I took away from that story?

SPEAKER_06 26:13

You said the part where he's like, I bought a Tesla, I know, I know. I literally was behind a Tesla the other day, and it it was one of the fucking Cybertrucks, and it literally the bumper sticker on the back of it said, I bought this before we knew.

SPEAKER_08 26:31

I feel like you can't do that with a cyber truck. The cyber truck came out exactly. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 26:37

Like he was being a cunt when they were like showing off the thing with like throwing the baseball and stuff. You don't get any you don't get a free pass with a cyber truck. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_08 26:45

You you can get a pass if you bought a Tesla from like 2018 and below.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

If you have like a Model S or Model 3 or Model Y or something, you can you can get away with that. Uh if you drive a cyber, you're a knob. That's just how it is.

SPEAKER_06 27:02

You're a knob. No, that's very, very true.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

Oh.

SPEAKER_08 27:09

That's your Russian, your Russian scares.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

I got one that is a it's uh such as life take on a creepypasta. You want me to read the creepypasta first? It's not very long.

SPEAKER_08 27:20

Yeah, go for it so we have context to how we're gonna get into the Russian of it all.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

So the creepypasta is called the statue. A few years ago, a mother and father decided they needed a break. They wanted to head out for the night on the town, so they called their most trusted babysitter. When the babysitter arrived, the two children were already fast asleep in bed. So the babysitter had just to sit around and wait and make sure that everything was okay with them. Later that night, the babysitter got bored and went to watch TV, but she couldn't watch it downstairs because they did not have cable there. The parents didn't want children watching too much garbage. She called them and asked if she could watch cable in the parents' room. Of course, the parents said it was okay, but the babysitter had one final request. She asked if she could cover up the angel statue outside the bedroom window with a blanket or a cloth because it made her nervous. The phone line was silent for a moment. The father, who was talking to the babysitter at the time, said, Take the children and get out of the house. We'll call the police. We don't own an angel statue. The police found both of the children and the babysitter slumped in pools of their own blood within three minutes of the call. No statue was found.

SPEAKER_08 28:32

Then who was angel statue.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Those angel statues are creepy as fuck, though. That is the sc Well, I okay, I'll admit that I haven't really watched that much Doctor Who, but of the Doctor Who things I've seen, that's the scariest.

SPEAKER_05 28:44

Easily.

SPEAKER_07 28:45

The weeping angel thingy.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

Now. Linen statue. Men and wife work in glorious Soviet tractor factory. One day they get tired from building communism. So go out in the city and stand in breadline. They hired babysitter and watch over the children for night. Babysitter left with children in proud Soviet home. Tells parents we'll take good care. Father get called from babysitter after a few hours. Babysitter tells father that children reading marks like good Soviets. But room is drafty because there are no windows. Ask father if it's okay to move children to parents' room to read marks. Father says, okay, but babysitter have one final request. She asks if she can cover up a linen statue in room because it is frightening her. Father.phone should have worn gloves. Then tell babysitter. Take children and get out of the house. We do not have a linen statue. Mother and father race home and find KGB at house. KGB arrests babysitter for finding linen statue frightening. Then arrest veterans for not having a linen statue, such as life in Moscow.

SPEAKER_08 29:48

Such as life in Moscow.

Patreon Plug And Bodies Under The House

SPEAKER_06 29:51

So I think it's fair to say to all the people listening right now. Um, this is what our bonus content is typically like. So if there was ever a reason to join our Patreon and plug it, uh this is why. This is the time.

SPEAKER_08 30:08

Patreon.com slash diluty pod, dilute.com, do one of the two, boom, bam.

SPEAKER_07 30:12

But mud. But mud.

SPEAKER_08 30:14

Yeah, it is butt mud all over again. Shit. How what what time we had with this boys? Uh 33 minutes. Hell yeah, not enough.

unknown 30:24

No.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

I hope. You're not even on in the same time zone as your video anymore.

SPEAKER_06 30:29

I know. He when he was telling his last story, I was like, ah fuck. I'll just do this right real quick.

SPEAKER_08 30:35

I'll go whoop. And then I'll go, whoop, and I'll fuck up the whole thing on your end.

