DLUTI 244 - ImSeeingGnomes

Bet you didn't gnome about this one!

https://www.youtube.com/@ImSeeingGnomes

Transcript

Cold Open And SEO Chaos

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Don't look under the internet.

SPEAKER_04 0:34

I really hope that mental illness is the cause of things, but this is one of those instances that I might hope for that.

SPEAKER_06 0:40

Yeah. Welcome everybody to Don't Look Under the Internet. The internet's favorite podcast about mental illness. Um along with internet, horror, comedies, and podcasts. That's us. Uh I have to hit all those for the SEO to get us on everyone's. Yeah. Um I don't know. I could throw in some other words too, I guess. What are some right-wing grift words that we can throw in there to get more views? You know? Um, woke, woke. Obama, false flag Obama. What'd you say? False flag. False flag. Um reflecting pool. Pizza gate. Pizzagate. Autism. Clinton. Clinton.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

Um Ukrainian power company.

SPEAKER_04 1:24

And then there's a whole bunch of them that I don't feel comfortable saying in my cocaine.

SPEAKER_06 1:32

Um stock market. Anyway. Um, we're not political here, although sometimes we do, but we Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

UFC Dana War. Wait, it might be the tiny one. We were done.

SPEAKER_06 1:51

Sorry. What?

SPEAKER_04 1:53

This is gonna be the most Joe Rogan's tie at the UFC event on the White House lawn was comically stupidly tied. It was like to here. It was such a small tie. It was like a 14-year-old put a tie in himself the first time ever. It's yes, please do.

SPEAKER_06 2:09

And just tie. This is gonna be the most the most disliked video of all our videos. I can argue.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

I hope not, because that is telling about the fuck is going on here. It's like it's like not even covering the last button. Right.

SPEAKER_04 2:27

No, it's like caressing the underside of his man boobs.

SPEAKER_03 2:31

His neck's like also bursting out of his collar. It looks like he's like intentionally wearing a comical monkey suit.

SPEAKER_04 2:38

Yeah. I'm pretty sure he and a lot of people like him wear shirts that are just a little bit too small.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

Ryan uh accentuate things. Somebody photoshopped the oh god. Oh god, put it in the Patreon chat.

SPEAKER_04 2:52

Yeah, put it, put it, put it, put it, put it.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Perfect.

SPEAKER_04 3:08

His belly button ate half of it from drinking.

SPEAKER_06 3:11

He looks so proud. You're all probably wondering why we're talking about all this garbage right now. What the fuck are we doing? It's because the thing that we're talking about doesn't have much substance to it, so we really need to pad for time. Uh today I'm gonna go ahead and jump into uh Dilady housekeeping. So we're jumping right into housekeeping. I want to go ahead and first and foremost say if you are a right winger, I didn't mean the die thing. That was a little mean.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

But if you are a right winger, I'm making the episode, so don't make more things. I have to cut it out. I have to do that so often where it's so you you'll usually it's you will say something where it's where it's like, I didn't mean that, and I'm I I have to cut it out, and then later you readdress it like four or five times because I feel bad. And then I'm like, well, now if I edit this section where you apologize for what you said that I already cut out, then this doesn't make any sense anymore.

SPEAKER_04 4:13

It's because I feel bad. If you were to say simply, I'm sorry for what I said earlier, that would make the cut, and it'd be fine because sure, no one might know what you're talking about, but I think that's the point.

SPEAKER_06 4:31

But now you're like, remember that time that I said I'm gonna go ahead and do a housekeeping. Clap

Housekeeping And Editing Confessions

SPEAKER_06 4:38

above your head, clap above my head. The only housekeeping I have is go see our website.com. Go get the merch. Um that concludes housekeeping. Go visit the facility. Boys, I want to say, first and foremost, if I've ever said anything in the past, it's because I'm a little boy. I'm just a little guy, you know. I'm a tiny little guy, about yay big. So don't I'm I'm small and I'm tiny. Don't worry about what I say. It doesn't mean anything. Because I'm only like yay big. I'm a small guy, I'm a tiny guy. Much like the small tiny guys, kind of like Gnome Gnome Chomsky. Yes, that's the one.

SPEAKER_03 5:16

Yeah, that's what you should have done.

SPEAKER_06 5:18

Damn it. Damn it. All right, Matt, cut that all that out.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

You can start all over if you really want to. Do you just want to do that? It would make everything easier.

SPEAKER_05 5:32

No, keep it in.

SPEAKER_04 5:34

Keep the terrible this. I think that's part of our charm.

SPEAKER_06 5:38

If you want, we can start over.

SPEAKER_03 5:39

I don't care. This is for you.

SPEAKER_06 5:42

This is for me. Great. Let's keep it going. Gnome Chomsky was great. That's a good one. No, I don't want people thinking that was my joke. That's Jason's. He did that. Good job, Jason.

Meet The I’m Seeing Gnomes Channel

SPEAKER_06 5:51

Um no, but today we're talking about uh little gnomy man's. We're talking about a YouTube channel uh called I'm Seeing Gnomes. Now, this out of everything we've researched, uh, because as you guys guys know, we do we record two topics in one day. So we just did the thrift store tapes, and now we're doing this. And I gotta say, this is easily the better of the two. Like, let's be real here. Yeah, uh huh. For sure. Yeah. So if you just look up I'm seeing gnomes on YouTube, you'll come across it. It's a little this pisses me off a little bit. It's a little channel with two and a half with 2500 subs. How the fuck do we only have 1.9 and shit like this gets 2500? I'm mad. I didn't think that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 6:35

But hey, how long for six years? How long did it take this channel to get that many subs?

SPEAKER_06 6:42

Okay, this channel is 16 years old, so I will say that. We're not off, we're six years old, so we're not off by that point.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

Really, you should be thinking we're over halfway that. What the fuck are they doing? Yeah, we've already caught up with them.

SPEAKER_04 6:55

I guess easily by the halfway point, we are we are passing them by.

SPEAKER_06 7:00

You're not wrong, but there are only a couple uh videos on here. There are about eight videos total, technically, nine if you go to the playlists. Uh, but we are going to talk about what the fuck this I'm seeing gnomes is. You could keep it at eight and it'd be fine. No, no, no. No, no, no. There is a much needed plot in that playlist. I tell you what.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 7:23

So where do we start? Except if not the itty bitty gnome beginnings.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

All right. So we'll start with a video. You actually have to go to the playlist section of the channel to find. But I actually want to start off by reading the description of the channel. So this really like highlights what you're in for. I've started this channel as a public means to document what I believe is, quote, gnome activity on my property. The activity includes items being misplaced, tampered with, and actually seeing biped-like entities near the woods that do not match the description of known animals in this region. Parentheses, mountain area. Now great. Which which suggests to me if you don't live in a mountain area, this behavior is perfectly normal. But this area. Yeah. It's no go. All right.

SPEAKER_06 8:20

Gnomes of Appalachia.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

So back over to the fucking videos. The

The Classic Blurry Gnome Clip

SPEAKER_03 8:27

first video we're going to cover is if you go to the playlists tab on this channel, you'll get a video that was not uploaded by this, but was uploaded 18 years ago by a channel just called Dan. But this is called Danny got it. He got Dan Danley. Dan Danley.

SPEAKER_04 8:53

Hope you guys listened to last week's episode.

SPEAKER_03 8:55

If you don't, well, that's fine. Gnome in Argentina is what this video is called. Now, the this video is blurry as a motherfucker, but it's some dudes hanging out on a street next to a wall, and what they're saying, I think, probably doesn't matter, which is good because I don't understand it. There's a the sun logo up in the top, too, which is how you know this is official. But after a little while, the camera pans down the street. And what do we see? We see a little guy. A little guy. Little guy. Just lurking about. And he sure do look gnome looking. He it's a very small man with a pointy hat.

SPEAKER_05 9:43

Heidi hidey high.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

It's it's what I could only describe as a gnome. That is gnome activity. You can't really see the features very well because of the sheer potato quality of the video.

SPEAKER_06 9:56

But now this is 18 years old. Remember, there people are watching the shit on like CRTs essentially. This is like 240p.

SPEAKER_03 10:03

So it might have looked better with the scan lines, it may have looked fine. Who knows? Fuck off.

SPEAKER_06 10:16

You made that bed yourself, Mike.

SPEAKER_04 10:19

It was 2008, okay? It was probably fine. It probably looks better in 2008 than it does today. You're you're probably right. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:28

The monitors today are make everything squished and bigger and bad. It's the same reason if you play PlayStation One game or something, you play it on a high def uh screen, it looks worse. It looks worse because you see every pixel back then you didn't.

SPEAKER_04 10:42

It's just more pixels. I'm about to end this video. Are you done? Yes.

Property Tour Of “High Activity”

SPEAKER_03 10:52

So the first video that's actually on I'm seeing gnomes is called Gnome High Activity Location Tour. Parentheses, clip0094.asf. So this is gnome as fuck boy.

SPEAKER_06 11:06

Gnome as fuck boy.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

So this is a guy with a very thick country accent walking around his property, and he's showing us all of the places on his property he believes the gnomes are hiding. So he has this little barn that's got some lattice underneath it, and there's holes in the lattice, and he's like, I've seen these biped things going in and into these holes underneath my barn, but they don't ever come out. And then he starts walking around in the woods. And most of the rest of the video, honestly, is just that. It's him walking around the woods, and he shows some brush, and he's like, The brush is really thick, things can't really get through here real good. And then he but he also mentions that things have been disappearing, and then he shows us a hole, and he really fixates on this hole in the ground, and it looks like a hole where a tree used to be and has fallen over, just leaving a gaping section of earth that is no longer there. He's like, I think's been living in here. This is where the th the gnomes are living. They're going into the hole, and they're they ain't coming out. He doesn't really sound like that. We're giving them real fucking. Yeah, but that's the attitude.

SPEAKER_04 12:29

We're gonna do this guy real dirty. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:32

But anyway, we're gonna have Alex Jones vibes, and that is not what's actually the gnomes gay.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

But I think it's funnier this way, so I'm gonna keep doing it. Hell yeah. But anyway, the gnomes are living in this hole. Must have autists. And then he's and then he explains that any actual documentation he has of the gnome activity comes in the series of photos because he hasn't actually been able to record any gnomes on video, but he hopes he can. Now, if you look at the comments on this video, there are a couple of times at which people are very convinced that you can actually see gnome.

SPEAKER_04 13:14

And so one of them throughout this whole scene.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

One of them is at 313, where if you go to 313, up in the the like the right hand side of the screen, you see something kind of scurry past. Now, could this be a squirrel? Absolutely. This could be a squirrel. But is it a squirrel? No, it's a gnome.