SPEAKER_06 30:43

Alright, Doug, save one more. Yeah, I got one more. This is from R Go Stories by a deleted user. One year ago. My imaginary friend was not imaginary. Do you see the thing I'm going with here? Alright. Anyways, one night could be frequently.

SPEAKER_07 31:06

It must be.

SPEAKER_06 31:07

Yeah. R slash imaginary friend. Um so one night my dad could hear me speaking loudly, so he came in to check on me. I was six or seven. Um he found me at the end of the bed. Thank you. Um he was uh he he found me at the end of the bed talking to absolutely no one. When he turned the lights on, I got startled and leaped under the covers. Um he asked who I was talking to, but I didn't want to say. I tried to be quiet because I didn't want my dad to come back. Umce I got caught again, I started keeping a diary where I would communicate by writing my questions and answers so nobody could hear him. Sorry. Sorry. Why told me some horrible things about his parents and how they were part of something really bad. Why? He told me that if I looked through the socket in the kitchen above the oven, I would see where they put the ones they helped harm. Uh oh. So I did. My dad walked in on me as I was literally looking through the socket and saw stained glass like you would see in a church or something. He asked me what I was doing and I got really scared and told him what I saw. He looked through and saw nothing. He reassured me nothing was in the wall. He later found my diary and it was disturbing. He started asking questions about Y and telling me that I didn't have to be afraid of telling the truth. So I told him, Y told me that the bodies are under the house. My dad was genuinely terrified, so he started to research our property. Turns out our home was built over a church graveyard during the Second World War. I never saw or heard from Y again. Bodies under the house. Bodies under the house.

SPEAKER_08 33:11

I like to think that that dad is super, super conservative. He was reading that diary and he's like, At least my boy ain't gay.

unknown 33:19

Right.

SPEAKER_08 33:21

He's seeing ghosts. At least he's not a homosexual.

SPEAKER_06 33:27

Yeah, yeah. That's definitely pride, month.

SPEAKER_08 33:32

Happy pride. Happy pride.

SPEAKER_06 33:35

I I have a rainbow flag. I don't know where it is right now, though. This is embarrassing. Uh you heard it here. Mike hates the gays.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

Speaking of countries that hate the gays. My next story is called To catch a comrade. Comrade feel alone and no one cooked food since mother sent to Gulag. Use talk roulette on internet to meet future wife. Go to future wife in block 16 167E to find KGB and no wife. KGB make take seat. Seat is electric chair. Comrade die of starvation before power turn on. Such is life in Moscow. Such is life. It's not really a ghost story.

SPEAKER_08 34:19

Such is life. Well, it's a Chris Hansen, which is he's basically a ghost. You ever see that Gucci appear out of nowhere on that show? He's a ghost.

SPEAKER_06 34:26

There's like a Chris Hansen movie coming out.

SPEAKER_08 34:29

Yeah, I saw that. And fucking uh was it who's playing him? Um it's fucking um Edward. Who?

SPEAKER_06 34:37

Uh Edward Cullen. Uh fucking RPE. It's our pet.

SPEAKER_08 34:40

Oh, he is playing. Yes, it is. Robert Pattinson. Rob At Battenbat. That's right. R.

SPEAKER_06 34:46

Pet Chris Hansen. Why don't you take a seat right there, Joker? Yeah, messaging 13-year-old girls, Joker. That shit's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 34:58

16 Batman. 16.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Alright. Since that was a short one, I got another short one, and then the next time we get back around to me, I have a real one. Alright. Next.

SPEAKER_08 35:09

I don't have any more. I have I have one more if we need it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Alright. This is my last such life in Moscow. Bloody Marissa. Vitali is working triple shift at factory when Comrade Sergei tells him of Bloody Marissa. Says, look in mirror and say bloody Marissa three times. Legend says she will climb out from mirror screaming and kill you with knife and drink all your vodka. Vitali finish work and walk home to dry bloody Marissa trick. Vitali, go home and remember he is too poor to afford mirror. Such is life in Moscow.