SPEAKER_06 13:38

Is it going to be a squirrel? Yes. Is it? No, it's gnome.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

It's a gnome.

SPEAKER_04 13:42

I love that our biases are not showing.

SPEAKER_03 13:45

No at all. It's a gnome, man.

SPEAKER_04 13:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

And then the other one is if if you look at the hole, people in the comments are very, very convinced that you can see the faces of the gnomes. And I gotta tell you, I looked at this for a while and I'm having a hard time. I can kind of see maybe how this, like down in the bottom left or right corner of the hole, there's like this black thing that maybe I can kind of make out two eyes. I'm having a hard time seeing the gnome. But if somebody, if somebody has been able to see it and can draws a picture of the gnome.

SPEAKER_06 14:26

There's a comment. There's a comment on the blog spot, blog spot. We'll mention what the blog spot is later, I'm sure. But there's a comment about your video and it says, Wow, it's a fucking grasshopper at 51 seconds later.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

It is very small. Whatever it is, if that's a gnome, very tiny. And doesn't match the size of the footprints that we'll that we'll get into later. Anyway, that's gnome high activity for the most part. The

The Missing Spoon And Tiny Tracks

SPEAKER_03 14:54

next video is just called Missing Spoon Gnome Activity Photos, parentheses, wooden spoon.wmv. Now, this is the photos he was talking about, where he's actually got documented evidence that this gnome situation is for real. So he explains that this was a photo that was taken on February 13th, 2010, and this is a spoon that was outside of that was previously inside his house, and overnight it became outside his house in the snow. And and the this spoon is near tracks, foot, little footsteps that he says absolutely could not be made by any sort of animal that lives around here.

SPEAKER_06 15:38

Is this Dale Gribble now?

SPEAKER_03 15:41

Hank. The gnomes are taking the spoons out of my house, Hank.

SPEAKER_06 15:48

This is absolutely something Dale Gribble would believe in as well. This is Dale Gribble's Spoon gnomes, Hank!

SPEAKER_03 15:59

Anyway, the spoon is next to some foot like like tracks that look like we like they were made by a very small creature. So maybe a very small bipedal creature, maybe a gnome.

SPEAKER_04 16:12

Now maybe more like a creature who has persistent footsteps, but you know, bipedal.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

Now, this is how you know that it's the gnomes, right? Okay. In addition to the footsteps by the spoon, there's also tracks that are going into the hole in the lattice underneath his barn that he said he's seen these bipedal creatures going into. Also, they go out to the woods where the hole is. But also, they go to the house.

SPEAKER_07 16:45

The gnome house? No, his house.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

Where the spoon came from. The full-sized house. Gnome. Why would anything else have any reason to go to the house unless it was a gnome that wanted the spoon?

SPEAKER_06 17:02

Oh, yeah, the spoon. They're like crows, they want shiny things.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

Exactly. Anyway, so we see some photos of that of the footsteps, and then he's like, for comparison, here's my footsteps next to the little footsteps. Different. Different. Different. Smaller. Smaller, different. Smaller.

SPEAKER_06 17:38

I I just want to say thank you very much. Uh Zach Tucker. He is the one that sent us an email requesting we look at this. And I see why now. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 17:47

I just I love that like a decade and a half later, this is getting attention. Like it's all these videos were posted like 16 fucking years ago. Like, this is so old. And there was nothing. And then recently, for some fucking reason, people are like, I need to find out all about your gnome research.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

No.

unknown 18:10

No.

SPEAKER_04 18:11

I need to know more.

unknown 18:13

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

Chilling with my nomies. Anyway. Hell yeah. That's missing spoon gnome activity photos, wooden spoon.wmv. What's next?

SPEAKER_06 18:27

What's next? I can tell you what's next. Because I'm gonna sum them all up in one fell spot. We have

Midnight Chattering In The Driveway

SPEAKER_06 18:35

chattering part one, chattering part two, and chattering part three. All these are like one minute, two minute, three-minute long videos. And it's this guy in the pitch dark. He's like in his driveway and he's like, I heard them out there. They're out in the woods.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

They're out in the woods, Hank.

SPEAKER_06 18:53

He's like, I heard I'm chattering. And in defense, you do hear like little like like in the background a little bit. He's like, He's a listen, do you hear that? I can't hear him. And I kind of it it's pissing me off a little bit. And people have said it in the comments too. They're like, Yo, this guy needs to shut the fuck up, telling me to listen to gnomes, and he keeps talking over him. Uh, and I agree, shut up if he's because he's like, Listen, do you hear that? Sounds like they're chattered. I'd wonder where it's coming from. I don't see anything. It's like, I wish I could hear a fucking chattering, my guy. I fucking wish I could. Well, you won't shut the fuck up. So he's like, I I I hear him out there. They're out in my they're out in the woods by my driveway. I'm standing in my driveway right now. It's pitch black. This digital camera makes it so you can't see them. Excuses. Um, and then he eventually goes out into the woods and he says, he's like, Oh, I got my flashlight with me. Sure, don't look like he's using it because it's pitch black the entire fucking time. And then we get one scene where it's not pitch black, we just see like a branch, and then he's like, I don't know if the camera's picking this up, but do you see? It looks like two eyes staring at me, and uh those don't look like deer eyes to me, though those must be gnome eyes, them's just gnomes out there and gnomes out there and them gnomes out there.

SPEAKER_08 20:12

Got them gnomes out there.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

Uh now we have a Cajun mountain man. I got them gnomes out there. I always forget the Cajun people exist.

SPEAKER_06 20:29

Well, on top of it on the moment. So this is off topic a little bit, but my my buddy Darius, his uh his grandfather is from Alabama, and boy howdy, does he have that thick draw to where I would answer the phone sometimes and he just picked up and be like, Well, you won't? I'm like, is uh Darius there? Wow, who called for him? Like, uh it's Michael, and he's just I just hear him like, uh, get warm here. There's there on the phone. And then he goes to pass the phone. One time I called and he goes through this entire thing, and he goes to pass the phone, just hear him go, goddamn white people.

SPEAKER_05 21:10

God damn it. I'm like, what did I do? I'm 15.

SPEAKER_04 21:17

He told you exactly what you did. Damn white people. I'm like, what did I do?

SPEAKER_05 21:21

I'm 15, I'm just a boy.

SPEAKER_04 21:24

You've got Irish skin, that was your fault.

SPEAKER_06 21:26

Yeah, but he he has this thick Alabama accent, and he calls it oil is oil. And you didn't dare something like you got no oil. We're just a couple oil men down from Texas.

SPEAKER_04 21:36

But oh man, we're thinking about filling you up off topic, but there we go.

SPEAKER_06 21:41

Uh, but yeah, that's that's chattering part one, two, and three. Just a guy in his driveway going, No, there's a gnome. I know there's no smell.

SPEAKER_07 21:50

I just I can smell you. I know you're a gnome.

SPEAKER_04 21:55

I know you're there.

SPEAKER_07 21:56

I know you're there. I can smell the perfect crack.

SPEAKER_04 22:02

Yeah, that's all I got. That's all you got? Damn, I'm not.

SPEAKER_06 22:05

I'm telling you, nothing happened in these videos. It's just a guy going, dang, I wish you could see this for five minutes straight, just dang.

SPEAKER_04 22:13

And then sure is dark. He doesn't hear this. Also, I'm gonna continue talking so you can't.

SPEAKER_06 22:19

Yeah. Again, admittedly, you do hear little things that could he mention is the chatter. He's like, Oh, I heard it out there.

SPEAKER_08 22:25

And the dogs are barking because of it.

SPEAKER_06 22:29

The damn gnomes making the dog bark. Because this all took place at like 12:30 at night.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

And yeah, you do hear like the which is probably just squirrels.

SPEAKER_06 22:40

Probably no, it'd be them gnomes out there.

SPEAKER_04 22:45

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_06 22:46

Go ahead, Jason. What you got?

SPEAKER_04 22:48

Um, well, I have the the very last three.

Ground Tunnels And Tick Season

SPEAKER_04 22:52

Um, this is the end. This is we're almost the end of the episode, everyone. Thank you. You know, you're welcome. It's great. Um, the next video we're gonna talk about is something called More Ground Tunnels. And this video, if you can believe it or not, is almost nine fucking minutes long. I'm sorry you got that. I watched the whole thing. You shouldn't have done that. I don't know why I should have shut it off after two fucking minutes. Okay, this is literally about a man, the same guy who's documenting these fucking gnomes, and he's walking in the woods, and you see some leaves, and you see some bent over trees, and he's just walking, goes, I'm gonna show you some of the the locations of the holes that I've been finding on my property. And as he's walking so fucking slow.

SPEAKER_03 23:41

Like, I I was getting so we all have wildly different interpretations of what a Southern is.

SPEAKER_06 23:46

This guy's gonna get this guy's gonna get a ping. He's probably got like a Google alert set up for it. I'm seeing gnomes.

SPEAKER_05 23:52

He's gonna get a ping. It's just gonna, it's just us going, oh, there's gnomes out there. Oh, yeah, nobody there's gnomes out there.

SPEAKER_04 24:01

Like, this man's gonna get a fucking voicemail from a lawyer saying, Would you like to prosecute these three people for hate crimes? And that's gonna be either the beginning or end.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

We've all made multiple attempts at a at his country accent, and he doesn't sound like any of his from ooh, you gave him like a debutante accent.

SPEAKER_06 24:19

I gave him to Georgia last.

SPEAKER_04 24:26

I will say, I will say it's accurate. One of the very Russian comments, I say, by the way, if you read the comments in any of these videos, like half of them are in Russian. What the fuck is that? I have no idea why, but one of them, if you translate them, pinpoints that he is either from very, very, very southern western tip of North Carolina or or Atlanta, Georgia.

SPEAKER_06 24:51

There's a comment on every single video that's a certain or something, and it just says typhoon. If you translate it, it just says typhoon.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_04 25:00

Dude, I don't know. I have no idea, no fucking idea. Um, so this almost nine-minute video entitled More Ground Tunnels and Forest Locations. Okay, cool, great. Um, the first what four no, I'm sorry. The first full minute is him trying to get over like two logs, and he eventually does. Spoiler alert, I know you you can go watch if you want, but this is the this is the conclusion of it. He gets over the logs and he finds this little like mossy outcropping rock thing with a hole in it, and he says, It's a tunnel, and it goes down a lot, it goes down a whole lot, and I don't know where it goes. And he goes, anyway, and he starts talking. He's like, if I were out here and it were a little bit later in the season, I would be covered head to toe in ticks, and I just I just gotta tell you, I just I would not be out here. And he keeps like he's walking, and I swear to god, he's taking like one step every four to ten seconds, depending on where he's at. We don't want to scare the gnomes, dude. Yeah, man. Well, I also don't want to die of old age. Like, I I don't know what to tell you, man. Get to the like, get there.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

Your gnome evidence will arrive in five to six businesses.