SPEAKER_08 35:43

You know, they always take a turn that I actually don't expect. I expect her to appear and just take his and be drunk and take his vodka or something. Doesn't even have a mirror.

SPEAKER_02 35:55

Such is life in Moscow.

SPEAKER_08 35:56

Such is life in Moscow. All right.

Woman In White And Shadow Runner

SPEAKER_08 36:00

I got one from a uh a uh a user in RSEGO's. And uh I think this is gonna be my new rap name. It's uh spooky taps. And uh in all caps, spooky taps. Spooky taps. Got a true one here. My family used to own an old house in the south of France in L'Abeneque, uh to be specific. Big house, three floors, like 12 rooms or something. I was ten when we uh did a vacation there with two befriended families with kids and my grandmother. In the morning, we always met in the garden and did breakfast together and planned the day. One morning we sit at breakfast, and one pair of parents is very quiet until they want to tell us something. They said the following We went into bed and read some books before going to sleep, and suddenly a woman in white, I know pretty classic, spawned on one side of the room and walked to the other side of the room and just disappeared. Everybody was quiet. We were thirteen people as my grandmother told us to wait because she wants to get something out of the house. A few moments later she came back with a movie movie prop quality old photo and handed it to the pair asking if this was the woman. Yes it was. It was the first wife of my great great grandfather, and he cheated on her. She locked herself in that room and hung herself there. Needless to say, they're all completely shook for the rest of the vacation, and they went into another room after this. Spooky, ooh, spooky French lady.

SPEAKER_06 37:40

Scary. So many ghost stories.

SPEAKER_08 37:42

We got so many ghost stories, dude. So many ghost stories. I wonder if I can find the most ridiculous. What happens if I just Google stupidest ghost story?

SPEAKER_02 37:54

What do you get? I I don't think you can get much dumber than than who's phone.

SPEAKER_08 38:00

Yeah. Who's phone is pretty great. I'm not gonna lie. You can't. Classic.

The Basement Figure That Followed Him

SPEAKER_02 38:05

Classic. Alright. I got a a somewhat longer one that is actually a story that somebody submitted to this thread. They claim this is a real story that really did done happen to them.

SPEAKER_07 38:19

Done to but dang happened.

SPEAKER_02 38:20

Disclaimer. I submitted this in the past, but all of these events are true. My house was built in 1904. It's a single family home, wood frames sitting on a concrete block foundation. I've been living there for about twelve years. Of all the weird things that my siblings and I have seen or heard in this house, this one is my favorite. This happened to my brother. About ten years ago, my brother and his best friends had started a garage band playing mostly Spanish rock, alternative music, but in Spanish. His friends could only get together on Sunday afternoons. They would practice into the early evening. They would usually call it quits by eight PM. This was the time that I usually showed up and went to the bed because I worked the graveyard shift. This happened in late fall, so the days were getting shorter. They had just finished a long session when the decision to head to someone else's house came about. My brother handed his car keys to his buddy so they could load up the equipment. Everyone had filed out of the basement. The tricky part was that they needed to walk all the way to the back of the basement, up the backstairs, through the kitchen doorway, down the hall, into the living room, and out into the front porch. Everyone was outside sitting in my brother's truck waiting for him. My brother was walking up the back stairs when he remembered that he had left his pancakes in a Tagok container sitting on a speaker in the basement. He had made the decision to go back. Now the basement is not clean. With full sight lines, there had been partitions made with the boiler and the main heating unit smack in the middle. So after my brother walks back, he's about to retrieve his food container when out of the corner of his eye he sees it. It's a shadowy figure, right in his peripheral vision. This feeling of dread and uneasiness washed over my brother. We had been taught that if you're in the presence of a spirit or ghost and you felt a bad vibe, to say a quick prayer or to cuss at it. My brother chose the latter. He basically just told it, hey, fuck you, I don't have time for this shit. My brother started walking to the back of the basement and briskly up the stairs, closing doors and turning off lights as he was walking out. The last light switch is on the opposite side of the room, from the front door. Luckily, the door was open and the light from the street lamp was flooding the living room with its amber light. My brother said he felt something at his back, but at no point did he turn around. As he flicked the last switch, the living room went dark, as did the rest of the house. As he stepped out, he pulled on the as he stepped out, he pulled on the door, closing it behind him. Still holding his food container in one hand, he jogged down the few porch steps. He walked towards the front gate. Our house resides far from the main street, essentially having a large front yard, but with no rear garage. As he closed the gap between himself and his friend in his truck, he kind of smiled and thought that things were things were over in his head, mad at himself for spooking himself when there was no reason to. He climbed into the driver's side of the truck, putting his seatbelt on and getting ready to pull out of the parking spot directly in front of the house when one of his friends asked, Hey, wait, what about your brother? Isn't he coming with us? My brother answered to them, What do you mean? He went to work early tonight. He's already gone. Did you see his car somewhere? I'm here and it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_05 41:36