SPEAKER_04 26:20

Pretty much. It's like UPS decided to package up a walking plan and give it to um. So he's walking, he's bitching about how he's not even bitching about the current ticks, he's bitching about if he were there later in the year, there would be ticks. Guy sure does bitch a lot. This is bitch a lot. Uh so he's walking and he goes, All right, up here there's another, there's another hole, and he shows another another rock with some moss around the edges, and he goes, Now, this one you can see they dug away the dirt to make the hole. I'm like, Yep, that's fucking how holes work. What he goes, you can tell you look in there, it's hollow. There's no dirt in the hole. And I'm like, Yes, that's thank you so fucking much for the physics of holes. Listen, I love mental illness.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

I went to high school with rednecks, and I have learned that if you're ever in the woods with one, they are it's a requirement that they have to constantly bestow their knowledge of their surroundings with you. See that see what that right now?

SPEAKER_04 27:25

No, I got I need to say I have seen, I have physically myself seen the absence of dirt in the ground, which is a hole. So, like, I feel like I'm pretty well versed on what holes are. You like he spent fucking two minutes describing what a hole was to us, and then he moves on. He goes, Okay, if we go over here, we're gonna see a bunch more, you know. Well, oh shit, this is an area where if it were later in the year, I again, if I walked through this, I would be covered in ticks. This video is more about tick awareness and Lyme disease than it is gnomes. I need like it's that's a real thing. It is, and like, good for you, man. You're getting the word out, you're making sure people are safe. Don't go in tall grasses during like the heat of summer because there's it's tick season.

SPEAKER_06 28:14

Maybe gnomes is a metaphor here. Maybe more ticks. Yeah, what's the spoon in this metaphor? Um that um vasculating. Uh uh, they like shiny things. I don't know what. So the scout is a metaphor for the drugs that you he's using to see using for the MMA that he needs to reduce down to a liquid.

SPEAKER_04 28:42

Yeah. Um, so he keeps walking, he keeps talking about ticks like a like a lot. Like a four minutes of this nine-minute video is learning about how many ticks would be on his body if he were here just a little bit later. Um, he keeps walking, walking, talking about how he's gonna get poked in the eyes by sticks, and he finds another hole and he goes, Look, it's another hole, it's weird. And he looks in it and he goes, See how it goes like past the earth? Great. So if we keep going this way and he walks to another part of the forest and he goes, There's a tree over there, and there's all these other trees that are like they're laying down, they they're destroyed. Like, this is this is what we call a thicket. And he goes, also, that tree over there has another hole. And oh man, would you look at that? There are so many ants near this tree. And he spends a good 30 seconds talking about the ants, and he does a close-up on a crack in the tree, and after that, he turns around and goes, Cool, so we don't really need to look at this tree anymore. Um, it's just another example of what the what the hole looks like, and he walks the fuck away.

SPEAKER_06 29:56

Um, so far I've learned about holes in trees. This is a net geo fucking don't forget ticks.

SPEAKER_04 30:02

Oh, don't worry. As soon as the tree with the hole in it is out of sight, he tells us that oh my god, I'm like a walking buffet. Like a lot of the ticks in this area love just to latch onto the skin and just eat you alive. I would be full of them.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

Um I love that he made the decision to just upload this video completely unedited.

SPEAKER_04 30:26

That's why that's 16 years ago. I probably didn't get to edit. They didn't have what Windows movie maker.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

Except except if it was that, all that runtime would still be there. It would just be replaced by a blue screen in a Lincoln Park side. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 30:43

With like white text in the end. Um he then oh wait, hold on. We change it up real quick. We go from holes on the floor to cracks and trees near the sky. It's just a wildly different experience. He talks about a dead tree for a minute. Um, the very last thing we see is him scanning past the tree line, showing us that there are several different holes around the area. Um, and then he tells us several different holes. Same man, and I don't I don't fucking show them to everyone and their mothers. Um, he does tell us that I'm so sorry I was not able to explore the rest of the area, so I don't know how many holes are out here, but there are some. And then the video ends. Hmm. So you know, I'm done, I guess. That's that's all I have to talk about. Ticks, holes, and and trees, I guess. Where the trees gnomes? No, but I I will say in the comments there's some Russian, and again, it there's a bunch of typhoon, like there's like four comments that contain the word typhoon, and I don't know why. Um, and some other people say, like, oh, I think I saw like a silhouette of something moving in a hole at this time stamp. If you turn the brightness all the way up and also take mushrooms, like I because I didn't really I didn't watch the rest of these videos simply because I was strapped for time. I I wasn't sure if there was just something I was missing context, like I was just like if there was something that was explained about these holes earlier that I'd like okay, this means something, obviously. And I am now realizing nope, not at all. Nope, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 32:30

Jason uh Jason messaged me and was like, hey, like, is there any context to my three videos that I should know about? Because there's not a whole lot going on here. And I'm like, no, I've put I picked this topic to piss off Matt.

SPEAKER_04 32:46

Yeah, yeah. So that's all I got, guys. That's that's pretty much it for that video. There is one more video that is several seconds long at least.

A Tan Screen With “Gnome Audio”

SPEAKER_04 32:58

At least what bug are we gonna learn about in this one? Um, well, no bugs. There's actually no video at all. No, at all. Like at all. Oh, is it a Naruto fight AMV from 2010? Absolutely, yes. Okay. Um, no, the first thing you see is a tan screen with the brat with brackets and a shadowed text-based description that just says indistinguishable. Okay. This is how we're setting it up. This is called Gnome Chatter Captured on Audio question mark. So it's 46 seconds long, and it's a tan screen the entire fucking time, the same gradient, and it says indistinguishable a couple of times, and in the background you hear some high-pitched like noise that might be considered language if you've never spent a day on Earth. Um and the only time I could any hear anything clearly that it sounds like communication in a different language is like the last four seconds where it sounds like a gnome gets really pissed off and is yelling at another gnome, and that's it.

unknown 34:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 34:09

And that is all I have to say. Because it's that same weird chattering, it's like on my percent. It's just the it's the little like and you can't hear most of it. You cannot hear most of it.

SPEAKER_06 34:22

That's a flute. Someone said no uh gnome flutes, and they do that when mad or something. Because couldn't because you know when you get pissed off, you're just like, God damn it.

SPEAKER_04 34:32

It's when they when they find the underpants. The underpants gnomes. Right. Holy shit, I have not thought about the underpants gnomes in a fucking minute. I don't even know what that is. It's from South Park. Yeah, they get into Carpens underwear drawer and he has to fight off underwear gnomes. Oh well, shit. Well, like I mentioned before, dude. I like I I I wish there was more for me to talk about in what was supposed to be the last three videos in this series, but like Jason, what? There is more to talk about.

SPEAKER_06 35:08

There is, you're you are

The Blog Adds Text Evidence

SPEAKER_06 35:10

right. Icnnomes.blogspot.com.

SPEAKER_05 35:12

There is a blog.

SPEAKER_06 35:14

If you go to the description of the channel, you can find a blog page where this is a Russian comment in like one of the random ass videos.

SPEAKER_04 35:22

Like way the fuck down.

SPEAKER_06 35:23

The best part is now you can see mental illness in text format, so that's fun. But I I will note they do go way more in depth. They basically show um like benches and notes. Well, he's like, hey, you know, I've been hearing some shit outside, and I think it's gnomes because I hear the chattering, so I put this clipboard with a note out on a bench, hoping that they were. And then he posts nothing about gnomes. No, he doesn't, and then he just posts a bunch of scenic photos. He's like, look at look at this fun, look at this these foresty pictures. But then you do you you do hear some things because he he posts a mega upload uh link, which doesn't link out to anything anymore. It looks like it's dead. But there's transcripts to it where he he puts like the train like the text of what is heard, like the audio, and it seems like it's a different language, like we in a hey, and uh emphasis on the here. What'd you say? It's like the Sims language, pretty much. Yeah, but it's simish Nymore. Um, but it's pretty much that crap, and then like he posts other like there's blog archives where you could find like different months and stuff. Like there's May, April, and March. And he's got like new audio review where he'll find um uh he'll he'll find like he'll post screenshots of him posting stuff in like Audacity, like audio clips in Audacity. He's like, look, you can see a tiny little bump here where I hear the gnome chatter, and that must be the gnome chatter. That's them, we got him. Uh paranormal activity. Very paranormal activity and very unnormal activity. Um but yeah, it's just okay. I guess activity is a normal activity. You are right. Once again, it's a pet detective situation that we've gotten ourselves into. But it's just like, I guess there's more information here. But is there really no information here?

Debunking Tracks And Forest Noises

SPEAKER_06 37:32

There's tiny, he posts the tiny footprints again. But really, is there like and and I'm guessing I'm just gonna say it to debunk the the footprints thing here. Cats leave footprints like this outside all the time, especially in the cold. Oh, there's a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03 37:48

If you live anywhere like a raccoon or something, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 37:50

If you live anywhere near like a wild cat or raccoon, they stay in their same paw, their same paw prints, so it doesn't show like um it first and foremost.

SPEAKER_04 37:58

It's like a pack that looks like one.

SPEAKER_06 38:00

Yeah, not only that, but like cats will do it because they've already made the imprint, so it helps them stay quiet because they're not making new footprints, and also it keeps their paws warmer because they're not stepping on fresh snow. So it's like a whole thing, and like that's easily debunkable there. The chattering itself, my guy, it's probably just a squirrel. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.

SPEAKER_03 38:24

It could be the ticks. Maybe he's hearing the ticks, maybe he got bit by a tick and it gave him like radioactive tick like senses.

SPEAKER_04 38:31

Yeah, a ticket communicate with him now. Yeah, like bird into his amygdala in his brain and just it could be living now.

SPEAKER_06 38:38

This could be RFK Jr. and these are the worms communicating with him as they're eating his brain.

SPEAKER_04 38:43

Yeah, or that except more tick.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

I like the idea that he's been bitten by a tick and has become part of their like hive mind, their tick hive mind.

SPEAKER_06 38:53

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 38:53

You guys remember the TV show The Tick?