I said I said, mm-mm, that was me.

SPEAKER_02 41:39

Uh my brother answered, What do you mean? He went to work early tonight. He's already gone. Did you see his car somewhere? The next question they asked, so then who was walking behind you as you were leaving the house? No, thank you.

SPEAKER_05 41:53

Spooky.

SPEAKER_04 41:54

Spooky!

SPEAKER_08 41:56

Spooky. Couldn't be couldn't be me. Couldn't be me. I'd be too busy crying, I'll tell you that much.

SPEAKER_07 42:03

Couldn't be me. I'm a baby.

SPEAKER_08 42:09

I

Urban Legends Send-Off And Man Hook

SPEAKER_08 42:10

think I think we made this just long enough to be an episode. What do y'all think? Sure. It's an episode, sure. It's an episode. It legally counts as an episode. Don't worry, everybody. Once we get Jason back in the thrall of things, I actually have a pretty fun one coming up for us. It's an ARG. We haven't known one of those in a while. I mean it should be chip chippas? Yeah, yeah. We actually, yeah, we're doing chip chimpy chippas first and then ARG. So give us like a month and we'll do an ARG. We have to do Chippy Chippas first.

SPEAKER_07 42:41

Jack.

SPEAKER_06 42:42

Jack. Anyway, boys, what do you gotta say to you? Doug, what do you gotta say to the people? Got him.

SPEAKER_07 42:58

That's it.

SPEAKER_08 43:00

Matt, what do you gotta say to the people?

SPEAKER_02 43:02

Such is life in Moscow.

SPEAKER_08 43:05

And I'll tell you, if you're ever out with your honey in your car trying to make out, and you hear a sound, and you turn the radio on, and it says something about an escaped mental patient from the asylum, and you hear a sound, and your boyfriend's like, I'll go check it out, and he leaves. And then you he never comes back, and then you hear sound outside car, and then you go to sleep, and you wake up next day. Just don't open that car door because you might find man hook car hand door, and you don't want to find man hook car hand door. You don't want to find that. I gotta find that real but I want to end on that. Hang on. Man hook and door hook car man hook hand car door. I I wanna end on the actual one because it's my favorite fucking thing.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

Before that, I'll say, dude, shouts out to whoever named themselves Marcus Fartbutt on YouTube. Yeah, Marcus Fartbutt. Fucking leaving comments and shit. And also you named yourself Marcus Fartbutt.

SPEAKER_07 44:07

So like you're the best, girl.

SPEAKER_02 44:08

Hold up.

SPEAKER_08 44:11

Man and girl go out go out to drive under moonlight. They stop at on at a side of road. He turned to his girl and say, Baby, I love you very much. What is it, honey? Our car is broken down. I think the engine is broken. I'll walk and get some more fuel. Okay. I'll stay here and look after our stereo. There have been news report of stereos stereos being stolen. Good idea. Keep the lot doors locked no matter what. I love you, Sweaty. I love you, Sweaty. So the guy left to get full for the car after two hours. The girl says, Where is my baby? He was supposed to be back by now. Then the girl hears a scratching sound and voice say, Levian. The girl doesn't do it, and then after a while, she goes to sleep. The next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. She gets out to check a mandor, hand hook, car door.

SPEAKER_00 45:19

Honestly, it's a classic under the internet.