SPEAKER_06 38:55

Oh, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, with Patrick Warbuckle or whatever his name is or Burt, yeah, Warburton, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:01

Not Patrick Warburton, but yes, I think it was Warbuckle, but yes, oh my god. It's a good show. But like I don't know, I don't remember it too much, but I I don't okay.

SPEAKER_06 39:15

First and foremost, I'm really glad that this was sent to us, but I I why why does this exist? Why is it getting traction 16 fucking years later? Like the the only thing I will give this, the only thing is this is one of two things. One, this person actually does believe that these are gnomes that they are encountering, or two, this is some sort of attempt at like a story or storytelling, and if the second one is the case, this is 16 years old, this is like the infancy of YouTube, kind of. So good on you for being a one of the founding fathers there. But the first ARG. I gotta, I gotta hope it's that one, because if not, this is this is bad.

SPEAKER_03 40:02

People were really just uploading anything back then, man.

SPEAKER_06 40:05

Just whatever they wanted. I guess. I guess so. I just I I hope that's this isn't someone who thinks this is real. Because then that that's bad if someone thinks this is real. But then again, people live in Appalachia and think a lot of things are real, so who knows?

SPEAKER_04 40:21

I was so confused when I looked at like what we were supposed to watch, watching it, and that's when I messaged you like I have like I have to be missing something. Like that there's no way that I'm this clueless after a nine-minute video, which is the longest in the series, and then another explan explanation video. I'm like, I can't, there's no way, there's no way. So there is a way, and it's right here. It's called I'm seeing gnomes.

SPEAKER_06 40:54

So, what are we thinking,

ARG Or Genuine Belief Debate

SPEAKER_06 40:55

boys? What do you want to rate this? I'm thinking a hard nine hard nine, honestly. Real or fake. Honestly, I think that one, instead of rating it on a scale, I think a real or fake is is more what and and by real or fake, I mean, do you think this person is posting is thinking they're actually finding gnomes, or do you think it's a fake story?

SPEAKER_04 41:16

Fiction or mental illness is your question.

SPEAKER_06 41:18

Yes, this is the new game we're gonna play with every episode. Fiction or mental illness, fiction or mental illness. Man, uh that's a rough set of credit here. Fiction or is lead involved? Um I I'm I'm gonna go with it.

SPEAKER_03 41:39

Yeah, I didn't think about that. He lives in Appalachia that they haven't been replacing those pipes up in the mountains. What's going on here? Or he got bit by a tick and has Lyme disease and is like a neurodegenerative, degenerative, like that. That could be it.

SPEAKER_06 41:55

I'm going with real. I feel like this is someone who thinks this shit's real. It was so long ago.

SPEAKER_04 42:01

It was well, it was six years. Like the span of when this took place from front to finish, like front to back, was six fucking years of him just doing shit. I think this guy's goofing. And that's there were six videos that came out of all like uh it was a video a year, plus whatever the fuck he posted on his blog.

SPEAKER_03 42:21

Actually, you know what? You got a point. You got a point. If he was just goofing, that's that's a long time. That's committing to the goof.

SPEAKER_04 42:30

Yeah, yeah. I don't have that kind of attention span. I just I just don't.

SPEAKER_03 42:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

But also if you're really that worked up about the gnomes.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

Are you really gonna commit? Like, are you gonna maintain that level of delusion for that long?

SPEAKER_06 42:51

Mental illness is a bitch, dog. Yeah, I know. I also know I think this is real because of all the things to be a trendsetter on and be like, YouTube has I have the opportunity, there is this platform called YouTube that you can upload videos. I think that's a story.

SPEAKER_03 43:07

2010 wasn't really good, like Slender Man was already a thing at that point.

SPEAKER_06 43:11

Okay, yeah, but but if you have an idea and you're like, I can use this platform, I don't think gnomes is the thing that you would go with.

SPEAKER_03 43:22

I think people were making onfiction content in 2010. That's I mean, yeah, this is a weird angle to take on it, but you know, you're not wrong.

SPEAKER_04 43:34

Like, this could just be an attempt at greatness that just I'm not gonna finish.

SPEAKER_06 43:39

Icarus, I'm not gonna go way too close to the sun on this one. Yeah, I I'm gonna go with the this the person thinks this is real, Hundo P. I'm going with it. That's my final answer. I hope I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_04 43:53

I really hope I'm wrong. But I also don't know why somebody would spend six years and uh and fucking take a like. Upload videos and put a blog together if it wasn't meant to be either an experience or they thought it was real.

SPEAKER_03 44:06

I think this guy really was like, I'm on to something new. I'm cooking.

unknown 44:11

I'm cooking.

SPEAKER_03 44:12

I'm cooking with this one.

SPEAKER_04 44:13

I'm cooking with meth.

SPEAKER_03 44:15

They'll see my brilliant someday.

SPEAKER_06 44:19

16 years later. He's got 16 years later. This is gonna get big. I mean, we're talking about it, so like it worked, I guess. Back in 2010, he was like, Man, I can't wait for some some Z tier bullshit ass podcast to be talking about my gnome story.

SPEAKER_04 44:42

Maybe us talking about this allowed him to finally get off. I don't know what the criteria is here, but maybe I'm not gonna pretend to understand it.

SPEAKER_06 44:50

Who's to say?

Patreon Plugs And Gnome Fight Talk

SPEAKER_06 44:52

Well, boys, thank you for joining me on this miraculous ride through Gnome County. Um I just want to say patreon.com slash dilutipod if you're not already on there, get there or deludy.com. If you're not already there, you can get there also. Uh bonus content, so that's always fun. And also merch, go check that shit out. Um I also want to say if you see an itty bitty little guy that's like, I don't know, yay big, and he's running up on your dad and you always he's trying to kiss him, it's probably me, not a gnome. Don't even worry about it. Um if you do see a gnome, actual assault. If you do see no, it's not the dad consents. But if if you uh if you do see a gnome in real life, I want you to just pick it up by its little gnomey hat and just dropkick that motherfucker like you're punting a football. Why or take its gold because I'm sure gnomes work the same as leprechauns, I bet, or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

Something about it.

SPEAKER_04 46:03

Yeah. You just cryptic racist. Generalizing and applying. That's all you're doing here. Who would win in a fight?

SPEAKER_06 46:09

A gnome or a leprechaun?

SPEAKER_04 46:11

It depends on if Charlie Day has caught them and put them in a glue trap. How drunk is the leprechaun? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 46:16

Pretty fucking. But would that make it better or worse? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:19

That gives the edge of the leprechaun.

SPEAKER_06 46:21

Yeah, I'm gonna say pretty fucking. You can go floppy when you get thrown.

SPEAKER_04 46:25

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 46:26

I'm floppy all the time, dude. Not just when I'm thrown. Sorry, Lori.

SPEAKER_03 46:34

It worked once, and that's all that matters.

SPEAKER_04 46:42

He has the proof.

SPEAKER_02 46:44

He does.

SPEAKER_04 46:49

Mori? Yeah, the paternity test guy. I forgot that guy exists.

SPEAKER_03 46:56

I used to watch Marium lunch breaks. My first job ever. At work? Yeah. Yeah, at work during the lunch breaks in the break room. We'd always have Mari on.

SPEAKER_04 47:06

I think it's illegal not to show that at work in the break room.

SPEAKER_03 47:10

I'm pretty sure every job I had it was on. That's how you know you're working at a classy establishment.

SPEAKER_04 47:16

Mari's a client. Praternity test reality TV. Yeah. Jason, what do you got for people? Oh

Stay Paranoid And Final Sign-Off

SPEAKER_04 47:27

god. Uh stay paranoid. Um, stay away from stories like this, I guess. I don't know. I do I could not. I could not usually I've got something positive to say, but I watch nine minutes of fucking nothing, and then another minute and 43 of nothing, and then 46 seconds of a tan screen and nothing. I just I love what we do, but sometimes we hit these things that I'm like, fuck man, this is just this is rough.

SPEAKER_06 47:54

Like, I don't know. I'm always trying to find like a new topic for us to cover, and sometimes I'm frantic about I don't know what to do. Maybe I should introduce more of these dumb fuckery ones and just see what happens.

SPEAKER_04 48:06

I think maybe that's something it was yeah, it was a fun thing, but like I I just there was there was no payoff. There's no payoff. Stay paranoid of things that have no payoffs.

SPEAKER_06 48:19

I think that's what I have to say to the audience. I think it's I think this didn't piss us off because it wasn't someone trying hard. No, like you don't it wasn't like someone threw together a shitty slideshow and was like, I got an analog whore. It was a guy being like, You can't see them, but they're out there in my driveway.

SPEAKER_03 48:36

This guy's either unwell, in which case you just gotta feel bad for him, or is just taking the piss, and you gotta respect that.

SPEAKER_04 48:45

So there's really no bad way to fucking screw this, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 48:50

They didn't create a shitty slideshow, they didn't fucking he just showed you nine minutes of raw, unedited gnome content.

SPEAKER_04 48:58

Stick infested forest. No gnomes, not a single fucking gnome.

SPEAKER_06 49:04

Let me be clear. You know what? I changed my answer. I do think this guy's just making all this up. I do think there's a story because I think at this point throughout all of it, he was like, maybe I can just fuck with people and just drop nine minutes of nonsense.

SPEAKER_03 49:17

Just see if they'll watch this.

SPEAKER_06 49:19

Fuck it. Yeah, see if I can fuck people up.

SPEAKER_03 49:21

It clearly worked because people commented on things and were like, I think I see domes.

SPEAKER_04 49:26

I say no. He got a bunch of Russians, too. Like, I yeah, it's whatever he did kind of worked for I think maybe what he may have been going for.

SPEAKER_03 49:34

I want to see the timeline breakdown of how this is indirectly responsible for the invasion of Crimea.

SPEAKER_06 49:42

Or the downfall of Yugoslavia. It could be attached to it. Uh, Muthalmule, Jay Simpson, what do you got for people?

SPEAKER_03 49:51

Uh Bill Gates made me allergic to red meat. Yeah, that's why you should stay paranoid.

SPEAKER_06 49:59

That is why you should stay paranoid. He pled guilty to some affairs stuff.

SPEAKER_03 50:04

Uh I think the red meat thing is the more egregious problem here.

SPEAKER_06 50:08

You're right. Yeah. It's because he put uh gnomes in the meat. Right. Watch out for that.

SPEAKER_04 50:18

There's gnomes in the chocolate. There's gnomes in it.

SPEAKER_06 50:21

Alright, buddy. Thank you for joining us on this teeny tiny adventure. Uh, I hope you join us next time when I find some other tomfoolery for us to talk about. Um until then.

SPEAKER_02 50:33

Go fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_06 50:34

Go fuck yourself.